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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE      Home login  
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 crittersitter
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 4
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
OP: I think he was trying to get into your 'pants' , not your heart.
I also think he's unemployed.

He didn't go to the diner 'cause he's low on $$$.
He said he was sick stomach & stayed home from work on a Monday ( he wasn't ill) & ws also available to go out the next day-Tuesday.
He kinda-sorta made plans for dinner-But he didn't intend to take you out to eat.

If you had told him it was o.k. to come to your house to get you, the dinner date would probably have turned into 'let's hang out & f uck' ( or some other variation).

He blew you off 'cause you actually wanted to go out on a date & didn't ask him to just come on over and hang out.

Too many flags alert!



Next!
 oggers
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 5
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:37:40 PM
sounds to me like a big red flag .... sounds like he has a pressing ( marital ) engagement ... otherwise why the sudden stop ? No call, no date ..
Think carefully about your conversation with him when his daughters were there .. was it still flirty / chatty , or was it the kind of conversation that anyone could have with a friend ( assuming his daughters are old enough to twig what he was up to .. )

Forget him .. move on ...
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 7
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:41:32 PM
His friend saying he was a doctor ( a lie ) was the first clue the guy wasn't interested in you except for fun and games. After you knew this and him pretending to be something he wasn't.... and still talking to him, the rest is your fault. Another case of a woman losing IQ points once show just a little attention.
He was looking for casual sex and you proved to be too much trouble. End of story.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 8
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 3:45:43 PM
Oh, my dear Auntie Em--------I hope you know you're by far one of my all time favorite women here and I'm always on your side, hoping one day you will meet a guy truly deserving of your better qualities!!

You met a guy in a bar which is bad news-----almost always! He and his friend have a schtick where he's a doctor which is a VERY common trick played by guys out to have fun and little else when clubbing. Yes he paid a lot of attention and seemed quite the good catch until something else distracted him. I have no way of knowing what or who distracted him and no one else here will either regardless what they tell you. You were someone who seemed great that night but now that it might turn into something more than a boys night out in a bar, messing with women for who knows what reasons he's not up to the task. You say this all took place from Friday night until today if I read correctly so the whirlwind romance is over---ended by the reality of Mondays!!

He played all the right cards until it seemed he'd run out of tricks so now he's done the vanishing thing. No more calls, no text messages, nothing--Zip, Zilch, Nada and nothing at all--------that's the way some guys are--------those you meet clubbing anyway. I know first hand how these sorts of games are played and they're far more common than many honest, well-assuming women think. Of course, there are women just as adept in these sorts of games so it's truly an equal opportunity thing.

Bars aren't necessarily bad places and the people who go there just might be decent people if you meet them any other way. You happened to meet one intent on playing with your affections and attention and this is the result. If he has disappeared forever you're at no great loss since he's shown he can't or won't be honest. If you're really seeking someone who's more sincere meet them some other way if at all possible.

You have the worst luck with guys and it makes me sad------this all is very much the enigma to me as well. Better luck next time-----------we've missed you here!!
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 15
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:43:18 PM
seems this is another one of the OP's threads to whine, sorry but I have read them before and they end up full of contradictions and confusion. Maybe like the dates ?
I'm sure we will hear it all through the valley of ups and downs, deep lows and highs before the final curtain of all the emotional conflict and turmoil over every word and possible meaning.

I'd rather eat sand than try to keep up with yet another dating prospect of the OP's.
ugh
Drama, drama, drama.
 1knight1
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 16
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 4:53:08 PM
maybe he is just thinking to himself, "i don't want to come across needy, so i better slow down on the phone calling."

or he might be playing ya, not enough info to really tell.... i would say, lock up & keep your chastity belt on
Be patient, and he'll show his true spots, eventually. i do hope it works out for the better.
in the mean time, also keep your eyes open for another dude. ... don't be to fixed on the one guy.
just incase he is playing you.

good luck
Knight
 Miss Angele
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 22
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:43:21 PM
Go slow girl, there could be a logical explaination but if he alreay lied to you once how will you know if he tells truth. He certainly sounds intrested but he doesnt sound reliable at all.
 DeeVeee
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 23
MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:46:43 PM
My instinct is likely that it is one of two situations.

He really was interested at the moment, but in the light of day not so much. then he revives interest momentarily, and then....not so much. I've done this myself, it's kind of a "Ooh, great catch......maybe not.....well, I don't want to cut ties altogether because there seems to be some interest, maybe in a little want a fall-back on a rainy night" The interest is genuine, but the intentions are variable.

The other is that he just gets off on leading women on for the ego boost. It's nothing personal, and it's sometimes not even intentional. They thrive on attention and being pursued, and that someone of quality validates him and his self-worth. He can play the back-and-forth, cat-and-mouse for a while, but you are not the one that he will suddenly change his ways. He met you in a standard setup for him, you have not broken a pattern yet.

Be glad that you dodged a bullet, no matter how charming, handsome, or wealthy he is. At least he isn't one of the truly cruel, the ones who thrive on establishing a passionate relationship and make plans with you for the future, and his greatest joy the how hard your heart breaks when he decides to do it, usually as soon as he has another notch lined up.


Good luck.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 25
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 5:51:36 PM
I still think you should go for the finance guy

Unfortunately, the comments about him likely being after sex are probably true. How many women spend hours talking to a guy, give him her number at his request, and never hear from him? They can't all just be short bus riders. There is nothing particularly sinister about the doctor thing but it is pretty retarded for someone that is out of his early twenties.

Since he is still in contact and you still like him, I would give him one more chance to get together and if he needs to reschedule again I would write him off and only talk to him as an acquaintance if you even want that much contact.
 mookiera
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 29
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 10:00:40 PM
U are driving yourself crazy obsessing on what could possibly be with this guy. Wake up and stop being a twit! There are a lot of nice guys out there. This guy is playing games, too busy, or too busy playing games!
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 30
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 11:16:27 PM
i think he has a girlfriend or something weird and someone walked in the room and he had to hang up....maybe he actually really liked you and had never tried to cheat before so he was super nervous and got messed up?
 cupidstrikes
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 31
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/18/2007 11:44:18 PM
I'm sorry and I hope I don't sound like a negative nelly, but a lie is a lie is a lie.....all in fun? Lying/pretending to be something your not is all in fun? Come on, think about it, that's a 'game' they play when they go out. Doesn't this send a red flag up for you that he's into playing games? If he didn't want to play a game on you - he would have said something that night.



Ok well first off let me say this. I hope nobody takes offence to this because it's not directed at anyone specifically, but from me being on here for quite sometime, I've noticed that many of you are always so distrustful and negative. Hell, it's no wonder half the people on here are single!
MANY of you are very presumptious and don't ever seem to give people the benefit of the doubt!
Is this how society has turned towards their fellow man/woman?

Now in regards to the quote I just posted.
I don't know if many of you do not get out much ,or do not ever drink, but I can tell you something right now. Sometimes while out partying (especially if drinking) and having fun with friends (and possibly others you meet while being out) it's easy to sometimes get carried away/wrapped up in things and forget the "nitty-gritty".

Now me personally, I don't lie. Nor do I have people lie for me. It's either people accept me for who I am or they're not worth me knowing/befriending. That's the way I see it. HOWEVER, in reference to this situation; perhaps he would have even told the OP even earlier about not really being a Doctor, but it slipped his mind and he only realized it the next morning after waking up and being sober.

HAVE YA EVER THOUGHT OF THAT POSSIBILITY?

Geeze with such cynicism and negativity it's no wonder many of you are single.
You are your own worst enemy with the type of mindset of you carry.


Don't get me wrong. There is a POSSIBILITY that he may in fact be a player or what not, but it's too soon for ANYONE in this thread to make a well informed characterization. Anyone who tries is just speaking out of ignorance!
It may have just so happened that the week you two met, things had come up for him unexpectedly. Nobody here truly knows.

On a side note:
It baffles my mind to seen GROWN men and women on here throwing names as if they're back in elementary school calling people they don't know things like "jerk", "dork" etc.
Do you all ever re-read your posts and see how silly that is?

At 30 years old I grew out of that by about the age of 14 LOL

REAL MATURE ALRIGHT!
 cupidstrikes
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 33
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:11:02 AM

Thank you thank you!

SOMEONE has to be the voice of reason in this madness we seem to call HUMANity/manKIND!

Give it time and see what (if anything) pans out.
As the person above me just stated (and it's true), you two only just met!

Take it one day at a time.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 34
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:28:25 AM
you guys its called the weining out process........she should not call him, she is beautiful..he does that and on to the next one....because there are guys who are willing to make a great first impression and strive for your attention.........he can make up for it but its his choice to and hers to accept..................
 cupidstrikes
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 35
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:39:37 AM
What the hell does beauty have to do with anything here?


Here we go with the mentality North Americans get spoiled with.
If someone is beautiful and/or rich then they're to be treated differently than anyone else?
"She should not call him, she is beautiful".

It's this shitty mentality many women have that has them walking around with their noses in the air thinking they're better than anyone and everyone else and holier than shit!

How do you know "he does that and on to the next one"?
Yes it may be, but you don't know that for sure. You don't know the guy personally do you?

Some of you women think you have it all figured out and that ALL men are players, etc.
*shakes head in disbelief*
It baffles my mind how some people can speak from lack of knowledge/facts.
 fun-in-the-sun64
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 36
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 12:42:49 AM
Life sometimes happens, things don't always go as planned when you have kids. Initially I thought he's probably married but if he was talking to you infront of his daughter I would assume not.

You have very little invested in this so far give him a break, relax, take a deep breath. If he calls and seems intent on making concrete plans roll with it, you seemed interested judging from your writing so why throw it away?? Just keep fishing in the mean time, you have pretty nice bait from what I can see so if you find something better before he gets his act together, that's part of the deal.

I can tell you from personal experience distance above 30-40 minutes can be a big problem in the light of day. You might be really attracted to someone in person but the reality of living an hour apart may have hit him at somepoint so he waffled on his commitment to making something happen. Driving 90-120 minutes round trip for a date is no big deal but doing it 2-3 times a week starts to look less and less attractive the more you think about it. Can't just get together for a bite after work, or to hang out and watch a movie etc etc.

At the end of the day he might be a player but you're not getting played. Your eyes are open so pay attention to the details. He'll either get better or continue to slip and you can kick him to the curb if he establishes a pattern. Very low investment, very low risk and you're interested, why just forget it if it might make you happy just protect yourself and don't put all your eggs in the basket until he demonstrates the basket is stable and reliable.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 38
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 7:59:36 AM
OP, I have to go with msg 4 on this one...I just get a really hinky feeling when I'm reading what you've written...This guy and his friend pretend he's a doctor - why? So he can see what women might get excited about dating a doctor? He makes out with someone he's just met; huh - does he do that with everyone? He's already made plans once then never brought them up again, and didn't return your call specifically asking about the date he mentioned for that night. He then texts you and says 'call me'...why couldn't he call you? Sounds to me this guy is just looking to see how interested you are and mainly to see if he can get some easily. There doesn't have to be sex talk for him to only be looking for that; in fact, of he's smart, he'd make sure there wasn't any sex talk if that's his aim. He's had his chance to ask you out and hasn't come across as very interested in doing so. Don't you deserve better treatment than this? Don't you deserve someone who wants to be with you and who makes the effort to do so?
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 41
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 8:53:00 AM
First off you are a local girl so I have to answer this-

Honey - YOU just met him at a bar. Give it some time here-
life happens. You made plans with him, well maybe you are
not the only thing going on for him at this time. Just because
you met him out you are assuming he is Single and available-
Means nothing - like I said, could have other things going on if
you know what I mean.
Simply carry on - he will get in touch with you if he wants to see you
again. Sounds like he made all these plans and they all fell through.
I dont know- Really Good Italian Restaurant on 9th and Christian is Villa De Roma,
tell him when he calls to meet you there.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 42
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:16:14 AM
Ok Cupid and all the others------

When i said she is beautiful, she should not call him. I meant she is beautiful inside and out and should not call him becasue he blew his chance and she does not have to settle for anyone she is questioning.................................

wow I thought it was more obvious then that.
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:32:01 AM
OP, I might be way off, but from what I read of your posts, it would appear that he meant to go out for dinner on Tuesday (ie: tonight), since Monday didn't work for him (as he told you on Sunday), and Tuesday wasn't good for you to leave town...

I'd give it a little bit before jumping to any conclusions. it's been a weekend that you've known him ~ chill

ps ~ any updates??
 Curiousfellow
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 44
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 9:53:42 AM
I guess I'm with the Cupid crew in that I'm wondering why everyone is already looking to pin the player tag on the guy. So he and his friend do a spiel where they play him off as doctor initially. Did he not retract that statement shortly after. Breaking the ice can be difficult at any age as far as I can tell, so puffing up ones self image is a feasible concept.

Further more life is unpredictable, and you have to remember that they just met and things come up. Not everything we want in life comes out exactly the way we planned. Truth could be that perhaps he is a player, but theirs signs that go either way. People just have to realize that they are trying to get to know a person here, not reading a billboard.

I would just say, try going on a first real date or two before entirely make up your mind. Hell even if the first date goes great (hopefully there will be first one), thats no reason to start breaking out the wedding invitations. Things take time.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 46
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:30:21 AM

I guess I'm with the Cupid crew in that I'm wondering why everyone is already looking to pin the player tag on the guy. So he and his friend do a spiel where they play him off as doctor initially. Did he not retract that statement shortly after. Breaking the ice can be difficult at any age as far as I can tell, so puffing up ones self image is a feasible concept.


If this guy is in the OP's age group, playing on a little story about what he does fo ra living is not only lying, it's pretty stupid, immature behavior, IMO...and would he have come clean so fast if the OP wasn't a nurse and able to ask him questions he had no answers for? If not, then he's no better than the guy another user posted about in a different athread who lied that he had a job for 6 months because he was 'embarrassed' to be unemployed. Lying about being a doctor isn't breaking the ice; saying 'hello' is. and did others miss that this guy was doing a lot of texting and asking the OP to call him? Obviously nothing's wrong with his fingers since he can text; so why doesn't he just pick up the phone and call her? Isn't the OP worth that much? I think she's worth it, and I'm not even looking to date her (no offense OP, but I like men ;>).
 cupidstrikes
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 47
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 10:46:55 AM
The funny part of it all is that if this was a guy posting this "problem", people would say he's obsessed and needy (traits women often complain about and run from).
Especially since they had just met and have not even had ONE date yet!

THEY JUST MET!
Give it a chance.
Wow, are you people always so quick to jump to conclusions and overly analyze things?

I consider myself a very analytical person, but when circumstances allow for it ,and this time I think it's too soon to necessisarily read too far into things.

Many of you are too quck to judge and dismiss others.
It really is a shame because I can just imagine how many great friendships/romantic relationships you all may have missed out on due to your hastiness.

LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, AT THE VERY LEAST THE GUY HELPED MAKE YOUR NIGHT OUT CLUBBING A LITTLE MORE MEMORABLE THAN IT MAY HAVE BEEN WITHOUT HIM, NO?
MANY TIMES WE GO CLUBBING WITH OUR FRIENDS AND IT ENDS UP BEING JUST THAT. US BEING OUT WITH OUR FRIENDS, NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.
AS LEAST YOU MET SOMEONE THAT NIGHT AND SHARED A FEW LAUGHS, DRINKS AND SOME DANCING OR WHATEVER.

If nothing more comes out of this then at least you had that one night.
Afterall, who really knows if this is something that would have even endured 2 or 3 dates.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 50
A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:01:05 AM

, personally, don't have a problem with the Dr. story...why? Cause he didn't tell me, it was his friend...and he didn't once brag about it or even bring it up....I DID. I said "Oh, you're a doctor huh, well...I'm a nurse, isn't that funny"...when I questioned him on a couple things...(and he couldn't give me the answer....he didn't want to talk about it, that's what he said, He actually said "Let's talk about something else"...so I dropped it.
I sensed a definite reluctance for him to talk about it as the night progressed.


So why didn't he simply just say then that no, he wasn't a soctor and his friend was just goofing around? Pretty simple to do...rather than having a reluctance to talk about it.


also think that since no time was made for the 'date', that on one hand, it wasn't 'set in stone' and he might've thought Tuesday was the night....I'm not sure...all he said Sunday is he'd call me with directions around 2pm (which he did) And when he told me he was sick when he got up, maybe he thought I'd assume that a heavy Italian meal might not do well on his stomach. I don't know about anyone else, but I've had 24 hour bugs, called out of work, and later in the day felt better to go to the store, but not necessarily on a date. Running to the store and going on a dinner date, very different.
I'm not making excuses for him, BUT I think I shouldn't judge him to be a player or dishonest so quickly.


Doesn't matter that a time wasn't set up - the day was. And sure, people get sick, so why couldn't he just say he didn't feel good and could you both reschedule? I find that when people don't make definite plans, they generally never make them; or they end up cancelling a lot. No, don't judge him too quickly, but also don't make too many excuses for him. If he's interested he'll make definite plans to see you...without you having to call him. Simply take your time, keep your eye out for red flags and/or repeated strange behavior, and go from there. And if you two decide to make a date, set the time and place then, not do it in the next day or two...if he can't do that, then I'd wonder why not. No one is that busy that they can't make plans a few days in advance...or call to cancel if something comes up.

As far as negativity, I don't think people are being negative...you posted "A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!" and people are simply giving you their opinion based on what you've posted...you're the one that said it was a date that wasn't...kind of a negative in itself. But please keep us posted; it will be interesting to see how this turns out, based on the differing opinions on here...and hopefully it will be good for you, however it turns out.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 52
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A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!
Posted: 6/19/2007 11:32:34 AM
Op, i sympathize with you for trying to be understanding and open-minded. these are good things to be. i try to be the same way. but (you knew there was going to be a 'but', right? ) my sense of this, is that you are doing a lot of wishful thinking (understandably, i mean, you like the guy) around a situation in which in fact there are quite a few red flags.

i'm surprised, REALLY surprised, that in your OP you said you didn't see any red flags to speak of while in the same OP you told us that he and his friend have this game they play at bars where they tell women that they are doctors when they are no such thing? that wasn't a red flag the size of texas? it surely would have been for me. it means that he and his friend pick up women, love em and leave em. if they planned to have any kind of future with these women -- even simply casual dating -- then they wouldn't be telling that big lie in order to get women interested. in fact they wouldn't be telling any lies. it is an obvious clue that it's just a pick up, nothing more.

did you consider the possibility that the reason he didn't stay at the diner had nothing to do with his friend's alcohol consumption but instead was because he didn't want to eat with you, he wanted to get you in bed? i think that seems kinda sorta well, obvious. and who knows what they did at that point -- they could have just gone to another bar and tried again to get laid, or perhaps what he said was true but i highly, highly doubt it. you said you guys had been making out etc and i think it seems clear that he had hoped this would progress to someone's bedroom.

golden rule: when something is too convenient to be true, it is often false.

think for a moment about the doctor lie, what does this mean?

--what this means is that he and his friend have a schtick that they put on at bars. since they have a schtick, this means they go to bars often and try to pick up girls, this means they lie to lots of women -- women who aren't nurses like you and so cannot quiz them the way you did. (i am certain they were devastated to learn that you are a nurse, i am also certain that that is why he "told you the truth right away" in the following phone call.) think about it, if he had not been forced to tell you the truth, do you think you would know, now, that he isn't a doctor?

--think about it, if he lied about what he does for a living, what else has he or will he lie about? to start with a lie? oh my, this is the worst possible place to begin.

--think about it, had he picked you up for the date, this would have given him an easy entre to trying to stay at your place. in fact, he might have all of a sudden gotten a tummy ache upon arrival and so, said, "let's stay here instead of going out..." etc. no wonder the date didn't happen after all...

--think about it, since you responded the way you did to the lie, that you agreed with him that it's ok to tell big lies "just for fun," since you were gullible enough to accept that as an appropriate rationale for such a lie, this also sets a precedent for the future: it tells him that you will accept his lying as long as later he fobs it off as 'all in fun,' it means he can lie to you and you will accept that and not get upset or accuse him of being a liar or a player.

so, it sets a very bad precedent for the future. if it were me, as soon as i'd have figured out that he wasn't a doctor -- way back, on the first night, while still at the bar, which you said you did figure out -- that woulda been it. i'd have stopped talking to him right then and moved on to the other guy who may not be as cute, who may actually BE an electrician, but who is honest and good and isn't trying to play me or any other woman.

there ARE nice guys in bars, but i think this guy is not one of them. use your head and don't lower yourself to thinking you have to accept a person of his caliber -- you deserve better, you deserve honesty, you deserve not to be used: find a guy you deserve.

i think you are a very nice person, and i am sure he DOES like you -- as much as he can like any woman (who isn't his wife) -- but i also do not feel that his intentions with you are the same as your intentions with him...

golden rule: when a guy lies to you, stop right there.

better luck next time, OP!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > A strange situation..Can someone makes sense of this PLEASE? MY DATE FOR TONIGHT THAT ISN'T!