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 alvysinger
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 1
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The Art of the Response?Page 1 of 1    
Greeting, fellow fishers,

Internet dating seems to have its own logic, and I wonder if anyone else has encountered some of the ambiguities I've run into in terms of email.

My question is simple:

If someone responds to your "first contact" email -- a lengthy response, even -- but fails to ask a question of any kind to you, do you find this odd in some way? When I'm talking to someone in person, it's usually kind of a game of ping-pong. I say something, open it up, ask a question, perhaps, and the other person relates their feelings on the matter, and then looks for some kind of reaction to what they said. I've noticed with emails here that some people will respond and speak volumes, but won't really pitch it back to you. They won't ask you a question in response. Perhaps they just want to talk? I was just wondering if it's an indication of interest vs. lack of interest. It's easy to read to much or too little into email when you haven't spoken yet. :)

Has anyone else encountered this?

Good luck to all fishers!
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 2
The Art of the Response?
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:21:31 AM
Ya know.....................I've encountered this a bit from the other side and might add this........

A few times I have asked very simple and quite innocent questions concering what KIND of work they do, the AREA of a city or state they live and so on with nothing specific asked or desired---approximations only. In reply I've received comments that I'm rushing into asking things too quickly or that I might be a potential stalker. Other times when I've mostly let them lead where the conversation goes I've been accused of not being interested since I did NOT ask questions! So is there a balance there somewhere? Yes there is but not everyone can find it---some might not understand the concept!

When I write someone I tend to offer information and encourage questions if I've not discussed things they'd like to know about me. Interesting thing about this is I can tell a lot about someone from what they write about and how much time is spent on any one particual subject. I'm not all that smart but it doesn't take a genius to realize things like this.

Naturally if a reply don't reflect something discussed in past emails then we do have a problem but that's not been that common an occurence for me to date. Add in we all tend to interpret things through our own filters it takes a bit of time to really become acquainted with someone in emails or letters alone.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
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The Art of the Response?
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:35:16 AM
i love your screen name, op.

over time, people seem to loosen up throughout communication. things will gradually unfold that give you a more complete picture of the individual. many times we stick to superficial topics. this provides us with a safe space for exchange. if a connection develops we go a bit deeper. but it takes a while, just like in real time.
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