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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...      Home login  
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 4
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...Page 1 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
I say get a vibrator.....less hassle and more reliable hehe
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 8
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:58:24 AM
FWB= boarderline slut in my eyes!!
I don't believe I could enter a realtionship with a girl knowing she would have meaningless sex with someone. that is to be shared with some one you care about.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 11
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:23:17 AM
I can’t seem to do it.

After being married most of my life - I became unmarried 4 years ago and ........ here came all the sex just for the sake of sex.

I tried ... I tried to be a “now guy”

It don’t work for me - SOMEHOW my weinersnitzel knows the difference.

For some damn reason I just don’t like sex for just the sake of sex with some gal - that I could be any guy to.

I wan’t my sex buddy to have feelings for ME - not just some guy to have sex with.

The idea behind it sounds great ....... I tried ... one of the gals was GORGEOUS. She was 44 yo - 5’8” - 123 pounds - black hair big pretty blue eyes - nice hOOters ................. had sex with her twice ...... I really tried to “like it” but ..... we were not in any kind of real relationship - she liked me for sex but ...... she was not my gf .. I was not her bf ....... it just did not seem right to me.

I’ve had three other offers from nice looking gals - they all knew I did not sleep around - they all knew I was bug free. They viewed me as a good choice for a fOOk buddy. I just can’t do it.

I so miss sex but ... I want to have sex with someone that is special to me and I am special to her.
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 14
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:33:28 AM
Oouch! I would feel like a fish without water.
Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 18
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:42:01 AM

at the risk of sounding stupid, what is an fwb?

Friends With Benefits

(Don't worry, it took me a moment to figure it out as well. )

Personally, I don't think that it's possible, since, in order for them to be a friend, there HAS to be some sort of bond there.

Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 21
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:50:41 AM
A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments

Um...How do I get one of those????
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 24
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:44:20 PM
I don't believe it can happen. Sure there are one night stands but to have an on going sexual relationship there has to be an emotional bonding. Some friends can accomplish that, but still there is a degree of caring involved.

Now someone who is very self controlled, narcissistic or a sociopath might not ever show the caring emotions, but then they will keep you distant in all areas to keep it under control.

I had a relationship like that, with a man who had been in counter intelligence in the military for 20 plus years..(I fell head over heals and the passion was unbelievable)....And he also was very narcissistic by nature. He would never have admitted to me or himself he had feelings....nor would he allow them to show. It was me who was deeply in love. He knew this and also knew that was the "hook" he had in me. It was a long distance relationship and lasted for over 2 years. Not ever having been with someone like this took some time to sort it all out and he eventually killed the desire to ever be with him again, in me. Do I still have feelings for him....yes....but would never allow myself to go back in that relationship again or anything that even resembled this. It was very emotionally damaging and hurtful to me.

I do believe some men are capable of this. Many years ago I worked with two married men who traveled and played around all the time. I asked one how he could refrain from emotional attachment and his reply was. "When I first sense the women are getting emotionally involved with me....I end the relationship"

I feel only those men who are very narcissistic or are sociopaths can maintain this type of life style.
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 28
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:39:04 PM
Yes, it is very possible....I tend to think older people can handle this type of relationship better. It depends also on whether that is truely what the two people involved want. If it is a mutual desire to have a relationship without emotional attachments...there shouldn't be any issues unless one person changes their mind.
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 33
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:30:12 PM
OP: this is not something i can do, and it is something i do not wish to do. but i know for many people it does work...
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 47
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:13:01 AM
Laughin, sorry..

From what I've seen with my friends and peeps that I know, the only woman that we know that can have sex without feelings is what "we" refer to as a Man-gina... ( A man with a vagina = sex w/o anything, emotional feelings, thought, or emotions)

Men ( allot of them, not all) can do this, cause what ever rubs them the right way, is good enough !! ( so I've been told)

Although it is the year 2007 and sex is refered to more often as "Just Sex" I just cant do that..

If I could just have (the act of) sex and feel everything that I do with a significant other ( passion, togetherness, that special bond) my sex life wouldn't be so non-existant !!
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 49
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 4:24:43 AM
I please the 5th, but hey -- it's possible, but trust me, if you don't like drama, don't take the risk.
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 53
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 6:43:54 AM
Nope. Not in the long term. One of the two will soon mess up the "stress relief" by letting emotions in.
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 57
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:31:10 AM

Being Married to one person and screwing someone, else is entirely different. You are getting your emotional needs fulfilled in your home, with your spouse and family.

One question....does your spouse also have a "friends with benefit" and would you be so sure of yourself, if they did? It puts a whole different dynamics on the situation.
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 60
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:09:18 AM
gardennut, my response to her was based on her post....

Blondie......."we both sought excitement outside of marriage"

Also in reading her profile.....she is fair game to any who wish to this type of entertainment......not to picky at all, I would say. Immoral guys, who don't smoke....puke

She should hope that Karma doesn't bite her in the ass......and she gets more excitement than she bargained
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 63
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:25:54 AM
I used to think so.

I had a 10 year on and off sexual relationship with a good friend. She and I would get together sexually if and when we were single and were strict friends when we had other relationship interests. Then one day out of the blue she told me she was in love with me and had been for many years. Then it just got weird. She became very angry with me because no matter what, I would never be able to love her like she loved me. I felt terrible about it... and wondered why she could not have told me about her feelings much earlier. Everything else between us was pretty frank and open. I would have remained friends with her for life but she decided that it was either love or nothing so.....

I think in some circumstances it's possible, but it hasn't been that way in my experience.
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 70
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:43:27 AM
what ? a sexual relationship can happen with out emotion ? I can't do it . I am one who gets attached real fast . sex to me , there must be something that draws me toward you .
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 77
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:05:38 AM
I think it is possible but not probable. I have several online male friends who have told me in the past that they have entered into "purely" sexual relationships with women. My response was that the relationships wouldn't stay that way--they women would want more.

The men insisted not--they had made it plain: "This is ONLY about sex" and the women agreed.

Guess what? Every man reported back anywhere from three weeks to a couple of months later that the woman said that she now "wanted more than just sex" because she had gotten attached.

This works both ways--I have had men become very attached to me and want more than a casual dating relationship, but it wasn't what I wanted.
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 84
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 9:02:42 PM
right wasser, attachments always happen, and right drg ^^^ big difference between sex and lovemaking.
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 85
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/30/2007 2:26:34 AM
Yes, it's possible, and I have one of those.

I've been meeting someone once a month or so to have some intense, mind-blowing sex. We've been doing this for FIVE years. After our hookups, he goes his way and I go mine, until we meet again.

I like him and we are friends, but that's as far as it goes. I've yet to consider taking it to the 'next level' and I never will. If you want to say that liking him constitutes an emotional attachment, then fill yer boots. I see it simply as a FWB arrangement that works well for us.

Note: this arrangement is part of the polyamorous relationship that I have with my man. He's aware of my FWB and is more than fine with it.

Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 89
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:30:27 AM
Its funny I did this for a couple yrs...and I did get to a point where i thoughti could get emotionally attatched to the guy...but then i got past it...i dont know how but after a while it was just a fun activity....a yr and a half later it just seemed a stupid waste of my time. Why the hell would someone not want to be emotionally attatched to a person???If your holding back cuz of baggage and crap in your past then grow up and abstain till you get your head on the drunks do
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 97
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:43:45 PM
lol here i am....given my age and some life experiences and interaction with men (and I can only speak from a female point of view) If they are somewhat narcissistic or sociopath, they prey on the emotions of the women they wish to capture, to gain emotional control and get what they want. SEX I don't believe a mentally, emotionally, healthy person (male or female) with some sense of values, integrity or virtue, can interact sexually with another person without having some emotional involvement.

As I mentioned earlier, (someone I met on a dating site...long distance) I was involved with a man who chased me for 6 months, did everything he could to encourage me to have an interest in him. Gave me lots of attention and indicated he was very smitten with me. I thought we were good friends and he at least cared for me in a friendship and as a human being. He knew exactly who I was, what I was looking for and how badly I had been hurt in a previous relationship.

When I finally agreed to meet him, it was wonderful. He went out of his way to make it one of the most romantic dates I had ever had. He made reservations for me in a historical hotel, (the room was $230.00 a night) had a jacuzzi tub in the bedroom, a dozen yellow roses, romantic music, candles and wine there, waiting for me. I was swept off my feet by his attention and attentivness. All those things were wonderful but it was him I fell in love with and the passion was unbelievable.

Little did I know what I was dealing with. As it turned out this man was very manipulative, actually quit emotionally devoid of feelings and when he knew I was hooked, it all started changing. I couldn't figure out what I was dealing with, since I had no concept of this type of personality. I refer to him as "Crazy" since that was what I came to call him....because that is exactly what he did to me....drove me crazy. I knew him for 2 years or should I say this person existed to me for two years, but never did I know who he really was and that was just the way he wanted it, He knew exactly who I was mentally and emotionally....He knew the pain I was in emotionally and his only concern was if I was interested in meeting him.......for sex. And no he never put it that way, each time he was charming until I agreed to meet him again and when I was come here, have sex with me, I'm done, now leave....I dont know where my head was, it was my heart that betrayed me.

I finally found out....hell he had women in 5 states he was seeing for sexual entertainment.....I was just one of the group.... I ended it and I still have no idea who this man really was.
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 99
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:11:11 PM have your filters set to must be male.....I was going to email you...but cant get through.....I wish you the best in your future searches....I find...I'm reluctant to even try anymore, due to my experience. Good Luck....
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 102
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...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 5/3/2007 4:06:29 PM
Hey there,

Just my 2 cents worth...When I was young I did it all the time..After I was married, I liked the personal touch...Now that I am divorced after 22 years, I have no desire for that kind of relationship. It would seem empty afterwards and I would feel empty...Besides, it's immoral:*)

Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 104
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:33:22 PM
Msg: 1 -- I think it's entirely possible. Two very jaded individuals who have totally given up on love but happen to be friends may very well decide to chuck the romantic fantasy and become permanent, exclusive FWBs. I am rapidly approaching that point myself.
Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 109
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 5/10/2007 9:53:10 PM
Ok, here goes. I haven't really looked at all 6 pages of replies to this topic, but I thought I would give my own opinion. Consider this fact, there are over 6.5 billion people in the world today. I would bet money that at least one of them believes you can have a long term sexual relationship with someone without having feelings of love with them. Take for instance, in some middle eastern countries, men still have more then one wife. Do you think a man that has 8 wives actually loves every single one of them? Wouldn't this also be considered a long term sexual relationship without the bonding of love? My opinion is this, yes, you can have a friend with benefits relationship as long as it is established right at the very beginning and if one of them started having those feelings of love, then they would need to discuss it and either break it up, or persue it further. It also has to do with upbringing. There are many people that have never known love in their lives because they never got love while growing up so sex to them is the only emotion they might have ever known and it fills that empty void. To me, I wouldn't be able to handle a long term sexual relationship, because I know myself enough to know I would start having feelings, but there are people out there that could do it I'm sure.
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