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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DMF72
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 1
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
How long should a couple be going out before a guy stops paying ALL THE TIME. I thought a lot of woman these days are fierce about their independance? So why is it that when the cheque comes, they're not offering to pay?

I'm just curious and I'd like to hear both sides on this issue.
 WeekendHuntressKatelynn21
Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 2
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 7:06:15 PM
Take me on a nice long hike.. bring a picnic basket..
and a blanket to lay on.
Lets have fun!
Money isn't necassary to have fun!
And if a woman pays sometimes too... it shows independance..
Very + on the Character of a woman.
although Chivalry is nice too
 redemption25
Joined: 12/22/2004
Msg: 3
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 7:08:15 PM
No not all the time, nobody is made of money lol. It should be treated fairly among the two of you's. split or pay one here and pay one there, vice versa.
 dunkawhore
Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 4
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 7:11:38 PM
never pay,screw that ,,,,50-50 all the way,why should you have to pay???if she expects it get rid of her.if she expects it thats a sing she co-dependent.the only time i would pay is if i was takin her out on a special occasion
 WeekendHuntressKatelynn21
Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 5
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 8:33:59 PM
I like the way you think
real brunette.
I do the same thing.
 BarrieChick
Joined: 7/14/2004
Msg: 6
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 8:49:52 PM
I truly believe that it should be 50-50. I am a very independant person....but I also like to be treated once in a while. BUT..I also love to treat. Especially when it's something that is unexpected.
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 7
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 9:08:52 PM
Depends on the guy.
I prefer to pay my own way, or pay for every other date.
BUT, if my independance imposes on a guy's comfort level, I'll find some other way to "make it up" if it's cooking a meal for him on "my turn" or doing something special. But no, having him pay for everything would make me feel like a parasite.

When you are in an established relationship, it becomes LESS of an issue IMO.....My b/f and I don't see at as an issue. Sometimes I pick up the ticket, sometimes he does. There are times when we are all at a lower financial ebb than others. If I'm low on cash he picks up the tab, if he's low on cash, I get it. More often than not, whoever suggests an outing pays.
 Gentlmanlooking4alady
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 8
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 9:16:18 PM
Years ago, I had one woman who was willing to pay, but she would only pay 35-40% since she said that women always make 35-40% less than men. She didn't last long for obvious reasons.

I'll pay the first date, but I truly have much more respect for a woman who offers to pay some. Sometimes it'll help me make my decision on whether or not there is a second date. There are many women out there who don't get that equal rights doesn't mean "only when they want them".

Oh, on the Chivalry thing, go read "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight", and tell me you still want true chivalry. Methinks the concept most have in mind is Victorian Romanticized version, not true chivalric code. Most women aren't too keen on true chivalric code.
 berrysweetncgurl
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 9
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/1/2005 9:43:24 PM
NO....lol sometimes i like to surprise my man by picking up the tabs or taking him out to a great new place that I think he will like
 kloey
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 11
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/4/2005 1:37:46 AM
It depends on the situation. I've offended guys by offering to pay. I've also surprised a few guys by offering to pay. If a guy gets offended, I'll usually find some other way to make up for it. I'll cook dinner and take it to his place of business for his lunch meal. I'll bake his favorite pie. You know, just silly little things. I suggest dates that don't cost anything, such as taking a walk down to the springs for a spot of swimming. But, to be honest, even as old-fashioned as I am, I don't see anything wrong with helping out financially, considering I'm enjoying myself, too. The pleasure of my company is great, but even so, some guys appreciate that I don't expect 'em to pay for everything.
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 12
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/17/2005 8:58:09 AM
very well put, Deagle....I feel exactly the same :)
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 13
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/17/2005 9:27:28 AM
^^^he is on the good "can" days
Brawny, if I were dating a man who it made uncomfortable, I would even the scales in other ways....making him a homecooked meal.......gifts, or some act of service that "equaled" his financial expenditure (though I'm not talking about dollar for dollar one upmanship)...just showing my appreciation in other ways to allow him his pride, if it's a matter of that.
It's all about compromise, right? I'd prefer to pay my own way, but not at the expense of someone else's comfort level.
 mainegrad
Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 14
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 5/17/2005 1:27:19 PM
If I ask him out, I expect to pay. If he makes the plans, he pays.
 krookie
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 15
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:05:29 PM
If I ask someone out for the first time, I am willing to pay. If I am asked out, I expect the same in return, however, I ALWAYS offer to split the cost or at least pay something. If a woman in this day and age can't even offer to pony up something, then she loses a lot in my eyes. It's not about chivalry. It's not about who makes more money. It's about respecting the other person. Just went on a date Saturday that was set up kinda quick by both of us at the last minute. Along with pretty much a non-talker, I got absolutely no offer to help with the bill in any way. Just a lousy evening all around. Live and learn. Anyone have any tips on perhaps a tactful way to bring it up either before hand or at dinner without sounding like a cheapskate?
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:43:46 AM
I am very old fashioned in that respect...the man pays. But it's different when you know someone well..and are lovers. Then it just doesn't matter anymore who pays.
 sexybrunette333
Joined: 10/16/2007
Msg: 17
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/22/2007 2:44:07 PM
No, I have no problems paying my share of the bill. If a woman expects a man to pay for the date all the time, then she could be a golddigger.
 krookie
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 18
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/22/2007 7:53:14 PM
Quite the interesting reactions here recently. I'll try to be tactful and say I just don't understand it. A couple of comments have been to the effect that a man should pay/always spend money on his date/etc... because that is proof that he is able to "take care of his woman"? Or because spending money is the way to "woo a woman"? Is that what was really meant? And that somehow spending money on a date equates to respect? Wow! Way outside my line of thought. Can I ask if that doesn't bring up problems of "expectations" from guys? And another... The statement that women behave like ladies for the simple reason that men are buying them drinks? Hmmm...

As for women who don't offer to help pay being "gold-diggers", I don't really think that's the case, at least most of the time. But I do think this notion that me laying out money 100% of the time is what makes me a man is ridiculous.

Also, doesn't it strike anyone else as interesting that a woman goes out on a date demanding to be shown a good time rather than working at enjoying herself or, heaven forbid, making the evening more enjoyable for everyone involved? Doesn't sound like a place I'd like to be. Obviously we're all out there trying to find someone, but this is one of the major problems I seem to see. People trying way too hard. Demanding instead of offering. Wanting to know right this very moment if the person sitting across from them at Chili's is "THE ONE". And if all the answers aren't correctly given and the checklist completed then it's on to the next vict...person. My gosh people! It's just a date! It's not going to determine the course of civilization for the next 100 years!
Can't you just learn to try and enjoy the moment?
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 19
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/24/2007 10:20:46 AM
~Myth Msgs 82 & 85 - pretty much says it all for me too. Nicely done.
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 20
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/24/2007 2:13:23 PM
Maybe some of you just need to go on less expensive outings? Some of my favorites have been where we'll grab a drink from a drive thru, then head to watch a water fountain at a park - they light it at night, the colors change, the water changes, (kinda like a mini Bellagio...lol) and we can stroll around or sit and watch...talk...kiss...star gaze. Or just go to a restaurant, and share a desert and some coffee, a little footsie under the table.... Neither costs more than $5.oo, and it's pure bliss.
 Bad Aussie Guy
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 21
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/24/2007 3:59:14 PM
Well I never mind paying for a date , But when they start to bring friends which is cool , but that when I say no I,m not paying for the friends too.
 lie to me
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 22
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/24/2007 7:58:10 PM
~myth~......how about we just take the man that doesn't appreciate all of that, and push him off of said cliff, while HE'S wearing the lace nightie???
 espritlover
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 23
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History
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:32:14 PM
The guy should pay all the time, if the lady likes the guy she will find other ways to make him feel good, Cook a meal, tickets to a game, picnic's, Etc....... truth is it takes money to date, that's just how it is.
 krookie
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 24
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:38:16 PM
"Etc....... truth is it takes money to date, that's just how it is."

And woman don't have money?
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 25
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Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:53:33 PM
That comes down to a matter of tradition. If you're like me, traditional, then yes. But, don't be afraid to let the woman offer and actually pay for a few things every now and again - they're doing it to be nice ;)
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?