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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 1
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I am actually interested in how people spend their time. What do we all do during our days. I have found that men(since I have been speaking to men, I can only use them as an example) do not want to talk about their work. They will flirt, talk about movies, talk about their dogs, but shy away from what they realy do. Why? What am I missing?
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:27:51 PM
Shooot, I'll talking about my work... problem is most people dont really understand it till I break it down.
Non-Destructive Testing Technician.... NDT for short.
 Terrible Flirt
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:30:23 PM
Hmm...Didn't know this was really a problem. I think my work is interesting but it is pretty technical and I guess, unless you have a similar background, the nuts and bolts of it might come off as boring. I guess I wouldn't really think to talk a lot about it unless someone expressed an interest (or at least did a good job of faking it) . Then I would have no problem doing so.
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 4
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:10:13 PM
That is breaking it down, is it? LOL
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 5
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:14:03 PM
Reply to message 5

Maybe hard for me to understand, but never boring, and rather a challenge for you to explain. Glad you would try though. Thanks.
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 6
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:18:16 PM
reply to Msg 3

I have to admit, something like this did occur to me. Shame really. If someone doesn't stand behind what they do or what they want to do, I definitely veer away. Deceit is such a bore.
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 7
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:37:19 PM
Reply toMsg 7

Movies are great, but I prefer the real thing. What we do is central to us. I like hearing about it, in detail. It is easy to turn the conversation, if my head begins to fog over, and I can hardly blame someone for boring me, when I initiated the topic.
Thanks for your feedback.
 AppleGeek
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 8
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:49:31 PM
Non-disclosure agreements weed out alot of the details. That and the glazed look they get in there eyes. Its only gonna get worse if we get a classified contract.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 9
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:56:53 PM
I think in meeting you, first getting to know you, we're interested in how you see your job, what you do, and such. To clarify, the problem comes later when after you've been dating, when "all you talk about is work" and wont open up about anything else.
 Realityissubjective
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 10
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:16:04 PM

That is breaking it down, is it? LOL


...heh heh heh ... and that was just the Title!
NDT is a way to test the quality of construction of a structure/assembly of a product or material. It is a sub caterogy to the Quality Assurance Dept.

Most notably would be Xray (welds for cracks and porosity and to *see* within a part or product to ensure correct parts assembly) Pretty much the same technology as medical Xrays...except the radiation dosages we use can make body parts literally *fall off*. Well also use N-Ray technology for use with Organic materials. Another category would be *Source* inspections using a Raidioactive source material such as Cesium and others. Used mostly in the field on the Oil Pipe Line to ensure the welds are holding up. Very dangerous work that... cant pay ME enough to do it.

Dye penetrant, using a surface preparation of UV coatings to also check for cracks etc..they show up under a black Light.

Vacuum Testing, to check if a *sealed* assembly is in fact sealed and able to within stand pressure/hold pressure and to measure the leak rate of said volumn used in conjunction with Nitrogen as its an inert gas. A can of beer has a leak rate of approx 3% over a given period of time...Thats why an unopened can of beer will goe flat if it sits around long enough, as there is no such thing as a *Perfect* vacuum. Everything Leaks....eventually.

Magnaflux, only to be used with things materials that can be magnetized. Similiar to Dye Penetrant... but just. Mag Particle can identify sub surface flaws or cracks. As the solution contains an UV dye the is attracted to the magnetic waves and a higher concentration will show up as a Bright spot on the surface above the flaw/cracks

Hydro Static testing is similiar to Vacuum except you used Water Pressure.

Ultra sound, does the same thing as the Ultra sound used on expectant mothers. We dont use that particular technique.. mainly used in aviation to check for stress fractures on the surface of aircraft...wings, engine mount etc.

....I can see yer eyes starting to fog over Butbutbutterfly, so I'll stop there!
Most the time I just tell people I play with things that go Boom
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 11
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:10:11 PM
I find men who take pride in their work talk about their work constantly....and usually have a harder time in sharing more life details.
 HikingFitGuy
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 12
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/20/2007 4:54:36 AM
My job is not very glamerous, so I hate talking about it. When I have finished work, I don't want to be associated with it at all.

I base my worth and confidence on my inherent personality and my passions in life. Most jobs are boring and mundane, but unfortunately it seems many women only want to date guys with high profile jobs.
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 13
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/20/2007 9:55:12 AM
Can't speak for anyone else, but for me part of it is because the stuff I do is extremely technical and only a very small subset of the dating population would have the slightest idea of what I was talking about, the other part is because the kind of stuff I read would be considered mind-bogglingly boring by some people.

Some jobs are just like that.

I met a girl who works in a narrow subset of banking... there was maybe less than a few thousand people in the entire country of Canada who would really understand the nitty-gritty of the work she does (her department handles billions, but there's less than 10 people in her department). When I met her, the conversation of what she did for a living came up... her generic answer to everyone was that she works in an office.

She has found that trying to explain her work to other people just leads to eyes glazing as people beginning gnawing their own legs off in a bid to escape.

She actually goes into shock when she meets someone socially that actually understands the technicals of what she does for a living.
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 14
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/20/2007 2:05:13 PM
Well I did ask! Got a lot of chuckles, even if it has made me a little paranoid now, about saying those obviously dreaded words, "And what do you do?."
By the way, my eyes don't fog over, that is just the smoke from my brain, trying to understand, but I have found it is well worth it in the end.
I wish I could have been a fly on the ceiling, when ibechuck told the poor, unsuspecting girl he, " played with things that went boom."
 Realityissubjective
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 16
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/20/2007 3:12:31 PM
Butbutbutterfly,
Actually you shouldve seen the look on her face when I asked her if SHE wanted to play with something that went *Boom*
 OptimumTaurus
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 17
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/21/2007 9:30:48 AM
I don't talk about my current work situation, because while I'm making enough money to do what I need to do, it's not the kind of work I really want to be doing, so it's not so much a part of who I am. What happens at work stays at work.

The job I had previously? I couldn't shut up about it. To me, it's not a matter of money as much as it's a matter of whether or not I actually want to talk about my work in places other than work.
 thermo_guy
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 18
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/21/2007 2:21:36 PM
I will gladly talk about what I do for a living. Granted, how many women want to hear about a long black, slender object that is full of seaman? OH pull your heads out of the gutter. I work on a submarine. Granted, I have to walk a fine line with what I do as a lot of what I do is classified. So, that does limit things somewhat. Not to mention, what I do today, is not what I did yesterday, and will not be what I will do tomorrow. Life on a sub is different stuff day after day. So, unless you are willing to listen to 10 minutes of lead up to explain what I do, talking about my work can be very tedious.

Just for example, on the sub, I have to bounce between being a nuclear reactor operator, an electronics tech, an instructor doing both one on one training and class room training, and being involved in a large amount of quality assurance work. As you can see, unless you are familiar with what I work on, you will get lost pretty quickly.

Chris, aka Thermomonkey, the radioactive monkey

P.S. Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day for a year will expose you to 1.5 times the total radiation that I have received over a 17 year career working on a nuclear powered sub. Scary???
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 19
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:29:48 AM
its something guys do. we dont bring our personal lives into work, and we dont bring our work home with us.

we dont even like to talk about work, when we are on break. 'no shop talk' is our mantra. we are on break, leave the work talk for when we are on the clock.

on the flip side, women dont actually talk about work either. When you ask your gf what her and her friend talked about 'oh we just talked about work' what they really talked about was the PEOPLE at work, and any stories they learned.

I have never in my life heard a gf tell me 'oh well today i had to inventory the back wall, what a pain'. its always been 'jenny called in sick so amy and i had to cover for her, God she does that all the time. i wish she would just quit so we could hire someone new blah blah'.

try dating a ditch digger, and see how interesting his stories are. or a coal miner. or a telemarketer. There just isnt that much interesting things work related to talk about, unless you are a ninja, or a stuntman.
 h0ldfast
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 20
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:35:52 AM
Work life is unpleasant. Few people are doing what they would really like to do in their careers, and face the prospect of doing the same thing for decades, until they can retire. The workplace is full of disappointments and humiliations on a daily basis. A lot of men probably want to set it aside when they get home and concentrate on what is important in life, e.g. family, relationships and anything else that happens outside of work.
 Realityissubjective
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 21
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Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:36:08 AM
Theres a lot of truth with what He ^^^ says.
I forgot about the *Social* aspect of Shop talk, thinking back over my previous relationship it stays true to form. Not so much the *doing* of a Job as oppose to the *goings on* at the job.
The primary exception was one gal was an ER Nurse, she had some good stories.
 yellowcotton
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 22
Why is it so hard to get men to talk about their work?
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:29:48 PM
[Okay work talk maybe boring , but it talks about you as a individual . Goals what you plan on doing . ]

Yep. How can you even begin to understand someone, unless you understand why they are doing what they are doing?
As for salary, it is just impolite to ask financial questions. Not what I had in mind at all. In a perfct world, we would all make the same salary, as long as we took pride in, and did our work, no matter what it was. That would sure ruffle some feathers. As for goldiggers, if she tells you are wonderful, on the first date, after checking out what kind of credit cards you have-it is kind of a hint. LOL But how are you going to hide that fancy car and $500 sunglasses.
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