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Show ALL Forums  > humor  > Punchlines      Home login  
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 4
PunchlinesPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Your gonna put what where???
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 5
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Posted: 6/6/2007 1:15:50 AM
"I just picked the scabs off."

"I just what to know what that turkey did to end up in there."

Getting the blood out of the clown suit.
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 6
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Posted: 2/11/2008 6:58:11 AM
Hey! I told you I'm crazy.... not stupid!
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 15
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:39:54 AM
Bloodied palms
 john_Earl Shilton
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 23
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:56:25 AM
'It's a pity Camila isn't here or we could have saved the Range Rover!'
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 31
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Posted: 8/29/2008 10:50:41 PM
the other guy is picking watermellons

in case it gets hot, i can roll down the window

oh shit, i lost my girlfriend too

she threw away all the "w"s

and that's the sum****that killed my dog

he was makin pun ub da way i tawk

and the gorilla looked down at the sliced bologna, looked up, then rubbed his eye.
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 32
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Posted: 8/30/2008 9:32:33 AM
What does that chunk want?
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 35
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Posted: 8/30/2008 4:17:36 PM
But then i realised it said `Thick Cut`!
 Egregious Philbin
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 36
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Posted: 8/30/2008 4:51:46 PM
Bring me my brown pants!

So the mouse said, "Suffer, ****!"

Forget the water, how about some more of that buttery corn?

Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.

Wow, then mommy musta sat on a chain saw!

I'll keep an eye out for you.

Also, how about jokes where the setup IS the punchline? I know one:
Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 46
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Posted: 1/10/2012 8:39:52 PM
This is like a treasure hunt. I don't recognize about half of these intriguing punchlines, and I'll have to look them up to find the rest of that joke.

Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 49
Posted: 12/19/2012 12:37:10 PM
Aaaarrrgggghhh... it's driving me nuts.
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 53
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Posted: 12/22/2012 11:51:41 PM
"What God wants - he keeps!"

It's his to keep....

I like this one A loving heart (and snow tires) is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle- I added to it ....sorry
 Ms Cheevious
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 54
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Posted: 12/27/2012 10:24:40 AM
"me and the Ole lady been having trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 55
Posted: 9/7/2013 12:01:43 PM
Either you have no pulse, or my watch is broken.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 56
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Posted: 10/12/2013 1:15:17 AM
He should have quit when he was a head

Now i have to tell the whole joke because my messages are too short.

A couple have been trying for years to have a bairn. Eventually
the wummin falls pregnant. After much pain she gives birth.
But all thats there is a head.

But over the years they nurture and love the head and take him
(yes they called the head mungo) to the beach, to the football
and away to spain on holiday.

Eventually its mungo the heads 18th birthday.
C'mon son says the dad, I'll take you down the pub to celebrate.

So laying the head on the bar the dad buys two whiskys.

Happy birthday son. As the dad puts the whisky to mungo
the heads lips a strange thing happens.
A torso sprouts out.
Another whisky and legs appear

Woo hoo they cry and down whiskys until a fully grown young
man stands there.

Right dad im away up the toon shouts a very drunk mungo,
steps out the bar, falls over a black cat ends up on the road
and gets hit and killed by a bus.

And the moral of the story is?
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 57
Posted: 1/8/2014 5:05:38 PM
James in SD- Looking for me
of course I picked the bicycle, what would I do with a cheerleaders uniform?
3, one stands on the stool, the other 2 turn the stool
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 58
Posted: 1/10/2014 4:31:47 PM

The Lifeguard said "Next time, put the potato in the front !"

I want all my friends to say, " look at that "S"-car-go ! "

And the Duck says.... " Can you get this guy off my ass? "
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 60
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Posted: 4/13/2014 3:17:01 AM
And then the farmer said to the new farmhand

"No, that's not salable milk, but yes, that would have been the right way to milk a cow."
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