Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Women making the first move...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 IWork4KyzrSoze
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 1
Women making the first move...Page 1 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I've been thinking about this for some time.

Do guys like when women make the first move? (both men & women feel free to reply)

And if so, would a guy be off-put if a woman proposed marriage?

Personally, I think it's a turn off to the more traditional type of guy, and since I enjoy the "traditional types" I'm not one of those "pioneering women that makes the first move".

I just have a sneaking suspicion that it just SLAPS THE FACE of all that is right!
 sealacamp
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 2
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 6:13:16 PM
For me it would depend on the situation and the relationship that I had with the other person. So, if the situation felt right, sure being asked out might not be to bad. I have had it both ways. I've asked and been asked. On either end sometimes it is yes and other times it is no.
 LlamaTamer
Joined: 3/8/2005
Msg: 3
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 6:24:13 PM
I don't think there is a thing wrong with women asking men out for a date. If they are so inclined then go for it...no pun intended.

About women asking men to get married...hmmm...I don't know.
Does she have the means to provide for him?
 usanzac
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 4
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 7:02:02 PM
Clever girls with their feminine wiles often make the first move without even doing anything. Contriving a circumstance where the guy makes the first move is the best of both worlds. Guys, if you've ever been out somewhere and noticed some woman often being in the vicinity and perhaps open and available, you know what I mean.

I guess I'm traditional but being approached by a woman has never been a turn-off.
 stubobb
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 5
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 7:37:32 PM
A woman making the first move is like a breath of fresh air. Feels great even if she's not my type.
 salamander000
Joined: 10/26/2004
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 7:42:35 PM
first move....smoothe, everytime
 bugsybears
Joined: 10/6/2004
Msg: 7
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/29/2005 8:32:56 PM
i agree with you llamatamer. there is nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out. not too sure about the marriage deal though. kinda old fashion when it comes to that.
 dodge-and-burn
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 8
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 3:55:46 AM
I'm a modern guy, I believe that it should go both ways.
 ladydi8
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 9
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 4:02:23 AM
whoohooo i am makin a list of names here...........

actually i would rather be the one making the first move.........i can get a little skittish around strange men...........doing this puts the contol back in my corner...........and the fellers dont seem to mind..............
 CaptainNapalm
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 10
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 5:20:57 AM
I'm always thrilled when a woman makes the first move. If a woman has the courage to approach me, and be straight forward, it is worth big points in my book. Confidence can be a very attractive quality. Personally, I'm a bit shy, so it makes life a lot easier for me when someone else breaks the ice. Had I never been approached by women, I would have missed out on a lot of great friendships.

As far as marriage proposals go, I think women should be just as comfortable as men in bringing up the big question. Why shouldn't women be allowed to ask? If a relationship gets to the point at which marriage becomes a possiblilty, why should the woman have to sit around and wait for the man to pop the question while thinking to herself "will he ask? is he ever going to ask? am I wasting my time?" It's kind of unfair. I would hate to be in that position. Anyways, if you're conservative you can always make up a sappy story about how you proposed to your wife. Just as you can tell people you met in a grocery store rather than on pof lol.
 Sliv
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 11
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 6:08:31 AM
Nothing wrong when it's dating. Marriage is a different story for a traditionalist like me, I just like the whole old fashioned idea of the man on bended knee thing *shrug* :P
 craww
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 12
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 6:21:13 AM
i hope some girl makes the first move...
i suck at it.
 Elwood Blues
Joined: 12/10/2004
Msg: 13
Women making the first move...
Posted: 3/30/2005 7:52:43 AM
NOTHING is sexier than for a woman who's spontaeneous... who's not afraid to open a guys pants and do what she feels like
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 14
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/20/2017 9:38:37 AM
"Do guys like when women make the first move?"



Hell ya !

I love it when a woman asks me out on a date !

Why wouldn't I ?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 15
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/20/2017 1:12:33 PM
this has been posted before, but upon reflection, my response remains the same:

it depends upon the woman, if she isn't desired, then she won't be. if she takes no for an answer, it could still be a compliment, otherwise, a fellow might feel bad shooting down a woman if he knows how he feels to be on the receiving end. Meanwhile, I've noticed plenty of situations where the woman "made the first move" by sending subtle signals. She always hangs out where he does (that's how I realized my 3rd gf was waiting for me to ask her out), always puts her best foot forward, et cetera, until the guy "Gets the idea" that he should try his luck since she seems like she might be interested....
 6jellybeans
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 16
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/20/2017 1:32:26 PM
I often make the first move so to speak. Its not that I am looking for sex or dates I just found something fun or attractive about them either in real life or on here.

Got to say that most of the time I am rejected. Most of the time I get ignored when I send messages on here. It doesn't actually bother me. Those guys don't know me and may have seen something that would make us incompatible anyway so I don't see it as a problem. I don't see it as anything much.

Sometimes I get a response but not often. Probably one in thirty I guess? Even then it rarely leads to a date. Contacting people on here, I have never actually met a man after contacting him first. In real life I have had a few dates with men I have taken the initiative with and its been alright but nothing to write home about. I have yet to get jiggy with anyone I have taken the initiative with for the simple reason that they haven't been all that interested in me. It has shown so I haven't bothered to waste my time, energy and emotion stressing about it or getting over the gills about it.

I think for some though they invest so much emotion. I saw her profile and she is perfect type thing and it just... Well its just not healthy to get like that about a stranger. Perhaps that is why some deal with rejection better than others? I don't know.

So its interesting to read that guys seem to think its hot for a woman to take the initiative. I certainly haven't experienced it and tend to have much better luck when guys contact me first and I choose from them who I want to date. Just my observations. Its also well documented that the vast majority of relationships start when the man asks the woman and not the other way round.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 17
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/20/2017 2:29:53 PM
I think I can agree with what was written above. I might meet a stranger here or in real life who just strikes such a chord with me, I can't help but release some of that energy inside me, in the form of a flirt or a come-on or some other way of giving them attention rather than ignoring them like I might anyone else who didn't strike any chord with me.

I've done that for 40+ years, and the results are about as jelly described. But hey, I did what I did b/c I was so energized, I didn't want to extinquish that little spark of feeling alive. My only relationships came about by women who made it clear they were interested, not from me expressing an interest to a woman who didn't notice me otherwise. which makes logical sense, of course.

after a while, however, I wish for more opportunity than to just express myself, I would like it if I could have a relationship with the person so that I could experience more of feeling alive. putting a plan into action to make that happen, only to get rejected, does feel like a total waste of time. especially after a few years when it just gets predictable. as jelly said, the more invested we are in the idea a person or an object will bring us happiness, the more defeated we get in defeat. like I guess, a child who wants a toy, so certain it will make them happy.

like I posted, men who think a woman hitting on them is hot, will not act that way when they are getting bugged by someone they aren't interested in :) they'll act uncomfortable with the attention, if its from someone they don't want to shoot down or just don't want. as far as a successful acceptance of a first move is concerned, I figure it relies on both parties being interested around the same time. even a hot guy can get rejected by a lady who's mind is busy on how she's going to make the rent check this afternoon.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 18
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 5:50:22 AM
Some women refuse to come right out and say " hey, why don't we get together this weekend ? " because they're stuck in the belief that a woman should never take the initiative .

Sad
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 19
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 8:14:31 AM
at the risk of sounding contrarian...some women won't be "forward" thinking it will give them a reputation. Like everyone else knows what "get together this weekend" means just b/c they have an ulterior plan in mind. As they mature, however, they may focus less on "what other people think" in order to gain social acceptance, and decide, "hey, I want something, i'm going after it! If that makes me a b1tch in the workplace or a sexual being in the social atmosphere, well, so be it! I want to be satisfied with my life choices instead of waiting for others to decide for me, dammit!"

and that's a personality that's fun to date :)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 20
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 8:33:16 AM
^^^^

I agree and speaking of fun - show me a woman who is able to take the initiative and I'll show you a woman who is more likely to be more adventurous in bed !







In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 6jellybeans
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 21
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 11:54:23 AM
Well women can not live on air alone you know! We also need a bit of crumpet!

But... the problem is to message or not to message. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't...

Had someone view me today. He has a cute smile, lives reasonably close, seems like a happy go lucky guy. I haven't messaged. Why? Because I know if I do I am less likely to meet him.... So I just viewed his profile. He either fancies me or he doesn't and to be honest I get fed up with worrying about it so I don't.

Apparently men want an independent woman but if she can hang doors and swing an axe that isn't so attractive as being able to go to a nail salon or the hairdressers...

Apparently men want women to make the moves but I suspect that actually comes later after a few dates rather than before the dates. So I quit making the moves.

As I said sometimes I will message a guy first but the response rate is very low. I don't think I am ugly or unattractive so must be that they just don't fancy me or don't want to live the way I do.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 22
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 11:58:08 AM
" Well I thought she was super hot - UNTIL she sent me a msg ! EWWWWW what a turn off ! "


SAID NO GUY IN HIS RIGHT MIND EVER







In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 23
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/21/2017 1:23:24 PM
Admittedly, just b/c someone views our profile, doesn't mean they liked everything they saw. But, I would suggest, Jelly, you give this lad some time to respond and if he doesn't...drop him a line. If he doesn't respond, then you didn't mess up anything, he wasn't responding anyway. I don't ask out women nearly as much as I used to, but if someone shows an interest and there's no risk in trying, i'll give it a shot (in real life, that usually means starting a convo and seeing if I can work into it a comment or a joke about a fellow in her life. Usually it turns out there is, so I avoid just asking her flat out. but since this is a singles' site...)
 6jellybeans
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 24
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/22/2017 1:25:25 PM
Guys I know you are trying to encourage me but I have been doing this for two years now and in that time I have not stinted in sending first messages etc. Most of the time I just like the sound of the guy. They just sound like decent sorts of people. I find that attractive so I am just curious to know more. Not once have I ever met a man I contacted first. At most we exchange a few messages then it fizzles out rapidly because there is just no interest there.

When guys have contacted me first and I message back its because there is interest on both sides. A positive start. OK sometimes it fizzles for what ever reason but I have had plenty of dates from men contacting me first. Initially it was a bit hit and miss but then I learnt what to look for and I have had some great dates with some great guys who sadly are just not for me nor I them. Nothing to do with either lacking anything its just not...

So I hardly ever send messages these days. Because its not worth it. I have banged my head against the brick wall. All I got was a head ache so I changed tactics. Who knows what people think about me sending messages but I have been asked if I am looking for clients, I have been insulted by some for no reason that I have said hello, did you see that awesome game between England and Wales at the weekend. Hey that is really great you can juggle, I can teach you to sin poi if you can teach me how to keep those balls up! Its just striking up conversation to see who they are and what they are like. But it seems I am some sort of slapper for doing that.

And yes I am direct, and yes all my exes have said (even after we break up) that I am dynamite in the sack. Problem is it takes more than that to make a relationship on both sides and I am not in this to get laid by 100 random men... Just one will do me fine thanks.

Like everyone else I have layers and it takes time to get to know me. Sometimes I come across great, other times I am just plain tired, because I am human. I work hard, I am sociable with out being a drunkard, I am independent and capable, I have a soft side that is as squidgy as goo and the harsh side that can deal with unpleasantness life sometimes hurls. In some situations I am as hard as nails and an absolute ****. I also know that I am Marmite. You either love me or hate me. Thankfully most love me and its rare for me to find someone who hates me but it happens and that is life.

You also forget that we have interacted on here for a while now so we kind f know each other a bit so your views of me will be skewed.

I know the sort of person I am looking for. I just have no idea what the outer packaging looks like.

So that is why I hardly ever message first. I know full well that if I do that it is highly unlikely that I will even get a response let alone a date. So I may as well just sit back and wait. You guys all think that if women send out messages that men will like it and that we will have our pick.

Truth is that it is just as difficult for women as it is men to find the right person.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Women making the first move...
Posted: 9/24/2017 3:15:55 AM

I've been thinking about this for some time.

Do guys like when women make the first move? (both men & women feel free to reply)

And if so, would a guy be off-put if a woman proposed marriage?

Personally, I think it's a turn off to the more traditional type of guy, and since I enjoy the "traditional types" I'm not one of those "pioneering women that makes the first move".


No guy on planet Earth is going to dislike a woman making the first move unless he finds the woman unattractive. But even then, most men will take it as a compliment. There's absolutely nothing to worry about in this situation. I also agree with other people that said women DO make the first move often. They do it through eye contact, touching your arm, laughing at your jokes, etc. The only exception are the "perfect ten" women that get a lot of attention from men. They usually don't show as many obvious signs so the best indicator of interest is that they're still there talking you, listening to you, asking questions, etc.


So that is why I hardly ever message first. I know full well that if I do that it is highly unlikely that I will even get a response let alone a date. So I may as well just sit back and wait. You guys all think that if women send out messages that men will like it and that we will have our pick.

Truth is that it is just as difficult for women as it is men to find the right person.


I disagree with the first part but agree with the second part. I've answered 100% of emails I've got from women on this site and other social media sites. I think you're being a little pessimistic when you say you're unlikely to get a response. If men had your attitude, no one would ever send a first message. Finding a highly compatible match is difficult though.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Women making the first move...