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 Ex-Princess
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 4
Calling Kids baggagePage 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
^^^^^^ mess 3
What if the relationship never failed, just a person passed away?
 metro_man4u
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 10
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:28:33 PM
Amen to that, I am a father with sole custody of 2 kids and it is best just to know up front that the other person has a problem with kids.
 UrbanX
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 11
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 5:32:11 PM
What about calling them baggage handlers? Or is that child labour?

Personally, I'm completely uninterested in people without baggage of some sort; their lack of complexity makes them dull. Interestingly, that makes a lack of baggage a form of baggage too.

Cheers,
Mike (my favourite baggage is Tumi)
 Man In New Hampshire
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 17
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Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:29:27 PM
So I guess people that consider children baggage would also consider hobbies, being close to your family, or doing anything else but being fully available for them in a relationship to be baggage.

Hmm, sounds pretty narrow to me.
 Nice_2meetU
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 20
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:39:15 PM
If some men didn't call children "baggage" then how in the world would you know which men to avoid? ;)
 Man In New Hampshire
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 21
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Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 8:39:31 PM
"But family and kids, etc. must be dealt with and often. There is no escape, thus the term "baggage."

I just call that having a life.

Some hobbies can take a bit of time out of a week. Golfing, car racing (being on a team, not just attending), attending sporting events, and many others.

Having a life isn't baggage. It's just being a normal human.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 28
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:58:48 PM
Baggage is just a word really. A lot of people don't want to date someone with children because they don't want to get tied down. A lot of people call pets baggage, and that's ok too but they don't get very far with me children are a blessing and to all the single parents out there, don't give up hope. There are a lot of people who are more than willing to date a single parent and care for their children. If someone doesn't want to date you because of the children, that is their preference.
 mohawkstud905
Joined: 11/28/2006
Msg: 32
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 10:31:27 PM
woman are wh0res they always fall for the a$sholes god this should be called plentyofmilfs i would never date someone with baggage cause if a woman gets pregnant buy some a$$hole they she deserves to be alone stick with the nice guys u wh0r3s
 kristelkicksass
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 34
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:59:15 PM
I like Mohawk's use of "leetspeak." Makes him sound EXTREMELY intelligent. I suppose that little girl in the picture is the child of some whore??

ANYWAY....I don't think "baggage" is a nice term. But obviously it means different things to different people. And I'm sure some people don't feel that it's insulting or rude; it all depends on their interpretation of the word. I wouldn't get offended by it. It's just causing you undue stress.
 Merle
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 36
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 1:19:20 AM
I think what most men mean when they call kids baggage is that when you get into a relationship with a woman with kids you are getting into a relationship with everyone. And its very difficult for a child to have a mother and guys that come into their life and leave. Its a very stressfull situation for everyone. And I am sure that the reason why men try to avoid a woman who has children.
 maybdovemaybvixen
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 37
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 5:33:25 AM
I think it's important to remember that love/sex/dating/marriage and all that goes with it can be tough when you are trying raise kids. If you are a parent with priorities in proper place, kids come first. For many, having chosen not to have kids or to have already raised their own, a potential partner that has kids at home isn't really conducive to finding what they seek. For others, it's no big deal. Either way, honesty and respect are essential. Deciding another is not what you seek should never be a value judgement, neither should it be taken personally.
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 39
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:02:06 AM
On another thread, one person said it best (This of course won't apply to every woman's kids, but I've seen it all too often, and experienced dating women with monsters for kids). I would try to get their premission to reprint this, but that person doesn't have a profile posted. So, here goes:

Yes, once you hit forty and are a single male, you are now expected to take over the maintenance of another man's (or men's) children. You're not allowed to have the joy of nine months of anticipation and delivery of your child. You're supposed to be happy that the moment you say "I do" you're the proud surrogate father to another man's (or men's) children ranging from a few months old to rowdy teenagers. You, of course, will not be allowed to discipline them consistent with your beliefs and values and your home will forevermore be torn apart by weekend visitations, travel limitations, and the continual fight between your new wife and her ex(s). The bio-father will likely undo any values you try to instill in your step-children. On the plus side, you might find yourself in a new tax bracket with the additional child support money rolling in.

I would rather marry a woman who couldn't have children than to get myself into the situation above, which I see all too many guys get themselves into.

And that's why they're so often referred to as 'baggage'.
 UrbanX
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 40
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:02:50 AM
from Mohawkstud's profile:


ok lets start of with all woman are ****ed up i know i sound like a fcking a$shole but u woman do it to yourselfs your all slutty moody gold digging whores all of u on this website your all skanks and thats all u will ever


and from his quote above:


woman are wh0res


Hey, mohawk, I think your account must have been hacked. After all, no one would seriously get on a dating site and say this kind of complete and utter crap, would they? I mean, a guy that said that kind of stuff himself would have to be a total idiot and utterly unfit for human company. He'd be a misogynistic a**hole who should be checked into rehab. He'd be someone sane people wouldn't leave alone with their children. He'd make himself completely unattractive to all women, not just the vast majority of them.

Cheers,
Mike (those scampish hax0rs)
 melbyshelby2
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 43
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 4:03:50 PM
I love msg25, soooo true....it is the same identifiable comment that you get from someone who says they love kids and small animals argh. I talked to someone once who was divorced and called his daughter his souveneir not baggage... I kind of liked that one. A souveneir is something treasured that you have and want to keep forever to remember the good times :) from the past.
 MotleyGrrl
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 45
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:10:06 PM
A lot of things in life are considered baggage. My cat could be considered baggage.
I prefer not to date men with children, not necessarily because I consider THEM baggage, but usually the surrounding circumstances make up baggage. I have chosen not to have children so far because I don't want to be tied down, and I don't feel I need to apologize for not wanting to date someone who has such a huge priority that doesn't have anything to do with me. It may sound selfish, but if I am going to make compromises in my life, it will be for a child who is my flesh and blood
 BigDaddy9295
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 48
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 6:37:45 PM
Children are fun to watch , fun to be around, and if they are baggage, well, then I just want to go buy me some samsonite!
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 50
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Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/15/2006 7:54:57 PM
Kids are never baggage.....baggage is what you carry over from your previous relationships and judge the new one by or impose on your new one. Kids can be made to seem to be somewhat more than they are, such as those that say "my kids are my world" et cetera. Statements like that have the effect of making the prospective person feel like its not worth even trying...the kids will be taking place number one.
Just remember....kids grow and go. If they are your whole world then you are setting yourself up for a disappointing and lonely life.
The children should remain an important and vital part of your entire life, but not your most important part of your personal life. However, they are never baggage, it is the individual carrying the attitudes and hurts that creates the baggage, the kids don't have that capacity.
 thecurefaith
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 58
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 6:03:17 AM
I do agree that calling children "baggage" is just plain rude and you should probably avoid a guy like that at all costs
but i did meet a girl on here recently who had five kids and that was very intimidating, cause if i were to ever marry her(hypothetically) i would be adopting half a litter that i didn't create and i would have to help support.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 59
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 6:21:37 AM
I dont think they are only talking about kids.Baggage could be anything from kids to crazy ex`s to some sort of disorder.
 BigDaddy9295
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 61
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:08:23 AM
I think Calling kids, or anything else in a persons life Baggage, is from looking for reasons to NOT like or fall for someone. Fear of actually connecting with someone because they are afraid of getting hurt, so they look for the negatives in a person. That could be differant for differant people. FOr some its kids. others, its the ex. But if you love someone, you will work it out and look for whats good and posative about them. Once someone accepts someone for who they are, including thier "baggage" they will be alot happier, and maybe love the person even more. Maybe then that person will actually grow to love the kids too!
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 62
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:12:06 AM
This post seems to be going in two different directions. The “Kids are Baggage” rant and the “How could you NOT want children??” reprimand.

As a mother and lover of all species of children (e.g., rug rats, crumb grabbers, curtain climbers, house apes, etc.), I feel sorry for those who choose to remain childless. My sympathy is not because they don’t want kids, but because people WITH kids cannot seem to fathom that not everyone wants to execute their right to “be fruitful and multiply”. People who want to live in a kid-free zone shouldn’t have to justify the reason for their decision. Not everyone wants or even likes children (heck, there are times when I’m not too fond of MINE). However, it does not make them any less human, and I am not offended if someone does not want to date me because I have kids. I understand that it is a personal preference and not a personal attack on me or my offspring.

As for kids being baggage, I think it is the term “baggage” that many people find offensive. Baggage is the $hit that people bring with them into new relationships. Maybe it’s just me, but I can see how some people might take offense to having their children lumped into a category that is reserved for nasty exe-spouses; alcoholics; drug addicts; insurmountable debtors; cheaters; and other assorted a$$hats. Personally, I am not easily offended (I talk like a pre-code Popeye before the advent o’ the Hays office), but I do think it is ill-mannered to refer to children “baggage”, just as it is impolite to call the mentally challenged “retards”, refer to an over weight person as “lard a$$” or say that a person suffering an epileptic seizure is having a “fit”. It’s called good manners. Doesn’t anyone remember this from their old “Highlights” subscription? What would Goofus and Gallant do???



 wolfman70
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 66
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:17:30 PM

"living reminders of mistakes made on a camping trip"?


umm living reminders..for me my children are reminders of how wonderful life is..were YOU a living reminder of a drunken night camping?! is it bringing up some horrible memories for you..




Kids aren't baggage. If they were, then I wouldn't have received the proper upbringing from my mother (who pretty much raised me on her own for a few years before getting married for the second time)
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 68
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:34:01 PM
Having seen this post hanging around a few days I finally decided to read it---seemed like it might be interesting maybe??? Seems I was wrong---I get the impression the OP and her self-described "feistyness" is more an over reaction than anything.

I've very rarely seen anyone all children baggage but the stated desire to avoid "baggage" is rampant on mens AND womens profiles here. Perhaps the way something is worded could be misinterpreted as "kids are baggage"-----but again I myself haven't seen this comment made by anyone so far.

Just my .02 worth!
 Saturday Night Rocks
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 70
Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 8:14:21 PM
Hmmm...

To me, baggage is unresolved emotional issues that someone is bringing into their new relationship. I don't think of children as baggage; I think of them as family...
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 72
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Calling Kids baggage
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:49:47 PM
Calling kid's "baggage" is a very negative attitude .... of course you hope the kid's your prospective partner has are good, well behaved kids ....but to call them baggage is just plain wrong and very selfish.
Kid's are alot of fun ...when they aren't driving you nut's.
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