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 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 4
indian womenPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
well, i only date non-indian guys. and i'm indian....

i have been called the worst kind of racist...by indian men, b/c i choose not the date them....even though my preference is based on cultural behaviour and norms that i know of and have experienced firsthand and am not interested in being a part of. i engage, associate and do business with indian people...i just don't date them. oh well, a racist i must be....

out of curiousity, why do you ask?
 Ultrapig
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 7
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 4:02:38 PM
In some East Indian family Circles, it's very strongly disapproved
That can apply to just about any ethnic or religious group. It's about being insular and conservative I think. The poster's friend's experience may have been more about that than about them being from India.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 8
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 4:10:48 PM
grey has hit the button there...many indian families expect that their daughters will marry indian men - muslims, black, chinese, white are all frowned upon. so even though we may live in the west, many families still cling to old traditions - even so far as continuing to practice arranged marriages and trips to india to bring back appropriate brides/grooms.

i don't get along with any of my extended family as i felt they were too suffocating and controlling. it helps that my mother divorced my father when i was 18 so my father can't dictate what i do in my life. i'm not subservient, dependent or submissive. there's plenty i like about indian culture - the food, the clothes, some of the celebrations, etc. i'm fortunate enough to pick and choose to be a part of the stuff i like and ignore the stuff i don't.

....and damn beemer....a shame you live in vegas!
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 10
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 4:46:50 PM
djiane
same thing has happened in canada - a really famous case recently in vancouver,bc actually where her uncles had her killed b/c she married a guy who her family didn't approve of. he was indian but not the right "indian". and the families don't take it out on the guys...the women get the punishment for going against the family.

indian guys just tend to keep their white gfs as mistresses and marry according to family custom. or they simply marry who they want but feel family pressure about brides who are not indian.
 abyssdc1
Joined: 8/8/2004
Msg: 12
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History
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 6:19:52 PM
I went through the family problem thing, couldn`t really understand it though. I mean I treated her well, was kind, courteous of her religion and culture, did all I could to learn about it and even some of her language. Didn`t mean squat in her mothers eyes. Ahh, you live and learn.
 loghomesweet
Joined: 11/8/2004
Msg: 13
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 6:55:50 PM
hi my name is brian i would like to get to know you hope to here from you soon.
 abyssdc1
Joined: 8/8/2004
Msg: 15
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indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 7:31:41 PM
I hope to god that post was for singlemaltgirl
 Ultrapig
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 17
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 7:46:19 PM
re: I dunno, maybe he's interested in me Some folks, Dey jess wants the pink curly tail
 Ultrapig
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 18
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 7:48:53 PM
Iv'e heard of similarly awful things in renegade mormon cult sects. You're right though, what singlemalt describes is about as bad as it gets
 alienboy
Joined: 9/10/2004
Msg: 19
indian women
Posted: 4/13/2005 8:51:41 PM
That reminds me of an Indian girl I dated at school... man, she was amazing...

um... I'm sorry, what was the question again?
 Ultrapig
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 21
indian women
Posted: 4/14/2005 10:19:59 AM
conservatism is relative and the word can refer to many things. It was perhaps the wrong one. I do notice this behavior is more prevalant in large extended family or religious groups seeking to maitain the integrety of the unit. Groups attempting to form sub-societies. Ultra-orthodox Jewish sects are famous for this for instance.

[edited]
 Ultrapig
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 22
indian women
Posted: 4/14/2005 10:26:27 AM
re: desire10

hmm... no pic, 35, broken english, seeks intamate encounter, "If u free, please call."

Sorry buddy. Anyone answering that ad is defintiely not going to be free. I don't think they will take a check either.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 23
indian women
Posted: 4/14/2005 7:53:43 PM
greyymatter - just as an aside, i've come across a few of your posts and find them to be well thought out and informed opinions. i enjoy reading them.

now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

it's strange that vancouver's indian population is as ultra conservative as it is. there are other indian communities across canada - particularly in toronto and montreal for instance, where these ultra conservative elements are not as predominant as they are in vancouver.
of course, there are more liberal strains of indians and their families - some may still frown on interracial dating but will accept it if their children achieve a lot of the other "successes" that are expected (ie. post secondary degrees, professional careers, etc.).

i'm just glad i've dodged that bullet. it means i don't have much of an extended family support network - but thankfully, i'm fairly independent and have done pretty much everything on my own. so i haven't had to answer to anyone for my life's choices.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 24
indian women
Posted: 4/14/2005 7:54:32 PM
and btw ultrapig - your profile and posts are hilarious. gosh, you make me laugh....
 avneesh
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 25
indian women
Posted: 4/22/2005 10:59:35 PM
hi me 22/m/delhi handsome want to have short term
 little imp
Joined: 10/29/2004
Msg: 27
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History
indian women
Posted: 4/28/2005 6:01:53 AM
I am half Indian. I have always been attraced to the same type since i was 15 years old : mousy brown hair (not blonde or brown .n between colour).

My parents have never had a problem with me dating 'white' men. My first long term relationship was with a white guy . Since then I have only been attracted to men who have his characteristics or look similar to him.


My younger brother tends to date afro Carribean girls. Where as my sister is not attracted to white men at all but dates Indian men only.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 28
indian women
Posted: 4/28/2005 2:53:03 PM
poppy...in general i agree with most of what you post.

but
And if you shud ever want to be with a black...you can basically kiss goodbye to your family for life. Plus indians are not attracted to those looks.


i'm indian and i love tall broad shouldered black men. i am very attracted to their looks....
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 29
indian women
Posted: 4/28/2005 4:28:02 PM

I suppose there has to be a first somewhere but I am speaking in general terms...you know that Indians generally ARE NOT attracted to those looks.


sorry poppy, i don't agree. i know culture and custom dictates that indian DON'T date, or marry black, moslem or other nationalities - generally speaking - but i don't think it has to do with attraction. it's about acceptability. just like a white guy who had a blue collar job and a high school education wouldn't be "acceptable" to most indian families...neither would a black man. moslems b/c of historical and religious stuff...not b/c of the way they look.

bc indians - or at least those in vancouver, tend to be fairly conservative. in fact, the lower mainland (southwest coast of bc) has one of the largest conservative indian communities in the country. what goes on there is sad and pathetic. one would hope that some of the liberalism of the west would infiltrate some of the backwardness of conservative indian customs. it's unfortunate that it doesn't in all areas of the community.
 ruggeri
Joined: 4/27/2005
Msg: 30
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History
indian women
Posted: 4/29/2005 12:19:02 AM
I had a boss who i got along really well with, and he was of east indian disent and had three daughters. Two were in highschool and one was in college. I was messing with him because i understand how indians and muslim people think, so i asked him what would happen if one of your daughters dated a white guy and he said with a big grin,"its a free country she can do anything she wants, but then she has to pay for her own college and find her own place" Then we all had a big laugh because that is a nice way to say if one of his daughters married an outsider or dated one she would be an outcast. I totally respect that. With muslims its quite another thing. Even if your good friends with one you should never inquire about dating one of there female because there could possibly be a violent outcome.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 31
indian women
Posted: 4/29/2005 8:25:44 AM
poppy -
am sorry that you are offended in any way but i do dispute that you label BC Indians as "backward" and unliberal bcuz they wont accept blacks as partners.


i do not label bc indians as backward and unliberal b/c they won't accept blacks as partners. i wrote that there was a large ultra conservative indian community in the lower mainland...
i wrote that indians - generally speaking - may not find a black person acceptable as a partner - but that it didn't have to do with physical "attraction" so much as it has to do with acceptability...

poppy - just b/c you don't find black features attractive does not speak for all indians. although, generally speaking, i do know of many indians (dark and fairer skinned, who prefer fairer skin in their partners as more desirable)

and i don't know where you came to the conclusion that i somewhere said that liberalism and education meant that you accepted any and every partner...but ignorance and ultra conservatism may mean that you simply choose a partner based on limited and narrow minded criteria (ie. simply based on ethnic origins instead of considering level of education, common interests and values, similar views on child rearing, physical chemistry, etc.).

i also know of a couple of indian girls who pretty much only date blacks and asians - definitely not indians. i know of blacks who usually date every girl but black girls. and i know of asians who date every girl but asian girls. everyone has their own preference but those preferences have more substance than just a colour of skin - it has to do with values, confidence, education, and other commonalities.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 32
indian women
Posted: 4/29/2005 1:35:05 PM
poppy - relax. i was not attacking you personally. the only comment that i specifically directed at you was the one about you not being attracted to "black" looks.

as for accepting "all comers" - if you base a dating preference based on the race of a person then i think that would be considered being racist. and racism is born of ignorance.

and of course i'm going to be biased based on my experiences - just as you are biased by your experiences. but you made many generalizations in your posts and you came out as really racist when i don't think that's what you're about at all. i was trying to rationalize your reasons b/c i thought they were more than just race.

i didn't mean to imply that you were ultra conservative or ignorant and if it came out that way, i apologize. i understand you choose to date indians for a number of reasons - NOT just race - but b/c you feel more comfortable with someone who understands your traditions, moral codes, upbringing, etc. i'm not arguing with you about that. in your attack about me being from a broken home and being a single parent you did eventually explain your reasons for why you'd date another indian....which had nothing to do with race! so i'm glad that eventually, you came out with some rational solid grounds for why you'd date and marry an indian.

by the way, my (an indian) mom married an indian man and that's who she divorced after 20 years...so indian marriages are not 100% fool proof. and being a single parent has not caused me to be bitter about indians - my son's father is swedish and we were never married so perhaps i should be bitter towards the swedes, but i'm not.

anyway, i'm not here to attack you. that's not my style. i would much rather debate the issue than make a personal attack. and i only post to provide an opinion on an issue, not a person or to understand another post or where a poster is coming from.
 Singlemaltgirl
Joined: 12/31/2004
Msg: 33
indian women
Posted: 4/29/2005 1:35:18 PM
poppy - i'd encourage you to go back and re-read that post you responded to. it was in answer to your previous post and was never aimed at you as an attack of YOUR specific experiences.


and i don't know where you came to the conclusion that i somewhere said that liberalism and education meant that you accepted any and every partner...but ignorance and ultra conservatism may mean that you simply choose a partner based on limited and narrow minded criteria (ie. simply based on ethnic origins instead of considering level of education, common interests and values, similar views on child rearing, physical chemistry, etc.).


i wrote that i DIDN'T think liberalism and education meant that you accepted every partner...and i quote...but you shouldn't dismiss every partner based on ethnicity....since most would call that being racist.


 sayonara7
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 34
indian women
Posted: 4/11/2006 8:28:54 PM
I've been called Indian,Egyptian, Hispanic and even Bosnian by people who don't know where I'm from, and I'm not black or white, but having said that I wouldn't marry an Indian or an Asian guy, not because I'm a racist, I'm not. I'm Asian myself(note:by Asian I mean people from any country in Asia, including Russia for some of those who don't know geography very well.)I think they like and want submissive women and women who can dance like puppets to their every whim, and damn me to hell if I follow that.So, that's why I wouldn't marry one.I'm sure there are exceptions, but that is the general rule.Don't even lecture me on this, because I come from that part of the world and I know what I'm saying
indian women
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:06:38 PM
If I ruled the world, I would make everyone sex someone from another race. Untill we have just one race and eliminate racism...........I know it's kinda harsh, but I doubt I'll have the chance to rule the world.
 Baber.
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 36
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History
indian women
Posted: 7/6/2007 3:00:39 AM
Well singlemaltgirl I can totally understand where you come from when it comes to "indian-men" but you have to remember you're making a severe genearlization (for whatever that may be).

Of course not all of us are going to be the same egocentric, androcentric, patriarchal,sexist, and racist folk that you may assume eastern culture has taught us to be.

With that said I would never date an indian girl (or any woman for that matter) that didn't know the basic necessity of having respect for men.

It' takes two to tango right?

And as for white men being frustrated about not getting enough action from our hot laides, guy relax.. there's plenty of fish in the sea for you to enjoy the spoils. There are white girls amongst you for us to enjoy and you vice versa, nothing you can really do to stop it.

I repsect and adore indian/paksitani/desi women that reserve themselves for guys like us. Afterall we've been raised up our entire lives, indian movies, culture, lanuage, food.. just to marry them and treat them as the queens they are.
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