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 AUTHOR
 Stargazer46
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 1
Calling all 40-60Something Males?Page 1 of 62    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Dear Forty, Fifty, and SixtySomething Guys,

Recently a 63 year old gentleman and i were sharing experiences in this "middle-aged and seriously seeking" stage of our lives. He has been twice married and divorced now for 14 years. Among other things, he said:

"You don't even look 40, and you sure have the physical fiitness of a 30 year old. But the fact is that you're 53. And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age. It doesn't matter if she is well educated, very physically fit, or even financially secure. She could be wonderful company and very beautiful. If so, a man over 45 might have a short term relationship with her. But if she's over 45, he will rarely consider having a serious long term relationship with her."

As someone who has spent the past 2 years without a long term love, i'd appreciate any comments -- based upon your own experience as a 40, 50, or 60 year old guy who knows he can give and receive romantic love and who is hoping to find it. Do your own actions illustrate the above statement as "mostly valid."? Should women in my st/age of life face "reality" and accept that our chronological age matters more to most men our own age than our physical fitness and all of the other things that we feel we have to offer Mr. Right?

Thanks
 Forum Girl
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 2
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:07:23 PM
Great ?? Interested in hearing responses to this as well. I have the same experience. When I'm out and about I get a lot of "thirty somethings" approach me as I look very young for my age. But I'd prefere a "fourty something" like myself. When I adverstise that I am in my 40's the men my own age run like the wind.....What IS up with that?? Just one reason I gave up actually trying to meet someone here.
 Suthn_Boy
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 3
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:08:28 PM
Absolutely an invalid theory. Complete balderdash!

It just doesn't matter a lick what it says on your drivers license. It's about who you are and how you present yourself. And I don't mean what age you present yourself as. Someone 53 can be a lot more fetching than someone 35 or 40, and they often are.

There's a tendency to let oneself go, over 50 or even over 40, in many cases. That can be a problem of course. But the numbers themselves count for nothing.

Not to worry. Your time is still to come. Be patient. Impatience is a deal-killer. A little extra time only makes the end-result better. In the meantime, toss all opinions like that one in the round file.. Cause it just ain't so!

-Suthn_Boy

 sweetnsassy1953
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 4
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:10:09 PM
Not a guy, lol, but I don't know what this one was talking about. I'm your age, a little larger, probably not is as good physical shape, but I've had offers from guys from 38-58.... I'm currently getting to know a very nice 45 year old. I think this guy must be speaking for himself. Personally, and I don't mean to sound mean, a 63 year would not appeal to me anyway, 'specially with an attitude like that. I like men young at heart, with a little bounce in their step, and as long as I feel comfortable with them and attracted to them, age doesn't make a lot of difference.

 Forum Girl
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 5
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:11:10 PM
Suthn _boy I could be wrong but I think you missed the point....hmmm.
 smartarsch
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 6
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:12:04 PM
Again, broad sweeping generalizations are not appropriate here. I've dated women my own age, enjoyed it immensely, as women older and younger. She's attractive in my eyes, I'm dating here, for age is only a number.

But I'm sure there are lots of men out there who are looking for younger women, and may only feel comfortable with them in that they will somehow reinforce their feelings of lost youth.
 Suthn_Boy
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 7
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:17:32 PM
I don't think so Forum_Girl.

But I'd certainly be very open to further examination of the topic, if your viewpoint differs from mine. I don't see how it could be misunderstood though. It was put in very clear terms, seems to me.

-Suthn_Boy

 pfh210
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 8
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:19:01 PM
hes full of u know what,,,,,,,a babe is a babe is a babe,,,,,or maybe I should say woman my age are attractive , and its only a number,,,,,,,so he dosent know everything,,,good luck paul
 Ls1
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 9
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:22:51 PM
I think woman around my age or a little older are actually more fun, they know what they want, there kids are independant and I have more in common with them.
Just take care of yourself, keep that young attitude and yep.......your a keeper.

Your not really 53 are you stargazer.....cause you don't look it.
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 10
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:23:29 PM
Chronologically 40, best shape of my life (at the gym usually 6-7 days a week, if you don't believe me come along its an easy place to find), physically feel no different than 16, mentally a hell of a lot smarter than I was even ten years ago.

I don't bother looking at a person's age, but I do know there are a ton of cougars out there not interested in dating men their own age which is cool, because old men have been chasing young girls forever and I figure turn about is fair play.

I don't date. Not worth the time hassle effort and so on. Not at this point. Like a friend of mine tried to tell me years ago and he was an older gentlemen..."The older you get, you will realize you CAN live without them".

Age is all in one's head anyhow.

Cheers!
 SOUL AND HEART
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 11
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:23:47 PM
I'm a male in my mid forties. I don't care if a woman is 10 years older or 10 years younger than me, as long as she looks good, has a youthful vitality, has a good head on her shoulders, and can participate in things right along with me, like tennis and hiking etc.
But having said that, I've always dated and had relationships with people around 10 years younger than me, probably because I don't act or feel my age.
I've seen people who are 35 who look and feel like they're 48. I've seen people who are 50 who look and have the vitality of a 28 year old.
My guess is you'll end up with the person who suits you the best - regardless of age.
Birds of a feather.
 jesslurkin
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 12
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:24:15 PM
I'm 48, and personally would feel fine with a woman within about 7 years of my own age, either way. While I might get on all right with a younger woman, I suspect someone my own age would be better for me... Guys who specialize in only younger women are missing out on a lot of wisdom. I know myself, I am much more likely to be a decent partner than I was years ago. The hot temper has cooled, the opinions aren't so important, and I figured out I'm not God, and everything isn't all about me. These last points are vital to a lasting relationship.

I don't know about other guys... I would think that if the right woman comes along, to most guys the age would be a secondary consideration... If they have any sense.
 SilentStream
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 13
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:27:18 PM
middle aged CRAZY! are the 40ish,50ish,60ish an so on until we become that clinical crazy ;) ... be dammed if we do,be damned even more if we don't !

Women at your stage of life should be just as YOU are,do as you damn well please,and if that is finding something you think your missing,well so be it! but for You to even give a second thought to what a 40ish,50ish,hell even a 60ish male says to you? *GIVE YOUR HEAD* a shake! THE only time the *AGE* matters is when You/or him allow it to happen,shallow waters are frequent abnormalities in life,on this site and part of everyday life...

Always look at the stars! always gaze! always Be just Yourself! no matter what anyone tells you,YOU have to trust in YOU,beleive in YOU and be,just Be YOU!
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 14
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History
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:30:38 PM
Stargazer, sadly, your friend is somewhat right. I am 51 and my single male friends range in age from 40 to 61. Many of them look and try to talk to women 20 years younger than themselves. They would not even consider a beautiful woman like yourself. You would probably not want them anyways. They feel threatened by a woman who speaks her mind. Thankfully, there are many of us looking for a partner similar in age and experience to us.

P.S.--I looked at your profile. If I found a woman my age who liked George Thorogood, I would be on Cloud 9.
 Janet4now
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 15
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:34:33 PM
Well, ToeNailclippings has a point... I can't tell how many emails I get from men 10 plus years my senior claiming to look much younger... and I'm sure they are quite convinced of it.

We all look in the mirror -- and damn we look just as good as we did 5-10 years ago -- but geez... not really. You just get used to what "old looks like" and now it don't look so old anymore.

But as far as your question, there are plenty of men looking for women close to their own age.... I haven't noticed any particular shortage in the over 40 crowd.

I think this "gentleman friend" wanted you to dismiss the pond and look in his age range -- if you know what I mean
 oky man
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 16
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:35:19 PM
as of me i wont date someone thats twenty years younger than i love the mature woman and thats what and whom i shall be with
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 17
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 3:50:03 PM
OP - I reread your post three times and while I think I get what you are saying - What are you saying? Women over 45 cannot find a man on POF or what? Is that it?

Attractive women over age 45 could easily find a man on POF -- IF they are not grossly over weight and IF they will correspond with a man (both initiate and respond to contact), AND if the woman will follow through with Telephone Conversation and a first meeting.

Far too man POF women do little or none of the above (from my experience).

I find that far too many women on POF have TWO Sentences describing themselves - THAT WON'T DO. Far too many POF women have no photo ---- THAT WON'T DO. Far too many women on POF have photos posted that were taken about 100 feet from the lens - that won't do.

If a POF woman says little to nothing about herself, if she has no photo or photo that are totally inadequate, or she piddles around with one line responses to contacts and basically refuses to get on the phone ---- NO - no woman of any age will find a man on POF.

Oh - I forgot - the women who basically rule out a guy if he lives more than 10 miles away.

And - then there are the women (who have little to offer in looks or personality) but still demand that ASSETS be shown in the man's POF profile.

Regardless of age - A woman on POF who wants to find a man has to do more than SHOW UP AS FEMALE.

Joe
 Forum Girl
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 18
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:05:40 PM
klugarsch - You hit the nail on the head!!!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 19
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:08:34 PM
"And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age. " This is one email from an older guy than you holding himself out as an expert on men. This bird won't date a woman 10 years younger, even 18 years younger, so what does that tell you about him?
Don't take this bullhockey seriously for one second! This one will likely be a permanent member here as there's not many under 40 that would date a 63 y/o bugger with that gnarly an attitude.
I'd put this email where it belongs, in the garbage and not think another second about it!!
EDIT: Listen to the very smart guy who posted after me!!
 Sierrasman
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 20
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:08:41 PM
I think that guy is missing something. Chronological age is irrelevant, whether it be a man or woman. What matters is the person. We all age differently and take care of ourselves differently, so age really isn't a factor. I have seen some beautiful, fit women in their 50's and 60's who I think any guy in that age bracket should be proud to have on his arm. I look for women closer to my own age because I will have much more in common with them than someone much younger. So don't give up Stargazer46 and all of you lovely mature women out there. There are mature men (is that an oxymoron?) out there who are just waiting for you. It's just a matter of finding the right match. I know, that's the hard part.
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 21
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:11:42 PM
I dont get it either. Especially older is need to share too many things in life to narrow things down to just one or two issues.

I want a woman who would share everything with me. Not just one or two things. I dont need a bed partner I need a life partner.

Its all a question of who is a good fit for me and who I am a good fit for.
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 22
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:34:55 PM
I know your asking to hear from 40-60 something males but I know exactly what you mean and I have something to say. I met a guy a couple of months ago at work. Did not think of him as dating material, he asked me to eat lunch with him so why not. Hey it's just lunch. We talked found out we had lot's in common everything was going so well. He asked me for my # and email so I gave it to him. And then I happen to mention I turned 50 this year. He said wow your 50 I thought you were 40 and I never heard from him....And trust me I'm in better shape then him. I think age does matter to some, hopefully not all. I do want someone my age.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 23
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:09:39 PM
Star - I can tell you that this fella is thinking with the Little Head, chances are he's a "player" and I'm not talking Monopoly here. Ooops, perhaps he's Monopolizing the Flavor of the Month Club.

You'll find people are insecure about age, looks, money, etc. and try to lump ALL of us into one box. Guess what? We don't fit in one, nice neat, little box. I'm 51 years young, I'd probably attract more men (initially) if I were thinner, and perhaps had bigger hair. Reality, is what we make of the situation. Each and every one of us on POF are getting older (year wise) by the minute.

What matters to prospective partners is that we make the best of what we have, take care of ourselves (emotionally, physically, spiritually), and for heaven's sake, DON'T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUS! The real "us" seek a partner who will "enhance" us, not "make us".

Oh, and when some moron wants to say "you look good for your age", geez, I'd like to give them an old fashioned ass kicking. I didn't know that there is a specific way that people over the age of 35 are suppose to look!
 Ls1
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 24
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:16:57 PM
Oh, and when some moron wants to say "you look good for your age", geez, I'd like to give them an old fashioned ass kicking. I didn't know that there is a specific way that people over the age of 35 are suppose to look!


Now why did you have to go and say a thing like that......
I think she's cute and paid her a compliment and now your all jealous..... ksue44
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 25
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:26:23 PM
Why would a 63-year-old man knock a woman 10 years younger, who looks over 20 years younger, and has the fitness of 30 years younger?
He wants you, but does not want to be committed to you, because he knows you can do better, and you will be unlikely to stay unless he changes his misogynistic and self-centred ways. So he wants to sleep with you, but not be committed to you, and you are only looking for long-term (I checked your profile). So he you, and you don't want him. So he insults you to make himself feel better.

This is no different than the young man who approaches a young, attractive woman, asks her out, she says she's not attracted to him, and so he calls her a lesbian, to boost his ego.

It's a crock of garbage. In fact, most 45-year-old men would be unlikely to pursue a relationship with someone much younger because of the differences in interests and values. So it's the other way around. Also, given how youthful you look and are, you would be more likely to get a 35-year-old man who's already had kids interested in you for long-term.

Just remember:
No-one ever kicks a dead dog.
from Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
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