Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How a man treats and speaks about his mother      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 nightfly
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 7
How a man treats and speaks about his motherPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I don't know; my mom's a terror. Lies, manipulative, prejudiced, hateful, talks behind your back. Drives everyone away. I avoid going over there other than for holidays. No one blames me.

I'd say what I read on a singles article many years ago. Watch how someone treats others who an do nothing for them; servers, laborers, bartenders, people who they don't have to treat nicely. All too often, people make the mistake of judging someone who is already trying to impress them, which gives a false reading. Watch how they treat the 'help'. That's how they will eventually treat you. And everyone else.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 13
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:54:34 AM
Well, I was only issued one mother at birth, and I didn’t get to choose her.

I was an emotionally and physically abused child. She passively watched the abuse, fearful of saying or doing anything that might stop it..

I REALLY needed a hero (heroine) to rescue me, and she wasn’t it, and I had no where else to go.

I grew up with emotional (and some physical) scars. The physical scars have mostly dissipated, but I rediscovered only yesterday those substantial elements of the emotional scarring remain, seared forever to the core of my soul. I am indebted and grateful to one particular fishie who helped to point it out.

My mother is now old and quite feeble. She no longer passively watches the abuse. Se lives an empty life, as I cannot get emotionally close to her.

We all have coping mechanisms. Some work better than others.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 15
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:13:25 AM
OP, it's pretty obvious that if a guy treats his mother bad, he's not going to treat most women better...exceptions are if his mother is a total psycho and if the guy survived that he usually doesn't see her much (which is a smart move in that case). But in addition to mothers, the guy who makes bad comments about his ex (wife, g/f) isn't a keeper either and he'll be likely to do that about the current woman once she's no longer in the picture, even if there's no reason to bad mouth her. And yes, before someone jumps in with this, the same thing goes for women.

As fore the shoes, never heard that one, but then most men only own a few pairs of shoes (compared to women) and if they don't wear business suits to work, then their dress shoes haven't seen much use, so I don't see that as much of an indication of anything. if we're going somewhere casual, and he has well-broken in sneakers on, so what? At least his feet will be comfortable ;) Besides, if someone is too anal about their shoes, then they're probably going to be too anal about a lot of things, and that might not be so comfortable for anyone with them.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 18
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:52:06 AM

Do you agree if a man speaks well of his mother and visits her at least once a man it is an indication of the type of person he would be to a significant other.

So far its I have discovered its a very good indicator. I am not refering to mama boys who call up mom while on a date to see how her day went or won't date women mother may not like etc.

Another factor I have also noticed which seems to be very true. When a man shows up for a date which requires clean and pressed attire check his shoes. Many years ago someone told me this: if a man's shoes are unpolished and the rest of him is spiffy it's also an indication of how he will treat you. So far i have noticed an uncanny truth in this. A man with shined and polished shoes tends to be gentlemanly in conduct and respectful. A guy who shoes up with black runners as dress shoes and slightly scuffed has no gentlemanly qualities and can be quite boorish no matter how well the rest of him is presented.

Has anyone found the above to be relevant?

And what indicators do guys hear to watch out in a woman?


Baseless, pop psych, crap.
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 23
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:00:26 PM
I am friends with all living things, and they get along pretty well with me. Some of my molds don't get along too well with each other, however. Currently the "chemistry experiment" furry critters in my fridge are battling with the black creeping crudlies in my shower.

Both sides have suffered grievous losses.

My cheese goulies is especially worrisome with thier beckoning as I pass by -- "Comb wiess mee to de Casbah!"
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 24
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:14:24 PM
I don't have a mother and I just bought new shoes... what does that make me!?
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 27
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:19:13 PM
@ Ikusa --

Anal-retentive, of course!
 rsmiskell
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 30
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/14/2007 2:47:37 PM
I am sorry if this makes me sound like a jackass but I gotta get it off of my chest. If the whole shoe thing and other generalities work so well and are true why is it that you guys are still single and still on POF? I mean first off you cant check ppls shoes on POF (I can see it now.... Person 1: Please send me a pic of your shoes. Person 2: WTF?) LOL anyways I just wanted to point that out. I dont think theres many generalities that work all the time. They might be an indicator but unlikely its always true. For example many pimps and players look nice because they have to make up for the fact that they are ***holes at heart. And then theres many people out there who just dont have the time or money to sit around and polish or buy new shoes every time they go on a date. Sorry if I went off on a rant but I am one of those guys that doesn't have polished shoes and I know I am still a good guy and have more manners than most.

Rob

 Pinkdeville
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 40
view profile
History
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:41:07 PM
I had an ex girlfriend tell me that she was impressed that I didn`t speak badly of my ex wives. She was also impressed with the meal I prepared for her. She thought I was a nice guy. Wow. But she wanted a bad boy. Oh well, off topic, I know. I do agree with the post about vehicles. Look inside a persons car to get an idea of what they would be like.
I visit my mother once a week and I am an exceptional guy. Thank you very much..lol..
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 43
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:45:00 PM
I worry a lot when a man has too much connection to his mother. Sometimes they sneak it

in. Don't let you know it until later on. It happened to me twice. They didn't call

their mother or visit her. I find out they are a momma's boy later. Find out they are

borrowing money from her, that they never pay back.

They treated their mom better than me. At the time I thought they were putting her

before me, but looking back I believe they were playing us against each other. We get

mad at each other while he walks off like he didn't do anything. It wouldn't pay for him

to make mom mad, it could cut them off from funds, yet they assumed I would never cut

them off from the other thing...

If I were quick on the game I would have told them that the way to get treated better by

you is NOT to have sex with you. Heck, it's is working for your mom!

Anyway, the above posts about watching out for how he treats animals and children, and

YOU are very insightful.

They can hide their 'apron strings' but they can't hide how they act in the moment when

a kid or an animal, or YOU pisses them off.

The post that really struck me was about 'men that walk ahead of you' They will leave

you for anything or anyone'. I've been there, and didn't know it meant that. I copied

and pasted that post to notepad to reference it.
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 44
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:14:46 PM
If your posting about my post...you two posters below mine don't read very well. Read it again.
 harviej
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 52
view profile
History
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:32:43 AM
I am laughing mys A** off now! Althogh I generally agree that how someone treats people is a good indication of how they will treat people (duh) I liked what trubbleguy or however his handle is spelled had to say about making generalizations on silly bases. Until I checked his profile and he rates all the zodiac signs according to his experience with women of them! Too funny
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 56
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:36:17 AM
It's revealing to pay attention to how someone speaks about anyone they have or have had a relationship with. Could be a friend, sister, coworker, boss....you learn a lot just by letting them talk and listening. The ole...give 'em the rope and watch the hangin...
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 60
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:51:32 AM
My mom was my best friend - the best person that has ever walked this planet - and the ONLY person that loved me unconditionally.

When she died - I put a picture of her on my profile. She would have got a real boot out of that. We had joked about putting her a profile on POF.
 Melodic Euphoria
Joined: 3/22/2005
Msg: 66
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:36:17 PM
Actually, if you already held a certain expectation of the man who treats his mother well (that he will in turn treats you well), that expectation will color your perception. It's easy to read into the signs that meets into your expectation and overlook the other signs that are inconsistent.

Judging from personal experience, my answer is still: not necessarily. For the former assumption, if he should think deeply enough, any guy can understand that other women = not his mother and the knowledge of one female figure in his life should not be generalized to the female population. When we recognize people as individuals, we also accept the fact that they are disposed to react differently and have different needs, which is why we don't treat all people the same way. Apparently Tucker Max think well enough of his mother, yet he disparagingly treats the women who he thinks undeserving of respect.

I think if the men are compassionate and give basic respect to others, they will surely have a healthy opinion of women as well & treat them with care. Why rely on these ambiguous "indicators" when you can gauge men's character in person with your common sense?
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 67
view profile
History
How a man treats and speaks about his mother
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:01:34 PM
Ouch, I'd get owned on the "shoes" part. No matter how good my excuse, if I'm being judged by my shoes, I'm screwed.

I have serious problems with flat feet, and I have to wear special inserts. One leg is 1/4 inch longer than the other, so I have to put additional support in one shoe, which makes it hard to fit into shoes. The left foot fits fine but the right gets forced to the roof because of the support, and so I can only wear certain shoes, like sneakers etc.

I'm screwed, no doubt about it.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How a man treats and speaks about his mother