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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?      Home login  
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 northernmiss
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 3
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
cheaters are not evil, cheaters usually have issues far bigger than most people can handle and those issues have nothing to do with the sex itself.


Cheaters sometimes need outside validation often to keep their ego built up
Cheaters sometimes need the adrenalin rush of doing something wrong to make them feel their life is exciting
cheaters sometimes just need to collect people, again for their ego, so they can say they have done this one and this one...

Cheaters sometimes just like the infactuation aspect of a new relation....they like the chase.

not all cheating is sexual, emotional cheating is harder to deal with than sexual cheating.

Cheaters have very little respect for the opposite sex, they are selfish in that they are only concerned with fulfilling their own needs and wants, but they are good people inside. They can love you the very best they can, but is it enough.

can you accept them just as they are, because the chances of them changing their cheating ways are slim, and then they will need a pile of therapy to accomplish it. The real reason most people cheat has nothing to do with sex or love, it has to do with serious psych problems.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:46:50 AM
OK, I read about half of the responses and decided to come back to the original thread post otherwise this is just another cheating is wrong/cheating is okay thread.

First, I don't see any pressure to cheat. Anyone with that perception is seeking justification for what he/she intends to do or has done. What you may construe as a pressure to cheat is a change in societal standards for acceptable behavior.

I have never nor will I ever cheat.
 northernmiss
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 5
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:51:24 AM
oh yeah...and just to answer the original question, I have never, ever cheated on my spouse/partner, EVER.

My loyalty is way to deep for that sort of behaviour.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 6
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:51:15 AM
So far, I have managed to avoid the temptations that crossed my path. That said, I would never sit in judgement of those who have not.Certainly I think it's wrong, but we are all human and sometimes humans do stuff that is wrong. Or, put another way, cheating itself may be evil, but I can understand how someone might be in a situation where it would appear to be the LESSER evil...
Cindy O
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 8
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:18:43 PM
These people who say..."I never have..I never would"...well, good for you that you can see every aspect in your future to determine this.

^^^^it's not a matter of seeing every aspect in your future. it's a matter of have having enough core character that no matter what happens in your future, you won't cheat. if you're dating and feel the urge to cheat, have enough character to make a clean break with whomever you're dating. then you won't have to cheat. you'll be free to date. if one is married, it's a whole different ball game. people have no business divorcing just becasue they're bored, stressed, etc. you made a committment and you need to follow through with it for the rest of your life. people who divorce for flimsy reasons (and most reasons are pretty flimsy when it comes right down to it) are self-centered, in it for only the good/fun times, and think of nothing but "me, me, me." such people have no business ever marrying. if you don't have the tenacity, core values, and character to make a LIFELONG committment, then you have no business getting married. the only acceptable reasons for divorce are life-threatening situations, physical abuse, and other highly egregious, dangerous situations. in a marriage, it is NEVER accpetable to cheat. pure lack of character and totally self-centered. basically vacuous and vacant in the morality/values department.
 elco1980
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 9
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:20:18 PM
There is no excuse for cheating. None whatso ever! If your not happy with the person break up the relationship. I don't care if there is a pressure out there or whatever that is not an excuse for cheeting! Cheating is selfish cowardly, stupid! And not to mention dangerous for the victim because they get exposed to possible STDs!

Anyone that make excuses for cheating is very very very weak!

Cheaters are the scum of the earth along with criminals, killers, abusers etc. They are all scum!

 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 10
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:24:45 PM
tnt, that's the most ludicrous statement i've see yet. if something is lacking in a relationship, cheating is not the answer.if something's lacking, the 2 parties involved need to address the issues and remedy them. period. cheating is nothing more than a very self-centered act committed by individuals who have no integrity.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 11
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:29:34 PM
happy, your spouse may well be impulsive, but she's also very selfish, not committed to you, lacks integrity, values, & character. Hate to break the news, but those characteristics ARE the definition of evil. You need to get this woman out of your life. Cheating IS one of the few acceptable reasons for divorce. This woman in no way, shape, or form loves you.
 LittleMissScareAll
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 13
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/4/2007 11:52:28 AM
Cheaters should all be shoved off a cliff.
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 14
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:08:54 PM
Cheaters should all be shoved off a cliff.

You go girlfriend!
 chadmak09
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 15
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/4/2007 8:09:37 PM
I agree. If someone wants to run around being with other people then why be in a relationship in the first place? cheating is the worse thing you can do to your significant other. I would rather be shot in the leg than cheated on.
The way I look at it is that there are 2 kinds of people. Those who would cheat and those who never would. Once someone cheats they enter the category of cheaters and can never go back. And no matter how bad they feel about it, they will always be capable of cheating.

-Chad
 chadmak09
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 16
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/4/2007 8:10:23 PM
AMEN brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 18
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/30/2007 9:13:47 AM
I dont believe they are Evil, as i know to being Evil requires ALOT more than most people are aware of. I will say people screw up...sometimes big!! at least to say they were not in true love,..because you would not be able to cheat if you truly loved the person you were with. That goes against the definition of love lol.

I will say this, I have been cheated on ( i suspect) in the past, but its not important wether it happened or not, bottom line is, my faith is restored in knowing that there are good people out there that look at things the same way i do, and that give me alittle strength to continue with the mindset that one day all things will be rectified.
 Ray89135
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 19
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:52:27 PM
Wouldn't the world be a better place if we treated cheaters as if they had an STD. The laws in many states in the USA require that a person with an STD must reveal that information to their partner before they have sex together. Recent court decisions have ruled, that if you do not reveal this information then the innocent victim can sue the person that did not reveal that they had an STD. In many states it is considered a criminal act to not reveal that you have an STD to your partner before you have sex. If cheaters were required to reveal that they were cheaters in a past relationship, then we noncheaters could avoid them and only date those who were honest and trustworthy in their past relationships.

I know your asking the question, wouldn't an untrustworthy person (ie. a cheater) lie about the fact that they cheated? Yes they probably would, but now it can be grounds for a civil law suit for damages, and even a criminal charge. This just might make the cheaters think twice before getting involved with someone without divulging that were a past cheater. We noncheaters can then decide if we want to continue with the relationship.

If the truth were known I would rather date someone with an STD than someone that had cheated in the past. The STD does not reflect on the person's character, but cheating in a relationship is a character defect imo.
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 20
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:27:15 PM
of course we have to ask the question, who is deciding what is evil and what is not?
i think ultimately is the question, as perspectives change.
 nononsenseman
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 21
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:25:10 PM
Temptation and cheating are as old as time itself. The question is do you have a conscience? If you do and you cheat....the guilt will eat away at you over time like cancer. If it doesn't bother you because maybe you don't love that person so much anymore....well what are you still doing with them? If you love him/her don't cheat. If it doesn't bother you to cheat then you are not in love and to continue living a lie is pointless to say the least.
 Calisparkle
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 22
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:13:45 AM
I have never cheated, on boyfriend or husband, no matter how bad it got or unhappy i was. I am 44 years young! But see, i'm strong and not a coward. It will do me good also to read posts of others who cannot conceive of cheating.

:) Cali
 Calisparkle
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 23
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:26:05 AM
Audial,

We decide for ourselves what is "evil" and what is not. When a person lies, through words or through omission, about something they know you would not tolerate and would hurt you very badly, they are controlling your life. They know if you knew the truth, you would be gone, make another life choice about where you want to be. This can happen for months, or even rob you of years of your life. Not to mention, it can bring disease to the unknowing partner. It can be devastating. They know that. To me, that's evil.

If a person cannot get what he wants by revealing his "real" self, if he has to lie and pretend to be someone else, that is a person unworthy of those desires.

:) Cali
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 24
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:03:01 PM


We decide for ourselves what is "evil" and what is not.


thank you, this is exactly the reply i was looking to see,...just a few more to go.

 IWANNABEURSEXYLUV
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 27
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/2/2007 8:44:37 PM
WHEN I m with 1 guy I am FAITHFUL TO HIM IF I decide there is a desire to not be with just him I break it off-why cheat?
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 31
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:24:12 AM
I've never cheated, but I wouldn't label cheaters as evil. STUPID, SELFISH, WEAK and IDIOTIC, yes. But not evil.
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 40
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/7/2007 4:05:56 AM
I have never cheated. I have been cheated on and will not listen to any excuse. If married, and have promised in front of friends, family and God, then if it is over, get a divorce. I cant stand men or women that lie about being married, and feel deeply sorry for the men and women that get lied to, cheated on but think very little of people who date married people, and put them in the same category as the cheater, prostitutes, and the lowest forms of life.

In todays society we as a group have decided it is ok that porn is advertised on TV, that women dress like hookers, that men expect sex for dinner, and that somewhere along the line, thinking it is freedom, women have lost their "ethics", morals, standards and self esteem. If, we as women think that we are nothing without a man, then we are fooled and foolish. If we allow designers in other parts to decide what "we" should wear, weigh, act like, then we have lost ourselves in the rat race... boob jobs, cosmetic surgery, fake tans, skimpy clothes, starving to look like skeletons (all because some company came up with some guilt/esteem ad slogan) say that is HOT, or SEXY or what ever.

We must re-evaluate our own lives, think of who we are, what we as a society have become, what good are we doing and then make the needed changes so we can not only be happy in our hearts and souls, but do good for others less fortunate. Forget about finding mr prince charming, most of the men and women have not matured past the sex/looks/material phase of a teenager. Grow, learn, read, travel, and inrich your life. Think about who you want to be and get busy becoming that person. Cheaters, liars, thieves, murderers, rapists, scammers, sex-aholics, drug addicts, prestige hounds, money grubbing greedy people are not happy or good people.

Become the best person you can be. Listen to YOUR heart and mind. Turn off the commercials (all they want is your money) and find what makes your soul sing... art, music, drinking coffee from a balcony overlooking a mountain range or a river or ocean, helping sick children, the poor people, survivors of disasters, animals... what ever passion you may have is what you should be doing.

All of the people that decided that they wanted the world to know how unique and individual they are, got tatoos, piercings, strange clothes... all ended up looking the same. If you really want to be "original" and stand out in the crowd, be honest, kind, good and happy. Sell off all of the labels, things you thought would make someone impressed... and find a way to help someone in need, or help walk dogs at your local shelter, go visit the childrens hospitals with all of those toys, drop off magazines at the nursing home, clothes to the battered women's shelter and simplify your life. Good luck, and enjoy the life you were given...make the best of what you are.

BL
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 42
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:25:22 PM
Trying to keep this thread from being hijacked.
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 43
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:34:38 PM
OP:I ask that everyone that reads this that hasn't ever cheated post a quick reply, if not to restore my faith that there are others out there.




never have, never will...and i know never say never, and i know that never is a long time...yes it is


I agree with all the above...I never have...and I never will, also. YAYE!

I was the one cheated on...I know what it's like to have been done that way and that did nothing but INTENSIFY my reasons why I never will!
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 45
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:46:22 PM
darylr...they will get theirs...in due time...because I firmly believe that what goes around certainly comes around.
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