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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 6
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

ok ya have too keep in mind here, that probaly about 80% of the people on here are either married or involved in some sort of relationship,

and they can't meet, cause then they would be busted, then ya got some that just want too tease people and have no plans of meeting people off of here at all,

witch in turn, makes it harder for the people on here that are for real.


TOTALLY AGREE!!!! I couldn't have said it any better!!!! only the percentage is much greater than 8o%........more like ...99.9% of guys in places like this either only want to chat about sex or meet for sex.. they don't want to have a relationship with someone that means meeting someone more than once if you get to meet them at all. If you get to meet someone, most of the time they will chat long enough to be sure they are going to 'get some' as soon as they meet you.. Some guys may even be decent enough wait until your coffee is done to ask because asking before meeting isn't going to convince anyone to meet them. If they feed you coffee/drink/dinner/movie they may have better luck convincing you to give them what they wanted to meet you for in the first place. If someone actually contacts me first, I can bet my life he is married.
 Benjamin7
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 8
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:18:50 PM
I don't know about 80% being married or already attached. I think many here are looking for a "Knight in Shining Armor" or a breathe-taking model. Fantasy people. The good, sincere people get lost in the mix. If one expects to find perfection here, they are going to be disappointed.

DawnMarie. You are very attractive. Wish you were in Oklahoma City. I would love to meet you.
 Benjamin7
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 10
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:36:06 PM
Maybe some are being over cautious about actually meeting someone over the internet. They really shouldn't be on the sight to begin with. But, what do I know.....I can't even find anyone who wants to meet me....much less back out at the last minute....
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 11
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History
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 6:37:51 PM
I have met one woman thru POF, but most women i have chatted with were no shows. I would not be on this site if i did not want to meet anyone. I just thought the same of the other members. I guess i was wrong.
 LMK45
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 13
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 7:00:59 PM
I hate to disagree, but I have met in person some wonderful men and chatted with quite a few others. They have been articulate and fun and serious and sincere and all the attributes you could ask for. Some were not in my age group, or they lived too far away, but I have not been disappointed so far with the quality of men on here.
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 14
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 7:03:09 PM
Hmmm - this sounds really strange to me. I have met a number of ladies. Sure, they may not be "matches", but I usually have a good time talking, laughing, etc. I have gotten out a number of times and had some nice dinners, gone for iced tea/coffee, a drink, a local Jazz Festival, movies, to a local pound and 'adoption agency' looking for kittens, to a park to feed squirrels... whatever!

I think you have just had a string of bad luck. Hang in there, it may take a while, but enjoy the process!
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 22
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 9:32:16 PM
Hey - if I were in your age range - I'd drive all the way to Plano from Fort Worth to meet you.

If you are seeking young guys - they will play and play and you will often be disappointed.

Guys in the 43 to 48 y.o.a. group should be bombarding you with email.

It all depends upon who you are seeking - who you rule in and who you rule out.

Joe
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 28
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History
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/6/2007 11:10:30 PM
I find on this site there's more interest in meeting for sex and that's it....I'm on a 'pay' site and I've met several from there. The whole thought process and such is different...I find it much more effective and the deadwood just isn't there to the same level as here.

On this site it's fun for a chat and to talk on the forums. I've had a great time meeting people from all over and I have so many forum faves...you just have to be open and roll with it.
 beerchen
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 30
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History
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 4:30:12 AM
Dawn,

i have run into the same situations.
Men who will talk about wanting to meet you and then.. they chicken out.

Are there still men out there who will stand for their word, who will do what they said they would?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 34
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 6:47:38 AM
Dawn Marie, no, you are not unattractive, and maybe that is the problem. Perhaps men are intimidated by you. The only man who didn't meet me (after expressing great interest) told me that he didn't want to become "another victim" on my "refuse heap" of rejected suitors whom I had met.

Beyond that one guy, I haven't had a problem with men not wanting to meet me, but I can guess as to why some men are reticent.

1. They are married and dating venues are places to flirt and maybe see boobes on a webcam.

2. They have misrepresented themselves on their profiles and know that a face to face meeting would blow the image that they present. Some people live vicariously--they do it chat rooms and they do it on dating sites. The Internet is a place where you can be anyone whom you want to be--as long as you stay online and don't venture into the real world.

Keep at it, real men will step up to the plate.


I would rather spend a month or two getting to know a woman online and over the phone, no physical distractions, and its a great way to find out if our personalities gel.


There is no way I would chat with a man for a month or two in emails or on the phone. I want to meet NOW because personal energy tells me more about a person than the written or spoken word can. In addition, personalities could gel and the physical attraction could still be "yuck."
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 38
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 7:07:54 AM

Well i will tell all you ladies this you are limmiting yourselves to a possible nice guy by limitting your contacts


Don't assume that a woman doesn't answer or want to meet you because of the "limitations" that she puts on her profile. It might be a very polite way of saying, "I checked you out; I don't like your looks/spelling/grammar/what you say in general."



i am not that closed mined to see someone as a bad match because they want to meet anyone for any reason


I THINK that you are saying you will meet anyone who wants to meet you, but I could be wrong. Why waste time on someone who is obviously not a good match?



A guy that is all looks and body and that loves himself more than anyone else and no brains and not time to spend with you because he is either working out or admiring himself in a mirror.


Shallow as it may be, I want a guy who takes care of himself. If he doesn't like to look in a mirror at himself, why would I want to look at him? And if I don't want to look at him, why the hell should I have sex with him?



But i know not all women are like that thankfully


And all women who don't agree with you are just plain wrong, aren't they?

In just reading over the profiles on this forum alone, I can see why many women would not want to meet many of the male posters. Multiply that to the nth degree in reading the profiles of a plethora of other men. Emails rarely reflect anything other than the profile, more's the pity.
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 40
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 7:15:01 AM
Java123

I am also fairly new to this but it seems to me if you don't have your photo on there no one wants to know. Whatever happened to a little mystery

I'll use the "fish" alliterations here:
When you are fishing, you need bait to attract fish. Not many fish will nibble upon an empty hook.

Gwendolynn2006

Don't assume that a woman doesn't answer or want to meet you because of the "limitations" that she puts on her profile. It might be a very polite way of saying, "I checked you out; I don't like your looks/spelling/grammar/what you say in general."

If you have a bunch of limitations on your profile, people cannot even send you a message.

The profiles I laugh at have a 2 line description "about me" and a list of limitations that is far longer than their description. I often wonder why these people even bother.
As far as the restrictions, I have only a smoking restriction. I know that I can make a decision to say no to people based upon each individual.

I have written to people who listed "intimate encounter" as their intent. This does not mean I was seeking an intimate encounter; I have contacted a number of people from the forums. I have contacted men; this does NOT mean I am looking to date them. (One had a car that impressed me, for example.) Now I am unable to contact anyone with the "intimate encounter messaging" block.

My thoughts are that this is their loss, not mine. I believe that I am a decent guy. I think that the ladies I have met will validate this. If you choose not to talk with me because of who I have spoken with, I feel that this represents a narrow-minded attitude. (We will probably not get along anyway.)

Let me step down off my soapbox now!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 41
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Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 7:20:58 AM
Time and distance can make or break a potential relationship.......

Many on here enjoy the banter, flirting, open discussion, and all that goes with it, but will not take it to the next step unless everything else fits in their universe.

I have stated many times on this site that if you really want to meet, then you make it happen as soon as possible. Email on here, take it to your personal email account, messenger, cam, phone, and meet.

All of this sounds so good if both are committed to doing it, and one of the biggest problems from making a potential relationship a reality is distance. Both need to talk and understand what your distance limits are for a real relationship and what and how you can do to make a go of it.

Just my opinion......
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 43
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 10:12:51 AM
1Fish2Fish,

While it is true that limitations such as smoking and drinking preferences will keep someone from emailing another person, many people also list limitations in their profile blurbs. A lot of those preferences are laughable, i.e. the 300 pound man who wants to meet "slim, attractive women," or the 60 year old man who wants to meet 21 year old women.

By the way, you have more lrestrictions than just smoking. I read your earlier post and was going to comment on it in an email, but I am over 53 and forbidden to contact you.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 45
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Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 12:09:10 PM
In regards to Benjamin7:

I think many here are looking for a "Knight in Shining Armor" or a breathe-taking model. Fantasy people. The good, sincere people get lost in the mix. If one expects to find perfection here, they are going to be disappointed.

I don't think ALL of us are looking for a "Knight in Shining Armor", some perhaps, yes, both men and women may fall under that category; but for the rest of us, I know I'm just looking for someone who I get along with, have mutual chemistry, mutual attraction, and wouldn't mind spending my future with.

I'm not "picky" on what he looks like per say, the Short/Tall, average weight/skinny/few extra pounds, blond/brown/black/graying hair, none of that at all.... Just that we have things in common, get along, and can communicate and relate to each other.

As for the Breath-taking model? Well we all have our own tastes, so it's all up to that person's individuality...

As far as meeting? I've met a couple people off of here, and several from a different site. Met a few guys and gals that became some really good friends, and met a couple of guys who were proficient at Lying-101... (and I'm sure some ladies fit that bill as well for you guys.)

I like the site, as it gives an opportunity to meet people that you otherwise wouldn't have the ability to meet from your own area. Who knows, you may meet the person you have always wanted 2000 miles away, and never would have known...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 Isispriest
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 46
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 12:17:05 PM
I try to meet someone I have shared a couple messages with right away. Just for coffee or a walk in the afternoon, is best. That way you can get out of there if you don't connect. I have had a lot of "just meets", and that was it. I don't think you can assess personal attraction and chemistry without meeting. It has to do with the phernomes and eye contact. But as my Profile indicates I am far from a normal guy, so I find it tricky finding someone on the same wavelength. IM is a big waste of time, in my opinion, unless the relationship is long distance.

There was the woman I chatted with for a week. We seemed to hit it off so I went to visit her, about a 2 hr drive away. She was most gracious. Offered me a cider at 1pm & she had one, then she had another, then it was time to go pick someone up & she puts cider in a water bottle for the drive! Hey I haven't drank & drove since 1974. This woman was drinking while driving! A total alcoholic! Funny she never mentioned that. We ended up having a BBQ for some of her friends & kids. I did the BBQ & shopping. She drank & cooked onions. I got out of there.

The moral of the story is: You do not know who you are dealing with by communicating on-line! As a fellow with some other websites I get messages from 20 to 30 something attractive women in Ghana and Russia all the time professing their love for me! They are lying scammers and I have learned they are not young women at all but rather 40 yr old men with hairy backs and some photos of cute girls.

If IM and weeks of e-mails are what the guy prefers to do and they are in your area, then they are lying about something important.
Good Luck
David Z

 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 47
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 12:18:54 PM
Gwendolyn2006,
Ah, I was not aware of that under 53 restriction. Well, I guess that's easy to fix! (I hate it when I am a hypocrite!)
OK, now it's non-smokers. Oh, and you have to live under 20,000 miles away!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 49
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 3:12:51 PM
Re: Profiles.

Most people don't know how to write well; they are inept and uncomfortable at expressing themselves in written form. This is reflected in the plethora of profiles that each one of us peruse. To some, it doesn't matter much, but to those of us who have a deep and abiding passion for writing and expressing ourselves succinctly--it matters.

It also matters when someone is a bit creative. To read 12 profiles that all read like a lesson from a primer on "How to Write Profiles," it is boring as hell. Nothing will catch my attention faster than a well written, creative, humorous profile. Even if there is no picture or the guy isn't an Adonis, I will usually send an email commenting on such a profile. It doesn't mean that I want to have a romantic relationship with the man, but at least he stands out.

Of course, I have been disappointed on meeting a couple of these men in real life. Especially when I find out they lied about their height, age, or some other factor. Even creativity can't cover that.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 53
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/7/2007 9:44:33 PM
"They even apologize for not calling and then still don't call"

Yes - amazing isn't it.

As far as I am concerned - No phone conversation -- no meeting. I'm not going to go 25 miles to meet for coffee or even dinner based upon an email message or even a series of messages - having never talked on the phone.

And it doesn't matter if we have 'talked' via POF email for 10 days or two weeks.

Normal progress is (as far as I am concerned) is email messages - interaction on POF and then in some reasonable time frame less than two weeks -- a couple of phone 'talks' and set up the date.

In absence of that - FORGET ABOUT IT!

Joe
 iamasiam
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 62
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History
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/8/2007 9:48:49 AM
One of the disadvanteages with free sites maybe that more people are more likely to piss around and less wanting to get things done. Where as on a paying site, time costs money, less time for messing people around.

Also one of the biggest factors that appears in a few posts is around the condition of FEAR of some sort.
 misticspear
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 69
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 7/11/2007 11:14:38 PM
Not the people who are here for ego boost and there are a lot of them
 kywindwalker
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 81
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Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 11/14/2007 6:27:30 PM
have talked to a few that i enjoyed meeting...but for one reason or another things didn'e work out...have talk to a couple i would have loved to have met but for some reason we never did...mostly distance...hope someday to meet somone that the stars will aline and things fall into place and the sun will shine again...lol
 bhcpp
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 82
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 11/14/2007 6:40:02 PM
I have the same problem. I came here to meet someone not to be an
e-mail buddy.
 Joan38
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 87
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 11/16/2007 7:45:26 PM
I am glad I am not the only one feeling this way. There are so many men on here for ......................I haven't figured that one out. I am too am new to web dating and am finding it is not of much use. You seem to get contacted by the guys who are between jobs for 2 years!!!! :-) They don't really want to meet. I haven't figured out the psychological game yet. Give me time.........I am attractive, educated, articulate, and maybe that is what scares men worth having away. If they were worth having though they wouldn't be intimidated by me though?????

Just glad I am not the same woman feeling waht you are Dawn Marie!
 kywindwalker
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 89
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History
Doesn't anyone REALLY want to meet?
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:26:44 PM
migivadam...sorry but not everone on here is just looking for sex...some of us really do want a real relationship...but i am begaining to think woman on here dont
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