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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > looking for older women but why?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 9
looking for older women but why?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Mmmm like 90% of the women who approach me (as in first contact) on PoF are at least 10 years older than me. I have no idea why! Why don't you just steal my profile and use it instead. *LOL*
 nutbarz
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 11
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 5/10/2007 1:47:25 PM
Here kitty kitty....
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 12
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 5/10/2007 2:20:13 PM
A interesting article about younger male/older female relationships

The Pros

boy toy

Often, older women are newly divorced, and looking to sow their wild oats. Getting involved with a man who isn't looking for a serious relationship and wants to have fun is the perfect solution.
Younger men have the stamina and carefree attitude to satisfy their need for a wild ride. So, if you're looking to learn a thing or two between the sheets, look no further than an older woman. After all, she's no longer sexually inhibited, knows what she wants, and probably has a few tricks up her sleeve.


she's over it

More often than not, an older woman has faced her insecurities and fears head on, and has dealt with them to the best of her abilities. She likely has enough life experience to know what matters and what doesn't. Consequently, she's above the petty nonsense that drives you crazy about women your own age. An older woman has figured out what makes her look fat, and what looks good on her, and knows enough about male-female relationships to not bother you with feminine trivialities that usually serve to turn men off anyway.
Older women have the self-confidence that could only come from experience and the knowledge that they can handle whatever life throws their way. That is not to say that they never have a bad day, but merely that it's probably due to something more than the fact that they have a pimple and a party to go to that night.

The Cons

bag lady

Common sense dictates that you cannot be 40 years old and single, and not have a significant amount of baggage. Ex-boyfriends, husbands, children, ex-step-children, pending divorces, business pressures, financial obligations, and debts can often be part of the package.
You must be ready and willing to accept this reality if you are going to get romantically linked with an older woman. This is not to say that you will be asked to deal with these issues per sé ; rather you must realize that an older woman generally has more to worry about than that bushy-tailed co-ed at your dorm.

mrs. robinson

One cannot deny the allure of the older woman, younger man relationship. But, this relationship remains slightly taboo, unlike the other way around, where the man is much older than the woman, which is perfectly acceptable. After all, no one raised an eyebrow when Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas.
Like it or not, by getting involved with an older woman, you are putting yourself in a situation where the moral majority -- people like your parents and boss -- will frown upon you. On the up side, you may become your buddies' hero, and they will start begging you to reveal what it's like.

In any case, people will talk. If you are secure enough in the relationship, or you actually like the attention, then, by all means, proceed.




http://www.askmen.com/love/vanessa_100/102_love_secrets.html
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 15
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 5/10/2007 7:30:20 PM

The Pros

boy toy

Often, older women are newly divorced, and looking to sow their wild oats. Getting involved with a man who isn't looking for a serious relationship and wants to have fun is the perfect solution.
Younger men have the stamina and carefree attitude to satisfy their need for a wild ride. So, if you're looking to learn a thing or two between the sheets, look no further than an older woman. After all, she's no longer sexually inhibited, knows what she wants, and probably has a few tricks up her sleeve.


she's over it

More often than not, an older woman has faced her insecurities and fears head on, and has dealt with them to the best of her abilities. She likely has enough life experience to know what matters and what doesn't. Consequently, she's above the petty nonsense that drives you crazy about women your own age. An older woman has figured out what makes her look fat, and what looks good on her, and knows enough about male-female relationships to not bother you with feminine trivialities that usually serve to turn men off anyway.
Older women have the self-confidence that could only come from experience and the knowledge that they can handle whatever life throws their way. That is not to say that they never have a bad day, but merely that it's probably due to something more than the fact that they have a pimple and a party to go to that night.


I agree with parts of this article. Sex is a factor, but not always the only factor. Older women have more sexual experience. Younger men have the sex drive and energy. Some older woman have more common interests with younger men. Some older women also like younger men because a lot of younger men have active lifestyles. Some younger men like older women because they are often more confident, mature, and wiser. A couple of other factors.

More attractive 40+ yr old women
1. Medical advances have slowed down the aging process.
2. 40+ yr old women are taking care of their bodies by exercising and having a good diet.
3. 40+ yr old women often know what looks good on them. Makeup, wardrobe, hairstyle, other skin/beauty products.

More single 30+ yr old women
1. Higher divorce rate
2. More women are waiting longer to get married.



The Cons

bag lady

Common sense dictates that you cannot be 40 years old and single, and not have a significant amount of baggage. Ex-boyfriends, husbands, children, ex-step-children, pending divorces, business pressures, financial obligations, and debts can often be part of the package.
You must be ready and willing to accept this reality if you are going to get romantically linked with an older woman. This is not to say that you will be asked to deal with these issues per sé ; rather you must realize that an older woman generally has more to worry about than that bushy-tailed co-ed at your dorm.

mrs. robinson

One cannot deny the allure of the older woman, younger man relationship. But, this relationship remains slightly taboo, unlike the other way around, where the man is much older than the woman, which is perfectly acceptable. After all, no one raised an eyebrow when Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas.
Like it or not, by getting involved with an older woman, you are putting yourself in a situation where the moral majority -- people like your parents and boss -- will frown upon you. On the up side, you may become your buddies' hero, and they will start begging you to reveal what it's like.

In any case, people will talk. If you are secure enough in the relationship, or you actually like the attention, then, by all means, proceed.


The potential drawbacks of an older woman can also affect other people and relationships. The 25 yr old women who has 2 kids from a previous relationship or has financial debts from college loans. There are other relationships that some people might not like. Interracial relationships, a tall woman dating a short man, a skinny person dating a fat person etc. I think the biggest potential drawback is long term future goals. Some older women might want to re-married and he doesn't want to get married yet or vice versa. She wants kids right away ( before she is no longer able to have kids ) and he doesn't. She can't/won't have more kids and he wants kids.

Personally my age limit for dating an older woman would probably be around 10-12 years older than me.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 18
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:20:31 AM

Sex is a factor, but not always the only factor.


There are other types of relationships where sex and materialistic things are major factors. It can apply to a couple around the same age whether they are 25, 35, 45, or 55. It defintely can apply to older men and younger women. Donald Trump, Larry King, Woody Allen, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky etc. The younger woman dates the older man because he is rich, famous, and powerful. The older man dates the younger woman only because he thinks she is attractive.


More attractive 40+ yr old women
1. Medical advances have slowed down the aging process.
2. 40+ yr old women are taking care of their bodies by exercising and having a good diet.
3. 40+ yr old women often know what looks good on them. Makeup, wardrobe, hairstyle, other skin/beauty products.


These things probably won't turn a 4 into a 10, but it could turn a 6 into a 8 or 9. A lot of young women began exercising and watching what they eat in the 1980s. They were in 20s then. Now they are in their 40s. There are new and improved beauty products, anti-aging products and fashion styles that didn't exist in the past.


More single 30+ yr old women
1. Higher divorce rate
2. More women are waiting longer to get married.


Many years ago, many women got married at a young age and stayed married. A lot of women were housewives. Now a lot of women are college educated and want to start their career before they get married and have a family. I read somewhere that the divorce rate is around 50% so about 1 of 2 marriages end up in divorce.


There are other relationships that some people might not like. Interracial relationships, a tall woman dating a short man, a skinny person dating a fat person etc.


A few more examples. Dating someone from a different religion or "lower" social/economic class. For example a rich woman who dates a working class, blue collar man.


I think the biggest potential drawback is long term future goals.


I think this depends on the age difference and the age of the woman. If a woman is under 40 and the age difference is under 10 yrs, then I think this would less likely to be a problem. Most women under 40 can decide on whether have to kids have now, wait a few years, and not have kids at all.
 GuitarGuy_
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 19
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:26:34 AM
haha no offence New Lover but thats quite the profile pic you have going on there!


LOL



Bring it, dude!
 sun_shine_2008
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 35
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 11/15/2007 4:39:38 PM
I have gotten approached by alot of younger guys and frankly I am attracted to younger guys but it seems like it takes very little contact before the talk gets sexual. Nothing against sex mind you but I need to have a connection with someone first not just any young hot bod, and to date I have not found that.
 mistressdolly
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 42
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 12/7/2007 11:33:21 AM
Perhaps you find high esteem and confidence combined with wisdom sexy.

Mistress Dolly
original
 LChin1978
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 58
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 9/3/2008 8:01:55 PM
My experience with every younger man I have dated, not just chatted with online, but actually gone out with is that they DO want that one thing, and that's pretty much all they want.
It's soured my feelings towards younger men. While I realize not every young man is like the ones I've dated, if a younger guy was persuing me it would take some convincing!
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 67
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:00:06 AM
I am just here for a good chat to kill time when bored. I seem to be the most popular with the 19-24 yr olds. Some days it is so bad that my headline says "Is your father hot and single". Out of the 10 ones that I have talked to more than once, only 3 seem to be sensible and are not looking to bang me 'til my ears bleed....not good ones
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 68
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:27:38 AM
Excuse my typo..that should say not good odds, not ones...Thank you to the 20 yr old who brought it to my attention....
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 78
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 9/10/2008 8:22:07 AM
I really hate the terms milf and cougar, believe it or not, there are alot of ignorant ,desperate women who actually take this as a compliment.


The term "cougar" is not always considered to be derogatory. Some people use it to describe an older woman who usually dates younger men or an attractive "older" woman.Some other people use the term to describe attractive "older" women. Usually women in their late 30s, 40s, or early 50s. It is simply a matter of persepctive and how the term is used.


Whevever there is a thread about older women / younger men, some older women will claim that younger men are immature or are only looking for sex. These things are true in some cases. But these things can also easily apply to some older men as well. It is perfectly fine not to be interested in younger men. But I don't think people should generalize all younger men based on some experiences.


I agree. I'm 31 yrs old. If I was single, I would have no problem dating a woman in her late 30s or early 40s. For example, Boston sports gal is 40 ( Msg 61 ). But I would date her because she is attractive and we have some common interests.
 Remagine
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 80
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:29:05 PM
These young guys are just victims of popular culture. When I was in my 20s I had my share of older women after me (usually the office ladies) but I found the whole thing gross. Maybe I was naive but all I cared about were the lovely 20-somethings from within my social circle. The media & the Internet have made the "cougar" thing acceptable and more accessable.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 105
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 10/12/2010 7:28:56 AM
OP- the problem isn't necessarily with older women...most women of the same age as a man are inherently more mature....so if you are with an older woman, esp one that is 10 years older or so she'll likely be light years ahead of you.

so unless you're a man that truly has his sh1t together- the dynamics will most likely be off.

it goes against the natural order of things.


personally i believe that most guys that go for older women do so because at some level they can be easier for the guy to get in bed.

and that's what he's really attracted to.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 108
view profile
History
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 11/4/2010 3:31:17 PM
I date the person, not the age. If the woman is older then me, and there is chemistry and we have commonality of interests there then I will date them. Why you may ask? Because, for me it means that there is a chance of long-term success. Afterall, isn't that what dating is about the eventuality of long-term compatiablity?
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 110
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 11/5/2010 5:41:16 PM
*Laugh* Of course it's about sex in 9,9 out of 10 cases. Why would a significantly younger guy want to waste his youth on someone who passed his age decades ago? It really takes a twisted cougar to think even for a second that there's more to it than that. Someone mentioned that it's a trend and I fully agree. Trends tend to go away. Quite frankly I think that both men and women are fed up with it anyway. The porn industry as well as Hollywood has been spreading a lot of immorality over the years and that's where $hit like this is emitting from.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 121
looking for older women but why?
Posted: 11/16/2010 6:27:52 PM
I could write a novel about younger women vs older women, etc. My conclusion after many dates as well as short relationships with both is that older women play exactly type of games you'd expect from a much younger woman. Maybe they're more settled in life with a house, car, a job, kids old enough to be out their own, etc., but that's basically it. I mean, if those were the goals in life then what's next? To find a younger guy to screw, play around with and justify it by bashing down on men their own age by calling them old, grey and boring? That's no justication because it's a complete lie in the first place. It's not because someone else is grey and boring, it's because SHE is bored with her OWN life and blames it on someone or something else. Her frustration comes out in all kinds stupid shapes and forms, including sleeping around - as if THAT would make her happier. At the end of the day she's just the same old woman she was before she chose that path late(r) in life.

As for baggage, of course younger women have less baggage. They're less scarred, they don't carry around so many disappointments, no man bashing and all that stuff. Even though they don't have the same life experience as an older woman, but hey, some older women (cougars) don't seem to mind that so why should men their age care? Young flesh seems to be more important than common ground and experience in life for these individuals. So yeah, it's 99% about sex. If someone wants to belive that a 15-20 years younger has much interest beyond that I wish you good luck indeed.
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