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 AUTHOR
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 15
Come here go away.Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Men like to feel needed. Not just in the clingly, I don't have a life, sense, but men and I guess people in generally like to feel like they matter to the person they are with. If you seem so independent that the man feels irrelevant, he'll probably drift away a bit. Like someone else in the thread says -- its all about balance.

Its good that women are out doing what they want, to be successful, to have good lives -- but often we hear "I don't need a man to be happy!" and that's all well and good.. but the reason why we are looking for a mate is to have someone to share our lives with. What good are our accomplishments, our joys and our sorrows if we have no one to share it with? While I may not need a woman to be happy, I would certainly be more happy to share my life with the one I love.

I think many so called independent women forget this and make the man feel superfluous to their existence.. is it any wonder he will want to move on and hope to be appreciated, not just as a man, but as a person, elsewhere?
 dfctr
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 19
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History
Come here go away.
Posted: 3/21/2007 1:32:45 AM
Oiy yoi yoi (as my Ukrainian Grandma would say). ....

hey sombient, was a wonderful post that one. cheers
 dfctr
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 20
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Come here go away.
Posted: 3/21/2007 2:06:51 AM
i think there is a fine line between being a partner and being a bully.
say the transition of the society.... so when we talkin about role sharing, how come is it inferred to a role-reversal at times?
i reckon the transition is towards equality not shifting the balance towards the other side innit folks! besides, are we talking about ineqality in a match just by virtue of who has a more successful career, or who bring in more money, etc?
no wonder u think men are stupid lol..
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 22
Come here go away.
Posted: 3/21/2007 3:04:05 AM
And sometimes they just annoy the piss out of a guy due to the constant chip on their shoulder
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 36
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Come here go away.
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:47:16 PM
There's a particular woman I know who considers herself to be strong and independent. In fact she takes being independent to such extremes that she's completely undependable. Everyone considers her a flake, you can never tell if she's coming or going.
If I need help with something, she's always there to lend a hand.
But, if I try to reciprocate and give her help, she rejects it.
She wants me to see how smart she is, so she argues with me over everything.
She has no problem with asking me out for a date, however, I can't ask her out or else I'm becoming clingy and smothering her.
I can't go to her, I must wait for her to come to me.
Everyone can see that she covers up her own insecurities with a her strong independent woman act.
She wants to have friends, but can't for fear of becoming too attached. She likes the idea of being needed, but only on her own terms so she can control it.
She can't keep a boyfriend because they get tired of living under her rules of engagement all the time.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 57
Come here go away.
Posted: 3/22/2007 4:34:12 PM


she takes the reins and leads

If you want to take the reins and lead, you should include that in your profile. I think that will eliminate many if not most of the "false starts" that you complain about.
 chuchurillo
Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 67
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Come here go away.
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:19:10 PM
Stong, good. Independant, good. Strong willed good. All good stuff. Most people either, have these traits or at least strive to aquire them.
Im not making judgements here, but are you really those things? Does your type of independence make a perspetive feel redundant? Does your type of strong will make some one feel, unimportant, or taken for granted?
If being foreful is ones interpritation of strong willed, no matter who you are, leads to feeling attcked, and just like in any conflict, only few outcomes are possible. All of them eventually end in destruction. Destruction of feeling valuable, worthy, and needed. Not good.
I have a strong personality, and will not tolerate anyones BS, but I'm the king of compramise. You can get farther leading a mule with a carrot than a stick. I should know, my profile name here is italian for little mule.
Just some food for thought. Itraspection, it sucks, but everyone should try it once a day.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 70
Come here go away.
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:38:59 AM


it always feels icky to be told either directly or by sudden silence that you've failed the quality control test.


Everyone fails someone's "Quality Control Test" at one time or another. 99 percent of the women's profiles I look at fail my "Test". I fail 90 percent of the "Tests" of women I find acceptable. So far, that has resulted in one date since I have been on this site. There were no "sparks" between us, so there was no second date.

The ultimate result of this date was that we didn't waste each other's time. I look at it as a successful date, because we knew very quickly that we were not meant for each other. We had a nice conversation over a pleasant dinner. We thanked each other for the encounter and that was the end of it.

Now I continue my search for the right woman for me.

Failing a "Quality Control Test" in no way degrades the persons involved. All it means is that the search has not yet been successful.
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