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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do Women decide for themselfs??      Home login  
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 2
Do Women decide for themselfs??Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Personally, I'm not letting anyone make a decision as important as a partner for me. After all I'm looking for someone for ME, not THEM.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 7
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Do Women decide for themselfs??
Posted: 5/28/2007 9:11:44 PM
Most people listen to their hearts and their heads when making decisions about those with whom they choose to have relationships. Because I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt too much, I will ask friends what they think of someone or certain behaviors. It is too easy sometimes to focus on someone's good qualities and ignore the bad. Issues that should be glaringly obvious are masked by the euphoria of the honeymoon stage.

The only time I have ever had someone tell me something I didn't already know, that I would likely not be intellectually challenged enough by the man that I planned to marry, that he was not the type of individual to support my growth and grow with me, I ignored it, and it was very astute advice.

If someone is the type of person to be swayed by others, I would not wish to be with him but there are people that I trust whose opinions are not self-serving but based on logic and concern for me. I will consider what they say but ultimately, choices rest with the individual.

All of the romantic things you described in the original post are nice but most women are concerned about practical matters and behaviors that point to the individual's character. Romantic dinners and rose petals would be wonderful but I would appreciate a man taking the kids off my hands for a couple of hours more. What one person sees as romantic and caring may not necessarily mesh with the other person's image or what they need. The problem may not lie with the people 'influencing' someone but the behavior of the person being evaluated.
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 11
Do Women decide for themselfs??
Posted: 5/29/2007 4:06:46 AM
Absolutely no offense intended Ms Sweetypi but this sounds just a bit contradictory to me:

I wouldn't say I would let someone else decide for me and I would never go around asking my family/friends if they liked a guy I was seeing. However, sometimes I think outsiders can see issues that you may not see in the beginning during the honeymoon period, so if my friends and family were concerned about the guy and were genuinely worried, it would make me think twice.

Maybe this is because I don't always focus on the little things, but I have had situations before where family has pointed out issues, and only after hearing them tell me was I able to see them for myself.

This has the potential for seeing things that really don't exist. All too often these "friends" and family will express opinions that are only their feelings or impressions and may not reflect your own. If we allow such "observations" to affect our own choices we probably exclude someone that would really suit us; things like this become self-fulfilling prophesies. I myself do not subscribe that "friends" and family always have someones best interest in mind or heart or that they know more than I do about my choices in dating partners. I recall one very specific when more than a few advised me against a certain woman who I later married for all the right reasons. Had I listened to their petty jealous, small minded and totally incorrect "observations" I'd have missed that entire relationship with her.

Perhaps I'm too independant and comfortable with making my own choices entirely on my own? So far it's not worked against me so for now I'll stick with that process.
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 13
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Do Women decide for themselfs??
Posted: 5/29/2007 7:47:47 AM
hmmm. .. i do decide for myself.
but, let me introduce the other side of the coin.

It's the bf who can not make a choice without ..
.. you guessed it.
momma's approval.
If you are old enough to have your own home, your own car, etc. Please, do learn how to make a choice without mother dearest to do it for you.

Hint: Women will only tolerate another "woman" medling with their man for so long.
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