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 jerryspringer
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1
Why do men copy/paste Page 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
The question I hear from women on here is "why do men copy/paste the same message to multiple women". Here's the answer: When there are tons more men than woman, and women read/delete emails without replying, men send out mass messages in hopes of getting a few replies.
 charlie_girl
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 2
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 2:15:47 AM
belgarion-- great post.
ur my valentine
 Bill_200
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 3
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 10:09:54 AM
IN DEFENCE OF CUT-AND-PASTE

(cross posted from another thread where I originally wrote this)

You girls need some perspective. Try creating a fake men's profile and getting attention from women. The reality is, it's really difficult. Men have to initiate contact (if men didn't, there would be a whole bunch of people signed up on this site, but nobody would be actually connecting). Then consider that men, on average, probably receive about 1% response rate to emails they send out. If women in general can't even be bothered to respond, why should men carefully construct 100 individual emails just to get one response.

(Side note - please don't post to tell me that YOU respond to every email you get. While this might be true, I'm talking about women on this site IN GENERAL.)

So what's the answer to this conundrum? I have a carefully worded generic email that I send to select women that look intesting to me. It's written mostly about me, and since I don't change from day to day, it's always accurate. It also asks some generic questions in hopes that it will initiate a dialogue. Yes, it is a cut-and-paste email and I'm not ashamed of it. It's respectful, interesting and funny, and it nets me about 30% response - if it works, why fix it? From there, my second email is completely original - based on whatever response I get, and converstation can flow naturally from there.

Face it - this site is a numbers game, with the numbers stacked heavily in favour of the women. It's all fine and dandy that you sit behind your computers, collect messages from men to feed your cravings for attention, and then snicker amongst each other that some of us cut-and-paste messages. As I said at the top, put yourself in our shoes.
 Bill_200
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 4
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:26:47 AM
@ sahaja - did you even read what I wrote???
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 5
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 2:46:14 PM
That's WHY so many women read/delete, we can spot a mass emailer a mile away. Especially those I get that say I loved your profile, would like to meet when my profile says I'm involved. Yeah, they read it, alright....sheesh! Those kind of emails are a waste of time.
 akula
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 6
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 3:21:23 PM
I dont copy or paste but i do send out alot of emails. and yes its a numbers game for guys.why? well ive got 22 pages of contacts and only two or thee responded .and only for two or three messages.now the women im really intrested in i will make longer emails for. but not too long.a lot of women complain about dirty or rude emails .and i understand why you would delet them.but hows "hi im such and such i like your profile. and comment on something in her profile.if she has anything in her profile. would you care to chat?"so bad?i mean if you sent even two or thee emails you can find out a lot about a person.or ladys you can delet the messages and then go start another thead about how you cant find a guy.lol
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 7
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 3:30:40 PM
"It's all fine and dandy that you sit behind your computers, collect messages from men to feed your cravings for attention," Bitter, yeah...maybe it's the women you're writing to OP. If you're craving the attention whores, then you're feeding their need, so don't gripe about it. It's time to check your picker, you're the one picking them out, maybe that's what you like.
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 8
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 6:16:14 PM
--THE HOPELESS DEFENCE: The Defence of the average guy on POF--

Guys, it's very difficult for women to imagine what it is like to be a decent guy on this site. Some of the women here, no offence, really don't have the right perspective.

Imagine you are a guy. This is a little more difficult than it first appears, so, let me tell you a story of what normally happens when I write a message:

I read the person's profile to get a feel - if I sense a spark, I glance some deal-breaking facts: what city? children? available? Then I read it again. If there's nothing in the profile that inspires me to write her, I'll add her to my favorites to do it another day. To be honest, it is difficult to be inspired sometimes because on many occasions I might think a person is cute, but they didn't say anything or just said "I'll fill this later" so I just add her and continue clicking around. Other days I'll actually do an advance search and work through the list.

If I really feel like I have somthing to say I'll spend maybe 15- 20 minutes drafting up a message, but I might not send it till I think it actually has a chance of catching a person's attention - I hate feeling I've "wasted" my chance. They usually weigh in at about 300+ words - depending on how much the other person said in their profile. I usually have more to say, but I'm afraid of looking... I dunno, chatty?

Then I send it out and check in on it later that day. Here are some approximate stats:

1/3 - unread deleted
1/3 - read deleted
1/3 - unread (and never will be)

Of the "read deleted" ones, about 2/3 of them are delted immediately, while the other third kinda hang in pergatory forever.

You don't want to know how many messages I've sent over my time at POV.

I can COUNT the number of responses I've had on one hand - and none of them were ever really substantial. I've had two with 3 or 4 lines in them, and the rest were literally one liners. All of them stopped messaging after just a few friendly messages - usually 250 words from me, and one or two lines from them.

Now to those women out there that say they refuse to cut and paste, I do understand your view completely. I don't read spam, so why should you? If I were a woman, I'd only want to read real messages from guys that actually spent time on my profile, not some guy that sent the same post to 10 different girls.

But if you were a guy who has experiences like this, would you continue to write geniune messages to each and every person you were interested in?

Of course you answer, "why yes." Then I ask, would you continue to do that, if after a number of years you get no responses? - maybe you would. And honestly, I do.

And for those of you that just thought, "well only an idiot would keep trying after a month...." --- that's EXACTLY what tempts guys into cutting and pasting.

In defence of the guys out there that cut and paste, if you're a guy that doesn't tend to attract responses, your odds of getting a response are probably less than 1/100 (that equals 1 response every 16 hours, at 10 minutes a letter). Now, actually I'd be unbelievably happy thinking that in about 50 hours of letter writing, I'll maybe get one response. For me, that's not true.

But remember how it'd be nice to write to only those you are truly interested in? If you found one of those individuals every other day, say, it would take you almost a year - just to get a response - that's just a response, not an actual conversation.

So guys, on average, how many responses out of 10 become actual dates? - I honestly don't know - tell us!

Now, for all teh women out there, if you were a guy, would you follow your own advice and spend 10 minutes or more on every profile you were interested in? I have, and I will admit that it's very tough on a guy knowing that every letter that you've spent time writing will never result in anything - or even be read.

It's not a matter of laziness at all (not for all guys, I mean) but practicality - unless you think spending a few years writing dilligently for a few responses should be expected of us.

And if any of you think I'm exaggerating, let's see if any guys on here have experienced the same?
 Boltflight
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 9
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 7:01:31 PM
I`v seen many woman do this also.It`s not just men.Personaly I have never done it.
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 10
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 9:40:22 PM
Why thank you, Irish -- (I think, haha)

I'm usually the one bashing the guy's point of view, but on this topic, I think it's difficult to see what's going on for some women.

And you've revealed one of the catch 22's of it as well - that is, if you write too many messages, it's a turn off. (for the record, I've only ever written 5 messages ).

The story that some women (not all by far) like to tell us is that the ideal, decent guy, joins a site like this for fun, reads a few profiles he feels a connection with and sends out a few messages. A week or so later he gets a few responses and out of those he finds someone he really clicks with, they eventually meet... it's a great image. I have no doubt that this is the experience of many women on here.

I don't blame women for wondering why guys would even consider writing more than a few messages, or why most guys don't just quit if they get no responses in a few weeks and a dozen messages.

Perhaps that's a good point comming from their end? If it doesn't come in that ideal, spontaneous, unstrategic way, maybe it's simply not your place to find it here?

Another good point is that romance shouldn't involve a complex contemplation of percentages and strategies - that's the kind of thing you'd expect from a hockey analyst, not from someone looking to find a date.
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 11
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 10:33:50 PM
Oh I don't doubt that it really is that way for some guys. Glad to hear it.

But for others it's really really not haha. I think there are fewer of those that are as fortunate as you than there are that have a more difficult time. And I don't believe in all the cases it's because they aren't casual about it, though this is indeed a requirement.

Of course I don't actually have any stats - just a rough idea having seen what some guys say. The sucess rate could really be alot higher than I think. I could very well be getting a false impression. But there definately are a large number of guys that rarely get a response, despite uncontrived, probably very good, honest, messages -whether sparingly or a few every day. And it seems that a few people don't believe this could possibly be the case or at least not for very long.
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 12
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:58:30 PM
It's probably easier to give the shaft to someone here than in a bar

I agree with Sahaja completely. I don't think women should be criticized at all for not replying - or for sending back jsut a few e-mails and then trailing off. That's not something that the women of this site should ever be faulted with.

Imagine being a woman and getting, what, 12 messages or more a day? (and that's probably just a woman that shows absolutely no skin hehe.)

Who has the time to even read over a dozen new profiles with their messages every day, and respond to them? Especially if they aren't even interested in them?

But that just goes to explain why some men cut and paste - it was never a criticism of women, nor was it intended to be. It just explains the posted question, ie why men cut and paste. It's in no way the women's fault.

The thing is, many don't seem to understand why any reasonable man would be driven to do it. That's what I'm trying to relate - sometimes the tendancy to cut and paste comes from realizing how slim a chance it is that contact will ever be made, so the temptation is to send out more rather than contemplating waiting months or years for a response.

haha - The mentality can get to be like sending signals into space - those aliens might not even be there to hear it, so let's just shoot the signals everywhere and hope for a message back for evidence of life first. (okay, now THAT's an exaggeration, but I'm sure a few can relate lmao!)

 TXMN
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 13
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 12:31:15 AM
Because it's like Sex - Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste until orgasm!!!!

Couldn't resist that one!!!!



 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 14
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 3:47:27 AM
well, funny enough it did happen to me and my friend too. The same day with a fractions of second in time difference. Oh yeah, my friend has blond hair too . So, after an initial suprise of "originality", two identical replies were sent back from two different sources but to one recipient. Needless to say, fish disappeared .... perhaps in deeper murky waters.
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 15
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:11:53 AM
I have never copy/pasted before. Truth is, I don't know how! I'm not very literate on the computer yet. I think that would be an insult to my friends to copy/paste messages to them. They are worth my time and effort, and deserve my best.
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 16
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 6:45:55 AM
thanks belladrama. Your assistance is appreciated. I'll try it out.
 bbw6ft2fl
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 17
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:06:42 AM
well Im not sure about the whole copy paste thing, sometimes they are funny but I generally dont respond because I figure they sent out so many and dont care who they are sending them too. But this is what is up under the sent messages here on plenty of fish , guess they are trying to make everyone feel better about noone responding to them

Hey if you see unread deleted don't be disappointed, some users (.01%) get 100 new emails a day if they have a great picture up. People like that don't have time to read your message even if they wanted to.

and yeah i copy pasted it sue me We just arent good enough for them thats all
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 18
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:33:23 AM
"Sometimes its too much work to type up new messages all the time." Is this the motto of the copy/paste crowd? Should be! Too much WORK? I'll try to restrain my response, but obviously it's not something wanted enough to expend a modicum of individual effort. If I could wave my magic wand, I'd have all the mass emailers get a response from all 20 or 25 they're copy/pasting to, just for one day. See how they handle that!! It's obvious from the responses who's doing the c/p, and that they're NOT expecting much if any of a response. Seems like an all around waste of time. Why bother?
I hope greymatter doesn't mind me saying, but we've exchanged some emails on a friendly basis and I think he's a very intelligent and sincere young man. Got his act totally together.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 19
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:56:24 AM
eastside Well there are times I've done a mass email....*blush* Over the holidays, I like to write my favs and wish them a happy holiday. Yeah, the shame!!
 2findU
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 20
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 11:24:09 AM
I never copy/pasted to any women. I can't say anything for what other men do.
 TXMN
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 21
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 1:34:29 PM
I thought I answered this?

Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste Copy/Paste
 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 22
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 2:37:41 PM
I like being on the defence, so here goes (even though I personally don't cut an paste).

The general message on this thread is that if you son't cut and paste, you write more genuine letters and hence, get better or more responses.

But like I said in an earlier post, for some guys, they are driven to cut an paste because the genuine letters don't get read anyway, and after awhile of trying different writing styles, etc with no sucess, they are tempted to "play the numbers."

My question to the women was, as said above, would you not be tempted to do the same - if repeated individualized letters fail over a large period of time?
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 23
Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 3:58:44 PM
even at Canadian Thanksgiving, I sent individual messages to each of the people on my favs list that live in Canada. They deserve my effort. I can't imagine C&P to them.

By the way....when is American Thanksgiving?
 eon001
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 24
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:01:35 PM
lol SoulReaver, I hear what your saying.
Ladies if your really honest with yourselve's, it's all about your egos. You just want a personal heartfelt email just so you can feel special. If the guy looks like shrek (or me :P) You wont bother replying.

Question to the ladies: If a guy sent you what you thought was a generic email, but he had a good profile, and looked like a greek god, or your ideal match at least, would you still ignore him?
 marshlyn
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 25
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Why do men copy/paste
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:29:19 PM
HEY JERRY,
Where are those "Tons of a lot more men" than woman?
they sure aren't in my area..
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