Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How long should you wait before moving in together?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 13
How long should you wait before moving in together?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I did it once very suddenly (7 weeks I think) which ended up a marriage of 7 years. And once after two years of dating, which ended in a 6 month live-in-hell disaster. I don't think it was the length of time that mattered ~ it was me with the man that made the difference.

I'm not sure I'd do it again, but stranger things have happened. Do what you feel is right. No one can really answer this for someone else. JMO
 wesjokerg
Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:53:08 AM
I beleive after you get to know eichothers likes and disslikes
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 44
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 3/29/2007 9:15:56 PM
Its not so much about time its about communication. If you have an amazing amount of communication in that 3 months and asked other some hard and fast real life questions on what you both want and are in agreeance- then fine. Go with it. Some people can go out for 2 yeears and still not know the person they are with.

You can bring it up if you are thinking about it. You dont have to say you want to move in together tomorrow just mention the possibility about it. See what he says.

Then go from there. You dont have to cover it all in one discussion, but it could be something to work towards
 2tiedfish
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 45
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:46:46 PM
Not any longer than a fraction of a second after saying "I DO" Unless of course I am on my honeymoon then it would be just as soon after getting off that plane.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 47
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 3/31/2007 1:38:33 AM
till after the wedding :)
 redneckcountrygirl
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 49
view profile
History
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 4/2/2007 2:18:47 PM
The day after the wedding.
 sammxo
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 50
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:16:12 PM
The saying 'You never really know someone until you live with them' is true to every word. I moved in with my ex 3 months after dating because he lived where I was going to school and it just seemed easier to live there then go through the hassle of finding someone else. It was fine for the first few months then everything just turned around. You get angry because you spend so much time together, 24/7, when they don't clean up after themselves, when they do things you don't like, like going agasint house rules, when they don't respect things or the way you live your life. I know it's the same with one of my friends. I love them to death, I've stayed with them for weeks on end and I just couldnt make it permanant because you get sick of them, they're messy. The only way it works is when you know what you both want together and you can co-operate. That's the biggest problem.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 52
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:37:50 PM
Lets see here - the paint was not even dry on MY HOUSE - got married moved in and it was 1/2 her house - wow.

Ok - lets say she is a nice average looking/normal female. About six months.

Ok - lets say she is a nice cute looking/normal female. About four months.

Ok - lets say she is Diane Lane - About 22.5 seconds.
 Cevyn
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 59
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 1/26/2009 12:52:25 PM
I tried it after 6 months of going out....and it was a disaster. I agree with most of the sentiment here, it depends on the people and there is no rule.
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 61
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:25:08 AM
Whenever both of you feel its right and all that... but i personally would wait at least 1 year before concidering it.
 Science__Geek
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 66
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 2/25/2012 5:00:58 AM
This topic is long dead, but I thought I'd add my perspective.

There should definitely be a get to know period. If you were already good friends with your partner before becoming romantic, of course that get-to-know period can be shortened. Once you are sure you are compatible with the person, and are relatively confident you want to come home to them every day, I'd say you're ready to go.

Every situation is different. Waiting a year for each step, like posted above, is going to be too much for some people who are on a deadline, as trite as that sounds. I recently started a new relationship with a great girl, whom I'm madly in love with (though I haven't dropped the L word yet, it's only been a few weeks). I'm not 100% sure we're move-in-get-married-have-kids compatible, but I think and hope we might be.

My point is, we're both 33 and have each independently decided previously that if we don't have any kids by 36, we're not going to have any, for various health, economic and lifestyle reasons. Neither of us is baby-crazy, but it is something we both think about.

If we were to do all the traditional steps and wait a year to move in, a year to get married and a year to start trying for a baby, which would then take almost a year to arrive, even best case, we'd be past our self-imposed deadlines. I'm not going to flash fry the relationship and ask her to move in and get married this week, but we had to be very up front at the beginning. If this is going to be serious, that's where we both want to be in a couple years, so we have to get on track.

In our case, I own my own house and she rents. Once she and I are together for as little as 3-4 months (which would put us in June or July, prime moving weather) I'd probably ask her to move in to my house. If that works out, I'd probably ask her to either get married (if we decided we wanted to be married, its hard to say, we're both fairly non-religious and unworried about stigma or traditions..) or skip right to trying for a baby within a year or so of her moving in.

Long story short, everyone is different, and you need to look at your goals and aspirations for life and what fits your schedule. Don't try to move in with anyone just because you're lonely, but rather because you want to be around your partner all the time and want to see them every day.

I've only known my new lady for a few weeks, and I know I may have the new-relationship-goggles on, but I absolutely adore her. She's quite literally my best friend, as well as a great girlfriend. We love many of the same activities, and laugh at the same jokes, and all the other Hallmark stuff. I love the opening stages of the relationship, otherwise I'd probably wish I could fast forward to seeing her every day and sharing a bed every night.

And yes, I met her through POF. Thank you!
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 67
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:05:15 AM
Never! Why bother? It eventually ends and then one of you,or both of you,have to go through the annoyance of moving all over again.
 newlysingle31
Joined: 12/14/2011
Msg: 68
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 2/25/2012 8:19:50 AM
Wait for a year or two. As someone else here said, until the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over.

Even then, wait for a while. Have sleepovers, and maybe sleepover weekends. This will give you a glimpse of some of those small things that you don't see until you live with someone. i.e. do they make the bed in the morning or not? Do they pick up after themselves? Leave laundry laying around? Have an inability to cook? Tend to leave dishes in the sink instead of cleaning them? etc...

It's a good thing to try and find these things out ASAP. You'd be surprised how much of a difference these little things make, especially if the other person can't/won't change the ones that bother you.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 69
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/5/2012 11:22:14 AM
The man I am with believes that a relationship can not move forward fully until we are both living together. I believe differently. We've only been dating about 9 months. Last time I moved into a boyfriends house, the relationship went sour. Not to mention the family issues that I had reguarding religious issues..blah blah. Very stressful time for me.

I like the idea of living with someone that I love before marriage due to the fact that we can learn each other's quirks and see how well we live together, but I am not ready at this point. I am getting ready to start college at the ripe age of 35 PLUS working full time, so in my opinion this would be a distraction, but he doesn't "get it". He bothers me EVERY day with the moving in thing. I understand he's lonely in a big ole house, but I am there constantly without having to live there. I keep telling him that it's not time, and we need to grow some more together before, but he feels differently. He even stated that I didn't have to pay a thing for a few months when or if I did move in (thats a plus for me right now, but still).

So, the answer to the OP's question is...when BOTH are ready for that commitment.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 70
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/5/2012 11:30:56 AM
To each his own, but studies show that couples that live together prior to marriage have a much higher divorce rate then couples that do not.
 Sissy2U
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 71
view profile
History
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/5/2012 12:50:34 PM
It varies from couple to couple. My ex-husband and I moved in together after dating for 3 months (it took a month before he kissed me!), lived together for a year and were married for 20 yrs. My ex-bf moved in after dating for 2 months and we were together for 4 1/2 yrs.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 72
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/6/2012 10:09:10 AM
The longer time frame the better!
Two different times a girl moved in with me after a couple three weeks,BIG mistake!
 SnowMoon2012
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 73
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/6/2012 11:11:47 AM
When he puts a ring on it... you say I do in front of a preacher and 200 of your closest friends and family...
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 74
How long should you wait before moving in together?
Posted: 5/6/2012 3:53:54 PM
^^ or........don't move in, just buy a house for someone you hate and skip the stuff in between.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How long should you wait before moving in together?