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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?      Home login  
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 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 8
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I know men who are more than capable of doing just that ... cuddle without necessarily having sex. I think most men would be content to do that, but I also believe it can be very tempting to at least try to see if they might get "lucky".

I don't need to tell you how nice that is when one has a man who really does understand that. It's actually pretty sexy and hot if a guy can do that ... at least in my book it is.
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 11
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:11:44 PM
I can, but if the woman seems to be initiating more I'm not going to say "NO, you said no sex, so NO SEX FOR YOU!".
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 14
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:50:33 PM
Not having sex with someone you're cuddling with requires focusing your sexual energy towards cuddling. Women generally get more out of cuddling than men, from what I understand. Read this news article about the subject: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4131508.stm
You were with the guys who weren't into cuddling and felt getting close physically has to include sex. Some men are conscious of what the woman wants and are affectionate in nature and don't necessarily want to have sex if they are being affectionate with their women. I think it is partially cultural. I wonder if European men from the continent, not Anglo-Saxon England, have less of a complaint from their females? It is said they do a lot more hugging period in Europe. I think so. Hugging is not viewed as macho for some.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 16
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/3/2007 8:03:24 PM

Call me crazy, but hey, I figure cuddling is better than sex. (yeh, ego aside boys, try and have sex for as long as you can cuddle..ain't gonna happen)
See there it is right there ... SPOT ON.

I can lay satisfied in a man's arms for hours and hours ...

Yeah sure ... it's wonderful when the love making is happening, but like "seir" says ... "having sex for as long as you can cuddle ... ain't gonna happen".

Another thing that men often just don't think about ... "FOREPLAY doesn't just start the minute you hit the bed ... it starts when you wake up in the morning and continues with your interactions ... all of them ... throughout the day. And guys ... that includes the "cuddling" time as well ... believe me.

When you do get us into that bed and do have us in your arms ... we are going to be there for you ... most especially if you have been thoughtful enough to be there for us prior to that. Give us the "FOREPLAY" we seek throughout the day and you will get what you want when you want it.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 20
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/3/2007 10:15:07 PM
Cuddling is a way of bonding for many people. Of course, sex is too, but I don't know why some guys feel they've got to have sex with the girl just because he is hugging her. Of course, you can get aroused, but if you've had a decent relationship with the girl and her mind actually interests you, then you wouldn't be so focused on the animal instinct. Obviously, if I were not that interested in a woman beyond a certain superficial level, I wouldn't care too much about cuddling for the sake of it. But I don't like to do that to a woman, I would prefer not to waste her time or mine. If you're getting a hug from me, it should mean something.
 rome46
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 22
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/3/2007 10:40:22 PM
yes i could cuddle without having sex.
 Gravity_Vortex
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 24
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/4/2007 1:28:17 AM

Two of my past boyfriends could not fathom laying down together without it ending up in bedroom gymnastics. One of them even came to associate my telling him that I was going to lay down for a nap as a signal that we wer going to "do it."

Could you cuddle without it ending up being a sexual encounter?



OH...YA....EASY....! I perfer to just suggle up and cuddle without having it lead to sex. Sometimes...(more often then not)...I pefer a simple act of just cuddling up, and even just cuddle up in bed and fall asleep in each other arms.

But sadly there are all to many guy out there that just have to play ( hint the Salami ) and can not think of anything other then that....
 KWFlange
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 32
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/4/2007 10:26:20 AM
Personally I can cuddle without it leading to sex. But then i am a huge cuddle bug. Like stated before if it is some oen I'm attracted to I can't help but get arroused but it only gets hot and heavy when its mutual.
 CloneAlone
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 39
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/4/2007 3:14:31 PM
My significant other or someone along those lines, sure. Someone I have been dating but haven't slept with yet? I think I'll pass. Sounds to much like self-flagellation to me.
A lot like: I'm going to put a nice juicy BBQ'd steak on the table in front of a hungry man and expect him to just look at it, smell it, but not eat it.
Or maybe, I'll pay to get into the amusement park but not go on the rides.
Or, I'll buy my dream car but never drive it.

I could go on like that forever. What is the point?

Clone
 AustinFan
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 42
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:07:28 PM
I would say that it depends on the self control of that male whom you are cuddling with...cuz some guys have no self control & can't cuddle without it leading to sex...while other males can....so it really depends on their own self control.
 classy_lady99
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 44
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:59:54 PM
Sure some guys love to cuddle without needing sex! I've known several. Sometimes one of us doesn't feel good or is too tired and I've been asked "let's just cuddle".
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 46
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:56:20 AM
(Msg. 51) ryouforme wrote:
For me, if I tell my man that I am going for a nap, it is usually an indication that I am either extremely tired or not feeling well. If I am looking to be intimate with him, I will use another tactic, such as taking him by the hand and heading for the bedroom.
I fully agree with "ryouforme" on this one ...

If I want "sex" ... I'm going to let him know. There will be no guessing ... especially if it's "URGENT" ...

But if I'm just laying down for a nap (which doesn't happen often with me) then I truly am looking for rest ... and cuddling is extremely nice on those rare occasions. So if my man wants to join me ... that would be great, but if he thinks that's just an invitation to "get it on" ... he's gonna really annoy me ...
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 47
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/6/2007 9:04:17 AM
Yes, I do it when I can. I like to cuddle. Just did the other day in fact.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 50
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/7/2007 11:16:50 AM
In theory I could but guys have you ever listen to your body and its body heat? To actually get that far as to lay down and cuddle ... ... mind must be definitely in harmony with body to get that far BUT physical touch always infilters every single cell without a doubt, hmmm ... engaging willpower could feel like being in a hot seat
 bosoxn07
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 55
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/9/2007 9:47:24 AM
Yes and No....depends on what she is wearing and doing...I love to cuddle, kiss, light petting...and it doesn't have to go any furthur....but if you're wearing next to nothing and I can feel your body against mine and you are doing things that you know will get me going...then yes I'm going to try for more.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 59
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/10/2007 1:54:59 AM
cuddling is nice, provided the two of you can keep your hormones in order. it allows the two of you to be passionate and close without getting too commited.
without sex, you have the chance to change your mind about how far you want the relationship to go. -you can still bow out without looking like a real A-hole.
once you have had sex -you have passed the point of no return -that makes things very complicated -especially if you wern't ready to take that s-e-x step.
 sometimes_miss
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 60
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:05:09 AM
Of course. Do it all the time. Haven't had sex with anyone else in many years. Doesn't stem the desire for affection, though. You can satisfy your desire for sex on your own, but affection you need to get from another person.
 whater39
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 62
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:57:06 PM
I like to cuddle. Reguardless of sex or not. It makes me feel nice inside to have the companionship feeling.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 65
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Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:47:10 AM
We men are sexual creatures and so are some of you women.

If you want to lay with a man, but not have sex, you simply state you only want to be held or cuddle.

I never had this particular problem, but some men I know have only one thing on their minds and are looking for the quickest route or weakest signal that it's time.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 66
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/22/2007 3:03:26 PM
how about sex without cuddling *LOL*
seriously, yeah, what's wrong with just cuddling?
 macrofish
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 70
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 3/25/2007 5:37:06 PM
Have you heard of EMT (Error Management Theory)? The theory hypothesizes that during our evolutionary past we have come to judge ambiguous situations in a way that minimizes its possible negative impact on our ability to reproduce. Based on this theory, when a man interacts with a member of the opposite sex, he is prone to read more sexual intent in the woman's behavior. By doing so, he minimizes the cost to his reproductive chances. If he is wrong the negative impact is minimal, perhaps a little embarrassment. If he is right he gets to sew his oats. If this predisposition was reversed the implications could be pretty costly. That is, if a man always read very little sexual intent when a woman interacted with him, he is likely to miss some real opportunities to propagate his genes. So us guys are sort of programmed to read sexual intent whenever any woman pays us the slightest attention. On the other hand, women are programmed to read men's words and actions as they relate to commitment as disingenuous. That is woman are very skeptical when it comes to men's ability or desire to commit. By having this predisposition women minimize the chances of becoming single moms. Which, not too long ago, was a very undesirable and costly situation for a woman to be in.

Ali
 blurose
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 73
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 4/17/2007 1:06:01 AM
Most definitely and I have.

I live in a rural community and I have met several people from here whom have come to visit and I am totally up front. No sex until we have established a relationship.

We have spent evenings together and it has been very surprising how they respond to the warmth and companionship. I think cuddling is the lost art of love making in the first place. Anticipation. We found out whether we were compatible or not without the risk of loosing a friendship. Remember these are people I have never met before and we spent evenings talking, cuddling, and sharing life.

I cuddled with someone for over 31 years and it was wonderful!

Sincerely, Blu.
 Diamond Stunna
Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 77
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:15:11 AM
I've donethat before.

Even though i regret not trying to score.
 gjasuwan1979
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 78
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:14:19 PM
Men get hard easily and then want sex but if the girl just wants to cuddle then make your point known...if he persists then he doesn't really care about you and just wants the nasty..... you feel me!
 gjasuwan1979
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 79
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?
Posted: 4/17/2007 6:16:34 PM


Yes spooning leads to guys getting hard........and it's nature. I have that problem when girls are rubbing their booties on me while dancing!!!!!

There is no stopping it!
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