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Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 1
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I like my revenge served cold, so I wait until things have blown over.

I put fresh raw chicken in the ventilation system, before I left working at an office where I had been sexually harassed and then fired for "non compliance" with the bosses wishes. I came back to pick up my things and when no was paying attention, I pitched the chicken pieces into the heat exchanger, in the dead of winter. I was going to hide it behind the file cabinets, but the closet with the unit was just there and no one was in the hall...

It took about 4 days, to get really bad, but two weeks to actually find the chicken bits. I was informed of this by my co-worker, who applauded my efforts. Since it took a while, my boss never figured it out. Out of sight, out of mind. He thought his son did it before he left for the military.

Now, what have you done?
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 2
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/13/2007 8:56:09 PM
Nothing spectacular comes to mind that I have personally done, (maybe I have blocked them all out of memory), but this story is in keeping with yours and I love it.

The Curtain Rods
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen
refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not
take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
Joined: 8/5/2005
Msg: 3
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/13/2007 11:00:58 PM
Gotta a good giggle outta Mominatrix' story! :)

My family and I were renting a house that was flooded out by a flash flood. We were underinsured for such, and were going to get assistance from FEMA and SEMA, but the landlord decided he would evict us so that HE could get the FEMA funds. (Only one person can....supposed to be the TENANT, whether owned or rented.)

So....when we were leaving, I had this HUGE salmon in the freezer....I mean, a WHOLE salmon! I took it out of it's freezer wrap and shoved it waaaaaay back in a floor vent! We later heard from old neighbors how they bought the damaged house for dirt cheap...the owner could not get rid of the stench! ;)

Another story...long, long ago when a former beau was caught red-handed cheating...we split...and I rubbed that red pepper for his BOXERS! Several weeks passed and we actually were driving somewhere together, but no back together, and all of a sudden he starts sweating profusely and when we arrived at our destination, he said, "You go on in....I gotta get to the bathroom cause my dlck is on FIRE!" After a few minutes, it hit me...OMGOSH!!! He came back out in agony...and said he must have been allergic to his detergent!! Spiteful, I know! ;)
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 4
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/13/2007 11:09:03 PM
I LOVE it!

I"ve never done anything like that, but now will make it my mission.

Evil-doers- beware!
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 5
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/13/2007 11:43:17 PM
Holy Cow batman!!!
I'm glad I have never been evil.
sick and demented was the red peppers..

Right on~!!!
Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 6
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/13/2007 11:50:26 PM
i do not generaly allow myself to get bothered about anything. do not sweat the small stuff- it is all small stuff.
 Paddy O Furniture
Joined: 9/15/2006
Msg: 7
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 12:37:29 AM
My best revenge is to put a smile on my face, walk out the door, never look back and let misery love other company besides me.
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 8
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 1:03:52 AM
I put a deposite down on a vacation rental house and when I called the women to see if she got the check she told me no , but the check had already went through my bank signed and I told her that so she says she will get back to me and doesent so I send her and her husband a email of the photo copy of the check , front and back signed and now she claiming she never got the email or the check. So now Im asking for a refund and she says ok. So if she is climing she never got it then how does she figure she is going to send me my refund. If I dont get a refund in a week Im fileing a complaint with the police.
So in the mean time to get even Im going to put there email addy on the craigs list under sex section and ask for pictures of mens penis to be sent to there addy...giggles
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 9
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 3:30:17 PM
Oh, I am so with you on Craig's list.

When a man sends me a d*ck pic, first, I forward it to all my gay boyfriends to rate and forward to all of their other gay boyfriends and then I post an ad, with the pic... and their email and phone number to Craig's List under "m4m intimate encounters" with something in the ad like "make me your naughty butt boy!" Or perhaps "Coprophiliacs wanted!"

Personal Satisfaction Guaranteed.
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 10
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 3:37:35 PM
This is some wild stuff! I better stay on everyone’s good side.
I haven’t cooked nothing up before, and would probably be too chicken to follow through with it if I so tried. I just try to walk very gradually so not to step on anyone’s toes.
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 11
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 5:32:25 PM
Can't believe I am putting this out here but what the hel! we are getting divorced and he really did deserve it.

While I was pregnant with our child I was high risk and we could not have intercourse without risking the baby's life; he told me I was "broken" and giggled. Well that was just plain azz wrong ok?! I was being deprived too.... not too mention my son's life is worth MORE than gettin his dik wet. Anyways, I listened to this for months even after sitting him down and saying "ya know, that hurts can you please not say that anymore? You had your fun. Enough is enough and thank you" Well THAT just made it worse and I really was nice about it. Well when it came to where we could have intercourse again....oh damn did my mind kick-in with this evil plot during sex. Directly after he had ejaculated I grabbed a hold of his penis with my hand and squeezed hard and rubbed fast I have never seen a man jump so high off his back from a bed screaming in my life! Wicked I know ....he bounced off the corner off the closet and was looking at me with this dazed, horrified, dumbstruck look and I just grinned sweetly and asked him if I was broken now. When he said "No" I told him to never ever tell me I was broken again. He staggered off mumbling how mean and cruel I was....
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 12
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:04:09 PM
You are my hero... And much, much nicer than I am.

If I had told him I was hurt by something he was saying, and he not only continued, but escalated. I would have been broken permanently as far as he was concerned, and filed papers immediately.

If some really needs to harass someone else and hurt their feelings, I don't need them.
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 13
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:23:00 PM
I don't know if this qualifies as a revenge or not, maybe just a well deserved payback.
My ex-husband used to constantly come up behind me and startle or scare me. I repeatedly asked him not to to that, but he did it anyway. It was all about power and control and was not funny. One night I saw an opportunity to get him back.

He went into his bathroom to pee and I hid in his closet with the sliding doors closed. The room was totally dark. Just as he walked nonchalantly past the closet, still zipping his pants, I jumped out with a loud roar and lunged at him. He want into defensive mode and almost decked me, but since I literally scared the living daylights out of him, it was worth it. It took about an hour for his heart rate to return to normal..........
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 14
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:29:17 PM
Next time, use a bat sweety...
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 15
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:31:26 PM
Momi Bobbit. Do NOT cross this lady!
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 16
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:36:11 PM
schemed to superglue someone's but shut. He deserved it though...
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 17
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 6:38:25 PM
Next time, use a bat sweety

There won't BE a next time. I will never put up with repeated treatment like that again, from anyone.

Pete: did you DO it?
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 18
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:20:23 PM
That same said husband (soon to be ex thank the goddess) used to do the same to me Cali and smack me hard on the rump while I was pregnant, knowing full well that it would send me into a violent physical attack of being ill and in bed for days on end. Even after being nice about asking him not to do it (Yes major azzclown and abuser-why I pressed charges eventually and creamed him in a divorce *grins big* ) After I had my son and I recouperated I started slappin him on the azz and it was no little love tap My hand would sting from the effort but it got my point across quite nicely...paybacks a bitzh and I am a bigger one when you disrespect me like that

Good for you Cali...some women just keep putting up with it. I did for too long because I had nobody else; it was too long.
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 19
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 7:54:18 PM

Pete: did you DO it?

Me, personally... um... no.
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 20
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:46:12 PM
I love the way Mominatrix's brain works.
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 21
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 9:58:04 PM
This is a tad it's actually a 'two for one' revenge story....but I'll tell the first part now.....

I was fired from a job as a staff piano player about ten years ago for defending....wait for it....a blind piano player. The other staff players were all in cahoots with each other, with the common denominator being heavy alcohol and drug use. There were always dirty pranks played on the blind guy, whom I took under my wing to train. Politics ensued, which pretty much led me to telling the owner he was making a huge mistake by listening to the wrong people, and that sooner or later, the truth was going to come out as to what was really going on. I was deemed the problem after a few lies had been told. I was dismissed. The rest of the bar staff was not happy about the decision, and I later learned they actually took the time to write some letters to the corporate headquarters about the decision.

A couple of weeks after my parting, I decided to go into the club to see a few people and thank them. The room had about three hundred people in it at the time.

While saying some goodbyes, as I had another gig lined up, the bartenders started pouring a few rounds for me and my then wife.

I then told the bartenders to pour a couple of extra shots for the two piano players on the stage. (Grand Marnier was the drink of choice with the staff......never sipped....just SHOT...) I then took the shots up to the stage and laid one in front of each of them as they sat at their respective pianos. One of the guys on the stage had been the main culprit in the whole lying scheme.....(he would, a couple of years later, loose his life to driving while drunk......maybe I didn't need to take my revenge out in the first place....) As I laid the drink down in front of him, I looked at him with a 'no hard feelings' type of smile....he slightly smiled back.

After they completed their song.....the piano players both raised their glasses to do a house 'toast'. They told a joke, and then, in front of three hundred people, dunked back their shots.

Once finished, they commenced to start playing music again. I then looked at the bartender and asked for a napkin and a pen, and wrote down a few words on the napkin. The bartenders looked on and giggled as I folded the napkin, said 'watch this', and walked back up to the stage to put the folded napkin on the piano in front of the certain piano player.

When he finished his song, he reached for the napkin....opened it up to read...."How does my urine taste?".........

Upon reading it, he looked up to the bar to see me standing there with a cigarette in my hand, blowing smoke, raised eyebrows, and a slight little shit eating grin on my face........ The look on his face was rather priceless.....particularly in front of three hundred people. The bartenders began to applaud.

The funnier part is.....I actually had to answer to future employers CLEAR ACROSS the country for a couple of years as to whether or not I actually did what was rumored to have happened. It's a small circle in the genre I was in. It was ironic how a certain person had told everybody he could think of that I actually DID pee in his drink, never knowing the real truth. And while it would seem that my own prank got the better of me....I was fortunate enough to have a far better reputation with my work ethic than any rumor could ruin.... Once asked the question, I usually responded with....." heard that, huh?? Now...would you like to hear the truth?". After telling the story, it was pretty much determined not to screw with me.....but to always request a bottled beer non the less, if I was buying a drink for never can be TOO sure now can you??? And because I knew what was good for me, I drank bottled beer too.....LOL
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 22
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/14/2007 10:24:32 PM
Great story, Piano Man. Thanks for sharing it....
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 23
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What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:56:04 AM
I was employed at a major brand named drug store at the time. A new manager had just come to our store to take over. He was such a jerk. We nick named him Ivan the terrible because his name was Ivan. At this time managers recieved bonuses for turing in employees caught stealing. This Manager had the highest bonus known throught the company. It turns out he was setting people up to get fired for theft. I was a highly paid person and his bonus would have been very high ( if he was sucessful ). He wasn't! He tried to security tag something that I was going to purchase. I decided not to purchase the item at that time and set it aside. Well that night he checked the computer logs to see if I had purchased it. The next morning I came into work I knew something wasn't right. ( my spider senses were tingling ) Right after I clocked in security was there and pulled me into the back room. They questioned me about where the item was, why didn't I buy it ect. So I showed them where it was. It was in plain sight yet the manager couldn't find it. So the security team said "ok you can go back to work now". I told them "no I'm not I am going home for the rest of the day and you are paying me for the whole day". They said "why?". I told them " I have a heart condition you scared me and now I don't feel well. If you don't do this I will have the labor board and union so far up your butt"! So I went home with a $hit grin on my face. But wait it gets better! We had an emergency exit hallway that was blocked with shopping carts xmas gift wrap, just all sorts of crap in general and to top it off the alarm on the doorway was broken. I called the local fire department and made an anonymous phone call. I told them how we had asked the manager to clean up the mess but he refused. They were hesitant to believe me untill I told them I was an employee. Two days later on my day off the fire dept. showed up and did a surprise investigation. They found all the problems I told them about. The manager had to clean the problems himself, no delegating and the store was fined big time. Our CFO had to come down and find out what was happening and why the fine was so huge. After that I took a vacation and transferred stores! No one was the wiser, although a couple of close friends who worked at another store found out what happened and asked me if I did it? Of course I denied it untill the heat was off! Don't piss me off!!!! I do have other revenge stories but this is one of my favorites!!!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 24
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:31:45 AM
I love this thread and this has dredged up a long forgotten memory. These days, if someone pisses me off, I wish them well and then wait for karma to take over. As one who receives karma for looking cross eyed, I find that this is the best way to handle things.

However, there was a time....back in my younger days when I did not see things this way. I debated with myself on whether or not to post this, but it seems to be "pablum" and childish compared to some of the other stories on here, but at the time, it made me feel better. This is long.

Several years ago...long ago and far away... long before cellphones that had free nationwide minutes and the internet, I had a torrid long distance romance with a man who lived in the mid west. We had met when I visited one of my sisters and he was an aquaintance of her's.

For almost a year, we made Hallmark and the phone company richer and flew to different places whenever there was an airfare war. At one point, he started to encourage me to relocate to his area. He also told me that my sister was encouraging the move as well. While I debated back and forth with myself and lost sleep over this major decision, I found out from my sister (who was unaware of the fact that we were getting serious) that he was not making the sacrifices that I was (ie. other women). Also, she said that he would ask her if she would work on me about moving there. She basically told him that she would when and if he had something to show me.

After finding out these fun facts I ended the relationship and was angry for a long time. The place where we met was an island in the Great Lakes, and it was his favorite place. During boating season, he spent as much time there as possible and did most of his womanizing. To paraphrase, one of my coworkers at the time was from that state, and a friend of her's owned a cottage on the island and she was making a trip there.

I found this greeting card that had pictures of male genitalia piled on top of each other and inside, it said "You men are all alike". I had a friend address it, sign "Guess who", gave it to my friend, who then mailed it from the island. At the time, I was too chicken to have a CA postmark and from there it could have been anyone.

I told my sister about what I had done and she told me that I was evil but he deserved it. One night after that, my sister saw him and he asked about me and then looked sad and said that it was a shame that I lived so far. He then proceeded to send me birthday (which was too intimate for the situation) and Christmas cards, and then got married in the beginning of January. From what I have heard, she will not let him go to the island unaccompanied, they aren't that happy, and best of all...I'm not freezing my butt off in the winter and stuck with a liar and have grown up since.
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 25
What is the best revenge scheme you have ever cooked up?
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:15:45 PM
I met a woman on this site on jan25 this year.
We agreed during our first ever conversation that we were both looking for a 'friend with benefits' with intimacy and affection of course (like friends have) and nothing too serious as she had just separated from her husband after 17 years and I hadn't been in a relationship for many years and wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with attaching my feelings to another person. We agreed, talked long into the night, well I talked and she listened happily to my descriptions of everything we would be doing together and we met the next day and... pretty much did them.
She was open about the fact that she had been very promiscuous with other guys since her separation and I accepted that, but she didn't tell anymore than that and implied she was over that behaviour.
I have never had a 'casual sexual relationship' before so I didn't know how often we should talk or meet up. I left it to her to call me. The next day I received a txt, then I replied and then I called her and then the next day she called me and then the next... you can see where I'm going with this.
Over the next few months I stayed at her house while her kids were there. I helped in the garden, cooked them a meal, we talked for hours every night and when we met up we had some really romantic nights, one in particular during that summer when the thunderstorm roared outside while the cooling wind blew through the house and and the candles and incense burned and the music played... that was great.
I had been jealous because I knew that she was seeing other guys and her profile was always still up on plentyoffish and she was onlnie checking it every day but I could deal with it, sure I didn't like it but I put up with it, even the funny looking 'bruises' she appeared with.
I deserved everything I got, right?
I started to think about her every day and although we were only supposed to be casual sex friends I realised that we had become more.
After three months things started to change, just as I fell ill, oddly, (I think she thought people being sick was boring to her), and one day I was overcome by this sense that something bad was going to happen and that she had had enough of me. During our call that night I expected to get dumped but all was as normal so I let the feeling pass. Over the next few days I thought, "I think I've fallen in love with her. I will tell her and see what happens." so I planned to do that.
But before I could we had a little break for about a week from seeing each other due to some situation in her life and i couldn't call her till she said it was ok and during that week it I received the carefully composed txt message that said she 'didn't have time in her life for me and bye'. I was stunned and thought I'd wait to see if she called me.
A week later, nothing. By now I was hurt, angry, depressed, jealous- all the usuals and one Sunday morning I woke up and checked plentyoffish and saw she'd been online checking her ad and suddenly thought right, let's see what's going on here cause this is a gyp.
I invented Daimo69. He's blonde, 32, 6 foot 2, athletic, loves her team, lives nearby and is sending her a message.
Three minutes later...
She's replied and wants to chat right now on msn. Daimo69 hasn't got msn so they'll chat using plentyoff's email and to speed things up he'll ask 10 questions to start with: Does she like sex? Does she like young hot studs? Does she want to meet this afternoon? (After all he lives nearby!) All answered in the affirmative in glowing terms except for that afternoon's meeting (I must give her credit, she had a cold and told him it 'wasn't a good look for a first meeting') but still the excuse for dumping me was looking a bit thin at this point.
Daimo69's response to her eager reply,
"Actually this is me (real name held back for legal reasons)
I just wanted to make sure you were a liar
and that you lied to me
I hope someone
tricks you into caring
and then hurts you one day."
Revenge? Maybe, but you have to know don't you? When you care and someone just drops you like a poo at a fart factory and goes on their merry way, you need closure. But that wasn't it.
Within two weeks, I started talking to her again as 'friends'. I felt like she was keeping me on the same emotional level as we had had but without any option to express that affection and I knew it was never going to grow into what I wanted, that is to love her, even if she still saw other guys, I'm not that immature. It's not wrong to want to show affection physically to the person you love is it? There was still a nagging pain because she never really explained why she'd dropped me and it became obvious to me (I'm psychic) that she was happily banging someone else. I felt it in my soul. I admitted to her I loved her and that I'd been planning to tell her. Her reply was "You depress people". That was callous.
So, I got into her email account (password change secret question was a cinch) and read every single email in there and used her pass to look at every single dating site she was on and read everything on her accounts.
One one dating site I noticed a 'woman looking for women' in her 'friends' list, so, as would be fittingly logical, (since men are truly nothing to her emotionally), she is beginning to think about becoming bi and then eventually a full blown lesbian.
The married traveling salesman guy she'd been giving it to was anally obsessed with her, sent her porn clips and described her 'lovingly' as "my little whore in the bedroom" to which, upon reading, she twittered with excitement and encouraged him even more to use her as a sex toy. There were other messages I found there too from other guys.
Sadly, I concluded that she fitted the dictionary definition of a 'harlot' or what we call in Australia, 'a mole'.
Closure was becoming mine.
I am not proud to say but I learned something about myself reading those messages and that was, I am evil.
I let rip at her with the insulting txt messages and after a few hours, she guessed what I'd done.
Her sad and lonely, not yet ex husband ,who's still in love with her, would sell the house from under her and/or would nearly certainly kill her if he knew the content of even one of those messages. To this day she has no idea if I made a copy of her account and burned it to disc and/or whether I will one day send it to hubby. Who knows, it might happen. I feel the revenge cycle is not yet complete. These may have only been pre-emptive strikes. I'll see how I feel day to day. I am extremely cunning when injured.
She wasn't too pleased I'd been into her account.
I hope she likes to know how it feels to have power taken back and that she learns a lesson about using men as playthings and hurting a man who loves you.
My broken heart still hearts. It always will. For anyone reading who is nursing one, it never goes away, you just get more used to the pain being there over time and it becomes like you can't feel it as much. I really am a horrible for doing that to her.
But to be fair, I did txt her her new password.
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