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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?      Home login  
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 SailAria
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 3
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Just go out and meet people, of any age. Become a part of your community, in any way you find comfortable. I think you'll find that the number of people you know will grow almost expotentially, with each person you meet. Eventually, you'll find people that you enjoy being around. From there......who knows what may happen. A positive approach, is pretty much the only way to get positive results.
 SailAria
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 8
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/19/2007 4:04:29 PM
Obviously, I can't speak from a woman's perspective, but I have no problem doing things solo. At one point in my life (much younger), I sometimes worried what "others" would think (can't get a date, etc.), until I realized that it didn't really matter what "they" might think. If it's something that interests you, do it.
 gyver75
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 9
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/19/2007 4:56:16 PM
Anna , do the coffee club thing .

For the " oh , what will people think " , you would be surprised at how much people don,t think .......

I would definatlly do the art group of people , more free thinkers and creative crowd . The rule breakers , who,s going to care if your alone .
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 10
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:31:56 PM

there are 2 coffee houses here that have concerts and seminars or lectures. I haven't been able to get up the nerve to go alone. How do the rest of you feel?

^^^^
This is probably one of the biggest causes of lonely, bored older women, and also one of the biggest causes of older women getting into BAD relationships.!
Go to the events and make friends when you get there!
I get a little vehement about this because I've seen some women I'm close to(family and friends) get into TERRIBLE relationships because they were tired of sitting at home and wouldn't go do stuff on their own(apparently people look at you, notice you are alone and immediately deduce that there is something WRONG with you??) If you've just moved to a new area, how ARE you going to get to know anyone??

Cindy O
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 14
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/19/2007 7:04:33 PM
...When the blues strike or I start to feel that pang of lonliness I need to focus on something that is going to bring my spirits up....like watching a good comedy movie, or if its nice out I will go for a drive and turn on some upbeat music. That usually works, if not well then I just go on-line or talk to my friends.



...maeflowers
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 15
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/19/2007 7:04:59 PM
Oh, I've got it. You may never have heard of it. It's called communication. A strange phenomenon. Open your mouth and address someone. Actually speak.

Next week we're going to invent fire. I'm working hard at it.
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 16
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:07:25 AM
Go and visit the small shops in your town on a slow business day. Start a conversation with someone who works or owns the shop. Most are bored when the day is slow and love the opportunity to talk to someone - anyone. Somewhere in there you will meet a few people that you relate to - stop back and say "hi" the next time your in the area. Shortly, the circle will grow as you meet their friends. This also will help you find out what really goes on in your new community and someone will invite you to something. I've been invited to everything from sharing a joint to going to church with most everything in between.
 Majunme
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 18
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:36:36 AM
I recently moved to a tiny town, too. I walk around town, walk my dogs, have lunch at the bar or the grocery store deli, pay my bills in person, and talk to every person I meet. I am happy to say this seems to be a remarkably friendly town, but of course my efforts do maximize that. I have met a great many people.

The "community" idea is a good one. Check out the library, ask if the elections officials need help, etc. Read the bulletin boards ads in the stores - maybe somebody needs an occasional babysitter or some such thing. Find out if the high school will let you jog on their track.

I often go places alone. I eat in restaurants, go to movies and concerts, whatever. Try it - you'll get used to it surprisingly fast. Take a book if it makes you feel braver, but do please try it. You will have a good time and you may meet a few people, too.

Good luck and have fun!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 21
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 6:36:41 PM

When I am feeling a little 'lonely', I pop down to the local coffee shop and read the newpaper. The human activity validates my existence.




...I'm a people watcher as well so I also enjoy the activity around me, especially at a coffee shop or maybe a flea market in nicer weather. I love browsing through antiques stores, book stores or record shops. The last time I headed down 9th Avenue here in Calgary I spent the whole day "junking" through all the little curios shops. And as someone suggested above, its usually when your on your own that someone will engage you in idle conversation.


...maeflowers
 SoTexMan
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 22
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:04:10 PM
Hey, all:

Hey, Annapurna Dana: Without being critical, I would like to gently point out that you are confusing 2 concepts, that of being alone and of being lonely. Being alone is a physical condition of simply not having anyone around, and being lonely is an emotional state.

I live in the country 9 miles outside a town of 4000, I am alone most of the time, but I am seldom, if ever, lonely. I stay busy, with work and play, and I do and stay involved in many things. I keep music, TV, or video playing. Even when I am eating I have a book or magazine open. When I am in public places I make an effort to talk to strangers, just as a matter of practice. When I am with friends or other social settings I enjoy them thoroughly, so that although I miss them at other times, the times together compensate for it.

We have all heard the comment of being alone in a crowd, so it is all relative to our state of mind. We all can work on our emotional health so that whether we are with a herd of people or by ourselves, we don't have to be lonely.

I hope this helps.

David


Messages done with sustainable energy, with Wind and Sun!
 forester40
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 23
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:08:01 PM
I have never used this before,but here goes.I have the same problem. Very lonely.
To old for bars.I have joined a single parents club they keep me very busy with meetings , dances, volleyball, diners,card games etc etc.Much better way to meet single people than computer dating.So try to find a club in your area.
Too bad you live so far away.
forester40
 dandydan45
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 24
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:10:09 PM
Ok you will probably lol at me but here goes nothing. Light a fire turn on a good movie like Sleepless in Seattle and and just dream of it being me. Hoping that one day there will be that SPECIAL MAGIC once again. If not for the dreams not sure if life would be an adventure.
 trillium0
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 25
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:10:10 PM
There have been so many great ideas. I am going to try a few of them. I donate blood reguarly. I am usually stuck waiting for about an hour. There are normally a couple of people in line to talk with. (And they give away such sexy t-shirts how can I resist.)
 Krekker50
Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 26
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/21/2007 12:25:37 PM
To old to go to a bar? LOL. The tavern I go to has 20 yr olds to 80 yr olds in it. I have made friends there and my room mate is female and she gos by her self and has made many female friends there. Your never too old to go to a bar. So go and meet people and have one on me,LOL
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 40
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/23/2007 4:36:17 PM
Cynicism. What a great idea? Negative self-talk isn't good for you. The grumpy heart, you know. Cheer up.

Though misery loves company. Who knows? You may find someone yet.
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 49
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 5:22:47 AM
I've got it. Since even chimps can communicate with gestures or sounds, "whoops" we might try it as well. I think it's called talking. You open your mouth and utter a few words. It's a matter of signaling those around you that you would like to communicate.

Give it a try.
 folklinks
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 51
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 10:57:35 AM
I agree that sharing a project which does some good is a bonding experience. Also, there is more contact than just a half hour conversation or a brief dinner and thus there is a chance that something more than the superficial will be exchanged. Most of the singles activities I have seen just throw people together, but a real connection is unlikely in a brief period of time. It also seems worthwhile to get over yourself for a while.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 56
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/27/2007 3:19:21 PM
I head down to my local Kaiser medical center and wait in the pharmacy line.....lmao..... .......Oh wait....I started that at 45 and am still there.....lol.....

OT......when lonely.....we all should go where there is activity, action, and others that are looking for the same thing we are.....and it does not matter what you age is.......just your condition.

Just my opinion......
 Frannie53
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 62
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:14:20 AM
Hi Anna. Me..I go to the library. Something about being surrounded by books with stories from all over the world makes it seem not so lonely.
 lisafine
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 63
Who's lonely?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:48:01 AM
Haven't been there for so many years I kind of forget.

Seems as I get older, I appreciate and enjoy my own company, more than anyone else's. Course my kids are great, and fun, and my ex's bad humour and disparaging attitude are an endless supply of amusement, but gee when push comes to shove.....I like ME!
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 64
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:48:45 AM
This fear of going alone thing...is a real paradox. (maybe a catch 22)

[I can't go out alone....but I will never meet anyone until I go out alone]??

this is something we just have to get over! Pure and simple. Get over it. Get outside your safe little 'lonely' box. Stop in at the local pub. Go to that coffee house. Attend that little concert. Go to a movie. Get out to See and Be Seen. I mean, don't put yourself at uneccessary danger, of course... but don't be afraid to get out alone. And when you are out...don't be afraid to send out some 'signals' that you are available. One of the strange and counterproductive behaviors of us humans is to have strong feelings of need while projecting an image and aura of "stay away from me!". Nuts, isn't it?? (I do it too!!!) and I hate it!

And... we shouldn't "expect" everyone else to do all the work. thats another counterproductive behavior we can slip into all to easily. Practive a little boldness yourself. Take that little risk. Introduce yourself. Start the conversation. Send that inviting glance. Let your little look linger longer than .07 seconds!! ha ha!

Where ever we go. We need to remember to...'take ourselves along'...and leave the suits of armor at home. ha.
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 67
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/6/2007 10:36:37 PM
Some people that answer questions with nastiness similar to nappyJ come accross as hostile, and mean spirited, he may think he is clever and above it all, however most men like that kick the dog, punch the woman, drinks to excess and somehow and feels superior.

That spirit defines coward, I am not attacking him, just the nasty responses, just not needed here.

I believe negative advice has no place here, those with just such negative attitudes are lonely and miserable and appear to want to vent at people. It is very sad, hoping he will just keep it to himself.

Do what every makes you happy, negative breeds negative, positive attracts positive...

Take a course in oil painting, or what ever gets your interests going.

Best of luck, ignore the jerks.... take the good stuff... just like life...

Though misery loves company. Who knows? You may find someone yet.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 71
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:48:25 AM
...I have noticed through sites such as this one, more and more "get-togethers" are being arranged and are becoming very popular. You can participate in a variety of activities from pub nights to cruising, if your budget allows it. I like the idea of singles getting together in a relaxed manner to shoot pool or maybe play a game of darts, its a
good way of meeting people without feeling pressure.


...maeflowers
 Rachel217
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 73
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:54:12 PM
The supermarket or Wal-Mart are great places to interact with people. I "read" mens' shopping carts and if it looks like they're single (not buying feminine protection or sugary cereals is a good tip-off), then I can start a conversation. I tend to freeze up at dances and other meat-market-y events, but when I'm in my natural habitat, I'm relaxed and comfortable in my own skin, even if I'm wearing my grungiest sweats.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 78
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Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/30/2007 9:44:47 AM
I'm not really an ugly guy. But I have NEVER had a woman give me so much as a second glance in the supermarket or walmart...or home depot..etc??? Who says this is a good place to meet? NOT! ha.

I am seriously thinking of starting up a Hiking club. this happens to be one of my absolute favorite activities. Its a win-win situation. Even if I don't meet somebody, I will get lots of hiking in with (hopefully) interesting companions. How's that for a good idea. ?? My only fear is that I would end up babysitting a bunch of 'greenbelt' strollers. ha ha.
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