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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?      Home login  
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 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 1
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I'm not going to mention names, as I am giving this person an opportunity to explain the situation.

I was contacted last night, by someone local. Her profile says she's 30, thin, and has a couple pictures. She contacted me using the IM system on here, and we moved to Y-a-hoo IM. We talked, she showed me probably 15-20 pictures of herself via IM.

Something didn't quite feel right...that strange feeling in your gut, you know. I did a google search this morning on her Y-a-hoo ID, and it led back to a profile on here that hasn't been used since October 2006. The picture looks COMPLETELY different. Age is listed as 27, a few extra pounds. Google found it as she lists her Yahoo ID on the old profile.

I've been on dating sites long enough I should KNOW to expect some fakery, but from what I see and hear, it's usually guys that engage in it. It's worth saying, the different age or the different physical description, or the different pictures themselves aren't the issue. I've got no issue at all going out with someone with a few extra pounds. My big point is the leading with what (might well be) a fake profile, and if what I read here is correct, she'll show up looking like the other profile, and hope that I don't get angry with her changed appeance.

I don't get why people do this...unless they're just in this as a game. If you genuinely plan on meeting someone, why lie first? If you met someone, and it was clear they lied, would you give them a chance to explain, or would you immediately leave?

(Oh, and if this has already been discussed ad nauseum, my apologies)
 Jersey101
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 2
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Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:56:28 AM
I am sure its been discussed before but I know exactly what I would do if I met up with a man who was completely different then he had said on the internet. I would sit down ask him how he is doing, let him respond. I would then ask him to explain himself. Depending on what he says will determine wether or not I would continue the date or whatever it is


I think you should allow her a chance to explain herself before deciding she isnt worth a damn.
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 3
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:33:41 PM
Okay, a follow-up.

I finally got a chance tonight (online) to ask this particular person about this. She naturally denied it. She said she'd "deal with it"...and the offending profile was GONE within a minute of her saying that. While I don't doubt that the admin here are quick, I believe I know who deleted the profile...she deleted it, to remove the evidence.

So, anyway...I won't say who this is in public...but if you're going to be seeing someone in Atlanta, she's 30, thin, brown hair...and you're suspicious, message me. Assuming I don't break any terms of service in doing so, I'll tell you who this is...privately.
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 4
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/3/2007 5:34:43 AM

To answer the question about the person: some people do lose weight. So the photos may have been real. When you say the offending profile was gone, which one? POF or Yahoo? The Yahoo one may just have been out of date


I'm only talking POF profiles at this point, the Yahoo profile doesn't have any pictures on it.

I agree...people do change, but this was more than that. The entire facial structure was different between the two profiles...eyes, nose, mouth, the whole thing. I actually didn't think picture of the "heavy" profile were all that bad, she was still fairly attractive to me. But...it was just obvious that the pictures were not of the same person.

The "thin" profile is still active, she deleted the one I am calling the "heavy" one.

Besides, it is obvious that something does not match up...the age listed on the profile updates automatically, based on our birthday, I have to assume, and the "thin" profile says she's 30, the "heavy" profile says she's 27.

Nobody was harmed by all of this...but it is always an enlightening lesson that what you see isn't necessarily what is real.
 verbiwhore
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 5
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:14:23 AM
Oh hell, I found this site because of a guy I'd met on a different site that was feeding a user from here just as much bullshit as he'd been feeding me. Hell, she's the reason I joined...he'd previously stolen her car and still had her keys, and having seen them, I registered and added her as a favorite so I could get her keys back to her later! Comparing notes with her has been entertaining, to say the least.

Of course people lie online! Whether on the internet, or in the flesh, people tend to be full of shit. Its just easier online..until it comes time to ante up and be the bullshit in person.
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 6
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Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:02:04 AM
Deception? You mean there are people on here that lie about themselves?

Dare I add the few I have met so far: Guy #1 ~looked like his picture in person but didnt act his age (37), almost killed us on the highway and thought it was funny, acted more like he was 17.
Guy #2 Had no picture, was very romantic in his emails, very romantic on the yahoo messenger...we had alot of spiritual stuff going on, sent a picture from 10 yrs ago, said he looked about the same. When we met in person he DID NOT look like his picture, was balding, grayer and skinnier. Turned out to be a very ANGRY man and nothing like his profile said.
Guy#3~ claimed in his profile that he owned his own home and had plenty of free time for you, turned out that his MOM and DAD own the home and that his BROTHER lives with him and mom& dad visit ALOT so he really had NO free time. Funny thing is that his profile still says same shit....
Guy #4, most recent sent me older pictures, he didnt look that bad, then when we went to yahoo messenger he sends me more recent pictures and he is about 100 lbs heavier, no smile and no hair. Was more than willing to try the long distance relationship thingie, we talked everyday up until last week....his kids home on spring break....he never returned a phone call or email, including the one where I mentioned that I got extra money for a plane ticket for a visit.....
today, 3 days later he sends an im message saying the long distance wasnt for him (typical chicken shit male).....so as in HIS profile he claimed to be willing to work on a relationship and make it work....did I miss something here?
As for the other guys on here, most of the ones I send an email to because THEIR profile says they are honest, real, etc, dont respond back because they are looking for BARBIE and I am a BARBIE with a few extra pounds...so guys, change your profile if your looking for perfectionism.....
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 7
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 12:21:13 PM

Why are you harping on about this one person, "giving them an opportunity to explain the situation" and so on?


I'm just that kind of person. I gave them one opportunity to come clean. Thought process is that maybe there was SOME reason for this that could be accepted...although I'd have to hear it to see.

I feel it's a valid wat to handle this. Someone finds potential deception, provide the deceiver with one chance to tell the truth, then move on.

This is a little different than the train ticket thief. We're all here for a reason, we interact with one another, we talk about those interactions in the forums. With all due respect, if you're not interested in the topic, nobody is making you read it or respond to it. I mean, there are far more important topics, like height, weight, etc, you can always go complain about those too, and why they're being discussed.
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 8
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:24:02 AM

We could start a tv show on deception.... and it could run forever


There actually IS one. Here in the US, at least. It's called "Cheaters", and while it doesn't have to do with deception in a dating forum, it deals with deception after already being married or dating.

I find that show interesting, in a train-wreck sort of way. It's amazing to see how crafty some people will be to deceive, and how obvious others will be.
 Tarika
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 9
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:15:43 AM
I haven't as of yet...but, there's always a first time. I'm here more for the forums so I'm not really affected by the game players etc.
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 10
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:59:16 AM
Whoah...hang on a second there, terminallycute. You need to put the brakes on...NOW.


doing a name check on someone after one conversation is rather odd..and It shows you have issues somewhat...


Maybe you should have ASKED before assuming. Let's say that this person said a couple completely off-the-wall things that made me a bit suspicious. If being suspicious due to some really STRANGE comments means I have issues...then I think you need to check YOURSELF first, dear.


I cant imagine how someone can show you that many pics of themself and you still have doubts of who/what they are though (more insecurities perhaps)


Oh, so now I have INSECURITIES? Dear...you need to ask first, and stop making such assumptions. As said above, there were CLUES. Maybe you aren't good with clues, but I would truly appreciate if you'd cut this CRAP out about trying to apply this to me somehow. Lots of people have replied, had the same things done to them, so do you think THEY'RE all insecure and have issues.
 SparkintheDark
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 11
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:22:03 PM
My favorite kind of deception is the kind that the "prefer not to say" choice seems to encourage and perpetuate. People not wanting to admit they have kids. People not wanting to admit they smoke. People not willing to admit they're married. That choice forces you to ask, and I have yet to get straight answers from people with that in any section of their profile.
 dave30076
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 13
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/19/2007 12:26:57 PM

I was wondering OP could the pic and profile you saw on yahoo be a old one?


I don't think they are. The two pics..the facial features were completely different. Gaining and losing weight...that's fine, and not an issue. She could have said so, but the pictures didn't look a thing alike, and she completely denied that it was her. The ages were different on the profiles, too. Even if you abandon a profile, I am guessing that the age will automatically update, as you enter a birthday and birth year when you set up your profile.

There are always possible plausible explanations, but there is just too much that doesn't add up, and when given the opportunity to come clean, she went into complete denial mode.
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 14
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Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 5/19/2007 1:15:18 PM
As someone said, who hasn't? If you are on here long enough, you get decieved sooner or later. It happens since the internet has existed.

I was lied to about a lot of things. From fake picrures, old pictures, intentions, being single, having kids, ect., etc. You just need to learn how to read inbetween theh lines, as you did. YOU KNEW by your own instincts something wasn't right. I follow my instincts now myself. They have become pretty good at reading red flags and knowing what questions to ask, to weed out the ones that won't work out for me.

I don't get it either, but people do it. I want someone to like who I AM, not some fake I am pretending to be. They would be liking the invented person, not me. Not too bright! Matter of fact, it is plan stupid. But, then there are indeed, a lot of stupid people out there.

Happy fishing, and continue to follow your gut instincts. So far they are working well for you.

Linda
 awakening moon
Joined: 10/31/2006
Msg: 15
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 7/12/2007 3:03:28 PM
I've just been thru a weird dating experience. I wasa e-mailing and speaking on the phone daily with this guy from the East Coast. He sent me a pic and as I atempted to "save and stash", out poped a whole file of his- pof mens' pictures - many that I recognized (none had I contacted), many from my area, and many included in my "personality picks" thing. I freaked! I blocked his ass and e-mailed the "big fish"( Adm. did not reply...).

I will not live in fear. But, every time I go on-line I see those "other guys". What to do?

I do not have a web cam, but think that that's a good idea.
The reality is that anybody can be anybody. The question is , How much time DO you have to waste?
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
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History
Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:37:38 AM
Flakes, Fakes and Mistakes.

Good to see guys and girls are equally fcuked up. Everyone i have met looks pretty much like their photos. I look like mine. The latest was from a couple days ago. I post my height, weight, etc. so there are no surprises. Oh well, what can you do. Everytime I'm on the way to meet someone, I say a little prayer, it goes like this.....

"please look like your pics, please look like your pics, please look like your pics...."


Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?