Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Young children that use bad language      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 2
Young children that use bad languagePage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I think the problem may be yours, not theirs. I believe that calling any words "bad" or "foul" is nothing other than censorship. While certain words may be more adult in nature, these kids feel the need to use them for some reason. Most likely they are just trying to be shocking in order to get attention - makes them feel cool. Language and expression is important and we shouldn't censor it.

Words can't harm anyone who understands they are just words.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:53:17 AM
Why would you think that young children who swear are doomed to a life of crime and/or delinquency? Many people swear but are perfectly capable of refraining from it when they are working or with people that are uncomfortable with foul language.

Most teens at some point experiment with cussing and kids are doing things younger and younger today. Instead of thinking that they are 'bad kids,' you should tell them not to use that kind of language giving them a choice about how they wish to behave.

Has it occurred to you that these kids have no one in their lives that cares enough about them to ask/tell them to stop? These are exactly the type of children that would thrive on the shock value they get when they swear within ear shot of adults.
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:43:10 AM
i have raised 3 very polite children. all says please, thank yous, pardon me's etc etc-then there's my youngest daughter-my 4th child. she is 6, calls anyone she can (mainly family), 'pooh face', 'bum' - out slips 'oh shit' when something goes wrong for her, even 'bloody hell' at times. it got to the stage where ignoring her was just condoning it, telling her off gained a reaction/attention. time out, fav toys taken..i tried everything! then a friend told me about mustard..i threaten to put some on her tongue and put it close enough for her to smell, and now you'd be amazed at how quick she can stop herself from swearing :)
 Scheherrazade
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 8
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 10:45:40 AM
Younger kids 13 and under do it for shock value and to see what type of reaction they get. If you do not want your young children to swear, you have to stop them at the first word or they will keep doing it until the consequences get to be more than they want to deal with.

If your teenager is not cussing to your face, then you can bet they are doing it behind your back. They do it to sound cool to their friends. Listen at the keyhole next time your teenager has friends over. You'll probably get your ears burned. We did it when we were teens and can expect no less of our own. That does not mean they will grow up to be the dreg of society. Its just a phase.

I use cuss words. Maybe not on a daily basis and really depends on the situation I am in or who I am with. With friends I am comfortable saying what ever comes to mind with no need for censorship. In a professional situation I speak accordingly.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 10
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 11:05:40 AM

Say what you want about words not being "bad or foul" you obviously do not have children

First, it is not obvious I don't have children, it is obvious my profile says I have no children. Many people live with children that are not their own - extended families, foster care, home day care, etc.

Second, this is not an issues about age, it is an issue about teaching children that language is "good" or "bad". As soon as you tell a child something is bad, many of them want to do just that (forbidden fruit, and all). But, when you treat words like they are just words, then you take away the mystique of certain words.

Simply tell the kids that they should use the words that are best for them. But, they have to also realize that certain words can make people uncomfortable or angry. Kids are pretty smart creatures; you give them choices and they are more often that not going to choose wisely. Give them absolutes and they often want to push the boundaries to see how far they can go.

And, to the person who believes I have no children, I have been facilitator of the Parenting With Dignity® course for many years, so I have a pretty good idea what I am talking about.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 12
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:42:21 PM

My kids a polite and respectful

You can be "polite and respectful" and still use f*ck in a sentence.


Maybe try the same with drugs too, dont tell em its bad cause then theyll just smoke crack for the "shock Value

I am sorry, I have no idea what comparison you are trying to make. Surely you are not comparing that educating children about addictive, illegal and harmful narcotics can be compared to teaching them about the English language? You do understand there is a difference, yes? No one has ever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but crystal meth will never hurt me".

Please, if you are going to make comparisons for the purpose of debate, try to stay in the same topic of conversation.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 15
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:53:46 PM
No offense, but I would not consider your knowledge of parenting to be anything but theory

This is not a parenting issue, this is a language issue. Teachers need to know this too, and they are not your child's parent. Day care workers need to know this too, they are not your child's parent. Babysitters need to know this too, they are not your child's parent. Siblings need to know this too, they are not your child's parent. See where I am going with this?

Language is neither "good" or "bad". If it were, I would rather a child say "sh1t" than "hate". I would rather a child say "f*uck you" than say "I'm going to kill you". The most harmful words you are likely to hear are "you dissappoint me" or "you let me down", but we don't want to call those words "bad" regardless of the feelings they can cause.

But, you are entitled to stifle your child's understanding of language in any way you want; and I will choose to embrace language and its value to us all. To each their own.


What if your kids started using those words in their schoolwork? Would it be acceptable?

Many progressive high schools/secondary schools allow any language to be used in essays, journals, stories, etc. otherwise they would be teaching censorship.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 19
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 4:02:58 PM
bend them over your knee and spank them for every letter that was in the cuss word

Oh lord, they cannot "swear", but they can be abused. There is some tragic irony for you.


you want to teach a child words with "mystique" Webster has published a rather large book full of them

I think that's an excellent point. Why would we give more power to one word in the dictionary, but not another? Because all these "bad", "cuss", "swear" words are all in the full version of the dictionary. LOVE or F*CK - both just 4 English letters; nothing more, nothing less.


People that embrace a foul mouth generally have a limited vocabulary

I agree, and in a way it supports what I am saying. For many people who use these words as regular vocabulary, this is the only way they know how to express themselves easily. I am not saying I "embrace" the use of these words in conversation, I think they are somewhat limiting. But, I am not against these words in conversation because I think they have value.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 22
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:54:02 PM

but your point would only exist back when you were in high school, etc. Times and society have changed now

Hottieangel, i am 7 years older than you, not 70. And, schools have become more progressive, not less.

I am sorry you did not got to a progressive school that obviously educated with "old rules" not new ideas.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 25
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/25/2007 11:25:10 PM

They also know people say f**k, s**t, hell, etc

Here's a thought...some folks say that their use of language is about respect; but who are you respecting? Different words are "swear" wrods or "bad" words to different people.

I have a friend who could say "sh1t", but is he said "god damn", or "jesus christ!" he would have his butt whipped. For some more timid people words like "crap" are just as severe as "f*ck".

If we could all just embrace that words are just words and not give them so much power we would all be better off.

And, just to clarify, I am not for teaching these words to children, I do not suggest they should be using them, I am saying I think we need to accept it and realize it is not an important issue.

My own hypocrisy, as it were, is thanks to my upbringing I still cringe at the word c*nt. I have nothing against the word, but my brother drove it into my brain that it is the worst word in the English language and, quite frankly, I try to use it now just to take away its affect.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 29
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/26/2007 7:21:18 AM

Slang is also not proper. (by definition) not only in black and white but in the real world as well. There are no cases where I would allow my children to indulge in slang terms or Ebonics for that matter. My kids are a direct representation of myself, and my upbringing as well.


Hows this for irony, eh. The word "kids" is a slang word for children. People used it when referring to how messy children were, like goats. But since the word was not judged it became part of our daily, accepted language.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 33
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/26/2007 3:58:11 PM
Anyone who believes it is "disrespectful" for a child to "swear" does not understand the definition of the word "respect". In order to respect someone, there must be intent. Children who use "swear words" do not have the intent to disrespect, therefore they are not "disrespectful".

If you useword like "innappropriate" your concern may make more sense. I still wouldn't agree with it, but it would show that the topic in understood.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 34
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 6/26/2007 5:45:11 PM
Wow - your kids must be a huge dissapoint to you since you said "My kids are a direct representation of myself" and this is the way you treat people who disagree with you.

You are a walking contradiction.

Notice, however, that for all your talk about "respect" and "English" and "bad words" that you are the one who cannot get their message across in a civil manner. Ironic. I think we can all see the future of your childrens' vocabulary. Good job!
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 43
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/1/2007 2:55:26 PM

Any care to explain why there is a language filter on this site?

Because 'the creator' also doen't have much faith in the participants to except language for what it is,just words. If the members were more enlightened, this wouldn't be neccessary.

Regardless, we have seen that at least 1 in 4 posters use this language anyway, proving once again, that people need it in order to express themself.
 mars_to_venus
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/1/2007 5:30:21 PM
Caused by bad mouth parent (s) and their bad mouth friends at school or both....... they need to be educated on the lango!
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 52
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:42:53 PM
Words are just a series of letters that have no power. Actions have power. As long as there are weak people who fear our language, people who think there is such a thing as a "bad word" then our society slows in its evolution.

Logically, if you can allow your mind to go there, four letters are four letter, right?

H*R*D*Z
E*G*N*P
F*U*C*K
R*F*Q*A
P*L*O*I
L*O*V*E
W*C*U*N

The above are all exactly the same thing; four letters. None worse, none better.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 53
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/4/2007 9:50:25 PM
UR4ME its clear you wasn't raisied to well. In my house your language AND attitude would be checked at the front door or you wouldn't enter.Another lost generation

This is the problem when the uneducated (you) don't pay attention to what the educated (me) have to say.

I have not said I am for a child using these words. I have not said we should teach children these words. And I have not said I use these words.

I have said they are only words and we shouldn't give them any more importance than they warrant. I was raised to put my faith in people and their actions; not their words.

Anyone who judges a person for the words that they use, is not a person worth listening to.
 UR4ME?
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 54
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/5/2007 12:00:21 AM

LOL well if your an example of someone educated you sureeee have a lot to learn kid

Yes I do, and everyday I do, it would nice if you chose to do the same. When your thinking stops at 1950 you have a problem. When you have no understanding of the development of a language, you need to start doing some reading. Being 'simple' makes you simple.
 brandy_n_3
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 58
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 7/10/2007 1:11:17 PM
I do not allow it at all, heck my mother still chews me out if I swear around her and I am 30. I do swear on occasion, my usual phrase being "crap on a cracker" when things go badly, but anything more have to be due to a very good reason. THe reason I bring this up is because beore kids I swore alot, while pg with my first I lived with a couple troopers, there is a reason people say you "swear like a trooper" every other word is a swear word. I learned very quickly when the kids were little and started to parrot me just how often I swore. Kids learn what they hear and repeat it. All of my kids have experiemented with swearing, my 3 year old being the worst, due to things he heard while at the playground with his babysitter. All have been taught that those words are not acceptable for children to say, we call them grown up words. When they were small I would simply remind them, have them apologize to whomever was in the room to have heard the words "for hurting their ears with those words" and give a different word to use instead. Once they got old enough to truely understand the meaning of the words and were using them in context, such as my oldest who tried on 2 separate occasions to call me a b*tch when he didn't get his way, I got creative. My rule is if you don't know enough english words that you need to resort to swears I will teach you. For each swear they must copy out 1 page out of the dictionary. Let's just saw swearing rarely happens in my home anymore, copying a page from the dictionary takes away alot of their play time.

I know there is a chance they still swear with friends when I am not around, I remember doing that when I was a kid. But I hope as I continue to teach then manners and values that this will decrease as well, though only time will tell.
 mars_to_venus
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 2/21/2008 11:34:25 AM
My daughter is 5 and wants a cell phone
 mars_to_venus
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:24:15 PM
Kids are watching and listening. My mom has been watching my kids for me lately and my 3 year old son has been saying "d*mn-it!" and I know he got that from my mom because that was her favorite word when I was a kid.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 70
Young children that use bad language
Posted: 3/6/2008 10:16:35 PM
Totally unexceptable.
...the parent(s) need to step up and lead by example and stop this nonesense.

I have few rules in my household...respect is foremost.
Respect for yourself and for others. It is totally unrespectful for foul language to be used or tolerated.

This should not be seem as normal or just a sign of the times.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Young children that use bad language