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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 1
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?Page 1 of 1    
I was just thinking....I see a lot of single parents on here looking to find a new mate and yet always complaining that no one wants to date single parents. Well...why aren't the single fathers and single mothers hooking up more? You'd think they would have more in common with each other then trying to hook up with childless singles. I mean...more events with a "Family" type setting would get you all together and have a chance to interact. This isn't a personal attack against single parents...just to clear that right now. Just a personal thought of someone that has no children...yet constantly sees this dilemma on the site all the time. Why aren't the single mothers and single fathers getting together for more social parties? Is it too boring for you? Does the thought of pairing up with someone with more children give you a feeling of fear? Or are you just more comfortable dating those without any added children attachements?

I'm just curious is all. What do you think the main problem is as a single parent trying to re-date once more?
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 2
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So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/17/2007 11:24:47 PM
Speaking as a single parent who hooked up with a single parent... I think single parents dating and falling in love is a fantastic idea!!!

Though I can see people having issues if they say have their children on opposite wkends (supposing that their exes take the child(ren) every other wkend) or if they have a lot of kids...
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 3
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 12:01:06 AM
Single parents often feel that introducing their children to a potential partner, and their children too soon in the relationship may cause emotional stress to the children involved if things don't work out.

If the children are introduced to the other family in a "friend" setting, without preconceived notions about the romantic aspect of the parents, it can be safe for the children and may lead to a friendship outside of the romantic realm.

Socializing with your children involved is a natural way to teach them about manners, respecting others feelings and the difference between acquaintances and real friendships.
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 4
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 1:44:18 AM
Funnily enough I have never really had a problem meeting men as a single parent nor having a relationship ... I admit though that when dating other single parents, the understanding they have towards my situation is a lot better then my expierences with men with no children ...

That being said I have never at any point tried to force my child on anyone and keep him as seperate as possible from my dating life .... I have now learned the hard way it is not difficult for children my sons age to become attached or attach certain things to people ... live and learn though ...
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 5
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 6:16:51 AM
no offence to single dads but personally , i prefer dating a single guy. due to my situation where i don't have daddy around , there's no drama on my end. now i would date a single dad IF

a. the mom is totally outta the childs life


b. they totally don't speak to one another, only pick and drop off.

i've been with men that "are friends" with the mama's and later on to come find out , he's still having sex with her ? or goes back for the child sake. or better yet have her trying to ruin the relationship and bad mouthing me or telling the child lies about me. personally hate drama and stand clear of it. i know a single guy can screw his ex or leave for her. but thats y i don't date guys who speak to their exes whereas a man with a child there's that bond u can't break unless they do themselves. i know i sound selfish but this is MY PERFERENCE and choice and should be respected for it. that being said, i would date a single father but perfer single guys and no not cause i need a daddy for my son. I AM mommy and daddy and always have been for nearly 9 yrs
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 6
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:08:39 AM
I have dated single dads, and have no issue in regards to them..HOWEVER with that being many people give single mothers a bad "rap"..but I find A LOT (not all) are still bound to the ties of the ex. They are afraid that if she gets wind of his dating, she will take the kids away. Which is a bunch of bullocks...but there is no reasoning with them.

Yes I have an ex, but even if it wasn't amicable, i would not let what his thoughts on me "dating" interfere with it. I find a lot of single dads, are too scared of what the ex will say, or do, that it consumes their life..and really that isn't healthy for any new relationship.

I would prefer a man with children, because then he does realize that children do get sick, and that sometimes a schedule has to revolve around the children.

But even THEN not all single dads want single moms! So it's a catch 22 really.
 Sweet Euphoria
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 7
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So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:12:16 AM
Finding a relationship is just plain hard no matter if it's with a parent or not. I'd prefer a single father, being I'm a single mother myself. What I find hard to find is a single father that is over his past relationship. Most men I meet haven't been separated long enough to be over it. I have been separated for almost 8 years now and am WELL over my ex. There are alot of men that hop into the dating scene well before they're ready and even though they say they're looking at long term as a preference, they aren't ready for it. We all have to have some patience and trust that one day, the right person will come around. As for men without children, most of them still want to have their own kids and I'm not about to have another child at my age. My kids already have a father and I'm not looking to replace him in their lives. It's just finding the right balance with the right man. If that takes another 8 years, so be it.
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 8
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:23:12 AM
I do not put men into categories like , no kids, etc etc...I'm searching for a man for me and part of me is my children &family and friends. Ditto for him.....

I have learned to accept who ppl are and IF we click we click, that click involves children and family, friends......his family and mine. I'm looking to blend myself with someone I don't rule anyone out with categories like this.

However, again I have to agree with .lisa Men have more issues surrounding what they will and won't do because of their ex and the she could, she might, she will.......their ex holds fear over them.........Sad but very true!

Ideally Yep I'm looking for "My Brady Bunch " He might have kids, he might not but WE all will make OUR Family together!

I don't have many issues with my ex and nope we don't shag's all business!

I do feel that I don't want my daughter meeting anyone that is interested in Mommy asap but given a social setting where it was not obvious I would love to take her out with me.She has been to some patio nights and had a blast and everyone was great with her!

Going to events does get expensive, considering myself anyways I'm out 20+ before I'm out the being able to bring the kids to some stuff would be awesome socially for us as a family and financially as well.

Please don't confuse this with the Adult only nights because I do need and want my big people only evenings......with laff'n, drinks dancing etc.

So for the OP I would say issues and Fear is the reason single parents aren't Hookin' up so much!
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 9
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:34:15 AM
Well I am a single father and my daughter lives with me full time. I have never had any major issues with my ex. She has moved on with her life and so have I and we are both happy for one another.
My girlfriend is also a single parent and we have had no issues with each others kids. Although it may be easier for us because both our kids are in their mid to late teens.
So as for single parents hooking up well we fall into that category and I for one couldn't be happier.
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 10
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So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:47:46 AM
I was reading some of the posts on here and thinking, "Hey, I'm that ex." The one that he can't leave alone and stop sleeping with and leaves other women for. And while my intentions haven't been to start "sh*t", I'm sure they could be viewed that way. I was just trying to keep my family together. But now I have realized (finally, lol) that it is not to be.

Personally I think their are pros and cons to being with a single parent verses a single person.

With a single parent, should the relationship progress and involve the children then there would be less chance of alone time. I have the ability to care for another woman's child, but should the relationship end, I'm sure the loss of interactions with that child would hurt as much as the breakup itself. I'm on the fence on about whether I ever want to have other children and while a single parent might be open to another child, in my experience I haven't met any and I don't want the idea to be a closed subject.

On the other hand with a single person they might definately want to have more children and I am not sure that that is right for me either. With a single person you only have whether your child can get along with them, instead of with them and their children. Less costly for baby-sitters.

I guess in either situation there are a lot of pros and cons, but a lot of the problems that will be faced will be there whether the other person has children or not.
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 11
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So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:53:49 AM
I think parents are just very protective of their childrens feelings - they don't want the kids getting attached to someone who might not be around after a couple of months!! It's difficult for kids to understand friendships breaking up for no apparent reason!!
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 12
So why don't Single Parents hook up more?
Posted: 2/18/2007 3:59:25 PM
I dont' know that it matters much to me if they have kids or not. It's about the connection you have with the person.
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