Posted: 6/6/2007 1:15:50 AM
|"I just picked the scabs off."|
"I just what to know what that turkey did to end up in there."
Getting the blood out of the clown suit.
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:58:11 AM
|Hey! I told you I'm crazy.... not stupid!|
Posted: 4/10/2008 9:39:54 AM
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:56:25 AM
|'It's a pity Camila isn't here or we could have saved the Range Rover!'|
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:50:41 PM
|the other guy is picking watermellons|
in case it gets hot, i can roll down the window
oh shit, i lost my girlfriend too
she threw away all the "w"s
and that's the sum****that killed my dog
he was makin pun ub da way i tawk
and the gorilla looked down at the sliced bologna, looked up, then rubbed his eye.
Posted: 8/30/2008 9:32:33 AM
|What does that chunk want?|
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:17:36 PM
|But then i realised it said `Thick Cut`!|
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:51:46 PM
|Bring me my brown pants!|
So the mouse said, "Suffer, ****!"
Forget the water, how about some more of that buttery corn?
Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
Wow, then mommy musta sat on a chain saw!
I'll keep an eye out for you.
Also, how about jokes where the setup IS the punchline? I know one:
Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:39:52 PM
|This is like a treasure hunt. I don't recognize about half of these intriguing punchlines, and I'll have to look them up to find the rest of that joke.|
Posted: 12/19/2012 12:37:10 PM
|Aaaarrrgggghhh... it's driving me nuts.|
Posted: 12/22/2012 11:51:41 PM
|"What God wants - he keeps!"|
It's his to keep....
I like this one A loving heart (and snow tires) is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle- I added to it ....sorry
Posted: 12/27/2012 10:24:40 AM
|"me and the Ole lady been having trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."|
Posted: 9/7/2013 12:01:43 PM
|Either you have no pulse, or my watch is broken.|
Posted: 10/12/2013 1:15:17 AM
|He should have quit when he was a head|
Now i have to tell the whole joke because my messages are too short.
A couple have been trying for years to have a bairn. Eventually
the wummin falls pregnant. After much pain she gives birth.
But all thats there is a head.
But over the years they nurture and love the head and take him
(yes they called the head mungo) to the beach, to the football
and away to spain on holiday.
Eventually its mungo the heads 18th birthday.
C'mon son says the dad, I'll take you down the pub to celebrate.
So laying the head on the bar the dad buys two whiskys.
Happy birthday son. As the dad puts the whisky to mungo
the heads lips a strange thing happens.
A torso sprouts out.
Another whisky and legs appear
Woo hoo they cry and down whiskys until a fully grown young
man stands there.
Right dad im away up the toon shouts a very drunk mungo,
steps out the bar, falls over a black cat ends up on the road
and gets hit and killed by a bus.
And the moral of the story is?
Posted: 1/8/2014 5:05:38 PM
|James in SD- Looking for me|
of course I picked the bicycle, what would I do with a cheerleaders uniform?
3, one stands on the stool, the other 2 turn the stool
Posted: 1/10/2014 4:31:47 PM
The Lifeguard said "Next time, put the potato in the front !"
I want all my friends to say, " look at that "S"-car-go ! "
And the Duck says.... " Can you get this guy off my ass? "
Posted: 4/13/2014 3:17:01 AM
|And then the farmer said to the new farmhand|
"No, that's not salable milk, but yes, that would have been the right way to milk a cow."