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 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 2
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetryPage 1 of 151    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Oops! Got Caught!©

Now Amber my ex-wife is she
Demanded a high alimony
______ For parties and drink
______ I just don’t think
I’ll comply with the judges’ decree

A P.I. took photos for me
And ALL of Amber I see
______ With some guy in bed
______ I know she will dread
The loss of her alimony

Those photos of Amber in bed
(The ones I know she will dread
______ In them she’s nude
______ And so is the dude)
Taken while we were still wed!

Within these photos is proof
While livin’ under my roof
______ She thought she could screw
______ The dude (and me too!)
While remaining cool and aloof

Well, Amber, for you I’ve got news
You’ll be singing the blues
______ No alimony,
______ At least not from me
For you to buy rubbers and booze!

Now I hear that Amber’s new dude
Thought those pictures were rude
______ He’s all upset
______ Now Amber will get
Served papers in which she’ll be sued.

And to the unfaithful uncouth
You’ll not find comfort or sooth
______ Through alimony
______ Or judges’ decree
When you tell lies and half-truth.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 3
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 9:48:08 AM
A dead lad from ol’ Dublin Town
In a vat of green beer was he found
______ The smile on ‘is face
______ No one could erase
But what a way to go down!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 4
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 9:55:25 AM
Won’t Fit

An Irishmen engaged in transplants
His “endowments” there to enhance
______ ‘Twas big, it ‘twas bold
______ All coiled and rolled
But he couldn’t get into his pants!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 5
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:02:13 AM
The Stash

The lass said: “No more with you!”
The lad said: “What’ll I do … ”
______ With me estate and me cash
______ And the rest of me stash?”
After that the lass was on him like glue!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 6
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:18:49 AM
Losin’ the Mood

The lass had cuddled and cooed
In the small car she had wooed
______ But at the motel
______ From the small car to expel
He had to get out of the mood!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 7
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:38:44 AM
Oops!

The lass she was large – she was round
In fact … she was just a round mound
______ But for him ‘twas alright
______ ‘Til later that night
She said: “Excuse me, but I’m upside down!”
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 8
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:46:38 AM
What Is It?

The lad he lacked in IQ
But the lass he still did pursue
______ She told him: YES!
______ And began to undress
Asked he: Now what is it I do?
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 11
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:16:36 PM
Out of His Gourd

So this dude, he drove an Isuzu,
(Yeah, just like the one that you do)
______ He’d wanted a Ford
______ But was out of his gourd
‘And his “bird-dog” was a small Shih Tzu
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 12
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:23:46 PM
Oops … Train Changes!

The lad he got on a train
Destination: Old Bangor, Maine
______ He slept, then awoke
______ Ah, the poor bloke
Found he’d wound up in Fort Wayne!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 13
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:27:49 PM
Where’d It Go?

Now … where did it go?
It was here a short time ago!
______ I sat me down
______ Stood up with a frown
Now my LAP is nowhere I know!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 14
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:33:47 PM
Followin’

I’m nearly scared out’a me wits!
Me problem is becomin’ a blitz!
_______ If I go here
_______ Or anywhere near
Me Shadow follows … an’s givin’ me fits!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 15
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:42:06 PM
Lost Support

George, (I believe was his name)
A man of notorious fame
______ His support: It was lost
______ His office: The cost
Oh, Poor George, what a shame.
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 16
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:46:25 PM
Once A Year

A bath he took once a year
(To save soap and water, I hear)
______ The girls he can’t kiss
______ ‘Cause the ones that he’ll miss
Won’t ever dare to come near!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 17
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 7:56:17 PM
Visitin’ Me Buddy

Her to Him: “Where’ve ya’ been”?
Him: “I visited me buddy O’Flynn”
______ But there was a curse
______ It couldn’t be worse
When there’s lipstick there on his chin!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 18
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 8:12:41 PM
Three

Just a pen pal was she
And just as nice as could be
______ What rings her chimes
______ Is posting two times
But to erase one, made it … three!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 19
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/24/2007 8:16:02 PM
Climb In

Creating a limerick in rhyme
Is taking up all of my time
______ But, try as I might
______ Seems every night
These words just climb into my mind!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 20
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 4:31:41 AM
Holy Jeeter!

Now it is in rhyme an in meter
Which causes us all come to meet here
______ The rhyme is just fine
______ Most of the time
But the meter sometimes is so way off it just makes ya’ wanna stop and say: Holy Jeeter!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 21
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 4:32:06 AM
Holy Jeeter!

Now it is in rhyme an in meter
Which causes us all come to meet here
______ The rhyme is just fine
______ Most of the time
But the meter sometimes is so way off it just makes ya’ wanna stop and say: Holy Jeeter!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 22
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 4:37:41 AM
Alimony

Okay. You win. Here’s the money
But, you haven’t earn it now, Honey
______ I think I’ve been screwed,
______ Blued and tattooed
From this thing they call: Alimony
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 23
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 4:57:07 AM
First Name

Oh my! Dear me! That’s your baby?
Pardon me, but, I’ve not seen lately
______ A kid look that bad
______ My gosh and egad
No wonder his first name is: Ugly!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 24
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 5:05:19 AM
Honesty’s the Best Policy

A man of The Cloth, named O’Quill
Was savin’ souls up until
______ He was defrocked
______ Chided and mocked
For puttin’ his hands in the till !
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 25
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 5:12:47 AM
Goin’ Home

Okay … with you I’ll have one more beer
For ‘tis to good cheer I adhere
______ Then home I will go
______ But, oh, don’t cha’ know
‘Tis facin’ me spouse that I fear!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 26
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 6:03:30 AM
My Double Entry!

Oh NO! I’ve entered it … twice
When I know just one would suffice
______ My accident
______ I’d circumvent
But I don’t know how to work this device!
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 27
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 6:13:52 AM
There He Goes

Of others he’d become so ill spoken
That the others’ patience was broken
_______ So they got him back
_______ Got rid of his flack
And banished him out to Hoboken
 PosterChild4Ugly
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 28
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Limericks....us Irish aren't too good a poetry
Posted: 1/25/2007 6:54:10 AM
Can’t Stop

To you readers: “Hey! Hello!”
I just want you to know
______ What I write here
______ May not be clear
But I can’t stop the words as they flow.

Some of them come as a dream
In a steady unstoppable stream
______ So … I make a note
______ Of my dreams’ quote
Then write ‘em here in a theme.

Yes, I know some are dumb
But I write ‘em down as the come
______ Into my head
______ Then they are read
Before my mind becomes numb.
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