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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?      Home login  
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 lovin2blivin
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 3
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm not sure about this, but I think there are several emotions that get labelled as depression, but in reality they don't fit the definition. Depression is suppose to be 'anger turned inward'. However, I think as we age, we go through periods of grieving. Semantics? I'm not sure.
Maybe we go through a 'mixture' of emotions. If we look at our bodies change and experience limitations as to what we were able to once accomplish in youth, we can become angry with the 'aging process' which if consciously or unconsciously prolonged can lead to depression. However, with age comes fewer things to celebrate and more things that seem to be taken away, like friends and family. Instead of going to marriages, we attend funerals. We can grieve for the people who we once knew and have passed on, which is normal. With sadness and grief, there is a beginning and an end.

Not everyone who is sad or grieving is depressed. If life hands you a 'turkey', you can get angry and express it or use the energy to do something about it or keep it inside. Thinking that you are the cause of your own misfortunes can lead to messages to yourself that you are somehow 'no good' and that becomes depression. If it is short lived, it is a bout of depression, if it presists it can be labelled 'clinical depression'. There is also 'reactive depression' which is when you are reacting to a situation in which you are treated as being 'less than'. Once you are out of this situation the depression usually fades as you are no longer subjected to the 'abuse'.

Constant exposure to negativity can undermine feelings of hope and self worth. Depression sneaks in if we allow it. Dwelling on what we have lost instead of enjoying what we have is the greatest danger to our own well being. When we were younger, most of us didn't entertain thoughts about dying, or that some day what we have will be taken away. As we age, this becomes a reality that extends beyond our own mortality to all the people who are a part of our lives and some we have taken for granted.

It seems 'pills' for depression are handed out more often than any other remedy. Loneliness is a major factor. If a person feels that they are no longer needed or loved or there is no 'purpose' to their being, lack of appetite, sleeplessness and constant anxiety can set in. If your feelings of 'control' over your own life are threatened by mental or physical challenges, your sense of 'dignity' can be compromised.

Having said all this, we do have choices! For those who are starting to see changes in their lives that are 'signs' of depression, we can become pro-active and take steps to improve our situation by getting involved in something that is of interest to us and involves interacting with other people. However, once it has a firm grip on your life, the ability to take action becomes more difficult.

The good news is: depression doesn't have to become a part of our lives as we age. As was stated in another forum: change the thinking=change the feeling=change the behavior. We may feel more prone to it but the key is in recognition, finding something that makes you feel connected to others and gratitude.

 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 7:26:32 AM
Good topic OP.

Like many, I have been widowed at a far to young an age. Generally, I don't consider become a widow to be a case of depression. My doctor once said to me that being upset because a circumstance like being widowed has occurred isn't the same as being despressed. I have to agree with him. It is more about being frustrated about being in a circumstance that can't fixed and must be accepted when be really don't want to.

The catch 22 circumstances that we find ourselves in are another frustration that we need to recognize before they turn into depression. Generally frustrations leads us to action, while depression lead us to inaction.

I can understand when we reach true old age, (80's and up) many of people do get depressed with such things as most of their friends having already passed, and the inability to physically do the things that they want/need to do.

My current frustration/catch 22 is the downsizing issue. I want to cut down on my work hours so that I can travel more. Downsizing where I live to have more money available means leaving a home that I love. Making the wrong decision about buying a new property is scary business to me. Add to that the process of buying and selling could lead to stress which could lead to depression if we aren't careful.

Winter is a big reason for minor depression for some of us. I survive winter by counting the weeks off till it goes away, and by going south a couple of time.

I am looking forward to reading the comments to this topic, as I am sure that things will come up that I haven't thought of.
 ~1happywoman~
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 5
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:06:50 AM
Depression can be related to changes in chemical balances in the brain, and that can occur with aging. My mother has been clinically depressed for as long as I can remember, and refuses to try any kind of pharmacologic help with this. She insists she can "help herself". It hasn't worked in the last 40 years, as far as I can tell.

As pointed out, most people would characterize depression as "feeling blue". That is not always what it is. Everyone has times like that and it is normal. Men, in particular, will deny depression more than women. Fatigue, lack of motivation, anger, irritability - can all be signs of depression. (Sub-clinical testosterone levels can sometimes be the cause.)

I don't understand why people are so resistant to at least trying an antidepressant, or even talking to a doctor about depression. It is certainly not a failure of some type. It's almost like saying you don't want to take insulin to treat diabetes because you think you can fix it yourself. Sometimes antidepressants can help in a short term acute situation. I had that happen with my younger son. After a couple of months and seeing him not be able to bounce back after a certain traumatic event, I had him talk to his doctor. Six months on an antidepressant made a huge difference, and when he didn't think he needed it any more, he was weaned off and did just fine. Are people afraid of being "hooked" on something? Even so, if being "hooked" on something makes you feel better and function better day to day, what is wrong with that?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 6
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:38:25 AM
In our North American society, antidpressants are handed out like candy. Some drug manufactures are on a mission to have all people on at least three "maintenance" drug for life.

In my late 20's, after loosing two babies and multiple surgeries to save my life, traditional medine thought it natural that I take antidepressants. I thank my lucky stars for a doctor who told me that in life we need to accept what life hands out, not dull our senses as a coping tool. Using drugs so we don't care about a situation won't help us to find the strength to deal with the problem. Now, I am taking about situation, not someone who suffers from a chemical imbalance. Chemical imbalances are a completely different situation.

Recognizing the difference between depression, and a situation that needs acceptance or some kind of action on our part can be difficult, but is necessary.
 lovin2blivin
Joined: 6/27/2006
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:51:36 AM
I have no problem with people who take antidepressants. Yes, there seems to be a 'stigma' attached to those who take them, but doctors are aware of this and have called them other names, like sleeping pills, anxiety pills etc. They seemed to be so freely dispensed, as far as I've experienced, that people who are experiencing anything that appears negative, get prescribed antidepressants.
If they are used properly by those who are having problems functioning they can make a huge difference and be of great benefit.
My main fear is that we have become a 'pill popping' generation that looks to medications to cure all our 'negative' feelings. Pills to get us moving and pills to get us to sleep, pills for loneliness and pills for sadness, pills to counter-act the side effects of the pills we are taking. Pills to supplement the foods we are not eating and pills to decrease the appitite of those who over eat. Pills to calm down the over active and pills to 'energize' the inactive.
Some people just need to feel they are not alone, that they matter. Pills have side effects but companionship will not be found in a bottle. When all else fails, medication may be the answer...but for the most part I think more attention should be given to the 'cause/root' of the problem rather than handing out a 'quick fix' when there is no chemical imbalance involved. JMO
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 9:45:02 AM
Side effects are a big reason not to take unnecessary medication of any kind. The death rate from side effects of presciption medication in North America is staggering.

A lot of this topic depends on where we have been in life. A person who has had a relatively problem free existance, who then experiences a trama of some description has not got experience to guide them as to whether they are truly depressed or whether the situation is something that they can work through.

Those who have had many serious problems over the course of their lives can more easily recognize what they are feeling and why. Most importantly they have to self confidence to know that they have dealt with very difficult things in the past, worked through them, and come out better off for it.
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 10
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:28:34 AM
Depression is often confused with other maladies, e.g. boredom, low self-esteem. Take some omega-3.

And discover for yourself a mind-driven life. Not one based on impulse or living in the past. Either live in the present. Or suffer the consequences. Read Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. He says most troubles occur when folks don't live in the moment. The now.

Also make it a point to step outside the box, often. Make sure you avoid the same comfort level that resulted in your current predicament. If something doesn't challenge you, it's probably because it's your usual thing.



 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 12
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 12:13:15 PM
If you are going to die today without medication, then of course take them. Bear in mind that almost all medication will cause future damage to the liver etc. Balancing how badly we need medication is important. Can we deal with the situation without medication? Can we do anything about our lifestyle that will help to improve the situation? Can we improve our attitude of acceptance of life's problems?

What I know for sure it that without having several very close long term friends who's support(even if their support is only knowing that they care about me) is my safety net, I don't know how I would have been able to cope with several of life's bad times without friends.

I think it is quite common for us to marry when we are young, and forcus on the marriage to such an extent that we loose contact with our friends. We move to other places and because we have a s/o, we don't make close friends because our s/o, career etc. take up all our time. Then for whatever reason our lifestyle falls apart. If we have a history of having a fairly problem free life, we are left with no clue of how to deal with our current problems and frustration, and possibly depression takes over.

If we are lucky, little by little future friends come into our lives, we learn to cope, and the situation continues to improve.

Next time a bad situation occurs, we say to ourselves ok it sucks, but we will pick ourselves up with the help of the circle of friends support and we move on more quickly.

I believe that good self esteem is huge saving grace that protect us for living in the past, and blaming ourselves for problems that are not of our doing. It gives us the tools we need to move past our problems, into a balanced situation.
 Annie 10
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 14
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 4:08:07 PM
Very interesting thread.

I have suffered from clinical depression in my younger years. It was truly devastating...couldn't get off the couch...couldn't work or take care of my children. After treatment with antidepressants (it sometimes involves trying different meds to find the one that works for you) I have recovered my joy for living.

There is a big difference between a chemical imbalance and a milder form of depression caused by a particular situation in life ie. the loss of a loved one, job, friend etc.

To my knowledge, a chemical imbalance will not rectify itself and can be life threatening. A situational depression may require short term medication but mainly will be cured by time, a lifestyle change or most importantly an attitude ajustment.

I find that I experience less depression as I age because I am much more self-aware than when I was younger. I live a healthier lifestyle...lots of fresh fruit and veggies (expensive here in the winter) and exercise.

I now know that if I am feeling down I need to get up and out...spend time with friends, do something for someone else, and always be grateful for what I have that is positive in my life.

I am sometimes lonely as I lost my husband a year ago, sometimes sad as I have lost friends
far too young but I refuse to be depressed.

It is also easier once we women get off the hormonal rollercoaster...so there are some advantages to getting older.

Learn to listen to your body and give it what it needs...proper nutrition, exercise and fresh air
and grateful attitude.

Life is good....lets enjoy what we have. IMO
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 16
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 6:54:04 PM
Well I was in the dumpster for a loooooooooooong time. I finally took action and now have a pretty dang positive outlook.

I will say - Kansas City is having a far below average temp winter. Day after day after day of cold gloomy weather don’t help much.

This was the first time in years and years that I was not able to get out on my motorcycle a few times in January. We got to 36 today for a bit and it seemed like August or something. The very same ice on my deck has been there for over two months.

I will say that as the days/months pass my “looking” gets less and less and less. Four years ago I actually looked (for a two way match) and the effort just keeps dwindling down. I sent like three emails last year (that were not replies to incoming emails).

I’ve been so involved in self improvement that I really have not even noticed there is no one around me lol. I did 10 hours with Dale Carnegie today. Thirty six hours with Anthony Robbins right before that and on and on and on for the last seven or so months.

Being down in the dumps wracks havoc on your physical self never mind your mental picture. The stress alone causes toxic chemicals in your body. That stems from the fight or flight we have in us. Continued exposure (stress/depression) causes excessive release of those chemicals and they are very harsh. Same goes for angry types.
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 17
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:30:43 PM
I was born with depression and find the older I get, the less I have to deal with it by learning the signs and behaviors.
I think mostly people avoid depression through a self denial process of expounding on how great life is. Some, to the point of exaggerating how great it is, to compensate for or avoid those times when they actually feel how lonely they can be. As they grow older and the myths and fairy tales fade away, they become more aware of the feeling of being lonely. So, it seems like depression is setting in rather than seeing it was there all the time.
It's the awareness sneaking in.
When life puts your brain into a state of low seritonin for extended periods, the body learns to live in a state of depression and reduces the output of it. Low seritonin levels actually slow the time signals take to pass from nerve to nerve, therefore the nerves are in a depressed state.
Certain low metabolic conditions that worsen with age can cause depression as well as many other factors can cause it.
Having said that, I won't play doctor and encourage or discourage you from benefiting from the advances in chemistry that can help you from having to live in misery.

It's perfectly OK to admit to or wonder about such feelings and not admitting to it is a form of mental disturbance itself.

Ever wonder why it's the paranoid types that think there's a plot associated with medicines?
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 19
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:14:09 AM
for a lot of people with clinical depression, coming out of the teen years or into the menapausal years brings relief as the hormonal imbalances stabilize. i do believe that more should be done on male hormone balancing, as clearly men go through a lot as they approach the 50's. the man i was dating had a double dose of this (male menapause) and what i observed to be seasonal affective disorder. as with many other men, he's reluctant to take prescription meds and is considering, SAM-e, saint john's wort and/or tryptophan as suggested by an eclectic physician.

the sun is beginning to tease us with her smile and he seems to feel better emotionally, although physically he still hurts and as a contractor, that's a problem for him. as for me, i find i am feeling better as i get older, although wish i were younger. however, i think it's more situational as getting divorced has been a relief and fost/adopting three teens almost put me in the loony bin alongside my eldest! but even she is evening out hormonally and beginning to sound rational, although she shares the ex-manfriend's fear of prescription drugs, so she chose to self medicate with crystal meth instead! now that she's off that, she is somewhat fearful to venture forth. both are quite smart, however, and i believe each will make it in his/her own time--not my time, however! and "there's the rub", as shakespeare has duly noted.
 foxydmpls
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 20
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 6:04:23 AM
Lady T

I AGREE WITH YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY. WHERE DOES ALL OF THESE DEPRESSED PEOPLE COME FROM? THE ONLY TIME I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED IS READING ALL OF THIS DEPRESSING CRAP FROM THESE SO DEPRESSED PEOPLE. WHAT THEY NEED TO D IS GET A LIFE!!! I AM FIFTY-TWO YEARS OLD, AND NO WAY I AM DEPRESSED. I TAKE IT AS A MILESTONE AND A BLESSING FROM GOD TO HAVE LIVED THIS AGE.

I WORK OUT, WORK, AND ENJOY MY GRANDCHILDREN. MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED A THE AGE OF 30 AND I HAVE RAISED TWO WONDERFUL CHILDREN, BOTH FINISH HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE. NOW, WHY FO I HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED???? TO ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE SO DEPRESSED, GET ON YOUR BUTT AND THANK GOD THAT YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, AND LIVE TO THE FULLEST. THIS HAS BEEN A TIME THAT I HAVE WAITED FOR. (1) BEEN THROUGH MENOPAUSE, GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN, BUT HAVING FUN WITH THE MEN (2) NO MORE BABIES, THAN GOD THAT MEANS NO SEARCHING FOR A BABYSITTER, (3) I CAN GO WHEN I WANT, ANYTIME I WANT TO. I JUST WANT, AND NOT NEED A MANTO FULFILL MY LIFE, THAT HAS BEEN DONE ALREADY, JUST SOMEONE TO LIVE MY LAST YEARS OUT WITH(SMILE), SO LADY T, WE MUST GOT IT GOING ON GIRL,BECAUSE AS THE SONG GOES "AIN'T N STOPPING US NOW"".
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 21
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 7:48:57 AM
There is a big difference between being clinically depressed, and being sad over difficult life situations.

It must be extremely difficult to deal with clinical depression, - more power to those who stuggle with it.

Some of us were blessed not to suffer with clinical depression, but some times life gets to us, and we feel sorry for ourselves when a lot of things pile up one after another. That is only part of being human. If we handle the piles of problems with a bad attitude, we will get ourselves it a world of sadness. If we think about all that we do have, and how other are far worse off than we are, then our attitude will improve. Letting the dust settle a bit, take a deep breath, and get to work on fixing what is in our control and the feelings of sadness disappears.

I agree with Lady T's attitude.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:43:51 AM
I am going to give foxy the benefit of the doubt - meaning I am assuming that she was refering to people who love their misery. We have all met them. My late husband's mother was in her glory when she was demoaning a certain illness (that she didn't really have), and tell the latest gory story of the garbage man's son exfriend who had the worse disease. I often watched her have peeing contests with people who were really suffering from some a disease. Her symptoms were always worse than anyone else etc.

There are some people who wouldn't have a life if they didn't have something to complain about, and had the attitude to match.

 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 24
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:32:54 PM
saying where do all these people come from (with depression), is like saying where does all this diabetes come from? all this cancer? all this heart disease? yes, there are lazy people and people who choose not to take life on, but that's not what clinically depressed people are talking about. and there's the confusion within this thread, asking if age makes you more depressed. well for some, yes and for some no. and for some, they just mean life is getting them down and for some they are talking about a physiological depression that cannot be self regulated w/o it's parallel to insulin, chemotherapy, pacemaker. only we are talking medication with respect to clinical depression. just like diabetes, cancer and heart disease, the latter has heridity, environmental, hormonal, neurological, economic and stress related factors. support system is also a factor and for some who are aging and without a support system (let alone struggling economically), that might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 25
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:57:14 PM

It doesn't make any more sense to me than taking up your livingroom carpet, hanging it on the clothesline and beating it with a tennis racket instead of using a vacuum.

But I SO enjoy beating the h-out of my carpet! As a preventative for depression, and and alleviator of frustration, beating your living room rug is unparallelled!

So I think all older people should beat a carpet, or run a marathon,or take up swing dancing, or T'ai Chi, or volunteer for a cause they care about...don't just stand there and be depressed. DO something!

OK now that I've gotten THAT out of my system, yes I think that sometimes older people need to have an awareness of how easy it can be to become isolated and slip into depression.
As far as dating/romance/relationships, that is guaranteed to be an exercise in frustration if we ALLOW the situation to "get our goat" so to speak.So stay connected, stay active and keep your goat on a leash at all times, and good things will come to you!
Cindy O
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 5:35:32 PM
" support system is also a factor and for some who are aging and without a support system (let alone struggling economically), that might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back."

I have been without a real support system at times in my life. Don't know how I survived. Don't think I could do it long term.

Young or old, I think that without a support system long term depression will set in, and be very difficult to control.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 27
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 8:25:11 PM
i don't have depression, but i work hard each time i move or have significant life changes to create and develop a support system. as an only child, i have not had a family network. the best it's been for me is when i lived in a small new jersey town and the neigbhors were so supportive of the community that we were able to keep elderly out of nursing homes and often took the place of family members in each other's lives. over a long span of years, i've had al anon when confronted with alcoholism of family members, i've inititiated neighborhood watch, i've created and joined existing support groups for fost/adopt moms, etc. etc.

of course when i worked, that was a world in and of itself of connections and affirming collegues. now i am taking a back seat. joined local "meetup" groups, working hard on making new friends, etc. it doesn't come to me, i have to work it. it's sometimes very hard and often i feel like an outsider, but more ofen i feel supported and involved.

with clinical depression, i think the meds level the playing field. but it might be necessary to get therapy or group therapy, to get yourself to go forward into the world and get what you need. not everyone can join a gym, but perhaps a volunteer job or whatever gives you something to belong to. meetup even has an introvert group where they take refuge from the rest of us!
 Wrenchspinner
Joined: 10/19/2004
Msg: 28
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 8:36:59 PM
I feel fortunate in that depression has never graced my days for any long stretches but when I've been in that realm I do know it's a pretty lousy way to live life. Only once did I reach a point where I began to suspect clinical depression as the root of my funk, yet within a few days the cloud began to lift and it was full steam ahead again.

I'm sure there are others here who've experienced clinical depression in a lover/life partner along with the frustration and emotional rollercoaster ride that can become a part of your life, especially if they choose not to pursue treatment.

My last wife was diagnosed with it from a simple check up with her doctor and after only a bit of dosing adjustment made a significant change in her demeanor and daily outlook on the world. Then she began to bemoan the costs and stated that it made her feel inherently "broken" that she should need such a maintenance med and quit taking it. Within about 3 days I watched her moods again head south and within a week off the Zoloft she sank back to the exact same state that had led to her being prescribed the medicine in the 1st place.

I had to chuckle reading an above post since I tried the analogy of diabetics simply deciding to stop their insulin dosing simply because they might feel similarly in being required to take a maintenance med, but it was to no avail.

The rollercoaster ride eventually became too much and led to our demise as a couple .... sad :>(

Kim
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 29
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:54:19 PM
Some of the worst things about depression are seeing others with it but refuse to acknowledge it causing other character flaws through the denials.

Overly judgmental, quick to anger, boasting about one's station in life and personal character and justifying a lack of being able to establish close relationships. are signs to me that an individual is depressed but compensating for it by trying to convince themselves of their own sanity.

The difficulty with these people is they refuse to believe they have a problem and find a way to blame their feelings on others as a way to avoid facing their own problems.

It takes a bit of strength to admit having a problem and then working on it instead of finding faults in others.
 Hegadil
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 30
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:57:15 PM
Well, here's an interesting statistic from the AARP, March/April 07, hardly a downbeat publication. In an article on optimism, they list four activities and level of optimism about it. Ten is high score.
One activity is dating:

Age 20-29_ 8.25

Age 30-39_ 7.75

Age 40-64_ 2.0

ge 65-100 _ 9.85
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 31
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/14/2007 1:26:27 AM
tierran52, i'd be interested in seeing those age cohorts in consistent groups of ten year spread. suddenly ages 40-64 are all lumped together? and is the defintion about optimism defined as being optimistic about dating potential or being optimistic irrespective of whether one dates or not? i've spent a lot of years on data analysis and i sorely question that stat! but then again we are talking about aarp and they have an agenda to sell, i guess. maybe they didn't have enough people in the groups so had to spread them out?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 32
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Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:23:28 AM
WE may not want to accept our inabilities, but accept we must - or at least, find another way to fullfil our needs.
 flowerforce
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 33
Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?
Posted: 2/14/2007 2:24:32 PM
Hi Claypot
I think you are mixing up depression with sadness. Clinical depression has to do with an absence of feeling it is like a black hole people fall into. Situational depression is often described as anger turned inward on the self. In a world the upholds the two by two mandate it is easy to become sad about being alone. I think it is frustraiting and sometimes painful emailing, going for coffee and perhaps dateing people having hope - having it dashed for one reason or another.
Somtimes it seems our Mr or MS wonderful will never come along and that hurts.
Often we go into what's wrong with me/ im/her because it does not appear to be happening for us out there in the dateing world. And the platitudes, wellment advice and blame from friends an aquaintences we can well do without.
All I can say is for every saddening, painful, frustraiting experience you have you are one step closer to finding a mate. One step closer to finding the love of your life.
Also alone is hard but it need not be loanly especially if you love and care for yourself. if you are having trouble and your zest for life is missing find a counsellor and get your zest back. A good relationship is just iceing on the cake and plain cake is just as good.
Good luck in finding the right person for you.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do you believe the older we get, depression sneaks in?