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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Tigress
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 2
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Ok, first of all, you said you've been single for almost 5 years and yet, you have a 2 year old and an 11 month old. What was that, a couple of one night stands? And why weren't you using birth control? And what happened to these Daddys? Aren't they paying child support?Do you know who their Daddy/Daddys are? Maybe you should go on the Maury show!

My advise to you is, since you are having so much trouble getting a man to help you take care of these children, DON'T HAVE ANY MORE!

Since you said in your profile that you are a full time college student, obviously someone is helping take care of you and your kids. Probably your parents.

Concentrate on your career, and you won't need a man to take care of the kids. You just need to look for a man for yourself, that hopefully will be good to your kids and be a good role model for them.
 paul0979
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 3
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 9/21/2006 1:27:14 PM
Okay, I can't speak for all men, I can only give my impression: I'm here for me, not for a mother (or replacement mother) for my son. But, at the same time, that woman has to be able to accept that my son is important to me, and that I will do anything needed for my son, when he needs it, because he is my son. I would expect the same from anyone else who accepted their responsibilities. But, I will say, I will not restrict my searching for a partner to only women with no children. I only pay attention to the "Want to have kids" if it's a no, that translates to me as "I don't like kids, don't want to have kids, and don't you dare mention kids" I'll respect them for their wishes, but I love my son dearly, and would be more than happy to be a role-model for someone else's child(ren) who has neglected to take responsibility for their own children.

For the parents who leave their children, and specifically for the men, I'm ashamed of them. They set a bad example for women to judge men by. I pay my child support, and I pay my day care charges, when I can. I've taken in a roommate so I can pay my bills, I've shaved off all the luxuries I once could have afforded, so I can have a little extra money every month.

The reasons why I'm single? Well, if you really want to know, feel free to ask. I made my mistakes, she made her mistakes, and there's one simple fact: it takes two to have a relationship work. So either one of us, or both of us made a mistake or error in judgement that caused the relationship to fail.

For the men or women who cheat...shame on you! Have you no self-respect, or respect for anyone else?

Oops, think I got off-topic...sorry, did not intend to...
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 8
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History
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 9/24/2006 7:44:18 PM
Totally agree with Msg #2
Those kind of guys are out there I happen to be one. But not once did I ever go on a date to become somebodies new daddy. It was always an interest in the woman herself, and any relationship with the children forms on it's own over time. Further the only women that got a second date were the ones that were careful about indroducing me to THIER kids, they were showing sensible caution and thought and most assuredly not looking for an insta-daddy cuz they made a mistake and had a child with someone that didn't want to put in the effort of raising a child. Insisting they take responsibility for your and someone elses child is going to send all but the neediest clingiest type running for the hills.
Maybe I sound a bit harsh but your new potential date didn't have anything to do with bring this baby into the world so his responsibility should never be assumed, more people need to be responsible for themselves it seems
 my_stery_man1
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 11
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:04:43 AM
Obviously you are choosing the wrong men and giving them the impression that you dont want anything but something for the "moment" so to speak. Sounds like you are more into trying to find a "daddy" for your kids and to fill a void than something of real quality. I read your article but you didnt mention anything you could bring to the relationship besides 2 kids!
 my_stery_man1
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 12
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 2/7/2009 9:06:38 AM
you need a few english classes yourself!
 cardbri
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 13
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 2/8/2009 6:44:12 PM
Well for me taking care of my kids is an automatic thing. The problem is that most people men and women do not know how to take responsibility for their actions. I think it is a social problem.
 spannerman50
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 14
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History
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 3/2/2009 7:24:13 AM
most men cant cope with the pressure of parenthood at the best of times. I was just the same. Part time dad,fulltime partner,until my wife of 18 years died,leaving me holding all the pieces to the puzzle in 1 hand n not knowing what to do with them. For 2 years lived in a dream that it didnt happen, then i woke up to find that it had and had to start being a dad,mum,doctor,nurse and everything else to do with parenthood that i didnt know anything about.
 SimplyTreasured
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 16
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 3/3/2009 3:02:50 PM
Because they aren't always deadbeat losers when you date them.
After 2 1/2 years together my boyfriend and I got pregnant. He refuses to accept the fact that he's going to become a dad and blames it all on me. In the entire time we've been together he's never been a dead beat....now that he's going to be a dad..he is..
I don't think these women expect other men to raise their kids...but odn't we all want someonet os hare our life with?
 biscuitttt
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 17
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:04:34 PM
Not all daddies are losers, see my profile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 biscuitttt
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 18
Why do most men not want to help in the responsibility of caring for children???
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:19:04 PM
Let me ask this question of the ladies.

Guys see the issues of raising another man's children as not their problem.

How would the ladies like to be 100% compatible with a guy, but the guy had a handicapped child and needed the assistance of the woman to live life fully?

My point being that so few men and women want to raise a child, but are more selfish and prefer to have their fun without consideration for anybody except for themselves. I can say this with with confidence as I just finalized divorce papers on the most passionate and TOTALLY selfish person I have ever known!!
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