|I'm done!!!Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)|
|I have been in your place 100s of times... deleted my profile and then put it back on in a couple of days to give it one more chance. Sometimes when I come in to delete my profile is when I get another message. That person didn't turn out to be any better than the other long list of loosers, but we only have to get it right once. If we give up we won't get anywhere. I have been told to get out and meet people other ways, but I don't think that is going to work either. At least on a dating site you know everyone on here is looking for someone to have a relationship with.. but most guys only pretend to be looking for a 'relationship'.... it is mostly a cover to find someone to meet to try to tell you what they think you want to hear so you will be happy to have sex with them. There has to be at least one honest and decent guy out there somewhere, but you aren't going to find him if you give up. I have to take my own advise more often than I give it. It is very difficult to not feel like giving up when you have nothing but bad luck meeting all the wrong people.|
Posted: 6/25/2007 5:04:18 PM
|It is sad to see most of the world are SOOO verys superficial. I try to feel sorry for these people because they so limited in how many people they are willing to take the chance to try to get to know. If they only get to know the beautiful LOOKING people in the world, think how much they are missing? I try to feel good about myself and treat people the way I would like to be treated - not how everyone treats me. So many people are so cold and uncaring. We need more people in the world who are not. I try to care about others no matter if they care about me or not, but that doesn't really ever get me anywhere. No one really wants anyone to care about them if you don't look the right way. Maybe some day someone will appreciate us for who we are, not how we look, although it may take many more years to find it, especially in a place like this.|
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:41:48 PM
|No one said this was going to be easy. Dating is definately not for the faint of heart. |
I know it is hard when you get rejected but you most sincerely have to consider the source. Just because you are a Thick Madame does not mean you are undesirable or pretty and it certainly does NOT automatically make you ugly. And just cuz a woman is skinny, doesn't make her pretty.
I too am built for comfort, not speed, so I share your heartache. Everyone wants to be loved. Give youself time to heal over the last jerkoid and try again only when you trully feel ready! Just like you are not like every woman do not judge all men's tastes by the ones you have met.
My advice...rent "Phat Girlz" staring Mo'Nique. It may help lift your spirits and make you feel better.
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:06:06 PM
You know what? Sod them all, all those shallow self-centred 'good looking' men on this site, have they really taken a good look at themselves? They may want slim pretty women but they really are to make the man look good. Im not pretty, young or slim, but previous to this site i have had two brilliant loving relationships. Have you noticed how long these men are on site for????????????
That is sooo true. Not only guys who have rejected me because I am not good enough looking on this site have been here maybe longer than I have..... but the same guys are on every other dating site I have looked at. ..still looking for the perfect looking super model to fall in love with them. The thing that makes me laugh is they don't seem to look in the mirror at themselves. I really laugh at some of the oldest and ugliest guys who don't really have anything at all going for them are the shallowest guys on the earth. The last guy I met that I never heard from again, although when we said good night he said we should do it again.. What an idiot. He had no intention of doing it again.. why do they lie like that? Why not just say it was nice to meet you like I said to him. I knew he wouldn't contact me again because I have met guys like him before. He really didn't have anything going for him and I didn't see we had enough in common anyway, but I would have given him a chance if he had given me one, even though I didn't really have an interest in him, we could have been good friends if nothing else.
I don't worry about those things any more..... it is their loss. He was complaining about not having any luck. I guess I found out very quickly why that is.. no one will ever be good enough. I have met a lot of guys like that. They aren't going to find anyone perfect, so they are wasting their time looking in here - or anywhere else for that matter. I feel sorry for these people..
Like I say to myself and other people many times.. we only have to get it right once. The thing is - we can't give up no matter how much we want to.
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:34:23 PM
Well, I am just not the type of girl guys want. I am tired of always being told how unattractive I am, how fat I am,
If guys are saying these things to you, THEY are the ones with a huge problem. It's called bad manners/low character. If anyone of either gender isn't interested in dating someone, for whatever reason, all you need to do is say "thanks for asking but I don't sense any connection/chemistry." Being rude or insulting is just, well...SMALL.
If you want to lose weight for the sake of your health and well being, by all means do so but please get guidance from your doctor or someone with training and experience in safe and sensible weight loss regimes. Forget the damn plastic surgery that's just ridiculous, unless you like have 2 noses or a 3rd eye or something.
I don't know why in the heck you are getting cruel and rude responses such as you describe. Or why you let them hurt you. That's just low class, no account, immature boys trying to pose as men.
I did look at your profile and it is pretty much a downer. I understand how angry and hurt you are, but that just invites more of the same. It's a rough go, this online dating, but I do think that every once in awhile a good man runs thru here in hip boots...
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:55:04 PM
|We do have to change our image some how so we don't protray ourselves as a victum. I have had to learn that mistake myself. That only attacts more of the same idiots. Players play on people who sound desparate. If we think we are aren't good enough, they will see it in what we write on our profile. Instead change it to say things positive about yourself and see what happens. That isn't always easy to do when we let people treat us like we are worthless. We need to change our image of ourselves before we start looking and not let anyone treat us with anything but respect. We all deserve nothing less. Someone who doesn't know how to treat everyone with respect doesn't deserve 3 mintues of our time. If we don't think we are worth anything, no one else will either. We have to be our own best friend first. |
What I try to do is take a look through the profiles, add a few good posabilities to my favourites list, wait a week or so to see if anyone contacts me, take them off and look for some new ones. Sometimes guys give up just like we do for the very same reasons so they are happy someone added them to their favourites. Then you have the idiots who don't like people doing that and send you nasty messages, but then you have weeded out the jerks very easily before you have to talk to them. I don't waste my time responding - I block them and remove them from my list so I don't make the mistake of contacting them or having them contact me again. Adding them to your favourites may make them notice your profile. It is best to post a picture of yourself to save feeling you have been rejected 100 times a day because of what you look like. When they write to ask for your picture, you send them one and then don't hear from them again that only makes us feel much worse about ourselves. I asked a few guys where the wart was on my nose. Do I have to wear a bag over my face to go out in public? Instead I should feel sorry for these people and think they will be looking much longer than I will to find what they are looking for in a place like this - someone perfect. I am sure they are not perfect themselves - no one is.. but some of these guys think they are God's gift to women but they haven't yet looked in a mirror.... WHAT A JOKE!! They are the ones who are loosing out on having good friends. The perfect looking people they are looking for may not be good friends, but they will look good on their arm when they go out in public. If that is what is most important to them, we are better off without them. They deserve each other.
Posted: 6/28/2007 1:05:57 AM
|It's a real shame people don't have more confidence in themselves. Granted we live in a graceless age in which disrespect and shallowness seems to trump all decent virtuls.................however, this lady really needs to take a serious look beneath her skin and deal with what is really the issue....her lack of self-respect.|
I feel badly that people have apparently treated her unfairly on the Internet, but to wade around in self pity is the worst thing one can do.................
Come on dear, snap out of it.................................if you treat yourself like a real woman then you will weed out the jerks and find a real man.
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:28:20 AM
|I can understand your dilema I am a big girl as well and yes I have met my fair share of jerks but guessing skinny gals do also. I read your profile sweetie, you need to reveal the positives such as a great sense of humor, obviously you have many interests and a brain which some men do appreciate.|
There are guys that prefer a full figured gal and I can say that for a fact. I have a special friend who doesn't mind my weight at all. Be honest when your talking with someone, tell them if they are looking for the tall skinny ditsy blonde they need to look elsewhere your a special treasure that needs a special fellow.
Think positive, get a great hair style, thats what I did and made me feel like a million bucks. Normally I don't spend that much on my hair but I needed a boost. If you ever need a friend to chat with I'm here for you. Maybe we could get a big gal's club going!
Posted: 6/29/2007 3:33:33 PM
|it does take a lot of bad dates to get one good one. So far on this sight I've gone out with a guy that said he had ED on our third date (and a 2 inch****, a guy that brought his atletes foot to the date (thought I would die from the smell), and a guy that made me buy dinner because he didn't tell me until after dinner that he was unemployed! Anyway, I consider myself very attractive, and so does every married man I know, and I still strike out. There are no good men left. They are all looking for a quick screw with a super model even if they are nothing to write home about themself!|
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:04:25 PM
|Guys like those give the male species a bad wrap. Anyhow, lifes never fair, but how we deal with what we are dealt is what makes or breaks us. I would not loose sleep about ignorant men who say these mean things to you. Most of the time people who belittle others do so to uplift themselves from certain flaws of their own. What a-holes they must be, but the good thing is that they are just a passing cloud. Someone somewhere always notices the good in you if you feel good about yourself. If you radiate confidence and high esteem about yourself, you are sure to attract someone worth your time. Personally if you ask me, i'd rather have an all natural girl than a barbie who's all plastic.|
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:33:02 AM
|all i have to say is if you cant handle what people say, how to you handle the real world, as i have had people say some nasty thigns to me and i dont even let it bother me, because they are just people on the net, its not as if you have even met them,s o dont give them the satisfaction of letting mere words get to you|
Posted: 7/2/2007 3:58:39 PM
|you need to stop feeling sorry for your self tell your self you are attrative , you don't want a man to tell you that and hurt you feelings i am fat i don't think think i am a attractive as most but i am me . you need to stand up for you don.t worry what no one think but you the is someone out there for everyone you will find your|
Posted: 7/5/2007 12:17:32 AM
|you've had 3 kids and you're only 32????...................it's okay to be fat....................it's just not okay to be single hunny.|
You should have thought ahead and made babies w/ the right daddy. Ya know?
Don't spread your leggs for every piece of shit that comes around, have a (3) kid's and then wonder why you're obese\???
Get OFF this site and worry about worry children, not the next guy that's gonna take advantage of ya!!!
MAYBE THEN YOU'LL ACTUALLY LOSE WIEGHT TOO!!!!
Posted: 7/5/2007 5:04:49 PM
|"You should have thought ahead and made babies w/ the right daddy. Ya know?" I don't know why you're so vicious to the OP. She is separated, I'm sure she thought he was the right daddy, not that it's any business of yours. It's just ironic how someone who has NO kids seems to think they know everything about having them.|
Your post is downright cruel and wasn't anything beneficial or adding to the discussion. I had child no. 4 at 30 and divorced their father, too. So maybe you'd like to try to pick my life apart, too.
Posted: 7/6/2007 5:36:46 AM
|I am going to take a break from here. I have deleted all my pics and am going to do what you have done heart bandit. I am not going to worry about what men think about me anymore. I am going to return to my main goal for this year which is the gym. I may stop in from time to time to post updates on how I am doing but after being with the site for almost two years I don't hold much hope for my king to be fishing in this pond.|
Posted: 7/7/2007 3:42:23 PM
|Dang, if this isn't a cry for PITY, I don't know what is... If they are Fat, they want to be skinny; if they are skinny, they want to be fat. If they have curly hair, they want straight; if they have straight hair, they want curly hair. If they are poor, they want to be rich; if they are rich, they want to be poor... |
The question is WHO are you UN-Attractive TO??? Yourself, or to others? It isn't what "these guys" think, its what YOU think...!
And let me tell you... Being Skinny, Blonde, and Pretty doesn't make ANY darn difference... I have a couple ex b/f's that will tell you that, as they left me for gals over 200#... So what? Them gals did me a favor, as I wasn't the right one for those guys anyway.
Its all about whether or not You love Yourself, and how you protray yourself!!! If you are obese and have a loving, caring, outstanding outlook on life, and treat people how you want to be treated, then you will go much farther in love, than a Skinny, Barbie doll looking gal, with a negative attitude that is always pointing out the wrong in life...
My suggestion would be to STOP looking for a man, and Love YOURSELF. Then, and ONLY then, can you find someone who loves You for You!!! The other thing, is take a look at the males you are picking, and see what they all have in common, and then look towards a male that is Completely Different than what you are "normally" attracted to!
We all have our times when we don't feel pretty, or times when our butts look big, or our hair drives us nuts, both women AND men!
I seriously don't believe having an account on P.O.F is the sole cause of your heartbreak, and just like a few others pointed out, you are SEPERATED, so that means you have at least had Love, or what was love in the beginning...
As far as starving yourself and getting plastic surgery? Look at Michael Jackson... Do you think that has enhanced his love life? Never mind... Don't answer that!!!
So, put down the Ben & Jerrys, and learn to Love yourself, and when you are happy with You, others sense it and will want to be with you for the way they feel when you are around them...!
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:39:36 AM
|Oh ... this is very sad. I've been told on NUMEROUS occasions I was too big to date but okay to um..well you know.. and I was slimmer then (and younger)(well most recently a few months ago.. told.. too big etc.) so you can immagine how I feel at 52 and 50 lbs heavier. AGGGH but these shallow people who've hurt and insulted you are a waste of our air. Don't give them the slightest millisecond of your time. I know it's hard but there are people out there who will accept you as you are. Best of luck !|
Posted: 7/19/2007 1:01:45 PM
|well sweet nomatter what u shouldnt let nothing r noone get to you! k i might have sum curves and not one of those fake ass barbie doll.. but u want to know summin im glad becuz thats what makes me! and its like everyone around me can be happy but yet im not but im happy with myself it took me sum time to realize that but i a beautiful thick women and i love it! gods got a reason for all of use to look like we do.. and h=guess what them skinny was will not be preety 4ever.... i might be thick but that doesnt mean i dont go work out i do... i walk 3miles a day notices i said walk..lolol.. watch what i eat... go to the gym when i can but im still thick why becuz it runs in the family im puertorican,indian so ill have sum thickness to me but its okay cuz im happy with myself so guess what love ya gyrl and dont worrie theres sumone for all of use out there! im still lokking for mine!!!! |
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