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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Lets Get Racial!      Home login  
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 2
Lets Get Racial!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Why does it have to get racial? Those are some pretty preposterous comments, and if someone had the nerve to ask me a question like that, I would have to tell them that it is really isn't any of their business. I would also tell them, I prefer to not hear them talk to me at all.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:03:19 PM
Whose to say that you won't meet a man with dark skin, hair, eyes in the future? Not that it matters, but the reality is: race is only an issue if you make it an issue or allow it to be an issue ~ otherwise, most people just view a child as a child. Sort of an unusual question really. JMO
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 5
view profile
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 5:12:06 PM
Personally, I wouldn't care if a child I'm with don't look like me....I'd actually be relieved!! LOL

Don't worry about the little things...The right guy won't care.
EXAMPLE: Brad Pitt!! Gives you something to look forward to, now doesn't it??

Hi verygreeneyez!!
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 6:02:46 PM
^^^Yes, I agree with your sentiment. My family has our own League of Nations. My point was fairly clear, however. The OP will make race an issue with her own concerns. It's best she just live her life and let others be ignorant. It was my attempt to tell her, "who gives a ratz azz what someone else thinks....???" without being quite so blunt!!

We are ALL victims of prejudice(s) at one time or another. The trick, ignore it and realize that small-minds breed contempt. Nothing more, nothing less. If I worried about what someone else thought of me ~ I'd certainly have missed out on many wonderful people, places, things, etc., throughout my life. And oddly ~ a little racism makes me even more grateful that my family is who/how it is. ~"Embrace the differences.~"(Best advice anyone ever gave me.)
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 8:31:55 PM

She is going to have to learn to take the good with the bad just like all the rest of us.

Not true. Opinions are opinions. Judgments, however are an entirely different thing. Although everyone has a right to post an opinion, no one should be allowed to name-call, or verbally bash another poster (hence, why Moderators have a full-time job cleaning up dung here.) If rendering an opinion: tact, decency and a sense of courtesy should be merely common sense. (Not to mention, that's how people should treat other people no matter what venue they are in. ) However, judgments usually include nastiness. Which in my mind says much more about that individual poster than an OP of a thread. It's sort of like racism. "I don't like your situation so I can say rotten things to you ~ I don't like your color, so I can call you ugly names." PFT ~
 Terrible Flirt
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:06:09 PM
Hey PBjellyTIME, your little girl looks like a sweetheart. The innocence of a child is one of the most beautiful things in the world and it has nothing to do with race. Any person who sees color before that doesn't deserve the privilege of getting to know either of you.
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 19
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/23/2007 11:37:27 PM
i think at first i would feel pretty conspicious.... but not ashamed....
there's a little story there for people to read without asking..
but in time i could get used to it.....
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 22
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/24/2007 5:49:06 AM
However this thread has shown one thing. When confronted with something that the OP doesn't like she resorts to the child like behavior of insults.

So did you, so quit while you're ahead and stop bothering with a thread that you've already denounced. It's not rocket science.

Back to topic:

My cousin is black. We're the same age (though she's a few months older) and when we tell people, the reaction is both sad AND hilarious.

These are people we generally thought of as pretty open-minded beforehand, too.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 23
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/24/2007 11:31:21 AM

Secondly, I find it very annoying that 80% of the threads in this forum are responded to with, "Do a thread search!!111" The turnover rate here is such that new opinions are often wanted. People like to engage in active conversation rather than read an old one.

If this is such a problem, I vote that the admins set up a monthly forum wipe... at least in the major sections. This helped one of the geek forums I'm on get rid of a lot of unwanted elements, and it helped limit the number of trolls who wanted to bring back threads that had been dead since 1993.

I so agree with you, thanks for saying what I was thinking.

Thanks to you both ~ much more tact than I could come up with last night.

~OP~ I had forgotten this until now, way back in the day, I was staying with an Aunt in a large, supposedly "evolved" city. Her daughter is bi-racial. I can remember holding the baby in the grocery store, and I got the most assinine stares. At the time, she could have easily been my baby ~ so I thought someone was judging me, and my age (being 18, looking younger.) It didn't sink in for about a year that it was the color of the baby, not my age. Wow ~ that took me back. So, on that note ~ I can almost feel where you are coming from.

Later in my life I married a Portugeuse man, which in turn, leaves my last name sounding Hispanic. Oddly ~ to this day, I get "Oh, are you Hispanic?" D'oh...sure, this overly white skin is Hispanic, I just pull a Michael Jackson once a month and get an all-over bleaching. :33: Such silliness now that I've had time to reflect. My overall point, as others have stated, people will (apparently) always judge. I find no value in it, but I can see your concern today ~ which wasn't quite so apparent to me yesterday. I think it speaks volumes that you are aware enough to place it "out here" for public discussion. I'll bet you have no trouble meeting someone who will love you, and all that comes with you. Best of luck. :80:
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 29
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Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/26/2007 12:17:11 AM
To judge whether or not to date someone based on the mixed race of your child is just WRONG!!! I can't believe that people can actually be that shallow and cruel...that just makes me sick...Although I have not dated/married outside my is not because I am against it or am prejudice...I just have not met anyone who's personality has attracked me...and the ones that I have met that have attracked me wasn't looking for a relationship...I am sorry that you and your precious daughter have to go through this...I pray that it only makes her a stronger and more determined person in lifes hurdles!!! I pray that you keep your strength to sooth her pain that is caused by ignorance!!! Good luck to you...and I wish you and your little one the best in life!!!

Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 30
view profile
Lets Get Racial!
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:35:58 AM
my adopted teens are african american and peruvian. i'm russian american and my ex husband was straight from scotland. all three kids were very tiny when we met at ages 10, 12 and 13 and, at that time, height was more of a concern to all of us than race. now my son is taller than i am at 5'10", but my girls are still short. my tallest girl at 5'2" is a foot and a half shorter than my ex! but what is even more interesting is the pictures of their birth grandparents--one british (white lady) as the kids describe her, one african american, one spanish and one indigenous. if we went further to the great grandparents it might get even more interesting!

when i was growing up, you were not JUST white and you also got the "what are you " question as is now being asked of people of color. back then you were italian, russian, polish, irish, english, etc. and if you were dark skinned you were probably dominican, haitian, jamaican or african american descendent from the south (which meant your ancestors survived slavery). over time more and more cubans, mexicans and various south americans joined in, as well as people from india and the middle east. each brought more than a color, but a culture and a country of origin.

my kids pass from african american to phillipine to indian or pakistani to mexican. it depends upon who they are with and what they are wearing and what hairstyles they are into. my irish and italian friends had a blonde child, but to the irish grandparents the child was a "dark blonde" and "not really irish looking"! so go figure....not a whole lot of people look like both their parents. . . and hopefully soon enough, the color issue will be bypassed and it will go back to describing one's history, when asked "what are you". i personally have heard many an anti-jewish joke when people thought i was italian. my mom had the same experiences in the women's army corps.

as to the african american child and the "white" father, more and more african american organizations and churches are getting a cry for help from those of us in bi/tri-racial families. the reality is that you may accept someone into your "culture" but that is different than also stepping into his/her culture. bi-racial children, irrespective of how adults feel, often have a need to belong to "the group". if you do not live in a mixed racial and cultural center, your "child" might develop a need for more similarity in his /her teen years. that is something that is discussed openly in my family and particularly since the "liberal" area we are now living in is way more "white" than where we first started raising our children.

so my point is that the issues go way beyond who you are going to date and who will date you. but if that is an issue, i'd drop the man real quick!
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