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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > What is your take on mail order brides?      Home login  
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 Savanna
Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 2
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What is your take on mail order brides?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I want a mail order husband. Would make life so much simpler.

Oh, and this is a joke right?
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 3
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:04:39 AM
... you need a helluva big letter box in yer front door .........



There are guys that cant find a woman locally , but its really only an extention of what we are doing on here isnt it ?? I am sure that if we all could find a partner locally we would not be on POF or any other site .
Not sure that the mail order thing works at all unless you are desperate for ANYBODY .. a lot of the women available on mail order will accept who they are offered to a large extent ( or who they are told to accept ... the question of co-ercion for money comes up here ... ) ..... I would not imagine that they have a high success rate .......
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 4
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:06:58 AM

I want a mail order husband


Savanna ........ You mean a ' male ' order husband ..........
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 5
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:07:00 AM
well, what i have gathered is this.

The women from foreign countries generally are not as, um, fiercely independant as american women. they don't care as much about equality. so the guys figure they will have a nice little housewife taking care of the home. kind of like a traditional 50s type setting. which probably looks pretty good to a lot of guys used to loud nagging girlfriends.

however a lot of those women will take off as soon as they gain a permanent visa, then the guy is left with nothing, and big hole in his checking account.

BUT, a lot of them succeed. some of those women really do want to just have a better life. the men in their country are cold and controlling, and their country makes it hard to earn a good living. they are happy to be a wife and maybe raise kids here. and it takes a certain type of guy to make it work. he may prefer a wife who is basically submissive and lets him make the decisions, etc. but deep down he appreciates her and treats her like a queen. pretty much the 'leave it to beaver' type family. it worked well in those days i guess.

also, remember america is the country of obesity. most of those mail order brides are downright gorgeous. they HAVE to be, to get a guy to pay for them without meeting them.

Bam Margera bought a russian bride for one of his friends, did it all on his mtv show. well those guys are all jackass brethren so the girl became depressed and went back home. the boys grew up a little, and Bam found a picture of the girl in his friends wallet. so he arranged to go find her in estonia, it was a great episode. she was so happy to see him, i was a little moved even tho its just a show.

she came back with him and they are trying again. man shes good looking. i think she threw something on Don Vito, cuz he's such an ass.
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 8
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:43:56 AM
They don't actually come right out and call them "mail order" any longer, as there are zillions of these websites everywhere now. What a lot of American men (and women) do not count on is the assimilation/acculturization of foreigners once they've arrived and lived here for awhile. Unless money is no object, the acquisition of it and the "freedom" associated with it overtakes the "sweet little woman I married" and they become the "this is not the person I married" type.
The foreign women, though inherently beautiful, fruitful, and bearing all desirable
qualities that the majority of we American gals possess as well, ultimately do become:
American! ...and that turns off the man because he doesn't have the sweetie waiting on him and the children hand and foot like he expected, eventually. The trappings of American society are anything but free, and unless there is an endless surplus of money (highly doubtful, anymore), again, both adult parties must work, work, work, to
possess what we all must have to be "happy" and "successful".
My advice to any American seeking a foreign or domestic mate is to be able to afford a trustworthy maid and nanny, as well, or be prepared to take on some overtime to afford one, because the last thing anyone wants to become is an indentured servant to anyone else. I definitely advocate viable employment for both...and enjoyable employment, as well, because everybody needs out of those four walls daily, lest it become Alcatraz. Love, Titus
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 9
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:50:07 AM
Another thing I forgot to mention: do some research, ladies, on foreign men. It's been my discovery that many men from any "old country" are extremely patriarchal and believe that "men rule the roost". (This can be interpreted as: extremely controlling, drunkards, abusive, and philanderers, because: I AM THE MAN!!! Damn it! slap, slap, etc....)
Then again, some revere women, as they should be, and become really good spouse material. It works both ways, ahem, ahem, if you give respect, you'll get it...and we'll all live happily ever after. Love, Titus
 mmanofsteel
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 11
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 5:02:39 AM
You gotta be just as shallow as the women you're ordering.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 15
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/27/2007 11:02:10 AM
Most people commenting on 'Mail Order' Brides are only repeating popular urban myths.

At one time I corresponded with quite a few different foreign ladies - including telephone calls. It was a delightful experience. From this experience, I feel certain that if a man practices 'due diligence' things will work out just fine.

Myth - only domineering - controlling men wish to have a docile controllable foreign bride.

Baloney - most men who thought about getting a foreign bride or have done it - are just like most other men - some are great guys - some average - some are bad guys.

Many thousands of Mail Order Bride marriages take place each year in the U.S. and the failure rate is no higher than USA second marriage divorce rates.

Many women from the former Soviet States are in fact of a mindset more like women of the 1950's USA, but they are not push overs. Many of these women are educated and expect to work and appreciate the chance to improve their lives.

It is not a slam dunk to make one of these marriages work - but I don't know of any these days that are - regardless of the woman's origins.

Most of the marriage troubles occur when the guy picks a woman that is WAY TOO YOUNG for him, or that the woman / girl just cannot adjust to being away from family and the things she is used to - or she does not nor cannot seem to learn English. And quite frequently the woman cannot get a job commensurate with her education and experience. Many factors of the break up - if it happens - are due to factors beyond the man involved.

I've been told by people who heard that I had once been looking 'overseas' - (the typical response was) "Oh Joe - they will just marry you spend all your money, make you buy them a fancy home, jewelry, etc. -- then a few years later they will divorce you and take your house, car and more money." My response has been - 'Sounds like an American Woman to me..."

What was that funny line going around a few years ago . . . "I'm not going to get married any more - you know possible divorce and all ... - I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house".

Joe
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 19
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/28/2007 10:37:40 AM
Where can I pick up a catalogue? And do they have pictures?


My opinion of a mail order bride is, they are nothing more than a paid long-term prostitute!
Don't knock it! My best friend jokes that she is just a prostitute to her husband, and he dotes on her. Just took her away to Cornwall for the weekend.
And I remember watching a programme on TV called "Hustlers, Pimps and their Johns". It was all about prostitutes in the USA. One woman said that she didn't see anything different between a guy who bought her dinner and then had sex with her and a John, so she figured: why not?
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 21
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/28/2007 2:17:57 PM
How much postage do they charge to ship women ?

Sorry is a joke. But seriously if you have to marry someone you have never meet just to get them into this country you really need to ask yourself why you got that desperate ?
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 28
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:21:16 PM
You're on to something there revelated. Yes indeed - the terms 'mate, partner, lover, seem to lead to providing that moral support and affection. In the USA these terms are often replaced by criticism, nagging and WTF.

Joe
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 29
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:25:25 PM
"It's that the man is insecure and doesn't want to do what it takes to have a real relationship."

No No No - it is most often that he just doesn't want to put up with the BS and B_tching. And looking abroad overcomes the tiresome and repeative choices at home...

Joe
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 30
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:35:17 PM
"... really need to ask yourself why you got that desperate ?"

It is not a matter of desperation - it is just a common sense evaluation of alternative solutions.

It does however take money. If you don't have an extra 20K$ to get all the trip making done - go to visit after meeting on line, maybe a second visit, get the fiancee visa, her trip over here, tons of paper work and lawyers, prenups, ticket for mom or sister to come visit, etc.

Damn - come to think of it - sounds like my marriage to that Arkansas gal.

Joe
 GuitarGuy_
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 34
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/29/2007 12:28:05 AM
Keep the receipt, in case you have to return or exchange.



 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 42
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:01:36 PM

Are there really that many men out there who can't find a good woman locally?


Ummm, 600,000 views on POF per day. I'd say that there are LOTS of men and women who can't find someone locally.

~OT~ I don't want a mail-order hubby. But I would pay top dollar for for a Stepford Spouse. I'd even spring for the extra-chip options so I could change his personalities once in a while. Yep, nothing like a custom, made to order man.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 44
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/29/2007 9:24:36 PM

There is no difference between using a mail order bride and visiting a country with women enamored by America...Good luck with fantasizing otherwise.
In the UK, we call these countries the rest of the world. Even the French are coming in droves.

It was in the paper recently that a 72 year old man was stabbed to death 26 times by his new Thai 23 year old wife after she discovered he was skint! lol
Even Anna Nicole Smith R.I.P. would understand that one.

But I would pay top dollar for for a Stepford Spouse.
Microsoft have announced that they're coming out next year. But Nintendo will beat them to it, as usual.

I'd even spring for the extra-chip options so I could change his personalities once in a while.
You still have to reboot, though. And the penis extension is extra, or so I hear.

Yep, nothing like a custom, made to order man.
We call them rent-boys. Very cheap. Me love you long time.
 gizmosellschickens
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 46
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:55:54 PM
What the traiffs on importing them, and hell I could get a robot to do half those things. I figure mail order birbes from third world countries are not worth it because I rather a have women stand up for herself, and be assertive, independant and not depend on me.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 53
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:12:27 AM
The best and most obvious justification for a man to seriously consider finding a foreign 'Mail Order Bride' is the shrill, overdone, almost anger filled, half truth and off target comments put out by some of the women on this thread . . .

If some American women wanted to find and meet a foreign 'Mail Order Husband - then it would just fine and dandy -- what ever can allow happiness to enter her life is what is correct and true.

For every one controlling - overbearing man who is considering a Mail Order Bride or has already got one -- there are FIVE quite normal men who are considering it or have already married that fine educated, talented loving woman from Russia, Ukraine, Lativa, etc., etc.

A man who is fool enough to not perform the due diligence required in checking out all aspects of future mail order bride will be the same fool who would fail to do it when meeting and marrying a American or Canadian woman he meets in a singles group or on-line.

There are about 6000 Mail Order Bride Marriages in the U.S. every year and have been since the middle '90's. The failure rate is no greater than marriages brought about by Personal Ads and Match Making / Dating sites like POF.

The truth hurts - Read Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and maybe you find a good man. Men seek in a woman - kindness, moral support, acceptance, cooperation, sexual interest, and many similar things. None of these things have anything to do with submission or subservience - just decent loving treatment.

Joe
 misticspear
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 55
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:57:26 AM
the funny part of the topic is this. M.O.B. are not what they seem on the surface i happpend to hear something about it on N.P.R and even now i dont pretend to know the half of it. But this is what gets me. Why call them sex slaves ect. i mean last time i check there were plenty of women here who would date you for money and do all that garbage i mean there is a dating site called sugar daddies common now. For the women that means one less guy that you would have more than likely turn down for the other guys one less competitor in this already seemingly over crowded pool of bachlors. Its one of the few times it is win win for everyoone
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 56
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:28:15 AM
Good people and bad people come from everywhere , online and catalogs make the pool bigger , some characteristics in people can no longer be easily found in this country, people here care too much about certain things that in other countries is not even noticed or just given very little priority or vice versa , cultures are all different , some seem more family oriented others more career and self .

mmm yes there is alot of tension because of hearsay , conjecture etc... people make up stuff as they go. learn about it a little more before burning it down , where do you think you are at ? this is like mail order exactly but much closer or mmm if I write to a woman for months or a year , is she not like a mail order bride ? In a catalog form ? This is out catalog , what the herll is the difference beteen here a woman from canada and a girl from lets say asia or africa for example , everybody who has something negative are saying people from other countries are morally , intellectually and self woth inferior to us , we the people who speak english or some other 1 st world accepted language , I have been there and done that.

My father out of the vietnam war wanted to find himself a wife , he saw too much free love , promiscuity, lack of traditional values and he being ethnically mexican but a 5th generation californian us american , he was shunned a bit more and was not tall , but had a great job and hobbies, had some money ... he turned to a mail order bride my mom, he found a beautiful girl , he was 30 she was 21 with movie star looks and was from an upper middle class family that had some grocery stores . My dad was not beauty challenged , well now he is , old and saggy but my mom still really pretty .

The married and had 8 kids ...MY mom was always in charge of the house and finances , she would tell my dad she was there to lessen his burden and all he had to do was to work and come back home, he later taught her to drive and paid for her college .

we never EVER saw them fight ever ever , always like best of friends and with 8 kids that is hard to hide if they ever had a fight after all these years .

All of us (children ) asked them how they met .... they were both in a catalog and he wrote to her for 56 months before visiting her ,

They did not get married in love , they said that came later after overcommming being friends with attraction.

They adore eachother , when my mom is gone for days visiting family a thousand miles away my dad seems lost and moody , and when he is gon my mom is all worried calling him everyday when is is out camping or something .

I had alot of problems in school being cronically geeky and socially challenged , I was the skinny little runt with thick glasses that got beat up everyday , never got a date in high school , not even after contacts and a sister made make over .

I did what my dad did , I really did not want to do it , it seemed desperate, I was 19 a dateless virgin, I was treated like a leaper by american women ,

So I bought a paper catalog that had women all over the world including usa women, I tried USA women but I guess my napoleon dynomite looks did not impress them , I wrote to a mexican girl that lived close by at the otherside of the border , she was dirt poor , made only 50 bucks a weeks , lived alone and had no living family , she was 18 , yes great candidate for getting usa papers and leaving me poor , yeah that is what you think ? I chose what I wanted and what was good for me in the catalog , I contacted many of them at 20 bucks a pop to the catalog company .

We got married 2 years later , she never moved from mexico, she wanted me to move down there and I did and crossed the border everyday to work , she had me buy cheap dirt land and we built a house , I was a poor janitor at the time , she was a jewel , helped me save money , motivated me to go to college and even helped in several ways so I could get the job I have now , she built my house, by contracting workers , she was the architect for my house down there .

Everyday she would bring junk from a second hand store or garbage and refurbish furniture , she did not spen my money and again we never fought, she was my best friend, my surfing companion , my car show painter and upholsterer, she was my partner, she died 3 years ago in a san diego hospital , I have no regrets .

Her last words was I love you , I will be gone soon , find another to love , you deserve not to be alone.

Yes those women are not hookers as some jealous women state here , they are like you and me .... people who one day want to be happy , with some scammers imbedded , this site also has scammers or are they all perfect.

I do not want to do the foreign woman thing again , I no longer want to be reminded of my departed wife , I want an american girl , so far I date alot but most women I find are unacceptable for a relationship, anger issues , personality issues because of being spoiled , materialism to the extreme, some want to make a family until past 30 .
SOme are so used to having sex with so many men and with no concience that it worries me about fidelity , I am very faithful , single and no sex married and sex .

Another part , no one is in charge of teaching about running a house and rearing children, I see a big mess in usa peoples houses very often , offensive children and alot of fighting, it is about how the parents men and women are educated about family , they no longer are .

My brother married a nice girl , regular american girl , he is a great guy , warm hearted and easy going , he is stressing out , he cooks cleans , takes care of the 2 children and goes to work at night because his wife says that she is not his slave, not the beaver cleaver woman but independent and liberated , he cooks dinner every night , works at night, she has been unfaithful and he forgives , he is a though handsome strong guy , he complains about his wife never being there for home and family , always working her career, he told me he with stick to her until death but he is dying inside , he wished he would have gotten a wife like mine , easygoing , not emotionally bruttal like his wife .

Not saying that mail order is all nice and perfect but it gives more choices, no one really of quiality looks for a slave partner , we want to look for a best friend and lover not one that seeks to control and stomp us down becuse of an agressive power struggle like first world americans have been taught, my wife bossed me around for the most part but she was so pleasant , sweet and caring , I could never say no to her . <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Man_with_a_Dream
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 57
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:34:51 AM
OK this is how it works, you find someone you want to meet and you write one another VIA a interpreter, after awhile you have to fly over to meet them, after meeting them several times you have to contact the US consulate and the Russian consulate, as well the Lady that wants to come back here has to get a Physical and a clean bill of health,

You have to pay for all of this Once this is done you have to wait for the US to allow her a Marriage Visa then she can come over to the US So in reality there is no SO called mail order they come here you marry them.

So much paper work and so much money to be shelled out.

There was a Special on TV about this and they explained it all I watched because i was curious as to the whole thing, (Not that i could ever afford this because i am a poor man).

The majority of the Russian women they interviewed was if you was a Russian man and u got married or just got her pregnant and he left there is no child support...

it is all on the woman over there there is no child support court...

So women over there want Guys here they are happy for the most part because the guy takes care of them they don't care if they have to stay home, and he makes the money because they are taken care of along with there kids ... and they don't really worry about looks,

why would they if you have enough money to Fly to Russia 10 times or more to get her here you got enough money to support her... Also they interviewed the men that went there as well they said going there was like going to a bar full of women and u was the only guy so in part he said he could get laid 4-5 times a day just dating the women that wanted a guy here.......

No i am not saying that there is not some gold diggers it happens everywhere and the whole idea mail order is almost like this site, I live in the US if i meet someone in Canada and the cost of meeting them and working to get them a marriage Visa is the same there is always rules and so the saga continues People making fun of someone doing this but in reality we are sorta doing the same thing at times.......

sddude Sorry to Hear about you wife and hope you Find someone like her again<B/>

Jim
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 58
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:40:09 AM
From what I have observed, guys who lack social skills and cannot get along with women of their own culture seem to resort to mail order brides. Women who feel trapped in their own countries, use these marriages as a way to escape.

Case in point: there is a guy who I have known for over 30 years (a friend of friends), alcoholic, lived off and on with his parents, and could not hold a job. The good thing that you can say about him is that he has skiied a lot during the winter and has surfed all over the world. We used to crack jokes that his middle age crisis would be settling down and getting married.

In his mid-forties, he married a twenty-five year old Filipina (who is bright and fun) and then worked on bringing her over here. They are still trying to bring her son from a previous relationship over here. In the meantime, she has been known to take off for days at a time, he managed to get them evicted from an apartment, got arrested for drunk driving, but...she has her green card. My friends are always saying that she really earned it.
 Man_with_a_Dream
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 61
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What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:02:59 AM
THERE is no Difference in mail order bride and dating site you pay no matter what this site is free but if someone lives 200 miles from you,,, it still means you are paying to go see them if you get married it still means you have to pay to get them moved , it still means if they have kids that you provide for the kids as well,, so Mail order is not different just more expensive.... so lets look at it like this say you was on Vacation in France and you meet someone and fell in love and wanted to get married you are still going to have to go through the same as a mail order bride.... now on here you meet someone you talk via e-mail then on the phone Basiclly this is mail order because you did not meet in person at 1st you meet on the internet..... you call it internet dating but it is really mail order


Jim
 dimmu borgir
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 62
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:44:37 AM
Dude that post was awesome!!!!! brought tears to my eyes and gave me a new perspective! im sorry for your wife! and that sux about your brother!
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 63
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:51:12 AM
Still it seems that some of the responses that women have given , still do not understand or close their eyes and ears not to understand , dating is much harder for guys beleive it or not , from trying to date plain janes or pretty hotties , a guy goes to a bar , women are like 1 for each guy and they have a better pick for a guy, sometimes I have left a bar without even being able to talk to a girl , the women want really good looking guys becuase the ratio makes it good for them , here on this site , I probably would not believe a guy who can say he gets one message a week for a year from a woman , women here also are the same as the ones in a bar , 5 guys for each girl and waaaaay more mails that guys do , women RARELY initiate contact or for me never get initiated , RARELY get responses to my many mails to them , to most in my area.

Ok and women here are wondering why guys look to other countries , why7 complian if you do not persue or initiate to get guys , why even complain if a guy goes elsewhere for beter luck ? Do you care that guys want to be happy or are you in an anti happy compain ? Why piss on the parade , if women here are sooo perfect why does divorse exist in a high rate ? All men's fault , we are all horrible idiots and are the cause of divorce ? We bad guys and good guys , just want to be happy , I have gotten only 2 mails in 2 years , how many of you women have gotten mails at that low rate , even the sex ones count , guys would like to get sex offers too .

Okay how can american women fix it so guys will not look elsewhere ? But you claim we are losers, bad men looking for slaves , why do you care anyhow? Afraid that the guy you like but never contact will go and look for that young nice respectful family oriented 25 year old versus an american women that are very difficult to contact and do not initiate anything because of competition ?

I have no luck on the net , I have pretty good luck in the real world but women in this country for the most part are not really family oriented no matter how much you can state that you take care of family and home , duh yeah , when you have kids and divorced a guy , that is what you HAVE to do , guys like me just want a woman who would like to do that ... be family oriented and brought up like that , I am family oriented , I do the house work and even babysit for some female friends that date other guys because they are taller and better looking than I .... so I look outside also like some other gents around here ,

If I am 40 one day and still single , I would not think twice in marrying a woman of any age as long as she loves me and wants a family and it would probably be a woman from another country because that kind of woman is getting rare in this country, unless she already has kids and needs help .
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