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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ImTheOneUwant
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 2
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rentPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I dont care how much a woman makes, as long as she has some type of job, and is trying to better herself.

I make my own money, and don't need the help of my mate.

L.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 3
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/3/2006 7:54:37 PM
Money is very important, especially to women in their mid twenties and above. However, money is not the only thing
 SimplyPeachy
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 4
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/3/2006 8:03:07 PM
Agreed. But MONEY don't buy me LOVE!

:P
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 7
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/4/2006 9:02:13 AM

If I found out anyone ran a credit check on me, I would sue them...

How would you find out? It is a good thing they don't or seldom tell you. Otherwise, you would soon go broke filing lawsuits and having them dismissed everytime you applied for a loan or employment, rented an apartment, etc, etc.

It doesn't cost much and it gives you valuable information about the character and finances of a person so, if you can obtain their SSN, it may be wise to run a credit check on anyone you date more than several times. Also, if you can, it may be wise to obtain a copy of their high school and/or college transcripts.

Before marrying someone you should have them investigated, including medical, family, and public records. Before hiring you, companies will investigate you and it is much more important that you check out a potential mate than that an employer check out your background.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 8
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/4/2006 5:19:52 PM

It doesn't cost much and it gives you valuable information about the character and finances of a person so, if you can obtain their SSN, it may be wise to run a credit check on anyone you date more than several times. Also, if you can, it may be wise to obtain a copy of their high school and/or college transcripts.

Before marrying someone you should have them investigated, including medical, family, and public records. Before hiring you, companies will investigate you and it is much more important that you check out a potential mate than that an employer check out your background.


If someone I was possibly getting married to did all of that, and I found out, there sure wouldn't be any marriage. All they have to do, to find out anything would be to ask. I don't spill my guts to everyone, but someone I was about to marry, I would tell them anything they wanted to know.

The difference is before you get to the stage of marrying the person, you have spent a lot of time with them. You have had a chance to get to know each other. When you send a resume into a company, all you are to the person considering you for a job, are words on a piece of paper.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 9
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History
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 9:45:12 AM
Youre d*mn straight it matters!!! (and it *should*) i dont understand the logic/reasoning behind someone who says its their life/their finances...ok, based on the 'involvement', if you date the person, dependant on what you 'Expect' from them,ie:ultimately a 'Relationship'? or just a boink in the nite?? Marriage eventually? or Just Till Something Better Comes Along? You want to know that the person you are associating with can stand on their own two feet and take care of 'Life'....

of course it matters...whether its 10% or 100%, it 'Matters'....Hugs...
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 11
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 11:40:47 AM
As someone who ran into debt problems twice, once in my early twenties, and second when my ex left me with a ton of debt, financial responsibility means paying bills on time, putting something into savings, having some type of retirement plan, and living within your means. Debt should only be taken on when there's absolutely no other way to pay for something; buying a house is an example. Far too many people buy or rent things on time in order to pay way more than they can afford. You see lots more expensive cars out there than 40 years ago; why? because people rent or buy on time payments. Cars became 'accessories' to a lifestyle. Same with appliances. Everyone feels they have to buy something as a status symbol when something simpler will do just fine, because we live in a society of great expectations. Everybody thinks they are entitled to everything, the credit companies encourage it, and personal debt skyrockets. You don't need credit checks to see how someone manages their finances; just pay attention. Running out of money all the time? Using credit cards for everything? Tons of bills coming in the mail? Moderate income person buying prime grade everything? Likes to wear / use brand name stuff with logos on them for everything that advertise to the world that they 'are worth it'? Owns expensive things that they can't afford to have repaired? Problems in the making.
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 12
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 12:36:50 PM
Before marrying someone you should have them investigated, including medical, family, and public records. Before hiring you, companies will investigate you and it is much more important that you check out a potential mate than that an employer check out your background.


LOL, now that's just too funny....why would you have to investigate your potential mate? if your mate wasn't honest with you right up front or thoughout your relationship then why even talk about marriage. yes, marriage is a contract of love but it's the love between the 2 people involved, it has nothing to do with medical, family, or anything else. you're not marrying the family just entering into the family. what goes on with anyone in their family, past, present, and future is their business and has nothing to do with you.

wow, i better shut up now before smjle does a thorough background check on me and finds out that i'm a homicidle maniac that loves getting sh*t-faced drunk every nite let alone robs every bank in town on a daily basis....now if anyone believes about me being a drunk and all.......can i offer you a ocean view home in the driest, sandiest beaches of arabia?

there is a such thing called the privacy act and unless there is a completely legitimate reason, no person information would be easily accessed.

now as for the financial responsibility....it's each individuals responsibility to help provide the income in anyone's household. no, love doesn't pay rent but it helps out. if 2 people are really in love with each other then the party that's unable to help support the house would find ways to help support the other partner and assist on making ends meet.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 13
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 12:49:09 PM
I see a number of women object to being checked out. They prefer you take only what they tell you. Obviously, they have things in their background they wish to keep hidden from a potential mate. All the more reason to have them checked out.
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 14
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 1:15:28 PM
I see a number of women object to being checked out. They prefer you take only what they tell you. Obviously, they have things in their background they wish to keep hidden from a potential mate. All the more reason to have them checked out.


smjle, are you checking into men as well...i'm sure if you did, they'd knock you to the ground. i also agree with funny girl....like i said...."the privacy act"...doctors, lawyers, hospitals, and the courts all abide to it. there is also the fact that in order to obtain any person information you either have to have a signature from the person in regards to release of information or you have to spend thousands of $$$$$ hiring a private investigator and might even be a waste of money since what you find out about the person may have already been told to you.

now, if you wanna know anything about me, just ask.....i'll tell you everything there is only on a "need to know" basis.......in my posts they contain some of my life's puzzle....enjoy your reading. i would never tell you anything about my 2nd cousins and so forth since that's none of your business. also, if you don't trust my word and honor it then you must not be worthy either.
 dogar2007
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 15
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Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/5/2006 8:40:24 PM
If you need to run a credit check just to find out if a person is reliable, then you don't know that person very well yet, do you? Their week-to-week behavior will tell you about their spending habits, their ability to hold a job, etc.

Maybe if you are being proposed to, you might inquire into someone's background.

But if you are doing that with someone you have just started dating, you are being way too invasive of their privacy. A couple of dinners doesn't give anyone the right to do that kind of snooping.

That's like checking the medicine chest, or snoopping in his/her sock drawers when they are in the bathroom, the first time you are at their place. I caught a woman doing that to me once, and that was the end of that evening right there!
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 17
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/6/2006 10:19:39 PM

...."the privacy act"...doctors, lawyers, hospitals, and the courts all abide to it.

No they don't. Let someone from the police or the IRS ask and the records are provided. They shouldn't be, but they are.

The truth is that people lie. That is why, when the police question you, they may check out your story. That is why employers investigate you. I have a brother-in-law that works for a detective agency. They have access to most of the same databases the police have so it doesn't cost much to check someone out and, when you check someone out, there is no need to tell them you had them checked out.

You don't check out everyone you date. However, it is smart to check out and verify the information from someone you may have serious relationship with.
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 18
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/6/2006 10:34:27 PM
well then hun, go right ahead and do a background check on me...............the police do it since they are a city/state/government official, the irs is government as well.

as for police questioning, they do that to see if your answers match up to a previous statement or a statement to be filed. it's their job to ask questions but they do not ask any financial information. as for employers investigating a person, it's signed by the employee (all statements true and correct to your knowledge). once you sign the employment information, you're then authorizing the release of any and all information but not financials unless stipulated on the employment application about a financial background check and you also have to sign for that to be done as well.

woohoo, good for you having a brother in law that's a detective....i have family that are police, firemen, oh and also a dead ex-mayor of philly. so go ahead and check me out then email me all of the information you received. guaranteed you will be sitting in jail.

now, anyone that does a background check on anyone that they're in any kind of relationship is only asking for trouble, needless to say that it's immature, idiotic, and immoral of a person to do that.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 19
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/7/2006 6:10:58 AM
Ponygrl, as I stated, my brother-in-law works for a detective agency. I never said he was a detective. And what nonsense, you don't go to jail for checking someone out. You must have a lot to hide to make such ridiculous claims. Furthermore, there is zero chance that I would check you out and the reason should be obvious. Finally, as I stated, there is not any reason to tell someone you checked him or her out.
 ponygrl™
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 20
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 11/7/2006 7:08:59 AM
And what nonsense, you don't go to jail for checking someone out


you're right, you don't go to jail for checking someone out but you can go to jail for stalking.


You must have a lot to hide to make such ridiculous claims.


who me hide something? you gotta be kidding me just read up on my posts huh, they all have something to do with the pieces of my life's puzzle......if you read them, you found out that i was a dancer for 2 years part time, i was married twice, been through an abusive past with boyfriends in the past, i'm always there to help a friend. i'm in the process of starting my own business.....omg, the list goes on and on. i suggest that you open your eyes and start reading.


Furthermore, there is zero chance that I would check you out and the reason should be obvious.


yeah, the reason is obvious right you are........you're too young for me (i'm old enough to be your mother), i have nothing to hide (i'll tell you here and in person as well), and most of all, i'm not interested in you at all.


Finally, as I stated, there is not any reason to tell someone you checked him or her out.


she would be able to find out........like i said there is the privacy act which also allows the person being investigated complete knowledge as to who is checking into her and her life's history.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 21
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Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:16:28 PM
I think you can just tell by listening to what they tell you.

"gotta pay my property taxes this week" (due today here in my county, actually) reflects differently than "I have to make my tank of gas last til payday".
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 23
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Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 2/7/2007 1:36:00 PM
So if someone's credit was hit hard from a bad divorce where they lost their job and their ex wasnt paying support i.e. they were stuck with having to make late/missed payments through no fault of their own over a long period of time, you'd count them out even if you loved each other?

Or someone who had been ordered to remit in an accident that had a high payout they were struggling with and that was affecting their credit, doesnt mean that they are irresponsible with their money. Sometimes these things are out of people's control through no fault of their own.

You can tell a lot more about their habits from daily discussions than their credit history.
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 24
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Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 2/7/2007 2:23:41 PM
There are many legitimate reasons someone can be having a financial crises at any given time....in today's world.....But in a serious relationship....there has to be full financial disclosure. Depending on how each person views financial responsibilities, tells each one the others character and lets the two of you plan how to handle any debts.

What everyone needs to remember is....when you marry another....you also become equally responsible for each ones financial debts.

I was talking to a man and in the course of the conversations...found out he had not filed a tax return for around 15 years. The first explanations...just didn't ring true....so I kept asking more questions. Also started asking lots of questions in other areas of his life. Gradually the picture started to emerge.....He was not at all what he presented him self to be. He was very skilled in the stories he had as explanation.....they just were not true. Intelligent man, smooth talker, con artist......lived off women he could smooze to put a roof over his head and the social systems. Was his way of life......his pattern. I walked away.

It is a shame we can not trust people to be honest, but we do have to ask the right questions, be alert and don't accept just surface explanations......Some people are very smart, have good answers and know how to take advantage of others......

My point is.....in meeting, dating and considering marrying someone.....we do have to protect ourselves, use our brains......be careful....THEIR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 25
Financial Responsibility- love don't pay the rent
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:50:14 PM
Before they hire you, most employers will do a background check. Before they lend you money, lenders will at the least check out your employment and finances. Why? Because they are intelligent. It's the smart thing to do. It is even more important to check out a potential mate. Perhaps not initially, but before getting too involved. If they object, maybe they have something to hide.
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