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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 8
Hypothetical questionPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I think finding someone that you connect with like this should be really explored.

Living 4 hours apart in the big picture is so little to overcome. you obviously can't see each other as much as you want to, but you can make up for that by making sure the time you do spent together is really quality time......Your relationship will be based on quality over quantity.

Long distance relationships can work, but they take more work that a normal relationship.
You guys already have the big part figured out, you already made the connection and have the right chemistry. Don't let a little thing like a 4 hour drive stop you from seeing where this might wind up.
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 9
Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 4:16:56 PM
I was in a similar situation in my last relationship. I met a great lady on a flight to Toronto, we hit it off instantly and that lasted about 18 months, honestly the huge distance was too much to overcome. But she was living a 5.5 hour plane ride away, i would not even look at a 4 hour drive as a long distance relationship, that's just a minor obstacle.

Situations change, either one of you might not be able to relocate now, but who can predict the future. If you guys fall in love, you would be suprised how a little thing like distance can work itself out.
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 18
Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 8:37:43 PM
I have had long distance relationships in the past. It is my experience that they do not work. If one party is not willing to up and move (and sometimes that is VERY difficult) then it just won't work long term for most people.

I have a rule that if I am not willing to eventually be the one to make the move closer then I do not have a relationship that far.

Just my opinion...
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 20
Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/14/2007 6:07:22 AM
That is exactly my point Who the fox, four fours is just a very short drive, if the meet half way it's a hop skip and jump. I can only dream of meeting someone i really connect with that lives that close to me.

OP download a song by Jerry Butler called " Girl in his mind" and listen to it or read the words, might give you a different outlook on this distance thing.
 johnny prophet
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 24
view profile
Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/15/2007 9:39:06 AM

SHE SAID: I have a rule that if I am not willing to eventually be the one to make the move closer then I do not have a relationship that far.
HE REPLIED: I wouldn't follow this advice to the letter. What if your lover is a salesperson who covers a territory and can easily move?

I don't think she was saying that her rule was that she WOULD MOVE, but that she would be WILLING TO MOVE. Meaning, if both parties had that same willingness, (#1, they'd be a better match for each other) then they can discuss it and decide which way to go about it.
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 31
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/19/2007 2:31:23 PM
I would say its a love not meant to be . If neither can move to the other than whats the point . Cherish those fond memories and wish each other luck and move on .
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 32
view profile
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/19/2007 2:49:20 PM
Hypohetical answer.
Make sure you both don't feel this way precisely because you can. Just because of the improbability of it all working out you are free to let things go to that "I am on vacation" "summer holiday" place where the intensity is bolstered by the "liquid courage" of distance.
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 34
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:05:11 PM
start with alternating weekends in each other's town.

if you are still together after several months things may start to take shape and a way to relocate might just come up.

take it slow, a rash decision will take a long time to recover from

and if it's meant to be, you'll have the rest of your life to enjoy each other's company
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 38
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/19/2007 3:57:53 PM
I have to agree with Carella.

...don't go looking for trouble and stay local. Even an hour away is too long for me.

I make that clear from the outset. It just throws an extra measure of difficulty into the mix.
If I happen to meet someone and it turns out they are not local, that is different. The internet makes it too easy to look outside an area that seems realistic to me, so I choose to be careful about that.

Having said that, it has no bearing on your situation.

It's soooooooooooo easy to think someone is wonderful in a short period of time. Everyone's on their best behaviour, the rose-coloured glasses haven't been knocked off of anyone's face yet. I think it's unrealistic for someone to think they have an emotional attachment to another person after a couple of days.

I am recently out of a marriage that began with infatuation, similar to what it sounds like you are experiencing. To be fair, my ex and I were both just finished with divorces, and we leapt into a double rebound relationship.
Despite all the advice from friends, both families, and counselors, we choose to ignore it all and get married.
I think it was only a matter of months after we began to live together that everything deteriorated rapidly. We both knew it; we both pretended not to notice. For eight years. I felt a sense of obligation to my ex and her then almost eight year old daughter.
I can honestly say that it was the worst mistake of my life, and I feel it is likely also the worst mistake of her life.
I hope that your situation is nothing like mine was. I hope that you are one of the lucky couples who just happened to meet and find each other to be perfectly compatible for the long term. I simply suggest that you listen to people who are close to you when they make observations and comments.

Good luck, best wishes, and have fun.
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 42
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/20/2007 3:06:00 PM
This is great news----I'm soooooooo glad you didn't listen to the Negative Nellies and other nay sayers here. Come back in a few months or years and they'll still be here----looking for that special someone who probably lives on their own block!! LOL

Best Wishes!!
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 43
Hypothetical question
Posted: 6/20/2007 6:26:23 PM
Take turns going each way. Maybe some way will come up for one to move to the other's area.

On the other hand....

What if there were no hypothetical questions!

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