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 ManitobaGrrl
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 1
First time sex with a new partnerPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So there is a article in the new Cosmo mag that says that guys really truly want a new girlfriend to hold off on having sex with them too soon, (for example, the first date)
but guys will ask for sex or give the signals, verbal or physical anyway, so if most men out there want their girlfriend to make them work harder, then why would they ask for sex ? Is this some kinda sick test ? Why not just be upfront and honest about it ? " Oh if we have sex, then thats it, she's gone, and if we dont, then Im in !!! "
 JazzyJay
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 2
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First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:04:47 PM
Well honestly anyone who gives it up on a first date is not a slut we are in a society that takes things quickly. Thats just the way things are going. I dont judge a girl who doesnt put out the first date or night, as well as I dont judge a girl who doesnt put out. Of course I am a guy and Id LOVE to get it, but its not mandatory. If i like you ill definately be calling you back for a second and third but if things dont progress by then from some form of touching/sex etc... then I dont waist my time unless I feel there is a deeper meaning with that person but by then you cant sit around and wonder either it gets to you to think if that person really likes you either... Its a learning process and every situation is different.
 Dr.Strange
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 3
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:02:52 PM

So there is a article in the new Cosmo mag that says that guys really truly want a new girlfriend to hold off on having sex with them too soon, (for example, the first date)
but guys will ask for sex or give the signals, verbal or physical anyway, so if most men out there want their girlfriend to make them work harder, then why would they ask for sex ? Is this some kinda sick test ? Why not just be upfront and honest about it ? " Oh if we have sex, then thats it, she's gone, and if we dont, then Im in !!! "


the plain simple version on this would be.

If He is really into Her he wants to make sure She isn't a tramp first.
 Rain4Eva
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 4
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First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 6:06:00 PM
Heh, I think to some it is a test. I know for me it is, I don't think its sick though.

If she would do it with me on the first date then she might do it with someone else. I want to be turned down, so I can actually find out what kind of person she is, and if she is worth the time invested for a relationship down the road. My 2 cents.

[qoute]Mind games only work for so long. The thrill of the chase ends when the chase is over no matter how long it takes.

Hmmm... Not really, it depends on what happens during the chase, I myself have been more intrigued the longer it goes on, making me actually liking her for who she is not what she can do for me. The chase is the build up, but why stop there? Keep the climax of the situation fun forever :P.

~Anthony.
 ManitobaGrrl
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 5
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 6:15:12 PM
anuntherchance - yes I do infact pick up a book every now and then.
 Rain4Eva
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 6
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First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:29:39 PM
Rain4Eva,

If you want to be turned down, then don’t try. Don’t you think for one second that a trampy girl is going to wait for you to make the first move!


Xodara you're right, I guess I didn't state that that has happened to me before. If I don't try it and get into a relationship with that girl and soon later (1-3 days) she cheats on me (which has happened before), and I feel stupid. That's why I try to now, and see the reaction on their face, and their actions to what I have tried, then I know. I've also met women who didn't try and I did. They were waiting on me to make the first move, and they were still trampy lol.

I mean that's how I do it. I'm tired of being the "idiot" lol. Don't get me wrong I have done my 'thing' in the past and all, but I've learned from it.

~Anthony.
 Tarika
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 7
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:00:41 PM
I prefer a mature man, not one who 'tests' a woman to see what they can get on a first date...and then dump them. Ohhhh, so highschool... I would rather a man with that level of maturity keep his distance from me. I'm simply not into game playing of that sort.
 jg65
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 8
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:20:40 PM
cosmo is so full of it
if the chemistry is there, why wait?
oh, after 3 dates ok
give me a break
I respect a woman no matter what
3 dates then ok, give me a freakin' break ok
all of my ltr started with 1st date sex...one was 7 years long, the other was 8 years long
on the other hand one girl went out with for 6 months, not so much as a cuddle
go figure
cosmo can go to hell
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 6/18/2010 12:41:12 PM

Why not just be upfront and honest about it ?


He: "Wanna have sex?"

She: "How rude, how callous. Don't you know about letting things develop, see where it goes. You just killed all the spontaneity. Besides, what gives you the idea that I want to have sex with you. We just met two dates ago."


It is a known fact that a greater percentage of men will not respect or treat seriously a girl they have sex on the first date. That does not apply to everybody, but many men feel that way. Also, men that are supplicant of sex, rarely get it. Men that entice women and then pull back and let the woman make her own type of advances, usually do get the sex.
As much as we would like to say it's not a game, it is a game of non-verbal communication.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 10
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 6/18/2010 2:27:43 PM

Do you have anything that actually backs that up? That sounds more like a "common sense" thing that doesn't necessarily have any basis in fact at all. While there are certainly some men who feel this way, I'm not sure how you can claim that a majority do.


What do you want? A study by the Kinsley Institute. I wouldn't call it common sense, because the rationale has nothing to do with common sense. Read the forums. How many women have complained about the guy dumping them after a one night stand? How many guys have said they would not take such women seriously. How many others have indicated that if they sleep on the first date, they will do that again.

Notice in my statement that I didn't say ALL men think like that. Several men in the forums have indicated that the person that they ended up marrying was someone they slept with on a first date, as well.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 6/18/2010 2:54:25 PM

I suspect (and hope) that fewer men actually react that way than you seem to think, but it's impossible to know based off posts from the POF fora.


Good luck. And keep suspecting and hoping.

A lot of the information you will get on dating, sexual behavior and so forth, even with all the data will be skewed by the agenda of who is doing the research and by the other simple fact that people don't exactly give all the facts on these subjects.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
First time sex with a new partner
Posted: 6/18/2010 3:02:58 PM

PS any man who will actually sleep with a women on a first date, and then judge her as a "slag" or slut, is a hypocrit.


I do agree with this statement, but how many times have you heard the guy say, well, I liked her but... It is rather hypocritical, yet it exist.


Just repeating what I've heard and experienced over and over throughout the years.


Jerseygirl, sorry but you are going to have to produce numbers, graphs, dates, pure raw data. ;-)
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