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 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 12
What Do You Think Of Mixed MarriagesPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
At 11 years old - it can be anything that gets them bullied - not just skin color.

Parents need to detect their kids attitude about others that are not just like them - and stop that kind of crap at home.

That little girl needs to be shown just how pretty and how special ALL people are. Halle Berry comes to mind here. She needs to know that she is a blend of daddy and mommy just like EVERYONE else is. And we all have different skin tones.

They should tell her it is the type of person doing the name calling - not her skin tone. Like everything else in that age group kids need to stay away from the little dorks that would find something to tease others about - too tall - too skinny - too fat - glasses - too smart - those kinds of kids will always find something.

The real problem is not with her skin color - it is with the bullies parents. And maybe the parents of the parents.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 14
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:32:05 AM
Ah, I've been here. I've been called an oreo so many times since I was kid, I've lost count.
It's hard sometimes because when you have a mixed family, the prejudice can come from both sides of the fence. In my case growing up, I went to a Catholic school-- I had the white people who made it clear I was not welcome--they wouldn't even shake hands with me in church, but then there were also black people who expected me to apologize for growing up the way I did--as if I have to prove how black I was by talking or dressing a certain way, or listening to a certain kind of music, or fulfilling some kind of stereotype as to what it means to be black..and if I didn't I was accused of "selling out" or "trying to be white." (And sadly, crap like this still goes on today....)
My parents were together for over 30 years (up to and including my father's death two years ago)--they got together in the early 1970's and the prejudice they had to face was ten times worse than today. I even had to suffer the intolerance and cruelty from my own family--I didn't even see my own grandparents (my mom's parents) for years because they wanted nothing to do with my father, brother and myself. But I had plenty of people in my corner--friends, family, etc.--who led by example; they never treated me any differently than anyone else, and let me know that I was, in fact, special---in truth, I had the best of both worlds.

A lot of those experiences shaped who I am today and how I see others. When it comes to dating, if I feel a connection with someone--whether they are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, whatever--then I go with the flow and don't give a rat's a** what other people think. And I'll still feel that way if I ever decide to get married. It's not always easy, but if you go into this situation with an open heart and mind, and a willingness to learn about a different side of things, then it's possible to have a loving relationship with someone who comes from a different background. My parents were proof enough of that.

Okay, stepping off the soapbox...
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 28
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/26/2007 7:54:55 AM
I think that any two people that love each other should get married and have kids. I'm confused by the "why should the kids suffer" comment. Children that are the product of a loving environment are far better prepared for life than children coming from a pair of "same ethnicity" losers! I know some of you will say that it's due to the torment of other kids. I think that every generation is a little more tolerant and compassionate than the one before it, and most kids are subject to teasing in one form or another anyway.

Besides (and maybe it's just me), I usually find the children of parents of different race's to pick up the best features from both their Mom and Dad. They usually end up better looking and certainly more exotic in appearance than us 100% back-woods rednecks! Have you ever seen Halle Berry?
 innocentantic
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 36
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/27/2007 5:26:11 PM
I'm not one to say "the premise of the question offends me," as I see as a possible choice on some questions on another site. And this one doesn't, but I don't understand why anyone that's not a cloak carrying racist would ask it. Marraiges between people of different races are worthy of questioning? Do you really want to talk to people that think they should be questioned?

What a waste of time.
 ace76
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 38
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:35 PM
I think society hasn't fully accepted it yet, although it is getting better.

But, it depends where you're at. On the street I live on, there's literally more mixed couples than couples that are not, so its far more accepted than other places.

I should also say that this is from an outsider's perception. I don't date interracially (it's a physical attraction thing, nothing more), so I don't completely know how taxing society is on from the inside of such a relationship.
 littlelired
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 40
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/28/2007 7:28:22 AM
as a 4-10 woman i have no problem with dating a man that is 6-6 does that answer your question??
 ace76
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 45
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:49:10 AM
lilnursemama, as ALSO a Genalogist of 20+ years, having traced my family, in some cases back to 1385, I will agree with what you're saying in terms of 'acceptance.' But, in relation to that it will take time before full interracial dating has the acceptance of, say, intereuropean dating has in 100 years.

Again, being perfectly clear that I think it's completely fine, i'm going to propose a controversial idea for people to ponder, though:

When people marry of different races (or, for the matter, radically different cultures) and have children, those children are left in a bit of a bind. They're neither culture entirely, and by that definition, semi-ostracized from both, leaving them with neither, or having to choose one over the other.

Case in point: Alicia Keys (born Alicia J. Augello-Cook)

She's Italian and African American.

Have I heard her ONCE talk about her Italian side in public? About her mother? Once? NO. NEVER.

She's all about "Ghetto Story" this and that.

So, it's clear that she's chosen to deny one part of her heritage over another.

Or, say Mariah Carey. She's lighter than Alicia, and as a result was never really accepted by the White or African-American community completely and was left into some sort of limbo inbetween both.

Again, I'm not saying it's wrong in any way, shape or form, but as people are becoming more and more separated as communities (culturally), which seems to be the trend (Whites with Whites, African-Americans with African-Americans, Latinos with Latinos, everyone with their own TV stations, radio stations, streets, shows, holidays, etc), this WILL pose a problem and moreso than it did in the past when everyone was just "proud to be an American."

Just something to consider / debate. :)
 NFPexec
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 48
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/28/2007 12:00:39 PM
"I totally agree that it doesnt matter what race you date/marry I mean here in canada there is alot of mixed messages and nothing wrong with that. As far as the remarks made to your neice just remember children are cruel if it wasnt her skin colour it would be something else I hope this is just a stepping stone to build her character."

I agree with this posting. We've always heard that kids are cruel and they are and if it wasn't her skin color it would be something else. I was teased growing up and at the time it was very painful but I survived and it's in the past. Many of my former classmates who were picked on for all sorts of stupid things are successful adults now.

Everyone wants to protect kids from the cruel realities of the world but the reality is that it can be a cruel world. All you can do it talk to them and try to equip them with the tools to face the world and all the crap that gets thrown at them over a lifetime.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 9/28/2007 12:25:23 PM
There's nothing wrong with mixed relationships OR marriages. In this day and age people are having enough of a hard time trying to find someone of the same race...let alone a different one. I say if you find someone to love and they love you back, go with it. All else is small stuff.

As a racially mixed child, I may have questioned my heritage and all that, but it was specifically because I didn't know my father and therefore didn't have a direct influence from him to adhere to. Children of more than one culture who are loved and get to spend time with both parents usually don't have feelings of where to belong. That comes more from absentee parents and abandonment.

As I got older I realized I was truly blessed, not cursed because I was made up of so many cultures...I can make friends with and blend into any social situation and a part of me belongs there. I can see both sides of the fence in a lot of cases racially so I really get an educated and balanced view of society (whites are not the only racists out there, in other words)...sure I got called names and all that as a kid, but the other kids never upset me, it was the parents who backed them up and called me the same name I found disturbing. And I learned from that too...ignorance and racism is learned from older generations.

Nowadays its a different generation and mindset. Racism isn't gone, but it's mostly older generations and certain areas of the country that are a bit behind in their thinking. I agree that if it's not race it's just something else when you're a kid. Kids just pick on other kids generally...


That little girl needs to be shown just how pretty and how special ALL people are. Halle Berry comes to mind here. She needs to know that she is a blend of daddy and mommy just like EVERYONE else is. And we all have different skin tones.

Aside from being totally jealous of Halle Berry and wishing I looked like her, she once said something interesting after winning an award for her portrayal of Dorothy Dandridge....she said "this is for black women everywhere" and it made me think.
I don't think you should squash any part of yourself, including your white heritage. She seems to downplay it, and I don't really think that's a good thing....maybe she's not too thrilled with that side of the family, but it just seems to me that she often plays up her black history more. Just thinking out loud.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:33:23 AM
It's always the children who are hurt .....and they are the innocent ones who had no say in this choice.

BS...I hate people who speak for mixed children that aren't mixed themselves. That's a wive's tale. Mixed children are still children, and are resilliant - and when I grew up things were much more segregated. I did just fine. It's WAY easier today, unless you live in an area that's still living in the 50s. Don't believe that "do it for the kids" crap. As I said before, if anything being mixed gave me a sense of understanding from both sides and a feeling I belonged anywhere. I think it made me more well balanced, and took my focus off color and instead I dealt with people as individuals.

What DID hurt me was the type of parenting I was subjected to and an absentee parent, both of which have nothing to do with race.

Reenie, that would be sad, except that there is no "black world" or "white world." Your acquaintance's children either married into families of asshats or were themselves unpleasant or oversensitive. Sooooooo many people could care less what anyone's "heritage" is, and they are black, white, and everything else and in-between.

Exactly. Doubtful that those children weren't accepted for race as much as the people they're dealing with were less than classy. Happens all the time. If you're smart, you realize that and you don't let it bother you, regardless of race or background.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 64
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 10/6/2007 6:54:23 PM

What two consenting adults do is nobody's business but their own....but in my opinion they should think VERY carefully before they bring children into the world.


While I can see where some people state these things, but I so don't agree. I'm as white as Casper, my exhusband is Portugeuse. He adopted my son, we married and that meant we all share a last name that appears Latino/Hispanic/Spanish-Portugeuse. Based upon our last name alone, it's assumed we are of a race other than Irish/German (my son and I.) How silly. There have been issues, comments, and one time the Aryan Brothren made my son and I a target for some nasty comments, threatening movements and even threw stuff at us. PFT on that. We are probably more white than they were. This topic makes me ill. People are just people. My son certainly did not suffer by loving a man who loved him back, yet gave him a perceived "ethnic" last name. I kept the last name post-divorce out of respect for the man who so loved my son, yet I have been questioned as to heritage....that's simply ridiculous in my mind.

In my family, we have the League of Nations. And since some of my Mormon cousins have found having biological children impossible, we have added three nations in one chunk via adoption. They are just children. If adults don't fill children's heads with these notions, I doubt the hate would continue. Children don't wake up one morning with racial thoughts ~ they are taught those things. JMO
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 66
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 10/7/2007 1:09:47 PM

To verygreeneyez:
I was commenting on the OPs post regarding Black/White unions. What on earth has that got to do with a Portugese ex-husband or your Mormon cousins' adoptions??


What does it have to do with you? You stated that someone should think carefully about having children who may be interracial. I was attempting to explain that "interracial" is sometimes perceived even when it is NOT the case. I'm sorry you missed the reference. In addition, sometimes quoting someone may indicate the entire post was intended for ONE poster, when in fact, one may be posting to the thread as a whole, not to just one person.

~OT~ Marry the person, not the color. Have children if you prefer to have children. My opinion is that I live my life and my life only ~ who am I to judge who has children or who marries who??? Unless it's happening in my house, it's really none of my business. JMO
 TEXASBANDIT
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 71
What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:33:38 AM
God has and always will have the final say,and he knows everones heart, those people will be held accountable that speak ill will against any of his children.
 RR Man
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 72
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:55:38 PM
I'm going to answer this question with a question. Has anyone (male or female) experienced anything like this?

I'm a white male. For most of my life, I worked in a majority-black organization, and many of the offices I worked in were majority-black. Not a problem. But THIS was:

Some of the black people in the office thought I was racist because I wasn't interested in dating black women. Some of them practically made me out to be a Klansman! It really p***ed me off. I consider myself a liberal on social issues, including race relations. But I've never been attracted to black women. Does that make me a hypocrite?
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 74
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:13:48 AM
Mixed Marriages are great. Sometimes their children are a whole new kind of beautiful. More power to them.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 76
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What Do You Think Of Mixed Marriages
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:41:21 AM
I think racist "society" is a little too broad of a statement. Lets say an environment that allows racism to exist.
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