|Read/DeletedPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3)|
|I always try to respond, unless something in the email or on the individual's profile is offensive or it's just a one line request for my MSN info without anything else in the email. Mind you, I'm sometimes slow to respond, because when I pop in these days, it's usually to check for / respond to email from someone I know or have already met and am getting to know. |
I haven't been courageous enough to email someone first yet while I've been here, so I the way I look at it, anyone who takes the time to say hello and to tell me a bit about himself at the very least deserves a response to his initial email, even if I'm not interested.
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:24:56 PM
|I respond to every email I get. I think its rude when they can't even take the time. Whats the matter with making friends with them if you don't feel an attraction to them.|
Of all the people I have only had one guy actually respond when not interested. The others just read/delete.
Then there are the ones you are emailing back and forth with and chatting who just suddenly stop writing or talking... Some people just needs to have manners
How hard is it to say I have suddenly met someone else so I am no longer interested in getting to know you that way?
Posted: 10/26/2006 2:33:11 PM
|It has happened to me a few times, sending a message and then read READ/DELETED. I don't really take offence to that since it is their right to respond or not. For myself, I will always respond to someone who took the time to read my profile and send me a one liner to introduce themselves...unless the email says things that sensorship prevents me from writing here! I think it is just a polite way to do things. It's like when someone approaches you and says hello. You say hello back. To continue the conversation then rests on your shoulder.|
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:48:07 PM
|I agree with Sweet n Passioante 100 percent,,she said it all for me,,,if I do not reply,,,then I am not interested,,,plain and simple,,,,it takes a lot to get my attention too. I am busy, have a very active life and come on here for a quick look, mostly at the forums,,lol,,,and off I go...|
I too, in the past have responded with a thanks but not thanks and have gotten on more than one occassion a very nasty comeback,,,it is very rare that I have found anyone on here that has peaked my interest so far but who knows down the road.
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:04:45 PM
|I read delete for various reasons...the biggest reason being that this person did not take the time to read the entire profile and is going on photos alone...if they cant take 30 seconds to read...why should I find a polite way to tell them...hey Im not intrested in someone that cant understand what Im saying in plain black and white....what the heck would a relationship be like...sometimes you do have too much mail, or the email is one word like Hey...ah ha intresting conversationalist...or Im just not intrested... I'll have to agree it may just be a mood at the moment also...sometimes I will go through the contacts, and check to see if I didnt pay attention cause of a bad mood...|
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:48:53 AM
|yep thats all we are asking for....if you talk about something that we have in our profile, it show that you actually read it...if you have something in common thats great we are more likely to respond even if it is just,,sorry but...but when people email you when its something that you specifically said you were not intrested in and complain that you are rude...well they are stupid...if you want me to be nicer please try to be smarter...If you start off with Hey Sexy...umm probably not going to respond...maybe a pet peeve for me...|
Posted: 11/10/2006 8:22:03 AM
|Hey read/deleted is just a subtle way the girl say's "I suck and arent worth your time man, find a girl better then me" I get the message of course |
Posted: 11/10/2006 9:42:03 AM
|I don't care how you look or how much of a horndog u turn out to be; I'm just so darn polite that I send a courteous or silly reply to each and every email I get.|
Damn it's fun being weird.
Posted: 11/10/2006 11:10:11 AM
|Why don't short messages get replies? Your just sending an ice-breaker saying hello asking about them. People often don't have the time to send a long e-mail that might not be responded to, if it's short at least you havent wasted more then a minute on a first e-mail. Longer as the interaction goes on.|
Posted: 11/10/2006 1:11:23 PM
|I get that alot send a messege and get no response,i do the same,hense the reason for it being online you get that option.face to face you have to bs your way throught it.But what I do agree wiht is that you send out a nice messege and get no response,But lets face it alot of women on here have been played form guys,not meaning us in general,so they turn to the online situation where they have control on who they want to chat with or not,alot of guys are pigs,women also.I guess what im getting at is online is much better to walk away and not feel bad for disapointing someone and if they chose not to respond well shit its there loss not mine.I am a great person I know that and its all that matters,there is someoone for everyone.its just when the time comes.I am having much more fun here on the forums rather then chatting and getting know people,I get to know them better here,(on the forums) see there true attitude ywards diffrent situations and get to chat with everybody..|
Posted: 11/12/2006 7:26:28 AM
|I recently had the strangest experience... had a guy msg me with just his sex, age, location, and marital status. So I wrote back to say hi, I could read that in his profile, but maybe he should fill out his profile a bit more because that is what makes people msg others in the first place, why doesn't he tell me a bit about himself? So he replies with his s/a/l/ and marital status again.|
I reply, and this time I kind of scold him, asking just what he's interested in, since we aren't communicating in any way, and it didn't look like it was going to start, and he would really have to write SOMETHING. So I get one more email back from him with one line about "please don't judge me" and he deletes his account. Weird.
Posted: 11/18/2006 5:32:09 PM
|Tinkerbella, I know that "Shrek type trucker," personally and he is a perfect gentleman and NOT looking for an affair. He is one of the sweetest guys you ever want to meet and he is in a commited relationship. He doesn't want to get into anyones pants , he is just looking for friends to share coffee with when away from home. |
He is also a great source of strength to me when I needed a friend the most . when my boyfriend dumped me because he thought I had breast cancer. That Shrek type man gave me encouragement and the best advice in the world to including coming back on POF.
It is not nice to judge a person because of their self description or what you think their intent is.
So many of us make assumptions of people because we don't take the time to get to really know someone.
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:04:17 PM
|Thanks Bryan, I am happy you and Rose are ahead of the game. You Know, I really appreciate you very much and being there when I was scared out of my wits and I really don't know what I would do without you as a friend. I am falling a little behind on Christmas ...lol...burning candles at both ends....but you are still in my heart and Hopefully we'll get together soon.|
Wishing you and Rose the merriest and Happiest Christmas ever and the New Year the best ever to date.
Love and hugs and kisses.
Posted: 12/13/2006 11:54:07 AM
|Well put Fauz, |
Best answer yet, and in so few words too.... lol
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:14:30 PM
|Ya when a woman reads your message and deletes it not replying it says most times "You do not look good enough" or "You are ugly so beat it not interested"|
Funny how I never send a perverted message and yet it gets read/deleted 90% of the time. Instead of telling a guy why she is not interested in talking to him, I mean if you take the time to read the message why not reply? I know no answer is the best reply. Hint hint
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:00:28 AM
|There are likely a great number of people out there using this and other dating sites for a very good reason, that the "electronic barrier" in place, protects them and gives them the most likely avenue to meet someone. As thru other avenues, clubs, social events or other situations, etc... they may not appear approachable or have an adversity to approaching someone else for fear of rejection. For myself, if someone is making a polite attempt to reach out in here, regardless of whether I'm interested or not, an email thanking them and informing them that your not interested for one reason or another is the human thing to do.|
Posted: 12/14/2006 12:14:03 PM
|Well for goodness sakes boys, if I read it and delete it without a reply, just count your lucky stars, would ya ? Many I do reply to I get BLOCKED when I try to write back again ... WTF???? That is rich!|
Posted: 12/14/2006 3:09:04 PM
|"Ok, picture this. A guy sees a woman, wants to meet her. He walks over to her and says "Hi." She turns and walks away without a word. Sure it's efficient, and gets her point across, but it would be ludicrous to claim that it isn't rude."|
I have to admit that I didn't see it that way before, but you are right Mr.Mxyzptlk. It is rude. It does happen in the "real" world, though, so why wouldn't it happen here. There is not a whole lot of difference between meeting someone in here or meeting them out there. People might have more courage contacting someone here because they can hide behind the computer screen. In here they say "delete", out there they say "no". To be honest, I have never asked someone for a date outside of POF. I wouldn't have the courage. lol.
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:10:47 PM
I said I agreed with you about it being rude. I don't know about women, but I know at least one man who went up to a woman and she looked at him as if he was a piece of sh...t, stuck her nose in the air and walked away. So, if it happened to one man, it must happen to others. Maybe they should have a "delete,thank you" button. lol. I've heard women say "no" when someone asked them to dance. They could have said "no, thank you".
Posted: 12/14/2006 4:56:14 PM
|many times I have been snubbed approaching women. Many times I did it just to show those who would say I dare you to go talk to her. And many times I did it just to entertain those who would be saying "She keeps looking over you should just go over there and talk to her" Meanwhile she was not even looking at me.|
Many times women would say "I think your friend over there is hot, introduce me" So I would. I don't know ho amny times I set my friends up at bars by breaking the ice for them because they didn't have enough courage to approach them.
Now you would think on here women would not be so rude. Especially when you send a message not being rude and the ultimate reason why she read deleted or undread/deleted is because she didn't think you were good looking.
That would be the number one reason.
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:40:00 PM
|@The Champ Is Here|
I don't know if you could say the reason that they read/deleted or unread/deleted was because they didn't think you were good looking. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your picture. I can't say anything about the read/deleted but they wouldn't see your picture with unread/deleted, would they? So, it may just come down to they're just being rude. I have to read my e-mails because I'm too curious to see who they are and what they have to say. I got to get a life. lol
You seem like the male counterpart of me when I was younger. My friends wanted to meet a guy but they were too shy, so I would talk to him and then introduce them. They always had boyfriends and I had just boy friends. lol. That's the story of my life. When I got older, guys would come up and talk to me. A girl friend would be interested in him, and I would just back off. Gee, I wonder why I'm alone now,DUH, and one of the girls and the one of the guys are married,just not to each other. lol.
Posted: 12/14/2006 6:43:18 PM
|My personal opinion is that I'd rather someone delete my message and not reply to me so I could not bother wasting my time. It would strongly indicate to me that they had qualities that I was not interested in at all.|
However, the bottom line is that regardless of how you view it, rude or efficient, acceptable or unnecessary, those who are read/deleting-without-replying or unread/deleting-without-replying aren't going to change. Nor are the opinions of the people who don't do it going to change about it, regardless of the reasons given.
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:32:37 PM
|u hit it right on the head fauz|
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:40:05 PM
|It is polite to reply to someone who puts effort into their messages. I have seen a few times, messages that simply say "U R HOT". To me that is the least amount of effort someone can put into a message, infact they couldnt be bothered to spell out the entire words. Does this deserve a response? |
Should I spend a few minutes thanking them for their email and explaining that unfortunately they lack the social skills I require in a mate? Most would agree, probably not, as its similar to a guy coming up to a woman and being very abrupt and distasteful. At that point she would be encouraged to simply walk away.
So I guess in sumation, it is up to each individual to make that call. But certainly not every email is going to get a response from me.
Posted: 12/17/2006 9:53:31 AM
|One of the many difference between the NET and Real Life is that here you can list your interestes and if you drink, smoke, what you like to do or not do etc. As do fake pictures or no pictures or old pictures and so on and so forth.|
Snap judgements run rampant.
In real life it takes quite awhile to really get to know a person. And the older I get, personally, the less I really want to know!
If any of you have taken the time to peruse my profile one of my interests listed is seeing how many people I can to BLOCK me in one day!
And the real matter of the fact is that I have a rather unique sense of humor, and most don't get it ... so like I say in my profile don't be offended, be off with ye!