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Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 1
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Read/DeletedPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I see women on here all the time complaining about all the nasty and obscene messages they get and from what I have seen of the e-mails received by some women that I know, I can understand. What I don't understand is when you send a decent message to someone which probably includes a compliment, and you receive no reply. You go into your sent messages file and you see "Read/Deleted". The people don't even have the decency to e-mail back and say thanks, no thanks, not interested, kiss my a$$ or anything. Whenever anyone sends me a message, I always, at first, politely respond, no matter what the content of their original message. Has anyone else experienced the same phenomenom and how do you feel about it?
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 2
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:51:16 AM
Yes I've experienced the same thing. For the life of me I can't understand why they
can't give you one minute of their time and send a reply whether it's good or bad news. At least have some common courtesy and respect for the person who sent the message.
And as shy as I am ( I rarely send messages first ) and giving the nerve it took me to send the message in the first place just adds to the stress of no reply.
Some say it's because they get so many e-mails on a daily basis that they can't possibly reply to every one they get. I find that hard to beleive. But I keep smiling and move on..and say to myself "it's their loss "! What else can ya do LOL
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 3
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:01:13 PM
Everyone is on this site for different reasons. To be honest, I very hardly respond to any one that emails me. Only exceptions, the person actually sent me more than a few words in the email and told me why he emailed me, the person actually seemed like someone I could attracted too..which I admit..its hard to get my attention online, or if the person is very persistant and demands me to write after two or three times hes emailed me.

Now....almost all the emails I recieve, generally are one to ten words. Nothing at all in them makes me want to write back. The way I view it..right or wrong...if I dont respond, than, I am not interested. There were a few times, I took people like you in consideration and emailed them back with a polite, no I am not interested..only to receive a reply with WHY? Well....there are several reasons that I may not be interested. Usually because I just cant get that interested in a person online....also...I may not be in the right frame mind to be meeting new people. So why do I have a profile up? Cause you just never know..and its my right to do so. I would rather have no msg from someone than someone saying in black and white that they dont want to get to know me.

Ok....jeesh I am talkative today.
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 4
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Posted: 10/26/2006 12:44:11 PM
Sorry....just my opinion......but I think if you're not interested, you shouldn't respond.....Why would I want to get an email that says "Sorry, not interested", which means "Sorry, you ugly bast***, you is one ugly dog faced critter. Lol!! This way, when you get an email, you know she's interested!!
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 5
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:24:17 PM
I always try to respond, unless something in the email or on the individual's profile is offensive or it's just a one line request for my MSN info without anything else in the email. Mind you, I'm sometimes slow to respond, because when I pop in these days, it's usually to check for / respond to email from someone I know or have already met and am getting to know.

I haven't been courageous enough to email someone first yet while I've been here, so I the way I look at it, anyone who takes the time to say hello and to tell me a bit about himself at the very least deserves a response to his initial email, even if I'm not interested.
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 6
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:24:56 PM
I respond to every email I get. I think its rude when they can't even take the time. Whats the matter with making friends with them if you don't feel an attraction to them.

Of all the people I have only had one guy actually respond when not interested. The others just read/delete.

Then there are the ones you are emailing back and forth with and chatting who just suddenly stop writing or talking... Some people just needs to have manners

How hard is it to say I have suddenly met someone else so I am no longer interested in getting to know you that way?
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 7
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:33:11 PM
It has happened to me a few times, sending a message and then read READ/DELETED. I don't really take offence to that since it is their right to respond or not. For myself, I will always respond to someone who took the time to read my profile and send me a one liner to introduce themselves...unless the email says things that sensorship prevents me from writing here! I think it is just a polite way to do things. It's like when someone approaches you and says hello. You say hello back. To continue the conversation then rests on your shoulder.
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 8
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:41:27 PM
Bored don’t take it personally some women, not all though, get a lot of emails from guys, so it’s impossible to email everyone back. Try limiting you emails to people who are on fewer favorites list if you’re looking for replies it’s an indicator of how busy they might be. If they’re on 40 or more that tells me they’re pretty busy or too lazy to clear them off.

I’d just move on.
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 9
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:41:31 PM
Whether its read/deleted or unread/deleted, either way its a good indication they aren't interested.

One thing to bare in mind is that the women in general get a lot of PoF mail, compared to the men. Most are, however, horndogs looking for sex, so generally the women get used to reading and deleting. For the legitimately decent PoF Mail messages, it can seem insulting but really.. don't take it personally. The women in general get so much mail, it can be a real chore going through and having to answer to all of them. They'd have to resort to cutting and pasting, and if that is the case, that's just as impernsonal as read/delete.

Whether its your profile, your message or their own availablity, they simply aren't interested. Move on to the next.
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 10
Posted: 10/26/2006 3:06:55 PM
I will delete a message without replying when the person has in his profile that they are looking for "intimiate encouters" because otherwise, that will prevent me to message others that will have in their profiles "Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex"...
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 11
Posted: 10/26/2006 3:13:02 PM
No, that won't count against you if you "receive" a message that has intimate encounters. It only counts against you if you initiated the contact with someone that has intimate encounters. So effectively, you could reply to it and still not have it count against you. Once contact is made you can actually have a dialogue and still not have it count against you.
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 12
Posted: 10/26/2006 3:57:22 PM

No, that won't count against you if you "receive" a message that has intimate encounters. It only counts against you if you initiated the contact with someone that has intimate encounters.

That's good... Because I wouldn't want to reply to a message and then be blocked from other potentials because of a reply to someone else just to be polite....
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 13
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:48:07 PM
I agree with Sweet n Passioante 100 percent,,she said it all for me,,,if I do not reply,,,then I am not interested,,,plain and simple,,,,it takes a lot to get my attention too. I am busy, have a very active life and come on here for a quick look, mostly at the forums,,lol,,,and off I go...
I too, in the past have responded with a thanks but not thanks and have gotten on more than one occassion a very nasty comeback,,,it is very rare that I have found anyone on here that has peaked my interest so far but who knows down the road.
 Tennessee Jed
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 14
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:56:34 PM
I deleted 2 from one person tonight and i didn't even bother to read the emails. I recognized the name and their main profile picture jumped to mind. I'm sorry but if someone ...let's say has a picture of them squatting on a soccer ball in their i want to know what they have to say??
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 15
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:04:45 PM
I read delete for various reasons...the biggest reason being that this person did not take the time to read the entire profile and is going on photos alone...if they cant take 30 seconds to read...why should I find a polite way to tell them...hey Im not intrested in someone that cant understand what Im saying in plain black and white....what the heck would a relationship be like...sometimes you do have too much mail, or the email is one word like Hey...ah ha intresting conversationalist...or Im just not intrested... I'll have to agree it may just be a mood at the moment also...sometimes I will go through the contacts, and check to see if I didnt pay attention cause of a bad mood...
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 16
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Posted: 10/26/2006 6:58:05 PM
Yea don't take it personally. If someone isn't interested it's probably best they didn't waste your time leading you on. It might be harsh but I don't see it as dishonest.

Personally I would message anyone back and say I'm only interested in friendship. However I could see it being a problem if I got a lot of emails a day.

You might get a better response rate if you put up a picture of yourself. Things like developing a profile and writing meaningful messages also increase your odds. No matter how well you do though remember not all women will be interested in you - just as you're probably not interested in all types of women.
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 17
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:21:06 PM
Personally, I have a couple of things that, while I don't ask for it in my profile, are my own little, personal requirements to catch my attention. If they don't meet a couple of criteria, then their e-mail will generally be deleted.

1) Any kind of communication using "u r" or any sort of ridiculous short cutting. It's lazy and as a writer and English major, it's a major pet peeve.

2) Super-short e-mails. The "your profile is really cool" or "your cat is awesome!" are nice compliments but they give me nothing to work with for a reply.

Believe me, I get a lot of Read/Deleted responses from women. I'm not going to play victim and cry about it. I'll move on. If I could figure out the so called "secret" behind why someone just reads and deletes, I'd probably have more responses.
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 18
Posted: 10/27/2006 12:41:44 AM
It really depends on what is in the email that i get that decides if i will reply or not. If its something stupid like "can i get between you two girls" then i don't reply. Yes, i know i get alot of those because of the main display pic but come on, can't they be origional? When i get some mail that i can tell someone has ACTUALLY read my profile i respond even if i am not interested in anything just like to be polite as they have taken the time to see a bit about who i am and what i am looking for.
Joined: 5/31/2005
Msg: 19
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:31:16 AM
I have read most of the posts on this subject and would like to offer my 2 cents worth. I realize that everyone is busy, however if someone has taken the time to write a reasonable email, they deserve a reasonable response, even just saying "thanks but no thanks". That being said, it takes a reasonable email to get that response. If someone is so lazy as to to just send a 5 word email to someone; or if the email is in poor taste, then No, they dont deserve a response. Otherwise ladies, send a response. Its only polite. If you are getting too many emails, then tighten your filtering criteria so you wont get as many.
 pei guy
Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 20
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:42:57 AM
When I send a message to someone, I try to make a point in talking about things in their profile that I liked, have in common, etc. Instead of saying "Hey, give me a shout sometime". When you take the time to talk about them and show them you're interested in them, it helps. In theory anyway....
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 21
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:48:53 AM
yep thats all we are asking for....if you talk about something that we have in our profile, it show that you actually read it...if you have something in common thats great we are more likely to respond even if it is just,,sorry but...but when people email you when its something that you specifically said you were not intrested in and complain that you are rude...well they are stupid...if you want me to be nicer please try to be smarter...If you start off with Hey Sexy...umm probably not going to respond...maybe a pet peeve for me...
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 22
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:49:34 AM
LOL....I have to laugh because the posts here are definitely longer than any email I have ever read or very very sad.....Most don't tell me I am rude....most tell me they think I have missed my meds or something.....I so don't understand that....its three green pills and then two yellow....its been that way for years and years...See my Rice Crispies tell me every morning...That way I don't forget.....Oh concept....maybe its the Russians and that stuff they put in the chickens....or maybe its because of cow mutilations.....or Crop Circles....Thats it....Read/Delete phenomenum correlates with the appearance of crop circles....
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 23
Posted: 11/10/2006 8:22:03 AM
Hey read/deleted is just a subtle way the girl say's "I suck and arent worth your time man, find a girl better then me" I get the message of course
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 24
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:42:03 AM
I don't care how you look or how much of a horndog u turn out to be; I'm just so darn polite that I send a courteous or silly reply to each and every email I get.

Damn it's fun being weird.

Joined: 1/7/2005
Msg: 25
Posted: 11/10/2006 10:59:27 AM
I generally dont reply to guys with any sort of variation of this in their profile:

Shrek-type, submissive, male trucker looking for females for coffee and chat now and then.I have a deep appreciation for larger ladies..... real women. I live in Ontario but travel to Dieppe every week. Not looking for serious, committed relationship as I am already in one.... just a friend to chat with over coffee.

To me.. it just screams "looking to cheat" (hmm.. maybe that should be a category on here!).. or else he wouldnt put that hes submissive or prefers the larger ladies.

Short messages dont get replys,
Cut and Paste messages dont get replys (and yes guys, we can tell when we get one)
Ones where they clearly havent read my profile go unreplied,
Messages from the same user time after time after saying "not interested" get deleted.
Interesting ones where they took the time to read and think of something creative get replies.

Hmm.. but I guess none of this really matters since Im not looking for anyone (very happily coupled up!) and have my profile hidden - no new people messaging me.

Show ALL Forums  > New Brunswick  > Read/Deleted