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 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 2
Is sex over-rated ?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Sex is over rated I am sure for some and not over rated for others . I would imagine it depends on the person
 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 6
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:01:21 AM
Hey I am almost 50 and sex is a very important part of my life. If anything, I feel it's underrated.

:))
Witchy
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:09:42 AM
>I believe sex is overrated, although it is most certainly a wonderful thing. You can find sex anytime you want

Common held belief of pretty women. Or even average women, that you can find sex anytime you want. At least if you mean with another person, well that's not true for the vast majority of men. On the other hand (either hand is good), if you mean sex by yourself, then it's true for all.

Now then; as mentioned above, if you're having sex regularly and more important, know that you can have sex regularly, you really take it for granted. That usually happens once you're in a relationship with someone. Which many people over 30 are. But as you get older, you realise that you can relieve the sexual tension with masturbation; what you can't relieve is the need for physical contact, affection. You can't do that on your own. You need another person for that, and that's what people usually mean when they mention emotional intimacy; contact that isn't only for sex. It's one prime reason you have many men seriel dating and having one night stands. Our sex drive is usually stronger than the drive for affection; after sex, unless we make a concerted effort, we can easily fall asleep. If we leave early in the morning, and don't stay and 'cuddle' or get whatever is the needed amount of contact to fulfill our need for affection, we feel unfulfilled and repeat the cycle again the next night, because by then our urge for sex takes over and we think that is what we are missing. Also, because it's the macho thing to do. And lots of guys won't admit to the need for affection, because they and their posse think it's too 'girly'.

No, sex is not overrated. It's wonderful. It's the most enjoyable thing there is. But it's an 'activity'. (Affection isn't). If you had to give up activities, the last one you'd give up would probably be sex (if it was available to you, anyway, I'm not talking about elderly bedridden folk who have no chance for it anymore). But no one ever died because they didn't have sex. Now, starvation from affection and human contact (emotional intimacy) can cause all kinds of psychiatric disturbances.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 9
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:19:57 AM

I was watching 20/20 on (abc) and they said that over 50% of women lose interest in sex by the time they are 30 years old and most only do it to please their partner.

Jenny McCarthy (the model) said that she would happily give up sexual intimacy for a lifetime of emotional intimacy anyday.



They were probably lying to some degree.

I mean think about it, someone asks them a question with a camera jammed in their faces. What are the odds you'll get the truth? Jenny McCarthy is a celebrity, one who has tried repeatedly to break into acting, of course it would be in her best interests to get as far away from the Playboy Playmate sexpot image as possible. Celebrities, at least the ones with some common sense, say what's best for their careers, not what they really mean.

Do you think most women would get in front of a camera, knowing it might be broadcast to millions, including their family, friends and coworkers and tell the world that they love sex, it drives them crazy and they can't wait to go home and blow someone? Or that they enjoy sex but they just don't like it with their husbands anymore? Or that if Brad Pitt showed up to wine and dine them, they'd take their panties off faster than you could spit?

Have 20/20 ambush some women out on the street and ask them if looks and money really matter or if it's the person inside that counts. What do you think you will hear? Of course most women will say it's what inside that counts, who wants to look shallow and materialistic on TV? But then what will those same women do later that night? That's right. Pine over some good looking successful guy across the bar from them, while all the guys with all the "insides" get ignored.

Most women want sex just as much as men. But they lose all their leverage and power by admitting that. So they pretend that they don't. I'm sorry to say this, but anyone who takes what a woman, who isn't a nun, will say at face value probably has alot to learn about women in general.
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 11
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:26:58 AM
I rate it a 9.5....and you can dance to it too!
 PlaynWithDummies
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 16
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 10:19:59 AM
What give up sex? I am not outta my mind. NEVER!!!! I love sex too much to ever give it up. shudders at the thought of living the rest of my life without that pleasure
 sxyvirgo
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 19
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 10:31:28 AM
Sex can only be said to be over-rated by those who are satisfied and getting whatever amount it is they need. It's been my experience that people who try to convince themselves that sex is not important (when they're being deprived) will eventually find out otherwise.

Sex is what it is and everyone has a level they NEED to be happy, whether that is something others consider to be high or low.
 sxyvirgo
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 20
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 10:33:52 AM
And btw - I don't think it's normal for women to lose their drive in their 30's - some research says that's when women PEAK! I think it's a temporary thing based on family pressures, work pressures, or a poor relationship.
 PlaynWithDummies
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 21
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 10:37:36 AM
Handyman, most of what you said is very true.

Finally I am hearing from someone else that I am not a freak. Thank GOD!

Over the past 2 years, for some reason sex is on my mind constantly. I wake up thinking about sex, I go to bed thinking about sex, when I am having sex, I am thinking about the next time that I am going to have sex.

I thought that there was something wrong with me. My FB said that I get more sex than most married couples do. Mind you he isnt complaining!!!!

It is just wonderful to hear someone else say that because I am thinking like a teenage boy at this point in my life makes me feel a little more normal. I was beginning to think that I need to go to sexaholic meetings or something.
 JaneStClair
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 23
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 11:27:37 AM
I wish someone had told me 3 years ago when I turned 30 that I was supposed to be losing my interest in sex.

I think, perhaps, around 30 is when the average woman becomes a little more discriminating in choosing partners. It stops being a quantity game and becomes a quality one. I'd rather have fabulous sex these days, then sex just for the sake of fu*king... doesn't mean my drive or my interest has waned in any way.
 JaneStClair
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 26
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 12:28:15 PM

I do't think that it ever was a quantity game for women.....definitely so for guys, but the women around where I live are more stuck up than horny....


Honestly, I think this is a misconception that women are just going to allow you to keep on believing.

I simply know too many women of all age ranges and backgrounds, to believe that for women in general that it was never about the proverbial notch on the bedpost.
 LadyBlaze1
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 27
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 12:42:28 PM
Well, I am 54 and I still enjoy it very much
 lilblondekitten
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 29
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 5:27:12 PM
It is when you've had good sex. It takes time to get to that level of karma sutra. It can get better and better.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 33
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 6:36:36 PM
(OP) At 20 years old I would have probably said that sex was the most important thing in my life but now at 42 I find that all though I still enjoy it, it really doesn't matter that much in the whole scheme of the relationship.

What say you?


I completely disagree. Sex is very important in a relationship and I'm 54.

Many times I've heard that sex is not all that important. I've heard there are so many other things more important than sex. People have said sex makes up 10% or less of a good relationship and, of course, I've just read that "it really doesn't matter that much in the whole scheme of the relationship."

Here's why I don't believe any of that. Check out anyone who said sex is near or at the bottom of the list and watch their reaction when they discover their partner had sex with someone else. It's been documented that the sudden importance placed on sex is enough to cause dishes to fly across a kitchen. Yelling, screaming, lawyers, court rooms, custody battles....that's a lot of "activity" over something of such supposed unimportance.

When someone says sex is not all that important what they are saying is it's not all that important to them whether or not they have sex with "you".
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 34
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 6:52:39 PM
OP .....
I have to say .....it's getting to the point that if you see it on t.v. ....assume it's probably atleast skewed if not an outright falsehood ....the boob tube .
To answer the question ..I think it's "not over-rated" (-: .... with the right person .
 blondein_tokyo
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 35
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 7:43:36 PM

Most women want sex just as much as men. But they lose all their leverage and power by admitting that. So they pretend that they don't. I'm sorry to say this, but anyone who takes what a woman, who isn't a nun, will say at face value probably has alot to learn about women in general.


BRAVO!!

You really hit the nail on the head. There are sooooo many women (and men...) who have been so brainwashed into being SCARED of sex that they won't admit they want it, or they become totally aesexual and loose their sex drive all together!! "Oh, I'll get an std, oh, I'll get pregnant, oh he will leave me...oh..oh..oh!!..cry, cry, panic, panic!!" When all it is, is scaremongering by the religious right. Birth control is widely available; condoms and an insistance on testing can stop the spread of std's, and the reason men critisize promiscuous women (yet cheer on male "studs")is because they are buying into the whole sex-negative culture as well- the madonna/whore complex IS alive and well. And let me tell you, if you didn't know, Europeans and even some Asian countries are LAUGHING at the US because of how incredibly prudish we are about sex, and the way some women (and men) wrap up their sexuality in pretty ribbons and romantic notions totally mystifies me. I personally have never understood the whole "wait for marriage, it's so much better when you are in love, it's something intimate to share only with someone special" speil I hear on these boards everyday.

Sex feels GOOD!! I LOVE sex and have no intention of ever pretending to anyone that I don't. When I don't get it, I miss it like hell and I have even been known to go out looking for a fvck when I'm feeling particularly horny. I see nothing wrong with doing it every chance I get!! Horay for sex!!! glow:





(Which, before i get tons of mail from horny guys, isn't to say I will just fvck anyone. I have standards and am choosy about my partners. So no, I don't want to cyber with you):
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 38
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 7:58:38 PM
~OP~ I saw that also. I found her interview quite interesting. I do believe I feel exactly the same way. I have extended periods of celibacy and have for a long time now. It just seems that even if I am in a relationship ~ it's something I can definitely live without. Often times, I don't even remember the last time I thought about sex. I found that entire show interesting. Women speaking 20,000 words per day and men only 7.000 ~ maybe that is the answer to the lack of sexual interest ~ we talk so much more that we are too tired to worry about sex. HA !!
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 43
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 8:30:12 PM

Is sex over-rated?


No.....but some of the people I've had it with were.
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 47
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:10:41 PM
Sex is a completely unsatisfying activity


Actually, sex with one that you love can be very satisfying

The word "sex" in itself does not automatically differentiate between emotional or un-emotional relations.

If a man says "My wife and I enjoy a fantastic sex-life" does that mean its unsatisfying?
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 50
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:21:30 PM
I'm just not into semantics.

I suppose that was the point of my response.
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 53
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/1/2006 9:45:33 PM
Thorn explained it better then I did.

Its not based on my experience. Its based on the actual definition of the word, and not the interpretation of it. Thats what I meant by semantics

My point I guess is that if a person says they love sex, it does not automatically mean that its casual sex or un-emotional sex or a one night stand or that they are not giving their whole being.

And its not about seperating "sex" from "emotional intimacy"

Its about the definition of the word "sex" and how people choose to use it to support their point

And with that, stick a fork in me and turn me over.....I'm done.

I wish I could say I was going to go enjoy some sexmaking. But I'm actually just going to pay some bills


 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 62
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/2/2006 5:42:37 AM
I believe sex is not only underrated but ridiculed and bad-mouthed, as well. The only time it's acceptable to talk about/discuss sex is when it's done in a negative manner.

It's quite acceptable to discuss AIDS and other STDs. Mention that all advertizing uses sexual innuendos and everyone will nod and agree and get in the discussion. Mention a celebrity was dressed in a sleazy, sexy fashion and a whole room full of people will join in. Talk about teenagers, unwanted pregnancies and the evils of sex and 100 people will rush to your side.

Then say something like "My wife and I had great sex last night." and watch people's reaction. Or "As soon as I finish work I'm rushing home so my hsband and I can have sex."

In fact, our society is so fu**ed up that if someone makes numerous comments extolling the virtues of sex it can be construed as harassment while another can ramble on and on about the evils of sex and be well liked for their opinon.

For example, if one were to say to a co-worker of the opposite sex, "I absolutely love sex. I went to a club and saw some really sexy people. I get really turned on by looking at sexy dressed members of the opposite sex. How do you feel about that?" you just might find yourself in the boss's office getting a warning.

Then turn the discussion around with someone else and say you find the world too permissive. Tell them you went to a club and saw some trashily dressed patrons. Tell them you're appalled and repulsed by such lewd dress and behavior and sexual overtones and ask them how they feel about that.

Take note of the two reactions.

This is why when I hear people say sex will fall into place when a relationship takes off, that sexual compatibility is not an issue to worry about, I do not believe it. Far too many people have a hang up about sex.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 68
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Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/2/2006 10:01:51 AM
(Msg 83) Rape is sex......Sexual abuse is sex.....pedophilia/child abuse is sex......we could go on about a number of perversions that are sex. The fact that the poster differentiated between "just sex" and "making love" makes sense to me.


I completely agree.


(Msg 82) The only point I was making was the actions itself is the same (sex is sex), how intense or how good it is, depends on a variety of different things, emotions obviously being way up there, but the action is still the same.



(Msg 86) Rape is NOT sex, neither is Abuse of any kind be it pedophila or otherwise. Those are examples of extreme VIOLENCE, not sex. The fact that a person uses their "reproductive organs" as a weapon in the assault in no way shape or form makes it sex.


Who's talking semantics here? Sex is sex. You said, "...the actions itself is the same (sex is sex),..." The action, sexual intercourse, is the same regardless of "how intense or how good it is". This time Squirrly got you in the cage.
 sweet-cute-guy
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 90
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:55:09 PM
I dont think sex is over rated
 MissKittyNip
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 91
Is sex over-rated ?
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:56:56 PM
PERSONALLY, I don't think it's over-rated.. IF I were in a relationship, I definitely couldn't go without it. But like most everyone said.. it depends on the person. I've also found that sexual desire fluctuates from year to year.. 3 years ago, I could (and did) live without sex (for over 2 years), but now.. I guess I got my groove back (lol) and I couldn't see goin' without it. :)
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