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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > would you ever lie about ur age      Home login  
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 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 3
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would you ever lie about ur agePage 1 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Nope. I think its shallow and pathetic when either gender does.
 yeldnileus
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 11
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 4/27/2005 6:19:30 PM
Nope ... I'm old enough to know better, young enough not to care *lol*
 Raven34
Joined: 3/8/2005
Msg: 17
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 4/27/2005 7:59:04 PM
No need to lie.....each year is just a little more experience and wisdom (I hope...lol) Nothing wrong with that.
 HAHANOW
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 19
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 4/27/2005 10:29:23 PM
I did when I was 19 to get into clubs. Now I am proud to be my age !
 HAHANOW
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 22
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 4/28/2005 4:49:48 PM
44 is the sge I would love to stay at! LOL
 captainjanuary
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 30
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/1/2005 11:15:34 PM
i would-but no one would believe im 18..lol
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 32
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/3/2005 10:14:03 AM
I find that I have to get the right people to look at me. I hate to, I'm one of the most honest people you will find, but having kids in life is much more important than a little lie about age. I set it straight immediately in my profile, as soon as they learn a little about me.

I've been fighting this for years, I'm sure if I told people I was 42 I'd be snapped up in an instant but being 50 I'm not even looked at twice. This obsession with age thing has basically wasted my life. I want kids, can't do it by myself, life isn't life without kids. Don't tell me to adopt, I don't want and don't think it's fair to choose a single parent family for a child. I want the whole complete package, not just the kids, but a family and mostly a wife and partner.

I just wish there was some way to get Americans to not be so age conscious. It's not going to happen but I can still wish. American advertising has indoctrinated us with youth is the thing to strive for.

I've "wasted" more then 10 years of my life (no facts, just beliefs, more on this in a minute) because women want somebody within a couple years of their own age, and know they will find it if they keep looking. Numerous women (active, educated, late 30's, no kids) probably close to a thousand of them on the net have told me I'm perfect but you live in Kansas and you are just too old for me. 2 years later I find them still looking, and still have the same feeling. Meanwhile we've wasted 2 more years of out lives, when will they figure out that 2 years out of a lifetime is a major percentage of a useful adult lifespan.

It's not only women that think like this, men too. They know that next week they will meet the one they are looking for; the complete package, and they will find them 10 miles away. 2 years later they still know this because, there are millions of people on the net and they haven't met them all, there has to be one perfect one for me out there. There may be, but there may not, and the chances that they are on the same site at the same time, pretty slim. I'm on over a dozen sites right now; I've talked to 1000's for many years, read over 50,000 ads. Met close to 50. Most of these have just been the "What the hell he's in the neighborhood" things, I know if I'm going to win somebody over it has to be done in person, the 50 on the paper just kills any chances I have. I know I'm a strange duck but I'm not that bad. People need to be realistic, look for what's really important don't compromise that, but be flexible on the rest. Age is not one of the important things.

Back to Wasted, I want kids, always have, and always will, life is not complete without them. As long as it's still possible I'm going for the brass ring. I won't adopt into a single parent household, I want the family, mom dad, kids, dog, picket fence, etc. A kid should have two parents, I won't make the choice of a single parent household for a child, it's different to end up that way and deal with it, but it's not right for me to selfishly choose that for a child, because of what I want. So am I wrong for wasting 10 years, I don't think so, but how do you give up on a dream that is still possible. I have a quandary here, refuting my own argument, since age is something I'm looking for, since women over 40 don't and shouldn't feel comfortable giving birth, but I think this is a legitimate reason to consider age important.

I open for discussion, this to me is one of my hottest topics. I don't like it, but I don't think I have a choice in the matter.
 hac3011
Joined: 4/30/2005
Msg: 33
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/3/2005 4:03:35 PM
Unfortunately, you are right. A person in your position would be stereotyped as a man in a mid-life crisis rather than a man looking for a younger woman so that he may have a family. The media's focus on staying young seems to be everywhere, and you fall right into it. I will be honest, I would probably not consider dating a man in your age range. This would be for a couple of reasons. The first reason, my father would only be 5 years older than you and I would feel uncomfortable with dating someone that close to my father's age. Lets be honest here if you are 50+ and I at 34 start dating you how much time would I really have with you. I have a friend that is my age and married a man 20 years her senior. He passed away just this past Christmas.

I do not see any reason why someone my age should not look for someone that is closer to their age. The biggest reason being the commonality between us. Someone that is 50+ is not going, in all reality, going to love Linkin Park and Depeche Mode. Would you honestly have anything in common with my 20 something friends? Maybe my 30 something friends, but I still think that is stretching it. Unfortunately, in your situation you would need to date or be with a younger woman to have the child you so desire. Never rule out a single-parent family, many people are doing it and you can give your child all the love in the world on your own. I have been doing it for ten years and honestly would not change a thing!

I do wish you luck in your search!
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 36
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/3/2005 5:52:13 PM
@hac First thanks for your view, now may I rip you a new one.

Two comments: First; what does your father’s age have to do with anything in this situation? That's exactly the type of thinking I'm fighting here totally irrational. The common interest thing is rational that's ok. That's a good reason to select or not select somebody. If you have things in common with somebody and you enjoy their company, age shouldn't be a big concern.

Two; Anybody can die at any time, true older people probably die more often, but so do city people, and people with, is it type A personality (the worrier, business types), and high cholesterol people, and high blood pressure people, and heavy drinkers and.... I don't see people shying away from them, well maybe the drinkers. I'd be willing to bet the person your friend married was not a backpacking mountain climber at age 50 or single handing a sailboat across the gulf of Mexico, or a windsurfer or whitewater kayaker or somebody that ridden a bicycle over a 500 miles in the last year. So that is also irrelevant. I don't think I have a foot in the grave, but who knows anyone of us could be gone tomorrow.

You have to look at the whole package, not just date of manufacture. Just like a car, the lifespan and usefull life left is much more dependant on the care and maintenance then the date of manufacture.

Americans are too busy eating Big Macs, Drinking too many Cokes, using too much medication trying to earn enough money so they can have enough to join a health club that they don't have enough time to use. If they would just slow down and smell the roses maybe they would have time to figure out what's important in life and live a little longer to enjoy it. What's that I smell........ ah roses,......... I just wish there was somebody else here to smell these.............. wild Multiflora roses on the pasture fence... Look its a blue bird, and there's a tufted titmouse, and a nut hatch, aren't they fun to watch, when they walk down the tree upside down. Hear that its a wild turkey....

 hac3011
Joined: 4/30/2005
Msg: 37
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/3/2005 9:42:42 PM
Your points are well taken, but still stick by my reasoning.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 38
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/3/2005 10:11:45 PM
@ hac: One other thing, it was said I wouldn't have anything in common with your friends because of my age.

Even though my age is 50, I'm not really 50, I don't live the life of the 50 year old men that you are thinking of, I'm not like your dad, because I've not had kids and I haven't had to grow up. Like my profile says I'm 38 with 12 years of experieince, granted I do know where I was when JFK was killed, and I did know about Woodstock before it happened. As far as differnce in music goes, even if I was 35 I still wouldn't like all that stuff that you like because I've grown up dancing to and enjoying country music, it has nothing to do with my age, just life in a different part of the country and different lifestyle. I do happend to know who the Beatles are and did own and wear a neru jacket once but that's not stuff that ought to keep somebody from talking too and liking somebody else. These things should not be deal breakers.

People like you* are wasting your life missing a good chance because you think your going to find that perfect mate on here next week. let mre tell you for most of you it ain't gonna happen, a few will, but most are going to have to compromise and every year that it takes you to realize that is another year wasted of an already very short time we spend on this planet, you only get one chance at this life, do it right and do the most that you can with what you got.


* take comfort that you are in the majority here, that doesn't make it right, but at least your not alone. When the lemmings head to the sea you'll be right there in the middle of the crowd. Americans as a general rule are really screwwed up on this issue, the advertisers have been extremely sucessful with behavior modification on this topic. Wake up America!!
 Jroch
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 39
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/11/2005 9:07:30 AM
No. If asked I tell them how old i am, and when my birthday is- (for the zodiac crowd).
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 41
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would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/11/2005 10:40:41 AM
jheld - I don't know what the heck you've been doing with your life for the past 50 years, but why are you blaming everyone, society, women who don't like your age, etc, for it? Whose fault is it you've wasted that time?

I've met a lot of guys with this problem - they come out of high school seeking perfection. They watch their friends get married, have kids, get divorced, and all the time they're thinking "I'm superior to them, I'm not making those mistakes". Somewhere along the line these guys panic and realize that life is passing them by. Sounds like you got there a little later than most. What got you to that point? An idealized concept? Was nobody ever quite perfect enough for you? Or have you been partying away, never thinking of tomorrow, only now to decide you should have been doing things differently?

Most guys your age are grandfathers by now. Most people decide to have kids with someone in a similar age range, so that their partner will be there to help them raise their children and be at a similar stage of life. What you are expecting is unrealistic, and you are bitterly complaining that nobody wants to help you accomplish your goal.

Maybe your goal needs to change. Maybe you could consider dating people that already have children, if you need children in your life. If you insist on only having your own, biological children, perhaps you might consider a surrogate mother/sperm donor situation.

If you start lying about your age, your relationships will not get very far, IMHO. All I know is when I was in the 25-30 age range, it would have been a major turn off to be approached by a 50 year old with a need to breed.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 46
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/11/2005 11:41:46 PM
@astrosky: My story; I've wanted kids my entire life. I was married for 9 year to a women that said she didn’t want kids, she was young when we got married, I figured after a few years that the motherly instinct would kick in, it never did, she said she didn't want to be as bad an mom as hers was, a long story. Her mom wasn't bad at all. Any way after 9 years she decided she didn’t want me, that blindsided me, I was in for the duration, even though it wasn't what I wanted we weren't fighting just not loving either, I made a promise, I was sticking to it. I would have been 34 at the time, a few years later I was normal again and started looking. I spent a couple years learning that Kansas has very few outdoors active, want kids, non-traditional work environment type women. Now I'm 40. At that time I was a member of few singles groups, even president of the local one, but women don't join singles groups till after they figure out everything else has failed and that happens when they are to old to have kids. I join a national agriculture singles group and end up being a national director. Again it's all 40 and up, too old for what I need. I have also met a number of women along the way, got side tracked with a couple of relationships, most can't have kids, and I mostly learn that I have to have kids to feel complete so those relationships don't work. I'm now 45 or so and getting to old for the younger (33-38 yr old) women to want me. I find the internet matching sites, think this is the answer to my problem; surely there is somebody out there to recognize the gem here, one that still wants kid and will not be so hung up on age. 5 years later and 50,000 profiles read, and thousands of emails, I’m still single. The last 10 years of my life in my opinion have been wasted because women are so hung up on age. I'd be happy for you to prove me wrong. I'm listening.

Women with kids would be fine too, and adoption is a possibility, but I don't want to only have kids I want a family and that means a wife and partner. I wouldn't choose a single parent family for a child, a child should have two parents. It's one thing to end up a single parent, quite another to choose that. I'm not that selfish to choose that for a child just because I want to be a dad.

I only lie about my age long enough to get them to read a little bit about me. I tell the truth in the profile. Women that want kids aren't going to search the 50 year old men, the percentages aren't there for them to have any hope of success, so to get read and found I have to lie. If dating site search engines wouldn't require an age it would not be as much of a problem. If they could search for want kids and nothing else they would find me, but the age is required so they put something that they would like to find instead of what they might consider. I know women if given a choice aren't going to want me but maybe after learning about me they can deicde that my age really isn't that important.
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 47
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/12/2005 12:00:23 AM
NO WAY....I love my age....every year of my thirtys has been the best year of my life so far.....I turn 38 next month.....and I'm actually looking forward to my forties!!!!

 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 51
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/12/2005 6:47:42 AM
@ longte: I've considered that, I think the Russians are my best bet, I think they are closest to the same lifestyle. I have emailed back and forth with a few Russians and probably will end up going that direction.

I just find it hard to believe that there isn't one American woman smart enough to realize the potential in me.

I have also heard the stories but know of many success stories too. Like anything in life it's a calculated risk. It is very difficult to determine their motives and it’s very hard to determine compatibility when they are so desperate to improve their life they are inclined to say and do anything. It would be so much better if I could invite them to the US for a couple months to see how they handle the culture shock and how they handle my lifestyle.
 ramcharger
Joined: 6/5/2004
Msg: 58
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would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 5/27/2005 9:26:32 PM
I wish you were lying next to me

 HAHANOW
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 85
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/24/2005 6:48:27 PM
No Need to
 snowbird1111
Joined: 5/15/2005
Msg: 90
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/24/2005 8:58:59 PM
You betcha LOL this is as old as I am getting


PS good advice to the guy about the phillipians, my brother met one online went over and married her , started the paperwork and moved her here, she has adjusted very well, she is 36 he is 59. Age is very respected over there, go figure LOL I also know about 15 others now who have married Phillipino women and no problems at all. The men are awful there so to be treated nicely goes a long way with them, check out cherryblossums date site

Another friend tried the Russian thing and got burned really bad, heard horror stoories about them, as soon as they are here , off they go... scream domestic abuse and divorce you, I'd stay away from the russians
 huggieangel
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 93
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/25/2005 1:57:50 AM
Never. What is the point, you get found out anyway.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 101
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:01:02 AM
I can't recall ever lieing about my age and I sure wouldn't now!
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 103
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would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/27/2005 1:10:22 PM
No. I'm only 29. LOL
 TGIF
Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 106
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/27/2005 8:40:35 PM
On my fiftieth - three months ago - I heard over and over from one woman that I looked good for 50. Really, really good for 50!
Hearing that you look good for your age is right up there with hearing that some kid likes older women - I guess I just don't know how to accept a compliment.
Do I or don't I look good and is the only appeal I have to young men that I am older?

I figure if I look good for 50, I look GREAT for 88. This website is the first time I have ever lied about my age. I'm honestly glad when people chose restrictions of age (even for friendship???) because I think it says volumes about them.
TGIF
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 115
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would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/30/2005 9:29:58 AM
No I never lie about being 46 I look older than my sis who is 51 (sun, smoking and wieght loss will do that) My other sis is 35-looks 25! So here is the great part my nephew (brothers kid) is visiting and says "I thought you were the youngest!" I guess that's 'cause I act like kid! so age is only a number but I still would never date someone more than 4-5 yrs younger than me-look yah flirt yah lust after yah but date naw
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 117
would you ever lie about ur age
Posted: 6/30/2005 9:52:16 AM
Let me say upon much serious consideration, if Oil of Olay paid me to do a commercial, THEN I would lie about my age.
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