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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.      Home login  
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 Bliss92
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 2
So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Depends on the day Really, I know that things just didn't work out because he wasn't ready to be married, and that we're really not at the same place in our lives. But on my "scorned wife" days, all I want to do is go down to his house, and slash his, and his gf's tires. I never would, but I can't say that I'd be angry if I know it happened to him

We're still civil, we still talk, and if anyone gets mad - it's him. I've let go, and learned that there is more for me out there, and that it really just wasn't meant to be - or at least wasn't meant to be right now.

So where does that put me... Somewhere in the middle of maturity and immaturity?
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 5
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So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 1:52:45 PM
My break up with my ex husband wasn't any of the above.

Bottom line, he wasn't being a team player with 2 teenagers and 2 pre-teens in the home and I didn't need a fifth child.

He made a comment after the divorce that went like this: "Too bad her parents didn't die before the divorce ... I could have had at least of the inheritance." He said that to the children.

He thought I was having an affair with one of my high school friends ... but I wasn't. He told the children that though anyways. Six months after the divorce and I still wasn't even dating, he confessed that he thought that because he thought all marriages break up because of affairs. HUH?

It's been almost 14 years and he still won't acknowledge that he contributed to the break down of our relationship in any way ... must be nice to live in LA LA LAND. Talk about having your head stuck in the sand. He must be snorting sand fleas every night.
 Pinkdeville
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 8
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So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:17:48 PM
Very mature, both times. When my first wife came to me and told me she wanted to leave I told her that if that was what she wanted, fine. I wasn`t going to try to stay together if she wanted out. We decided to divide our belongings that day. I remember going through our albums and saying, are you sure you don`t want this album. You couldn`t ask for a better break up.
I borrowed some money and assumed the mortage and paid off our debts. We split the bank accounts and the furniture and she was gone. As simple as that.
My second split was much the same. This time I wanted out. I did not try to take more than I was entitled to. We came to an agreement and that was that.
I don`t believe in carrying around a lot of hate or anger. I hope they are both very happy because I am.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 9
So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:30:22 PM
My ex tried to be “gentle” - that came from the fact that we were together so long - raised her two girls - and TONS OF GUILT.

She wanted to go be a “now woman” (do what she wanted to do - when she wanted to do it - buy her own house - not be a mommy - not be a wife - not be accountable to anyone but herself) but knew - not only me but both of her girls would be floored and we all were floored.

We liked and respected each other too much for any name calling. After three years of her trying to remain friends - I finally put at stop to it so I could get on with the rest of my life.

We will always like each other - and wish the best for each other. I made the choice to not see her or talk to her anymore - it seems to have been the best choice for me.

The female version of - the red sports car ripped my guts out - but I lived through it.
 SLeftout
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 16
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So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 4:50:56 PM
Breakups are hard......especially when one wants it and the other one doesn't....mine well it was hard......but understandable......my ex said he had been married all of his adult life.....(I was wife #3).......and he had never been sober and single......(he is now sober 12 years)....and we were married 10 of those years........and with two small girls.......sure it was hard...but I loved him enought to set him free......give him what he wanted.......only to find out he had been seeing ex-wife #2.......was I mad.....was I bitter.......I was hurt....it was the lies that hurt.....honesty would have been so much better.....

Is he happy now........I'm not sure.....he is on girlfriend #2......but we get along....we are able to talk and discuss things concerning the girls.....and that is good........I don't see a reason to condem him......he is searching for what he wants.....and I hope that he finds it.....
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 18
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So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 5:18:39 PM
My ex of 25 years left me for a younger woman.. our oldest daughters age. I was very hurt. But we are still friends and share two daughters and 2 grandkids with one on the way. Why stay angery and hate?

(BTW, the young woman left him in 2 weeks after he told me they discussed things and wanted to be together. Damage done and he still wanted his freedom so he got it.)

Life goes on, and you both learn. I can't waste my time with negativity.

Linda
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 25
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So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/4/2007 8:51:15 PM
Mine was very immature. Before the divorce papers were filed, we were arguing alot. One time she threw one of her Barbie Dolls at me and my eye was poked by Barbies leg.

The next night I stuck one of my Tonka Trucks right next to the bed. When she got up in the middle of the night to get a drink she stepped on the truck and it slid out from under her causing her to fall on her ass.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 28
So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:10:19 AM
ive only had one break up
we just grew apart and wanted different things.
we went to a mediator for the divorce
drove together to the court house and had lunch together after.
i still see him and his family at family functions.
im still on great terms with my ex mother in law, my brothers in law and sisters in law
his new wife doesn't like me though
whats up with that?
i should think id be her new best friend!
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 29
So how mature was your break up? If it was at all.
Posted: 3/11/2007 1:08:05 PM
OP, i'm a pragmatist. i just move on. once a relationship is over, what's the point on dwelling on it whether in a mature or an immature fashion? at that point, it's time to focus on oneself and one's aspirations for career, education, relationships, etcetra.
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