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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How dumb am I?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 7
How dumb am I?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Don't feel bad. You are still young and haven't been duped by a lot of men yet. Not enough to hone your instinct anyway.

After you have run through a few more clowns like him, you will start to see the signs.

Sounds great, doesnt it? lol. You know the truth is everyone could tell you what to look for but it seems every generation is doomed to relearn everything themselves.

Stick around the forums, and learn from other people's mistakes. But don't just read the women's experiences. Women do it to men also, so make sure to keep an open mind and read the men's stories too. It's not just a gender thing when it comes to cheating.

Good luck. btw you look great.
 himmicane┬ž
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 14
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:16:23 PM
OP, did this guy have a public picture on his profile? If not, that should be your first clue. Never date a guy who won't put his pic up for public viewing on his profile. They always have some kind of lame excuse for not doing it, just don't fall for it. If you meet a guy and his pic does not look like him, again some lame excuse is usually given, then run.

-Jim
 Huggablehottie
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 29
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:00:59 PM
Really I don't think you are dumb at all. We can ask all the right questions, but it is hard to tell if they are lying, when they are sociopaths.
He was married, he did wrong, he is the one who had the commitment. He is the one who lied to you and to his family.
I am suspecting he just rented out that apartment to complete the facade that he was single.
As for the pics, how can anyone say they attract married men? I am sure they attract many men, so what.
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 30
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:04:23 PM
The way you describe his apartment it sounds more like his flop house. If it didnt have a land line then his wife probably doesnt know about the apartment.

Dont worry about your pics. Just because you have a boob shot posted I dont think that means you are a boob. The guy is a slimball and he took advantage of you. Dont let people blame you for HIS disgusting behaviour.

Learn to watch for warning signs. If he doesnt have a landline then something has to be up. I do know a couple of people that only use cellphones as they find it a waste of money to have a landline also but most people do. Take a good look at his ring finger and look for a tan line. Tell the next guy you meet that if he turns out to be married or have a gf you will tell his wife and help her chop his bits off.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 34
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:47:01 PM
It happens - the very first gal I got interested in (on the net) when I first became single was married.
 braveheart_m
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 40
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:03:14 PM
First I would like to say your pic's are very tasteful,and you haters should be ashmed of yourselves.
Im 49 have three children,two exwive's and I still havent figured this crap out.I assume the vast majority of us havent so dont disspare.
You are a beautiful girl and im sure you'll break your share of hearts before its all said and done,and you'll probablly screw over a couple of guy's along the way.Hell you've allready broken mine im to damn old for you so anyway have a and dont let the 's beat you.
 Dragoninrain
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 42
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/17/2006 10:22:56 PM
Well, 3 months is not all that long to have kept your undies on your bottom. So not much lost.

LOTS of either gender will lie about their status.

IF they are only available during their work hours, disappear suddenly, no land line number anywhere, short dates limited to other areas (OH and do not forget that even going to 'their place' does not mean all that much as many have friends that are quite comfortable with lending out the keys -- even if the friend personally knows the wife and kiddies)

Such is life and little c commitment for all too many (if it gets a bit rough find another)
 UandIBelieve
Joined: 6/10/2005
Msg: 50
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 8:36:31 AM
How sad this whole post is and some of the replies... you are the victum girl... your pictures show a happy girl with lots of friends... I am sure the picture with your friends was a snap shot to capture a happy time and not just your breasts...Be proud hold your head up high... The guy was a jerk and yes they are out there... Should you give up? NO! You have the right for happiness... I agree that there should be a place to report married men or true jerks... I have even heard there are some married women and lady jerks looking for $$$... Girl keep the faith and I hope you find what you are looking for... and may that guy get what he deserves... You are Beautiful, do not listen to the judgemental people they are not happy with their own lives.... jacki
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 61
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 4:01:53 PM
Unfortunately, it's just something you have to be on the lookout for. What he did was WRONG, don't beat yourself up over it, just live and learn. It speaks well of you that you ARE upset,rather than seeking some way to blame the guys wife, or treating the situation lightly.

I wish I could tell you some magic 'secret" test that would identify the married gameplayers, but I don't think there is one, other than awareness, caution, and a certain amount of skepticism.

Better luck next time, kid.
Cindy O
 Buh-Bye!
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 64
How dumb am I?
Posted: 12/27/2006 5:36:27 PM
Your pictures are another issue....and regardless of the judgement used in posting them -- it's no excuse for a married man to lie to you.

As far as the married guy goes,....you're young & inexperienced. Just take things a little slower in the future and be more observant & 'investigative'.
Wake Dan's comments were right on....

It will just take some time of learning about yourself and others to become a better judge.

Good luck in the future. Lesson learned... Forget about this creep and move on.
 Axelsanx
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 73
How dumb am I?
Posted: 1/8/2007 6:29:39 PM
What is up with married men whose wives are pregnant cheating on their wives? I have friend who have done it and I never got it. I even was seeing a girl who dropped my for this piece of trash, another thing I cannot understand is some women's attraction to worthless pieces of S#$%, and even stayed with him once she found out the truth.
 goldengirl88
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 75
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/10/2007 10:27:02 AM
You want to know where you can post such warnings about men? There is one! It's called "don'tdatehimgirl.com" and it's pretty entertaining and educational to read too.
 a12004h
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 87
How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:26:27 PM
Your not dumb your YOUNG.

Some people on here Wish they could get into the life and pants of someone as attractive as yourself.

Mark Twain said "Youth is wasted on the young."

Just chalk it up to one of life's experiences.

Learn from your experiences try not to make the same error again.

Some men and woman here are real sneaky, that's how they live their lives.

Your real match will come along.

At 21 it's the time to play and learn what you want and don't want.

Good luck and happy fishing.

I have noticed a lot of bitter men and women on this site.

Many are in a hurry to kick people when they are down.

Makes them feel better. Ignore them you did nothing wrong.

Happy fishing.
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 88
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:33:22 PM
well in response to ur post babe.. this is the internet its pretty easier for ppl to lie online and u not notice it.. so dont feel bad about that..
fyi ive met women who were just as slimey online
 WhyNot 14414
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 89
How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:35:02 PM
Not sure why you are getting slammed about your pic....I also have been duped from married men... Please learn from your mistake and go out and find someone that is right for you.. He is out there,trust me and all the others that have told you the same. You are young,have fun and enjoy your life..

BTW...Love your kitty,mine new one looks just the same..
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 90
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:55:45 PM
well naw i wouldnt say ur dumb for that babe.... like what someone else said, obviously this guy has been doing that for a long time... the house may not have been his actualy place of residence...sometimes what u have to do is suprise the guy... ukno just drop in.. u dont even have to alert himn of ur presence... sometimes u gotta be alittle more cautious/stalkerish in order to make sure u arnt getting ran over... but saying how can men be so slimy is too much of a generalization, women tend to do that all the time when it comes to men.. personaly alot of u are always going for the same type of guy... a hot guy, and then u all complain there all doggs, when u havent been with a guy u wont normally go for.... personally.. this is the internet.. ive probly met just as many slimey girls on here as any girl-men
u just gotta be more careful, and try something different once
 34Phill34
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 109
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How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/22/2007 7:17:36 AM
Not Dumb just young and naive, you made a mistake in trusting someone, thats just natural. Although I'm sure the experience will make you more cynical of your future dates.

Just be yourself and you never know whats around the corner.

I would have thought that the women on this forum wold be more sympathetic to a girl who has been lied to by a married man, not chastised by the way she looks or dresses.

And on an internet dating site everyone has to make themselves look their best just to get noticed.

Put the whole episode down to experience, and by the way the best way to get revenge on an idiot like that is to find a great new partner and live life to the full, and not take any notice of the Ex.
 Winter Sparkle
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 118
How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/22/2007 8:50:16 PM
Don't meet men from online!
They are all a joke! ;)

They will pick you out from the crowd, then will always be sitting on the fence ready to jump once the next piece of a.s.s comes along.
 HereN916
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 121
How dumb am I?
Posted: 9/22/2007 9:53:32 PM
OP, I'm not sure you are even still reading the posts, but you look great and quite appropriate for the type of function it appears you are at. Your attire wasn't the reason why this happened. It happened because the guy is an as*hole and you and I and a whole lot of other people tend to believe what we are told until proven different. Some guys are great at lying - and women too, - don't feel foolish....hey it took me seven months to find out and that was only a year ago and I'm 53. I too went to his apartment, there was nothing there that even hinted at a seven year bf/gf relationship. His long time g/f told him of our conversation. I never called or emailed him after speaking to her. Then I get an email that said, "sorry you had to find out the hard way". And I'm thinking, "what there's an easy way?"...........anyway, my point is, you are not alone, there are a lot of us that have gone through the same hurtful experience and felt like the biggest fool of all. Oh, and don't pay attention to the fashion JUDGES on here, .......you look darling!
 justatool
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 122
How dumb am I?
Posted: 4/14/2009 11:13:50 PM
If you are a trusting person, you are easy to fool. One who is trusting expects the same from others. Its not a reflection on your iq, but a reflection on your inherent good nature. Cherish this quality, but be a little more skeptical in the future, lol. All the best to you, you seem like a great woman.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 125
How dumb am I?
Posted: 4/16/2009 12:23:47 AM
This site, like everywhere else on the internet, is full of selfish creeps who think they can have whatever they want whenever they want. The kind of man who seems to anymore be the majority and makes as all look bad. You just need to be careful and try to pick out the good from the bad.
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