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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...      Home login  
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 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 1
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been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
It's not that I have such a strong libido- but I've never had this experience...we've had 3rd date, 4th.. and 5th dates- spent all day together, kiss..hug.. and then he goes home. It's a 90 minutes drive. I finally asked him if he's attracted to me and he said yes, but isn't ready for a sexual relationship..am I being paranoid, or do you think there could be a dysfunction here?? He does have diabetes, and I know that can be a problem for getting , keeping erections... but in this a day and age, who hasn't heard of Viagra?? I can now identify with the ,em if wait a while and then decide to move on because it looks like there will never be a sexual relationship.
 djc02359
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 2
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been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 11/26/2006 2:03:57 PM
Bluezzz,
I knew that would be the reaction of a lot of people. But we can only judge by our own experiences, and I haven't had this experience in 6 years of dating ( dating post divorce) I'm also not saying that I would definitely say yes- I just find it unusual. As for the communication- I did bring it up because I wasn't sure what he was looking for- a buddy or a lover. He was giving me a lot of mixed signals. That was when he said he wasn't ready.

But, out of curiosity~ does anyone know if diabetes can really cause impotence? And, if so- is it treatable?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3
been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 11/26/2006 2:05:00 PM
~OP~ You really haven't been together all that long. I would consider it respect ~ but I am never in a rush to get physical. Once the sex starts, some other things stop ~ I like the other things. Being infatuated, feeling warm/fuzzies just because there is a date planned, enjoying his company without being naked, etc. I find waiting makes sex much better ~ the anticipation alone is exciting ~ but that's just me. If you are concerned about it being a medical problem, maybe you should just ask him. JMO
 artista
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 4
been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 11/26/2006 2:52:43 PM
-Looks at the calendar-

Hmmm looks like October was only just LAST MONTH to me.

 Gentlecowboy
Joined: 8/21/2006
Msg: 5
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been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 12/30/2006 2:25:41 PM
I dated a girl recently who told me it was her policy to really get to know the guy well before sex. She said no sex until the 10th date. I accepted that as an honest request. We lasted 4 dates and she was the one who really initiated it. Hey, I was keeping my word. Needless to say, the sex was great, but I could have waited if she wished. I'm not a prude, I just respect people...
 ronin.tensai
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 8
he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:16:44 PM
Maybe guys don't understand women because you're an incredibly diverse group, and it's hard to make any sort of solid generalizations that won't get you in trouble with some woman, somewhere?

Everyone on this website is here because there's something missing from our lives, otherwise why would we bother? It's perfectly natural for a guy to want a lot of sex, don't assume because we all show interest in sex and some guy used you for it at one point that is all any of us are interested in. A lot of guys don't know how to express feelings articulately.


For the original poster, it seems that sex is a very important part of a relationship to you. If you haven't had any after two months I'd say the probability that there is some sort of hang up or issue is pretty high. If you really like the guy, maybe put the idea of a relationship on the back burner and try dating other people. If the situation changes your options are open.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 9
been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 1/3/2007 4:48:08 AM
Anybody else here notice this OP and "Stephie" have seemingly disappeared?? LOL Couldn't take the heat so they got out of the kitchen!!
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 10
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been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 2/2/2007 6:05:48 PM
There is such a thing as a low libido, some people just don't want sex very much.
How experienced do you know he is ?
He may be covering up for his own inexperience. Maby he's not ready yet because he's never had it yet. Sex is a learned behavior, it doesn't just come automatically. Perhaps you could be his teacher.
I suggest you take a more aggressive attitude, start grabbing him and take him down.
You need to make your frustrations clear.
 Shadow_Knows
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 11
been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 4/10/2007 7:26:26 PM
I notice you did not include your partners age in the missive? It has been my experience that men evolve sexually at a way different rate than women and if your partner is either the same age as you or older he is at his normal descent for sexual activity.

Being a diabetic may have a slight bearing on his performance, but being a diabetic myself at the age of 55 I show no signs as yet of slowing down or erectile dysfunction. I note many men of my age have very little "sex drive" but something you may wish to ask him and try, is him performing oral sex for you, or the use of "sex toys" and hopefully he can satisfy your needs that way?

Life does not stop being great with a partner just because of a lack of sex, but exploring a different way he can fulfil you is another way of coming closer together?

Here's hoping you find a resolve to this delema...... ttfn
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 12
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been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 6/4/2008 1:06:51 AM
OP, as we get older, we often feel the need to ''rush" and all we end up doing is going in circles, chasing our own tails!!!

your picture looked like a little kid, so i didn't take your ED question seriously at first. but yes, it may be his diabetes and it varies as to whether that will be an issue that can be dealt with. so, you will have to take the time to know him and find out what is going on with him. many people do not rush into things, many do. many men after 50 have performance issues. many do not. there are many holistic ways to address this above and beyond viagra.

the more comfortable your relationship, the more comfortable he will be in addressing your questions. i tend to be a very open person, but many people are a lot more "private' in discussing these things. i have teens, so anything and everything gets talked about here! some people are just more reserved and/or more fearful of rejection. many men don't even talk about it amongst themselves.

now if you were to go on forever like this, i would worry. my friend bragged about dating this guy who never touched her and yet, i had a funny feeling about him. he later tried to molest another worker's child. so, be in tune with your vibes. if it's just sincerity in finding "the one" or ED issues or both, they can work themselves out. if not, and his medical issues are that great, he needs to come forward and talk to you. give it some time.
 PirateOB
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 13
been dating since beginning of Oct- he doesn't want sex...
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:59:11 PM
is he gay ? is he seeing someone else? maybe he had a sex change
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