Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Men over 30, unmarried no children      Home login  
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
Men over 30, unmarried no childrenPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

What do women think of the above kind of man. Does it show there is something right or wrong with him if he hasnt been married and never had children? I come from the old school of thinking career goals come first then family and children after. Any good thoughts out there on the subject?

That's not old fashioned - it's more a new school way of thinking...years ago people got married and had kids younger. Now people realize it's not the end of the world to live a little first. I think it's a smart move - 30 is old enough to have your life together, and young enough to still get married and start a family IF that's what you want. Of course you don't ever have to do that if you don't want to, but if you do you still have more than enough time to do it.
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 15
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:34:30 PM
Here's another figment!

I get called on it once in a while for being a bachelor and why I haven't "settled" down.

But I have settled down, just not with anyone. At least for now.....
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 17
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:47:17 PM
it might be better if they realize they would or might not make a good husband or father than the jerks who get married and/or father several children before they are 18, then dont take care of any of the offspring &/or wife, either..
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 21
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/18/2007 8:05:28 PM
Yes if a man is over 30 an unmarried I don't see anything wrong with it. He may have more pontential. It may mean he does not want to have children when he is not in love or married and that maybe he is not married yet becuase he is focusing on his career. I don't know if its just because I'm older but I'm not afraid of a man in his thirties who is single. I would rather date him then a guy with kids or a divorcee. Plus older men are hot.
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 33
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:08:11 AM
They could be the answer to someones prayers or a high maintenance PIA.
Same as any other human being.
NOTICE that I am in no way being gender biased here btw.

Now if you choose to date outside your species, that's your fault.
You take what you get and you don't throw a fit.
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 34
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 6:24:41 AM
I'm over fifty, and have never been married, and have no children. You have no idea of how many times I've been interogated by various women, and grilled by relatives. I went on active duty as soon as I got my degree, and I got the worst asignment they could offer. After I got off of active duty I traveled extensively, owned a business, traveleed somemore, and lived in various locations. And otherwise had a very adventurous, fun abd terror filled life. I was an adreneline junkie living on the edge. My life was different. I also saw the world in a different light and was very cynical. My cynicism pushed me to the point where 'this world is really messed up, do I really want to subject children to this ' ? The concept of a wife always appealed to me. But I was not going to make any mistakes. I'm an engineer and look towards Zero Error Mode. I do my best not to let my little head make my important decisions. I've seen lots of divorces.
My career is very important, but as an engineer there is no job security 'Project over, there's the door........' So I don't use that as a major excuse.
And Yes I have met wonderfull women. And I even met the ideal woman in church of all places [Deceased now]. But I haven't given up.
I just live my life as best as I can, I'ts my business and no one elses.
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 36
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:03:04 AM
OP, there have been a number of posts about this, including ones about women over 30, 40, 50 and men over those ages not being married. There's no one right answer why some people haven't gotten married - and there's nothing that says everyone *has* to get married or there must be something wrong with them. Some people simply don't want to get married; others were in school and starting a career for much of their 20s/30s; and others simply haven't met someone they wanted to be married to.

In 30 years of dating I've been engaged 3 times; the last one got to 6 weeks before the wedding (the dress is still in a closet somewhere, waiting for a Halloween party)...I'm grateful I never went through with any of these because if I had, I'd be divorced right now as they weren't right for me. Hindsight is 20/20 and I can see that clearly now; but some instinct was telling me back then to not go through with it and I'm glad I didn't. I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship or marriage with the wrong person. And I know a number of others in my age group who have had the sam experiences and feel the same way. Maybe it's because we've dated what we don't want, and it's taught us what we do want, that we're content to take our time to find someone perfect, flaws and all, for us.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 37
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:03:07 AM
I think 30 is the new 20 anyway...I think it's more normal now than ever to wait until you are in your 30s before making any type of major decision like that, including a big move to another state, purchasing a house, or anything that requires a leap of faith. I think 40 is more the age where people start asking questions.
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 43
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:21:34 AM

GUy #2 nerdy virgin who works alot but is rich and does IT
Hey, chadster!, I bet no women want to date rich men in your neck of the woods, eh? So why is the guy a virgin? Could it be by choice, and that he isn't an animal, trying to hump the leg of anything that moves, especially men? You people crack me up!

most of my friends that got married in their 20's are divorced.
I know VERY few people who are my age and who AREN'T divorced, and/or saddled with kids from a previous relationship that went sour.

I'm not commitment-phobic, I'm failure-phobic. I'd rather wait and go into something with an 80% chance of success, than anything else.
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 46
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/19/2007 1:25:40 PM

"I will date a divorced man over one that hasnt been anyday of the week because he already has the patients "

was he a doctor, or dentist?
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 58
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 5/25/2008 11:28:33 AM
This is exactly what I am trying to avoid. By the time I'm 30, I at least want to be married, or engaged. Kids can come later. There is nothing wrong with it, but I want to have children at a young enough age to be able to enjoy their childhood while raising them and possibly enjoy my grandchildren as well. Everyone always tells me that I'm young and will find the right woman when the time is right, but 30 is right around the corner and I don't even know where the past 10 years of my life have gone so next thing you know, you'll be 40 with no wife or children. Beware.
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 59
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:01:28 PM
I don't see anything wrong with being over 30 and not having married or having had kids yet. It's all about priorities and if getting your financial/career up and running was a priority that's all good. Getting married too young and having kids can make life difficult, especially if finances are ALWAYS a problem. However, I did find it surprising when I met my ex that he had never been married because he was in his 40's. I never got a straight answer to that one. However, we have a child, but I'm no longer married to him. He's a great father to her, but was a not so great husband. Maybe it's the lack of having been in long-term relationships. I think we learn to be better partners with experience in living with another. I certainly have come away from that relationship knowing what I want and don't want in my next relationship.
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 77
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:49:08 AM
Well, for me, I have a top "bucket list" like most people do. My list includes:

1. Decent job
2. Decent house
3. Stay in shape
4. Be able to play guitar well

And that's it. Everything outside of this list is a "maybe". You don't see wife or kids on the list, so this means they are optional in my life.

Also, I LOVE my freedom. I don't sleep around though. I'm just commitment phobic, because I really enjoy my free time, and do exactly what I want with it.

I see most of my co-workers and friends in horrible marriages. Most are divorced or in the process. I will not be screwed in a divorce, or be stuck in a bad marriage.

I also have the whole if I like them, they don't like me. And if they like me, I don't like them thing going on with most women.

I'm perfectly fine being single, infact I enjoy it greatly. There's always the possibility that I'll meet "the one" though.
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 79
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:53:27 PM
Well Im 42 no kids and never married. And NO Im not gay!!! Im just not going to play games the women play (not all just the ones Ive run into). Its also my choice that I dont want kids and dont want someone elses kids.Finding someone w/o kids isnt easy.Anyway Im sure there is someone out there,patients is a virtue.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 86
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:24:15 PM
~OT~ I think it's great myself. In my entire life, I have only dated one man with children and it was flippin' disasterous. I had no clue there were so many men who simply had no interest in having their own biological children. That tells me he know himself well.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 89
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:12:52 PM

I notice there are alot of men over 30 with no children. From what I could tell, there may be commitment issues or attitude problems.
...or maybe those guys are smarter, and more responsible, than the people who had a bunch of kids before they found the partner to have a permenant lasting relationship with.

Maybe the person, with kids, who's not currently with the mother/father of those kids, is the one with commitment or attitude problems?

I don't want to bash divorced people, single parents.
But to me it seems pretty sad that divorce and single parenting have actually become so common, that the divorced people and single parents are actually suspicious of anyone who's notdivorced, or is not a single parent.

Some of you people's great grandparents would be spinning in their graves if they realised we now had a world, where the person who didn't father a bunch of **stard kids would be considered an undesireable misfit.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 91
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:24:14 PM
No emotional baggage from failed marriages, no saddlebags, stable job hopefully...yeah one would think women would be interested in a guy like that.
You'd think a woman should be interested in a guy like that.

However, most of the people on these sites, have fvcked up their own lives so bad, that they've come to assume that fvcked-up lives are normal.
As a result, they're actually suspicious and wary of the guy who's been smart enough not to fvck up his own life.
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 95
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/4/2008 8:25:36 PM
sounds like a smart guy to me....considering the alternatives...
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 98
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/5/2008 7:43:30 AM
Bi-Polar or some other mental illness.
Mental dis-orders are something that only a trained proffessional can diagnose.
I'm not sure why some untrained people are foolish enough to believe they have the ability to make such diagnosis of other people, just by reading a few sentences on the internet?

IT's just not normal to be over 40 and not had kids and married.
Oh please.
Apparently, divorce has now become so common in our society, that the divorced people now think they have some right to look down on peoople, who've never been foolish enough to enter into a marriage that would fail, and state that there must be something wrong with them????

In my opinion, it is normal not to have failed marriages.
Apparently it's just not normal in your world.
 Mr Bain
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 102
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/11/2008 1:35:18 PM
I am not far from turning 30, and I'm in perfectly good health.

That should be good enough for any woman.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 111
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:56:04 AM
I have to say it never crosses my mind. I am 27 (very nearly 28) not been married, no kids and it's because i've chosen not to as have not been ready for that, however i would not expect anyone to presume anything about me due to this and i also wouldn't judge a man for this either x
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 113
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:42:24 PM
Just because a guy has never been married and has no children doesn't mean he has gay issues. I was engaged to a girl who I had a child with, but I lost them both in a car accident. So technically, I don't have any children and I was never really married even though we felt we were. I don't tell girls I date because then they want to ask me a lot about it. I think its easier to tell girls I'm divorced.
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 114
view profile
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:37:38 PM
I prefer a man to be over thirty, never married, with no kids. I only worry when I hear that he also has never had a long term relationship, because if it does suggest that something must be wrong with his ability to atttach if he has made it to thirty without ever attaching to any girl before. I am a bit leery of men who have children and are divorced, because if they weren't able to keep a marriage together when there was children involved, what chance do we have of having a successful marriage in the future without kids in the equation (I don't plan to have them)? I know there are all sorts of reasons people get divorced, but if he's been divorced before, it seems like it's more likely that he could divorce me. I want to get married one day, and only one time. I'm not in a huge rush to get married, but once I do, I want it to last.

Now, if a man hasn't had a long term relationship before, I'll still date him. I seem to attract a lot of guys like this...guess it's because I go for the geeky type. So I wouldn't worry that women would let this affect their decision to go on a date with you or not. It's not really that big a deal. First time for everything, right?
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 116
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:46:43 PM
I gotta ask, what does that make a previous married now divorced single guy with no kids, a gay deadbeat? I have taken nearly 20 years to find the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and I am straight and have a measured IQ in excess of 135, only saying that to suggest I am not dumb just the way life has dealt me my cards. But I would rather be, well over 30 single and ready to meet the person I have waited my life for than be married to the wrong person with a couple kids and wondering 'is this it'? I am just going into a new business and a new relationship so I hope any Psycho periods my SO has are only matched by my own and we work them out, ain't life a blast.
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 120
Men over 30, unmarried no children
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:33:41 AM
They missed the boat and it will get harder for them to find someone they actually get along with
Doesn't your profile say that you're single?
Maybe you also missed the boat? and maybe it's equally hard for you to find someone who you get along with?

Men that age, no kids and never married are strange
Perhaps I find it strange, that the people who believed in concieving kids before they had a permenant committed relationship, would call me "strange" for not concieving kids before finding a permenant committed relationship?

I don't really want to say anything rude about single parents, or divorced people, or bash anyone do to the circumstances in their lives.
But it pisses me off that any single parent, or divorced person, would actually have the nerve to insist that someone is "strange", or not normal, just for not having bastard children and/or failed marriages.
Why the fcuk should those people bash me, or call me strange, due to the circumstances in my life? (circumstances that may have resulted partly from me demonstrating more responsibility than they did)

What kind of ignorant ceasepool of trailer trash values has our society become, where we actually believe that the people, who haven't lived a lifestyle of failed marriages, and had numerous stray children with multiple partners, must have something wrong with them?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Men over 30, unmarried no children