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 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 1
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Poetree of Axis MundiPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I dedicate this space
with gratitude
to all those who welcomed me
into their threaded abodes…
Old Souls patchworking lines for the Mother all through our bloody ass history
and all the rest I have yet to explore

I feel my spirit ease somewhat
with each excursion into creative expression
and yet…
still…
I search…
for that elusive sense of
home.

my dreams oft filled with faded echoes
the glory of creation, sacred profanity
of surfaces all wizened with materiality

so here it begins, a liminal foundation
where fecund seeds may find expression
fertilized by inspiration
mythological

a place to plant my seedlings
water them with my tears
and joy
to watch them seeking blindly
through cathode rays
for the sunlit witnessing
of other souls
perhaps
like me.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 2
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Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:37:05 PM
I begin with a seed
a single word

brilliant soundless exhalation
humid with potential
fractal gyration
kaleidoscopic iteration
sonically pulsating linga
tesseracting framed space
hypnagogic geometry, the face
of God, unfolding
wings unfurling
I am legion
I am.



 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 3
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Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:39:03 PM
Visible

how to choose
essence to share
which viscera
of soul to bare

… can you see me yet?

inner process
often bent
who knows where
composure went

… can you hear me now?

how I see me
is revealed
as every hurt
begs to be healed

… do you feel me yet?

wounded child
comes slow to trust
old promises
fragment to dust

… does it matter now?

work in progress
incomplete
what lies beneath
a promise sweet

… do you know me yet?

ego’s contract
writ in stone
these ancient sins
I must atone

… are we starting now?

every scar
a badge of shame
this mortal jaunt
a sordid game

… is it over yet?

humanity
in sad confusion
this sacred dream
a grand illusion

… must I stay here now?

temporal fugue
constructed spans
the moments lost
between the strands

… have I been counted yet?

the infinite
unbounded space
divinity
a state of grace

… is there love here now?

to be all one
the final goal
my temple healed
my spirit whole

… are we there yet?


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 4
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Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:43:57 PM
Sometimes...

Sometimes I wake up suddenly
Breath half caught
Damp and exhausted
Fighting battles in my sleep again
Receding images on my screen
Tattered wings dragging on wet asphalt
The sound of despair
Vast golden beings intertwined
In a passionate frieze
Was it love or war?
Echoes of ancient pain
ricochet between the strings of possibility
The choices not made
The path not taken
Was it me?
Was I the one?
Had I only…
If there hadn’t been…
But there it is
I emerge fully into consciousness
Ensconced in my edifice of shame
And time slowly gels
Back into thixotropic stability
Or something like it.
With gritty corners.
Now to face the day…
Every human interaction
Tainted with remembrance
A faint double image
An aftertaste like old honey and dust.
Sometimes I long for the peaceful sleep
of cats, or young children
But then I remember…
Too late, I’m already awake.


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 5
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Posted: 4/5/2007 8:44:50 PM
Old Friend

Free to dance
Amid phonemes of ancient rime
Barnacle encrusted underbelly
Ponderous with slime
What grace lives there
Within this carcass
Your actinic glare
Makes shadow melt
and cleave
With knifelike edge
While I grieve
The loss of innocence
Wielding primordial myth
Revelation laid bare
Whimpering with
Sting of betrayal
My creation perverted
Once beloved
Now skirted
By the angels
Ah, how we shimmied
Thru strands of time
Our brilliant mischief
Mere misconception
Today, forgiveness awaits
Patiently
While I berate
My cosmic lapse
of focus
this curse of density
oft humorous
as I dance free


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 6
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Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:47:32 PM
Bodhisattva at WalMart

Trapped by a vow,
an imprint lingering
in the helical coils
of akashic DNA;
a warm handprint
on the steering wheel of life.
I look around me,
every surface mirrored
Is that how my hair looks?
Gods, how many more
lazy @ssholes will it take
before I finally know
that’s not my face in there.
What lives under rocks
seeks only darkness
while freedom lies
just beyond the edge,
corrosive like ozone
to the tender surfaces.
Tiny radio antennae
feeling all pain in all places
every era,
fear a living throbbing thing
a mouse in my chest pocket
I soothe the tiny fragile beast
with a bit of cheese
and cornflakes.
What does it take
to feel safe around here?

I purchased a return ticket,
must have been millennia ago
You didn’t read the fine print?
Not my problem…
Although the radio antennae
are practically melting.
I can show you
where to join the queue
even how to jump it.
But you can’t have my place.


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 8
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Posted: 4/5/2007 8:50:15 PM
I weep

some people sing in their cars
some talk on cell phones
Apply lipstick
smoke
pick their noses

I weep when I drive
push the pedal to the floor of my heart
needle in the red zone
engine seizure imminent
lungs backfire with sobs
that seem laced with hydrocarbons
grief so ancient
black soot
might be pre-cambrian
maybe from a birthing star
or solar system

some people drive fast in the slow lane
some drive slow in the fast lane
some drive all over the damn highway
giving old ladies heart attacks
insensate in metal skin
babies overboard
heated rubber
smells like hell down here

grinding gears
shifting years
signals failing
up against
the wailing
wall

air bag kills child of ten
story at eleven
a dozen reasons
every minute
every tick
of odometer

effortless flight
over miles of asphalt
a cruel reminder
of wings once dreamed

I weep when I drive
and no one notices
not even when I have my windows open


 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 9
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Posted: 4/5/2007 8:55:47 PM
Thank you Brolga, for sharing such eloquent words...
I see those patterns too
even more so when this human shell
craves rest...

tomorrow brings another journey
I'm driving to Nova Scotia
to bring home my estranged puppy
he needs his alpha goddess...

I'll repost a few more poems, then I'm off to dream, perchance to sleep ;)
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 11
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:06:41 PM
Loki, you B*stard

You again, with the penetrating blue eyes
you seem to inhabit those temples
more often than not
that guileless look you’ve perfected
makes you easier to recognize
each successive lifetime

funny how a distant memory
will stop me in my tracks
a sudden vacuum in my heart
breath suspended
in a timeless moment
of technicolour lucid dream

I was Brynhild to your Viking warrior
that one time anyway
a lusty saga of epic ribaldry
then the howling clash of betrayal
true, the shrieking was mostly me
I never did like sharing much

primordial anamnesis
time before time itself
never had the stars
witnessed a love so pure
garbed in feathers of rainbow
we sang worlds into existence

drawn by beauty into alluvial canvas
ensnared in temporal perversity
kind of amusing at first
all those density jokes
then they got old real fast
as we spiralled into impenetrability

later, when it all went pear-shaped
and we shape-shifted in desperation
I started to resemble
some behemoth of a dragon
and you in all your cyclopean glory
well, I loved you still

even when you ate my children
I might have smashed a mountain range or two
and uprooted a few forests
still I loved you beyond all reason
I always was a sucker
for a man with a mighty hammer

your gaze ancient beyond the stars
deeper than any ocean trench
yet curiously enough
you claim not to remember
any of those old stories
as your spirit slowly winks at me

memories raddled and cobwebbed
dizzy from this karmic ride
I take you to see Constantine
and you look at me quizzically
why do those ancient names
have such resonance, you ask

my heart knows you, yet again
you know me too, perhaps too well
you see me now and feel echoes
of trespasses long extinct
I see you and feel the sorrow of apostasy
though you insist you’re not going anywhere

still I burn with unrequited yearning
I dreamed I was waiting for someone
who got here a decade late and a dollar short
your blue eyes filled with blazing promise
only you don’t see past the veils
easy for you to say no, not in this lifetime

caught in my human cycle
it’s not hard to feel alone here
you’re back again, ever the cosmic tease
slowly the lesson dawns on me
outside of this temporal cage
we have never been apart

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 12
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:13:03 PM
I had this Aussie Shepherd... magnificent creature
not well adapted to city living. He needs to run, daily...
my schedule wasn't working too well for him
and the dog-walking bills were getting WAY out of hand.
Some dear friends moved to Ontario to live on a farm, birth babies, and build their dream
they wanted a dog like mine,
they offered to adopt.
He lived with them for the summer, loved being on a farm.
It was decided.
They bought a farm out east, moved there three months ago,
with my 2-year-old god-daughter and her brand new baby sister
and my dog.

He's started biting people
he's a good guard dog
but needs strong boundaries.
He bit the local insurance adjustor
now the neighbours are up in arms
and they've been refused insurance
unless my boy is either tied up all the time
or put down.

I'm going to get my dog.

He's a brilliant teacher, this dog.
They'll need to know about boundaries
especially with a two-year-old in the house
and another one close on her heels...
I guess his lessons there are done
and it's my turn to learn at his feet once again.

 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:19:30 PM
Shards

don’t come any closer…
that region around my heart
has taken a lot of direct hits
now it’s all bent and buckled
brittle shattered
sharp and pointed
could be dangerous
anyone I hold close could get hurt

.............and then I’d have to feel it all over again.

I keep the edges covered
in frost and down
but sharp!
they slice through all softness
..............feathers everywhere

I need a blast-furnace of a man
who knows the melting point of glass
who doesn’t mind
the smell of burning hair


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 14
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:22:38 PM
Gratitude

I strain to reach
a frequency never known
born into a climate
of marital strife
or was that martial?
missiles launched daily
untold collateral damage
burning oilfields
belching out toxic effluvia
vast shelves of ice
falling into my sea
on a daily basis
drowning in salt tears
my thirst for acceptance
will kill me
if i dare to drink
from this poisoned well
seems like it took forever
for the outside world to catch up

I surrender to the present
tiny increments of comfort
a good cup of coffee
clean sheets
the smell of cut grass
a place to be heard
every moment an opportunity
to manifest healing


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:24:10 PM
The incredible shrinking Goddess

Oh yin, wherefore art thou?

beaten to submission
shamed into sedition
stripped of all volition
sisters in suspicion
blame an imposition
no more disposition
for parturition

… trained collaboration
in our degradation

little wonder yang wanders
so lost in the woods
without his dear goddess
to show him the goods

what cosmic balance
stumbled astray
when acts of creation
became just a lay?

… to bring our mission
to fruition

find holiness in density
celebrate immensity
seek our true identity
embrace our propensity
for corporeality
with eternity
and ferocity


&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
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Posted: 4/5/2007 9:28:41 PM
Time for a little mythological fertilizer,
one of the many poems I have loved.
This tree needs the occasional infusion of external nutrients, after all...

Medusa
........by Patricia Smith

Poseidon was easier than most.
He calls himself a god,
but he fell beneath my fingers
with more shaking than any mortal.
He wept when my robe fell from my shoulders.

I made him bend his back for me,
listened to his screams break like waves.
We defiled that temple the way it should be defiled,
screaming and bucking our way from corner to corner.
The **** goddess probably got a real kick out of that.
I'm sure I'll be hearing from her.

She'll give me nightmares for a week or so;
that I can handle.
Or she'll turn the water in my well into blood;
I'll scream when I see it,
and that will be that.
Maybe my first child
will be born with the head of a fish.
I'm not even sure it was worth it,
Poseidon pounding away at me, a madman,
loosing his immortal mind
because of the way my copper skin swells
in moonlight.

Now my arms smoke and itch.
Hard scales cover my wrists like armor.
C'mon Athena, he was only another lay,
and not a particularly good one at that.
even though he can spit steam from his fingers.
Won't touch him again. Promise.
And we didn't mean to drop to our knees
in your temple,
but our bodies were so hot and misaligned.
It's not every day a gal gets to sample a god,
you know that. Why are you being so rough on me?

I feel my eyes twisting,
the lids crusting over and boiling,
the pupils glowing red with heat.
Athena, woman to woman,
could you have resisted him?
Would you have been able to wait
for the proper place, the right moment,
to jump those immortal bones?

Now my feet are tangled with hair,
my ears are gone. My back is curving
and my lips have grown numb.
My garden boy just shattered at my feet.
Dammit, Athena,
take away my father's gold.
Send me away to live with lepers.
Give me a pimple or two.
But my face. To have men never again
be able to gaze at my face,
growing stupid in anticipation
of that first touch,
how can any woman live like that?
How will I be able
to watch their warm bodies turn to rock
when their only sin was desiring me?
All they want is to see me sweat.
They only want to touch my face
and run their fingers through my....

my hair

is it moving?
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 17
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Posted: 4/6/2007 6:59:11 AM
Thank you blitznboltz... and welcome. It's a great pond :)
Please feel free to plant seedlings,
water the ground
fertilize at will...
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
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Posted: 4/6/2007 8:36:34 PM
Time... for some more fertile words of inspiration
This one is another favourite
by Ursula Rucker
spoken words to musical arrangement by 4Hero

Time

It’s time
It’s time… little sparkle in my eye
To fly
It’s time… little sparkle in my eye
To fly
To fly

Please… Yahweh… many named
Don’t make me go to the other side
Why?
Haven’t I been a good child?
Why?
Haven’t I been a good child?

Angels mourn me
Fallen angels beckon me
As… Satan waits to press me into service
I don’t deserve this
Curse his heavenly betrayal
Sell my soul hold my fate in omni hands
Scatter my purity like the sands of 12 tribes
While I hide in this flesh vessel
Given me
Will she protect me?
Will she neglect me?
Some… thing, like false security
These, these words of love
Soft belly rubs
This wet warm
This fetal form
My scorn becomes need and no condition
And innocent… seems like years from God’s eye…
To birth’s first cry

Alive… Alive, Alive… Alive
Alive… Alive… Alive, Alive… Alive

My mortality realized now human child
Now… miles ahead and miles away
I still feel betrayed
Mother’s milk though somewhat hot, sweet and loving
But nothing
No, nothing like Manna
Scanned the planet for my Earth nurse
Traversed universe
Blessed unheavenly hearth with gift of me
I know she wants me… but evil’s henchmen hunt me
She’ll need an army to keep harm from me
Your impunity displeases me… as I grow
Their disunity seizes me
In time to be, I will cease to be
Yours… yours… yours… yours…

Four score and several centuries
Misery… not even a word
Blurred by the beam of Eden
But serpent’s scheming made them heathen
Serpent’s scheming made us heathens
Fate chiselers, renegades, resistors of the truth twisters
I want those demons screaming… under foot of hearkened angels
Demise won’t… be too… painful

I’ve learned Darwin’s theory well
Just an ism?
No, not while my inner schism has me in its grasp
Threatening to suck me like Cleopatra’s asp
Now I’m the one with loaded guns
Murdering other mother’s sons
Making devil swell with pride
As I ride Hades riverboat
Choke on the blood of my victims
Sin, my one desire
Stoke the fires of hell
I’m in the belly of the beast
Peace… an anomaly
Covenant’s ark… an Indiana Jones myth to me
I join the rest to spit and pee… on your memory… your legacy… your love for me
Maybe…
You’ll have someone put a bullet in my heart
Start my journey
No, not to kill me
Just to wake me
So I surrender
So I remember the wealth of my name
So I remember the wealth of my name

My names have been… Jesus and Moses and Mohammed
I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
My names have been… Jesus and Moses and Mohammed

I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
I see Heaven and Canaan and Mecca
On my return
As I return
As I return
As I return
As I return
As I return

-Ursula Rucker
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 19
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Posted: 4/14/2007 10:35:20 PM

The forms and shapes reached me, on some strange plane of singing stars.
Fractal figments of the way we dream.

Brolga, brightly woven...

Fractal figments of the way we dream
in tiny, high-speed bursts,
encoded signals from a far off time
out of time
tiny crop circles embossed on mitochondria
are we out of time?
or are we o u t . . o f . . t i m e ?
when will infinity be enough?

the grasshopper knows...
when you slice the moments
sharper than a blade of grass
they will cut you to ribbons
better to flow in between
like a chiming breeze
or a glacier
quicksilver
heavy clotted cream
menstrual blood
it's all flow.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 20
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Posted: 4/14/2007 11:07:07 PM
Return of the Prodigal Dog

His reproachful gaze
on our reunion,
retrieval from a farm named purgatory,
with apple trees
a compost heap
two barns
with barn cats
baby humans
generating unlimited table scraps
vast open fields to run in
a man to throw sticks
soft dirt
a waterfall
a stream
acres of boggy, primeval forest
deer spoor
and unrealized potential for herding live sheep.

All this, thrown away
for a fleeting moment
of toothy gratification.

Yesterday, on Mont Royal,
he saw other dogs
for the first time in months.
I have rarely seen him as joyful
as during the ensuing orgy
of butt-sniffing,
tail-gyrating,
peeing memoranda.

I look into his eyes,
and he holds up a picture...
myself, small and helpless,
feeling abandoned,
just wanting
to be loved by mom.

My heart cracks open again,
I fall in love.
Finally,
someone to take me
for walks.

Guess he's a city dog after all.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 22
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Posted: 4/15/2007 7:42:11 AM
I have yet to met a man
who inspired me to drive
halfway across the country for him.

For this puppy?
I would have driven across the whole continent.

They love so unconditionally...
it nearly broke my heart
when the first thing he did
upon my arrival
was jump into the driver's seat of my car
and wait to be taken home.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 23
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Posted: 4/23/2007 5:41:10 AM
Joy of Breath

Air takes its sweet time reaching my soul’s extremity
numb and quiescent ‘til i breathe it in deep
oxygen hits, and it bursts into flower
a patch of noxious weeds
makes my nose run
and eyes weep

In times of doubt, the growth so virulent
it cracks the pavement of my soul
grinds slabs of ancestral stone
across my battered heart
no longer whole

I raise a host of nimble-fingered faeries and a pair
of interdimensional gardening gloves
to pluck invaders by the roots
and plant sweet-smelling
blooms in there
instead

A bouquet of love to Self inscribed in bumblebees
and petals, twining branches heavy with song
of canary, blackbird and nightingale
fragrant fruited saplings long
toward becoming
mighty trees

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 24
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Posted: 4/30/2007 10:32:13 PM
Temple

Some days, it doesn’t quite fit right
like an old jacket that shrank
just before it went out of style
and I can feel the pressure of time
muscling in between the cells
turning to acrimonious cinders
every particle complaining
as my soul, mortified
stands slightly apart
from the corporeal drama
too visceral by far
for the celestial discernment
of my only bulletproof component

I recoil from the meat
in horror, already feeling the erosion
a terminal disease that lasts a lifetime
killing me slowly, one molecule at a time
all the while making ridiculous demands
feed me, exercise me
damn thing can’t even fly
although the autopilot function
seems pretty efficient

Futile attempts to call home
only confirm that the antenna won’t work
unless I engage the hardware
dammit.

There’s no instruction manual
only quantum shortcuts
diagnostics screaming anguish
on every dimension
I shrink away reflexively
and stop breathing for a moment
as if that might turn down the volume.
frantically twiddling dials
looking for

Quiet.

Reaching through static
I finally hear it, singing...
the crystalline voice of my soul,
in tongue of creaking hinge,
stuttering sirens in the distance,
sonorous church bells spliced
into rattling air conditioners.
Herds of cats prowl the alleys howling my name
even my DNA shouts scurrilous suggestions
tulips thrust brazenly heavenward
a small child on a tricycle shakes her fist
all of it telling me
look up
look
up…

fat drops of rain slam gently into my upturned face
the reproachful punches of pixies
a reminder to settle down
and stay a while
every molecule speaks to me
jostling each other in a cataclysmic dance
eager to pass on the divine message…

Be still.

Breathe.

Surrender.

Love.

And my temple snaps into focus around me
just like that.

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 25
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Posted: 5/2/2007 9:35:37 AM
Thanks REM, I'd love to come by for tea and mythology...
(I hope you don't mind if I post a rerun once in a while...)

My muse is the slow-burning kind
although she will occasionally provide
a spectacular explosion of expression
once she is done, I find myself
feeling a bit raw and introverted...
maybe a little charred around the edges.

Amid this sea of prolific poets
I feel a bit intimidated
but my muse doesn't care
she lights up when it suits her...
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 26
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Posted: 7/14/2007 4:48:01 PM
Well so much for my muse
no sooner do I accuse her of willfullness
than she's off painting the walls
painted my interior walls with tears first
to soften the ground of my creativity perhaps?
after two months of sucking back salt
to replenish my electrolytes
she is almost ready
to come out and play.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 27
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Posted: 7/14/2007 9:49:41 PM
I seem to be experiencing a period of technical difficulties
staying fully present... that may be why my muse left for an extended vacation.
-----

Power Suit

turning my back on financial district clones
I step into a glass elevator
shooting up and out into cerulean possibility

my power suit hangs just outside of me
wrinkle-free, hums with unseen mystery
a holographic mapping on each cell’s potential
mitochondria a gateway to interdimensional
absoluteness, my wings realized,
the taste of pure physics, crystallized
sweetness… no more limitation
of earthly mass, just pure vibration
fueling acts of creation.

I plug into my power suit memory
step into the vastness of eons
flicking on banks of DNA
meanwhile… back in my humanity
superpowers ignite into awareness
I’m a bird, I’m a plane, I rain
chaos across a plain of confusion
debugging routines reveal only illusion
I stride through broken millennia
across dementia and into despair,
as I process the remembrance…

there is no suit, the suit is me
it animates my nerve and bone
but just beyond my fourth wall floats
a leviathan scaled heavenly host
complete with ultraviolet hum
of spinning angelic choirs
most ancient of holies,
entangled in a carbon-based slum

and I, I am supposed to fit, somehow
into this… fleshy cage.
claustrophobic until fully engaged
enraged, I know it now
There is no suit, just frail ephemera
of protoplasmic chimera

perception filtered through grainy protocols
slowly losing it in translation
the wonder of my humanity palls
next to god-like transmutation
dimly recollected
in some akashic corridor
still not quite believing
I was taken in
by some recruiter’s spiel
extolling the virtues
of the fantastic instrumentation
available in every size, colour, gender,
you are infinitely upgradeable
they told me.

sullied ranks of enlisted angels
reeling with the heady fumes of mortality
all kitted out with their mobile suits
it must be the instrument, they say
me, I have my doubts…
even as the suit fails mid-stride
this torpid wetware lacks only instruction
anagogic codes of activation
long forgotten documentation\
celestial maps penned in blood and gold
on mobius loops of DNA controlled
by paradox, surrender now
while we download your new instructions
do you wish to restart?

&&&
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 28
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Poetree of Axis Mundi
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:10:35 AM
My mind does seem to work in a fairly unique way...
I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that there are few who will be able to follow me down these convoluted paths. Or perhaps few who are willing.
Yet still my spirit drives me to forge ahead on this particular path, lonely as it may be.
My true self is mostly hidden from casual view.
I sit in radiant silence, like some mysterious temple locked in primordial jungle, awaiting those few intrepid explorers with courage and vision to wield language like flaming swords and surgical lasers, those few who are willing to transcend this human container we inhabit and reach for a far more ancient potential. Those who can do all this, and yet still honour and exalt the human form as the miraculous instrument it truly is.
After many years of attempting to fit in on the 'civilized' plains of the collective dream, I have retreated to the most uncharted wilderness of consciousness, my truest home - here sits my power, my magic, and I am no longer willing to live a life without them.

I guess that makes me fairly eccentric. :)
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