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 obhwhitedragon
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 1
mind games/I got you babePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
mind games/ i got you babe,

not into mind games at all, & never with a partner, or friends. but I have chatted with a couple of friends of late & this is going on..

sorry ,do not get it..

this thread is too try & help out a couple of these girls who are looking for answers.
& maybe others as well

so guys/girls...I am at a loss here.

I guess any help would be great...

whitedragon
 NaamahReincarnated
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 2
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 2:58:53 AM
^^^ I don't understand the question. But I think the answer is 42.
 hilly1971
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 3
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 2:59:36 AM
^^ you stole my words!!
Can i have the question again please Bert??
 Lacrymosa
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 4
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:05:51 AM
whitedragon

I think I know what you mean.

I have been out with a few from here and other internet sites.

I can handle one or two dates and then getting a "not interested" message (sometimes that never comes either but pfft I can deal with that too).

The ones that keep dating you for 6 weeks or so and then go cold make me wonder though?

Especially if they are continuing to see you but not making any move towards being exclusive. And their profile is up saying they are still looking. I change mine after the 3rd date (my idea) and others will have different times or boundaries.

The title gave me a clue. It's like "I got you babe" - now I will see if there is something else?

I know that may mean that he is not interested, but why not say so? Why not move on when it's time to move on?

It's like having your cake and eating it too.......
 serenex
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 5
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:06:25 AM
I got you babe .......Sonny and Cher was that it????
 obhwhitedragon
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 6
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:22:21 AM
my dear Naamah, there was not really a Qu.. there

some were just looking for an answers to mind games, & why after a few weeks this was happening & I did not have an answer.

I know these girls, & they are real sweetie's

I do not play these kinda games..so I had know idea at all

& I was ask to put this up here for them. so that some of you guys may have an answer for them..

But I think the answer is 42. ......incorrect,,,stay back after class & try again

whitedragon
 Gazza66
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 7
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:28:30 AM
How do you get answers without questions?

Proffessor Julius sum De miller?

I doubt anyone can give you an answer without some sort of dialogue... ya know?

Details, details.
 NaamahReincarnated
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 8
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:36:34 AM
So is the point of this that the guys date the girls for a few weeks then stop seeing them? Why is that a mindgame? Doesn't it just mean they dated to see how it went, and for them it didn't feel right? I don't understand why simply not being interested in pursuing anything further with someone is so often seen as a "game" being played by the person who is not interested. Wouldn't it be more of a "game" if you pretended to be interested when you weren't? I must be missing something here?

I'm sticking with 42.
 obhwhitedragon
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 9
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:46:37 AM
Details, details.

without to much detail..

here i go again...

ok, i guess the Qu is..

if they have lost interested..

why not just say so

why the mind games? & why let them think is ok, when it is not?

do you think they maybe just waiting around for something better?

why not just say its over, before the hurt starts..

Myself i think i am clad I still single if this is what is going on out there.

do you have an answer, I dont

 serenex
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 10
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:54:11 AM
I thought its was as simple as you are interested or not why prolong something that will never be
 Lacrymosa
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 11
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:55:23 AM
Hi Naamah

I think its more that they don't stop seeing you? And when you are with them it's like you are the paranoid one? That nothing is wrong between the two of you? But then when you are not with them they don't contact you when they used to? If they are not interested they should just say so and I would be back after a bit of a cry.....
 NaamahReincarnated
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 12
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:05:48 AM
OK gotcha now...they don't say they aren't interested but they act it. My theory, eh hem, eh hem, eeeeeeh hem, by Ann Elk, (sorry 'bout that) my theory is that it is very difficult to tell someone that you aren't interested in them. You know they are gonna take it as a personal insult and feel rejected. They might be sad, or get angry. It's not fun making someone feel bad like that. So they avoid saying it. My impression is that they are probably not intentionally playing mind games as such, nor trying to purposely hurt anyone, but they are probably just avoiding an unpleasant conversation that they don't want to deal with. Of course this only defers the inevitable and dragging it out makes it worse for everyone, but avoiding any whiff of conflict/unpleasantness seems to be something that many people do in many aspects of their lives, not just the romance side of things. Real honesty is pretty rare, because real honesty is a hard road sometimes, and people prefer the soft road.
 Lacrymosa
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 13
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:13:06 AM
In a way Naamah? But if you are honest and ask them if everything is cool and they reassure you it is? And there is no sign of anything being different except it is you that has to initiate contact? And when you do everything is still fine? I don't like unpleasant convos either, but sometimes you just gotta have em......
 obhwhitedragon
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 14
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:17:40 AM
OK gotcha now...they don't say they aren't interested but they act it. My theory, eh hem, eh hem, eeeeeeh hem, by Ann Elk, (sorry 'bout that) my theory is that it is very difficult to tell someone that you aren't interested in them. You know they are gonna take it as a personal insult and feel rejected. They might be sad, or get angry. It's not fun making someone feel bad like that. So they avoid saying it. My impression is that they are probably not intentionally playing mind games as such, nor trying to purposely hurt anyone, but they are probably just avoiding an unpleasant conversation that they don't want to deal with. Of course this only defers the inevitable and dragging it out makes it worse for everyone, but avoiding any whiff of conflict/unpleasantness seems to be something that many people do in many aspects of their lives, not just the romance side of things. Real honesty is pretty rare, because real honesty is a hard road sometimes, and people prefer the soft road.

now you have it..
as these ladies are friends of mine..I found it really hard what too say..

but you did say it so well..
should have got you to help out at the start..

thanx

whitedragon
 Gazza66
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 15
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:18:06 AM
People are generally lazy and creatures of habit, for whatever reason, the reason for the "mind games " can be focused upon either insecurities, or to gain something from someone e.g free drinks, lifts to work,promotions at work or social benefits, sex etc etc.

The bad part is that 99% of people know they are being played with and do nothing about it because they in turn have inadequacies, insecurities and lazyness.

I can without doubt tell you that if you are honest with yourself then you can rarely be played with. If you set your boundaries and live by them then it puts you at a better advantage and people will be able to tell your nobodies fool.

More to the point you will also be respected for having certain traits that you live by that come across as admirable.
 NaamahReincarnated
Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 16
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:29:18 AM
Lacrymosa, I totally agree. Was merely proposing a theory on why they are doing this, not condoning it. I always speak my mind. I have those hard convos rather than avoiding it, and I cop plenty of flack for being that way...am merely saying it doesn't seem to be the popular way to go about things.

Edit:
The bad part is that 99% of people know they are being played with and do nothing about it
Also agree with that. If I could tell a guy wasn't interested in me, in the way being described here, I wouldn't hang around waiting for the obvious to be finally verbalised.
 likes_a_laugh
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 17
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 5:39:25 AM
Interesting thread, but I think sometimes people misinterpret stuff others say or write, and they consider that disconnect as some spun-out plot to bend their minds. I don't take too much notice, if they're intrested they let you know, if not then they'll bolt soon enough.

Or maybe I'm so devoid of emotion I don't even notice... geez, I hope not!
 CuddlyCanuck
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 18
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 5:58:40 AM
I'm so confused - I swear this whole thread is nothing but a mind game, lol.

No patience for those sorts of people at all....
 Lacrymosa
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 19
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:28:33 AM


Or maybe I'm so devoid of emotion I don't even notice... geez, I hope not!


I'm sure you're not likesa....

An interesting discussion point though?


sometimes people misinterpret stuff others say or write, and they consider that disconnect as some spun-out plot to bend their minds


I find that a lot of dating sites have a lot of lonely people in them. Not everyone has their head together all the time? This medium can be misinterpreted at times due to no voice inflection etc. Sometimes people type what they are thinking and post it and it all comes out wrong (I have been guilty of this a lot!). But I read many threads about how men & women get with someone and still continue to frequent dating sites contacting other single people of the opposite sex? Or leave up on their profiles that they are still looking for someone?

My thought being if you come onto a dating site and find someone that you like and say you want to be with why keep looking? Most of us on here have been through bad relationships and thats what we are here for? To find someone who won't hurt us? Unfortunately this often happens because some people purposefully come onto these sites for just that reason. Not everyone is dishonest and maybe some don't intend to play games but there are those who do.

Therein lies the danger of internet dating....and the "I got you babe". Some people think hey? I got this one but maybe I can do better. So I will keep looking. For people already lonely who think they have found someone special this can be so distressing.

There are also those who say the want a long-term relationship. Perhaps it is not true for all, but at over 40 and having experienced some of life, I am pretty sure that if you spend a lot of time with someone for a couple of months, that you know by then whether it is worth continuing or not. If you put in your profile that you are looking for a certain type of person and the person you are with has those qualities, wouldn't it be fair to expect that they would presume you had found what you are looking for?

We all come here with our own thoughts, values and desires. We all have different dating rules. We all are unique. This is the beauty of the forums. So many people who are game enough to post their true thoughts and feelings in a public arena.

Please feel free to disagree with me....

 SergeantOz
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 20
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:40:41 AM
Dating sites are like shopping ................ you spot something you like and then find something better on special .......... only to consider if it is what you really want or feel like at the time ............ but sometimes you cannot make an exchange after too long so people just take back the purchase and get a refund or exchange it for another model.

Personally ............ I am - AS IS - slightly dented and a good model.
 likes_a_laugh
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 21
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 6:43:45 AM
Aww shucks Lacry...

I agree that the forums are where you can let some of it hang out and people get to see if you can string a sentence together and what things get your juices flowing...so to speak.

If you're a genuine person then it's a bit scary at first, but can be quite liberating. If your a mind-bending bullsh1tter then, well, what goes around comes around...

G'nite kiddies..
 Lacrymosa
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 22
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 7:11:28 AM
Good night likesa.....sleep well...

Hammers out another couple of dints......and
 ~Pedro Sanchez~
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 23
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 4:37:57 PM
These mind games...so juvenile, cute but only for 90 seconds....any longer and it takes two to tango. As they say, you allow yourself to be treated the way you want to be treated. My advise, and this is coming from that dog expert Cesar Milan, is to immediately ignore it, the moment they show signs of self-centredness...smile...shake head twice....and make Skippy noises....tsk...tsk..tsk....

Usually when you don't play, they get tired of playing on their own....

Just go "buh-bye"[in the tone of Jack Black] or "Haa-Haa" [from that Simpsons character, Ralph]

My answer is John Lennon for Mind Games and Sonny & Cher/ UB40 for I Got You Babe
 jewels1961
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 24
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:04:52 PM
LOL I like father Pedros answers...but anyway


If the guys/gals are no longer interested and they are too gutless to say perhaps it would be kinder to send an email. That is the chickens way out isn't it?

I have an ex who signed up on a dating site in search of "something better" (as if he could do better than me lol) two weeks before we broke up. So to me he was gutless and hurtful. There was no need to do that he could have said something earlier. His excuse....just looking for friends to chat to! LMAO and had his status as looking for romance/long term..LOL Stupid man.

Tell your friends to move on, get away from the situation that will end in tears. Why do they stay if they know the mind games are going on?

I don't know why they play these games, I'm not into them myself. Just thoughtless and selfish I suppose.
 ~Pedro Sanchez~
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 25
mind games/I got you babe
Posted: 6/27/2007 9:56:47 PM
^^^ Why, thank you jewels1961!

In truth, this pursuit for someone better is an exercise in futility....there is always someone better...bigger...can do a better tiramisu....have a nicer fluffier panetonne...it is far more rewarding to not have a long drawn out criteria and expect nothing....but in saying that, one must have a minimum standard. Like for me, my minimum is no tinea for example....I can't live with that. I like prancing around the house barefoot.....oh no...never...say it ain't so....no tinea for me.

I think we all need to be like children again...see the good and the beauty in people...but only after meeting the minimum. As a general rule of thumb, minimum criteria for blokes is that they must not be an ass (ok, not contacted anybody for "Intimate Encounters"...that's half of the PoF competition ruled out alweady)...for women, must not be a b1tch on switch. Now that minimum bar needs to be differentiated to the ideal bar....its not interchangeable...
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