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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!      Home login  
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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
The problem as I see it with "just getting sex" is that I haven't seen anybody in years that I would want to have sex with

No seriously! All the single men I meet that are my age I am either not attracted to, or the have an alcohol problem or something equivilent. I would rather wait for a decent man than just get sex. Flame me if you want, but "just getting sex" isn't for me
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 5
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 9:46:18 AM
..Oh I hope I don't come off sounding holier than thou but before I would even consider having sex with someone I would have to feel some sort of emotional attachment. I joke around in the forums a lot but if truth be known, I'm a pretty tame lady. My morals and upbringing would not permit me to have casual sex with just anyone. He11, I could probably count on one hand the people I have been intimate with over the years and still have some left over. Please understand, I am not judging anyone... but for me that would be stepping out of my comfort zone.


...maeflowers
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 6
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:22:47 AM
I always say something like "you need to know that I don't do casual sex before we meet for coffee". A few times men have asked me to go from meeting for coffee, to going to the cottage for the weekend. There will always be the person who thinks they are just to cute to resist
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 7
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:27:50 AM

I've heard, (and experienced) that after 7yrs it grows back.



...I almost spit my coffee all over my keyboard when I read this...your a hoot, loves some of your responses....it grows back haha


...maeflowers
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 10
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:21:13 PM
Redefining virginity cause you've been alone too long? Hmmmm, I wonder if the reason women are measured as communicating more is that in redefining terms it's more difficult to insure accuracy.....

If you ever got laid, you're virginity is gone.

Spouting about sex again eh? I think by talking about the conditions you would not find 'sexy' over and over again you are actually talking about sex more than the 'disgusting' types you disapprove of.

Maybe by paying attention to subjects other than sex of self promotion you could actually display an interest other than talking/thinking about one thing.

Though the neighbor's suggestion to just get 'some' could be crass and tasteless, what is it he thought it might fix?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 12
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/30/2007 6:21:50 PM
Girlflower
I read the first post and my initial reaction was to say for you to ask your neighbor just who died and elected him Dr Ruth?( Remember her?)
Then I read your latest post and it reminded me that men, for the most part, are simple creatures(and I mean that as a compliment!) Wouldn't it be GREAT if I could just go out and tear off a piece when I was feeling frisky?? Guys can do that. So can some women. More power to 'em. Doesn't work for me. Doesn't sound like it works for a lot of other people here, either.
You mentioned that your friend/neighor wants to see you happy. Bless his heart, would he KNOW what happy looked like if he saw it??
Cindy O
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 14
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:33:11 AM
Has anyone heard just what the "timeline" is to achieve Born Again status?????? Ha!

I havn't, so I can't say if I qualify. But I do get this.

I don not totally aggree with the iron clad attitudes that I see so prevelant in the mature women. Both in their profiles and then here on the forum comments.

Its not that I don't think they should have their values, boundaries, preferences, criterias, morals and all that. Of course they should. (shouldn't we all??) Its just that I see a kind of over the top, stern white knuckle approach to this. (sticking to their rules). As for me, I am not all that different... and prone to all the same kinds of self-imposed traps and stockades and dead-end canyons. I do it too. However, I still try and leave that small escape route open. While it is good to adhere to our values.... I think we should never rule out completely the option of true sponteniety. (that is a lot different than compulsion or impulse) And, oh, by the way..... you women havn't fooled me. This ability to experience pleasure in (so-called) spontaneous sexual encounters is not just a "man thing". ha ha.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 16
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:34:52 PM
Its just that I see a kind of over the top, stern white knuckle approach to this. (sticking to their rules).

Well my position is that if they are MY rules, I can sure as hell break them if it suits me to do so. But generally speaking, I have sex early on in an involvement ONLY if it doesn't matter that much to me if that's all he was after and he disappears. I don't do re runs, if a guy pulls a bump and dump on me that's it, no hard feelings guy but don't come sniffin' around in a few months tellin' me you want a second chance, or you "made a mistake". ( yeah you did. Pardon me if I refuse to participate in a repeat of your original mistake. Either you weren't all that damn good or you were good but a repeat would be like going back for a 2nd test drive on a car I'm really impressed with but know I can't buy-pointless!)
Cindy O
 afred549
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 19
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:56:28 AM

just have to keep looking... and trusting my instincts as who is right for me and who is wrong for me.. afterall I'm 58 I should know what curls my hair by now... right!

Sounds like you know what your doing...I think we all know when the time is right....here's a funny


CONNECTING WITH THE VILLAGER

Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in The Villages, in Florida ..

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they
enjoyed each other's company. After several weeks of meeting for
coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she
accepted.

They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic
restaurant in town. Despite his age, they ended up at his place for an
after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age
being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll
in the hay.

As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared,
each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.....

Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler."

Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 20
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/12/2007 4:52:48 AM
no friends with benefits for me..been asked a few times..always reply..no thanks..
no future in that kind of relationship and it's just not worththe effort with someone I wouldn't consider relationship material..
dusty
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 21
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/15/2007 12:00:57 AM
Dont worry.. hang on to your morals... I feel sex for men (ok... some men, well most men) is just a physical act, they do it because it feels good and there is no emotion or affection involved... and for most women it has to be meaningful, with someone they care about, are attracted to, are excited by... etc.

After leaving a very physical relationship it takes about six weeks to not want sex all the time... after six weeks your brain, body and heart find other things to do.. you may start a project, or work harder at work, organize your house... start volunteering.. or something that gives meaning...

To have sex just to have sex is risky, you dont know if that person has diseases, spouse/sig other.. or is violent, or a criminal... nobody is actually safe just having sex these days, there are some real freaks and bad people out there.

If a man dates a woman and doesnt have the maturity to wait until she feels the time is right, all he cares about is getting some, then there is no big loss, he is not worth knowing... I would rather be able to say to the next man I sleep with that I saved myself for him... nobody wants to date a who*e, well they may want to date them.. but not be in a relationship...
JMO

BL
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 22
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:28:14 PM
I got my Certificate from the State a couple years ago . . !!!
Sex...just for the sake of Sex . . can be satisfied at most local Bars . . !
I don't go in for 1- nighters . . unless she's _Really_ local . . !
I'm looking for something Substantial . . that has some form of attachment to it . .
A Partnership, if you will, that makes the Sexual part of it a Bonding of sorts . .
nine-by-two
...an exchange of Genuine Feelings toward each other . . !
Still looking for that elusive Lady that sees things the Same Way . . !!! . .
****
'flower' . . . Let's Talk . . !! . . ?? . . *HUG*
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 23
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:42:27 PM
I thought _I_ did, Too . . in '98 . . just after my wife passed . . !!!
That's also when I created my Name . . !!!

. . . .
 lizzyO
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 24
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:27:13 AM
Wow, reading these posts makes me feel a bit sad. As for me, I don't intend to have sex until I am married. Yup, that's right until I am married. If I never get married, I will never have sex. Did someone just faint? According to scripture both old and new testament, to have sex outside of marriage is to also lock yourself out of God's best for you. Yes, I know, some marriages don't work, people get divorced, there is abuse so many arguments why it is better to go ahead and have sex out of marriage than to wait. My only argument for not having sex outside of marriage is because God says so and to do otherwise is to risk losing my immortal soul and ending up in Hell when I die. Yes I do believe this, really. I am intelligent, capable women with a Master's degree living in the 21st century and I do believe this and know lots of intelligent, beautfful women who believe this too. Before you boo hoo me, consider this, God loves us and wants the best for us. He says "no sex outside of marriage" beause He knows it is not really good for us spiritually (the loss of our souls) emotionally (broken hearts and heardend hearts), mentally (sexual addiction), and physically (all kinds of diseases that can even lead to death like HPV, AIDS, HIV and HEP C to name a few). For you Catholics out there, and I am appalled by how many people claim to be Catholic and don't even know what that means, pick up your catechism and see what it says on the subject, or better yet, get a copy of Christopher West's book on The Theology of the Body and read it. For those of you in the Boston are, St. Clemenr's Shrine on Boyalston street will be doing a weekly series on The Theology of The Body (viewing human sexuality and the sacredness of male/female identity and relations from God's point of view) on Sunday morning at 9:30. The talks being September 30 and go for I think 8 weeks. The Shrine is on Boyalston street, after the Prudentail building, cross over Mass Ave. At any rate check it out. God's love is far better and far more certain than thing a man can provide.
 Donnchadh
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 25
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:18:31 PM
The last few years of my marriage were loveless, and I haven't met anyone since my divorce in 2005. So I am in serious danger of completely forgetting what sex was all about ;-) and becoming a virgin again.

Oh well.

Donnchadh
 TylerD83
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 26
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:35:20 PM
A virgin at 45? I've met them. As it turns out, I was a catalyst for a few. Once they grew to appreciate sex for the mental, physical and emotional benefits it brings, they were to be polite, bedroom sluts. We still get along great.
Where is everyone getting this prudish attitude from?
Use or be used? Thats a terrible way to look at sex.
Maybe I am different, I do tend to the womans needs first..so "she gets hers, before I get mine". And perhaps that is the beginning of this quandry. Most are selfish. I am not.
I've looked at biology relating to sex, and it turns out that it is mandatory among every race, or there is no Race.
Not having sex is un-natural. Yes Girlflower, you may remain celebate the rest of your life till the perfect stranger appears. And I'm sure you will. For me, I'm headed out with your neighbor friend join the Race, and you are welcome to come along.
Have a nice orgasm..
 TylerD83
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 27
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:36:35 PM
What he said.. and if we are all in agreement.. lets retire to the bedroom..
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 29
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:37:04 PM
Sad to say, I'd suspect anyone in this forum already has a low opinion of themselves.

They say that whatever you may want to do to a goat, you can find friends into in on the web, but I must confess stumbling upon this topic was more depressing than comforting.

It's been a bad day.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 30
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/6/2008 4:57:03 AM
the true B.A.V. is an arachnid..ok a female spider who kills the male after mating..then becomes a virgin once again.
I think this topic masks other problems in your life, who the h3ll cares if you are a virgin? All I care is that I'm the last..
what happened to all the normal, happy content folks? I'm sorry but this has to be the silliest forum topic yet.
dusty
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 31
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:26:48 PM
I don't see anything wrong with casual sex between consenting adults, as long as both are being responsible and know what they are getting out of it. I don't feel superior because I don't normally do it, I feel like I should live my life (and sex life) the way I choose and not to let others sway me. I think your neighbor was rude and maybe trying to get him some LOL but who cares, if you don't like casual sex, don't do it.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 32
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:00:49 AM
amen barra..
SEND IN THE VIRGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can I be a gladiater? ummm
hehehe still fishin...

ok we got the virgins now what? I forgot! lol

somebody help me remember..oltimers sets in...

dusty
 halfamouthful
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 33
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:23:12 PM
ok i gonna sound off here.. you are not going to like it but so f..kn what.
-You are a woman, great, say 45 or 55 or 60,(NOT 12) what you have forgotten is that when you go into a store and see a pair of shoes you like , you dont take them home put them in the closet for a month, and then see if you can change them to fit, -you try them on in the store. so, its the same at our age,, dont put him/her in the closet for a month then complain because he found someone else or any of the other excuses i see here.. When you go into a shoe store you do not try on every shoe in the shopping center, but you do try on the ones you like,, same with men ,, when we were 12 we wanted to find a boob or****and didnt even know what sex was about ------ or supposed to be about,, you think you did, well heres saying you did not have a clue,,, all you can think about is how your many exes didnt do you right-- maybe if you had kept some interest going, he might not have left you for somebody that made him feel great and blew him till there was nothing left for the next girlfriend,,,you were toooo busy blaming him because you dint like his animalistic thrusts to be able to get anything for yourself..... wake up dummy ,,,, other people are having fun,you are the sicko that cant stomach having sex ----- maybe if you did a bit mo0re often you just might to learn to enjoy it a bit.
TOLD YOU YOU WERE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT.....
TRUTH HURTS DOESN'T IT
NEXT,,,, try to meet somebody that is the right size shoe and then make them feel like the best shoe in the whole world,,, think about how great you will feel in your new clothes, and be all you can be to get all the warm fuzzies you can get. yes, we have suffered from the same shit,,,,,,, she just toooooooo tired tonight,,,,but realy it doesnt take that much energy to put your head on his belly and slurp till hes sleeping like a baby, maybe you get something in return, and he WILL be back for more..
 halfamouthful
Joined: 12/14/2007
Msg: 34
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:16:19 AM
Wow thanks,, I signed on this morning expecting to be castrated, There are a lot of ladies in my corner of the world that are still under the impression that all men are still 12
 Hunter 2006
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 35
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:59:08 AM
Girlflower, Thank you, thank you, thank you, for asking the question!

I am very grateful to know I am not alone in wondering how other women feel about the issue.

The responses posted have been so very enlightening and resonated loud and clear with me that I simply had to thank you all!

thank you

H
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 36
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:27:28 PM
I tried the Sexual Revolution. It blew chunks. I did it my way and ended up with a broken heart, broken marriage, and broken home. It's God's way this time. He designed us, so I think it's safe to assume that the Owner's Manual should be consulted. And it's pretty clear on the proper context for sex, which is within marriage.

Of course, since men of my generation don't tend to date women who don't have sex outside of marriage, that means I'll probably never have sex again as long as I live, but I can live with that. I can't live with selling out my self-respect as an escape from momentary loneliness.
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