|Predicament....Page 1 of 1 |
|There is a limit to some things... but honestly give it a try. You can't say you don't like it if you haven't tried. I've tried a few things outside my comfort zone only to find... well... yeah... I enjoyed them.|
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:18:20 PM
|Why dont you just see if you can tolerate it- |
you like him - try it, thats all. What would I do-
short of the suffocation thing- LOL!! that would freak me
out -I would try it - Nothing wrong with at least trying it for him.
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:29:37 PM
|Don't try the bondage things until you COMPLETELY & UTTERLY TRUST HIM!!! Stepping out of your comfort sone could even be a turn-on in itself. Take it slow and like many posters have said, set your boundries. Establish one-word as a "absolutely-postively-stop-right-now-I'm-no-longer-having-fun" term. And try it out one time (without him knowing it's a test) to make sure that he respects you, and your boundries.|
Posted: 4/27/2007 6:16:53 PM
|Experimentation with bondage and pain are easy to bail out of if you don't like it. Suffocation, obviously, can kill you and playing around with it has put many people in the ground. It's putting yourself in an incredibly vulnerable position with someone who is into pushing things to the extreme. I'd say this guy is a little too kinked to play safe with.|
Posted: 4/27/2007 8:41:14 PM
|"and so on" can cover so much.|
A lot of people here have suggested you be open and try some of these things. That's your call, but I would give you one warning: decide beforehand what you think is just "out of your comfort zone" and what crosses the line (in your eyes) into immoral. If you go outside your comfort zone and don't like it, no loss. If you aren't comfortable with something because you're not sure about the *morality* of it, don't try it - because that you WILL regret.
Posted: 4/28/2007 7:10:27 PM
|I met a nice man from another site one time. We chatted online for quite a while. Had several lovely phone conversations. Met for lunch. I think I scared him off 'cause of some of the things I mentioned to him. As he put it (and we joked about it a lot later) he is strictly *VANILLA* and I am definitely *SWIRL*. He's not interested in trying anything. Period. End. Stop. He's a nice man, very interesting, mild chemistry (altho I'm sure it would have been a lot MORE if he'd opened up and relaxed a little!!)... lovely voice (speaking and singing!!), plays guitar, fabulous bod for a man his age... but OMFG is he bland when it comes to some things.|
The best thing in the world is to be with someone that respects you for who you are. To be with someone who is open minded enough to listen to you when you speak about the things that you are into and who doesn't laugh or cringe or run shrieking from the room is also good. It's totally ok to NOT be into the same things as someone. It's ok to say to them, hey.. thank you for trusting me with these very personal details, I just want you to know that I'm not really into those things, would you be able to forgo some of them if you were to be in a relationship with me? I have opened my mind to many things in the last year, some of which made me VERY uncomfortable at first to even discuss. I'm totally ok with who I am, and where I am in my life. I also know that some of those things I'm now open to aren't things that I am interested in personally, but would do for/with the right partner should they be into or interested in those things. I do it, or would do it for them. Having said that tho, you should never do something that you aren't comfortable with. Ever.
Would you be comfortable in allowing this man to do these things with a *play partner* as long as those *play sessions* do not involved sex??? I do not, and can not fathom extreme pain or blood sports (along with a few others), and I'd like to think I'm open enough to be able to allow any partner of mine the freedom to explore this side of themselves with someone that can satisfy that part of them. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with them having a sexual relationship with another person... that would depend on a whole lot of things (and still my gut reaction is NO FREAKIN' WAY!!). I've never been there, so can't say what I would or wouldn't do.
I HAVE been where you are tho. I kind of tucked tail and ran. I still talk with the guy on a nearly daily basis as he's become a dear close friend of mine. The reason I ran had nothing to do with his interests tho.