Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Weight and Sex      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 2
Weight and SexPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
...Its a scarey thought...for me it is anyhow. Its been a very long time since a man has seen me nekkid, I just hope their not too disappointed. I'll just keep the lights down very low for a while haha


...maeflowers
 SWEET~SHY~1~1953
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/30/2007 9:20:46 PM
Heck, I can scare myself nekkid in the mirror But women, we have done all the baby bearing, etc. So, things have gone a little south, what man is perfect? To be quite honest, I think a lot of men are concerned about their size. And if the naughty is all they want, they are not worth it. I am a little shy, but would not be ashamed of my body, if I was in a goood relationship , because I have earned any of my defects, not that I have any , honestly. And, neither should any woman.Go gals
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/30/2007 10:07:32 PM
Life takes it toll on all of us, but there is no reason to just give up and not try to be fit and ready to enjoy another and yourself.

I prefer to have candles and soft lights on when making love, and doing things in the dark is just not that sexy at all. Half the pleasure is seeing your lovers eyes wanting and desiring you, watching that warm body move to invite you in, and all those things you do when enjoying one another.

If you do not feel good about yourself, there is less a chance that someone else will feel good about you either. If someone seeks another that is younger, there is usually a reason, and I am here to say that we need to make sure, the best we can, not to give anyone a reason to look anywhere but our direction.....in and out of bed.....

Just my opinion......
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 12
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/30/2007 11:02:49 PM

I prefer to have candles and soft lights on when making love, and doing things in the dark is just not that sexy at all. Half the pleasure is seeing your lovers eyes wanting and desiring you, watching that warm body move to invite you in, and all those things you do when enjoying one another.

If you do not feel good about yourself, there is less a chance that someone else will feel good about you either. If someone seeks another that is younger, there is usually a reason, and I am here to say that we need to make sure, the best we can, not to give anyone a reason to look anywhere but our direction.....in and out of bed.....


...I'm impressed. Well written and, as always, well thought out and sincere. Thanks for sharing your thoughts...heres to candles and soft lights.


...maeflowers
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 13
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/30/2007 11:08:01 PM

The first time with someone has lots of "magic" and emotion. Not unlike your very first time. If your heart and mind are in the right place "cosmetics" mean nothing. And keeping the "magic" alive is a critical part of a relationship. The worry about how you look is a self esteem issue. If your partner has issues with your weight and appearance.. I'm sorry they aren't your really your partner. If you're with a good partner you won't be thinking much about it.


...Wow, thats really profound...I think many of us ladies here tend to worry about our body image...I know what you say is true and I hpoefully I will remember your words at the "right time".

...maeflowers
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 39
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:10:21 PM
Now with me... I undress you with my eyes, so no need to be ashamed, we can go in the bushes righ away.



...In that case I better put on my best lacy underwear. A lady needs to look her best at all times, you never know whos going to be undressing you with their eyes.


...maeflowers
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 44
Weight and Sex
Posted: 7/31/2007 11:27:18 PM
Angelicblondie, you got it all down...right to the gnats a**.
Once you get over that first hump, it's all a highway to heaven...be there and enjoy it.
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 56
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/1/2007 5:05:06 PM
Don't sweat it . we have seen you ladies with more weight . it tells us your getting old . So , you have some weight to you . that is NOT the thing that will make us run . BUT , those love handles scare us off ? are you kinding .
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 64
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:42:33 PM
...This topic reminds me of another discussion that took place between some female friends of mine. Anyone remember the movie Shirley Valentine? He (her Greek lover)thought she was sexy regardless of weight, stretch marks and not so perky boobs haha. I guess that kinda thing only serves to prove to us ladies that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.


...maeflowers
 ld419
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/2/2007 5:28:28 PM
You are right, weight goes up and down and it is just a point in time but society programs us (women especially) that we are to look a certain way. That's why society is dealing with anorexia and bulemia. Personally, I know I don't look like I did when I was 20 but then at 20 I hadn't had children and lived the life that I have. I don't think I look bad for a grandmother, even carrying those few extra pounds (okay a little more than a few!) lol I know that I am an intelligent and sexy woman! Hopefully I will find someone that will let me show them that!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 91
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/3/2007 8:04:08 PM

The scariest thought is that long walk from the bed to the bathroom and how much jiggling my butt would do on the way, and running would only make it worse!


...Even worse.... him checking out my butt as I head to the bathroom, even worse...the walk back to the bed, more jiggling haha.



...maeflowers
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 96
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:55:32 AM
20 year olds . think thin is in . BUT by the time they are in there 40's , men don't care if she has a few extra pounds on her . it makes her look sexy .
 Marmite baby
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 99
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:56:15 PM
My brain totally agrees, but my heart doesn't. Can't believe that I was self conscious about my body at a size 12. I hate buying clothes now, in spite of not being hugely overweight. I totally agree with what you are saying, and I'm glad that my body , after a few scares , is still more or less working!
 KayceeinTx
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/7/2007 4:22:17 AM

Floppy bellies are a turn off.


I assure you, some people are VERY into bellies, floppy and otherwise. God bless 'em.
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 111
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:41:41 AM
Please give me a break on this subject. By the time that I am ready to do the "Weight and Sex" thing, I will have established an emotional connect that forgives our imperfections. This issue works both ways and reserved for a more profound relationship than dating. I'm not judging your weight by the time sex is introduced. The weight is measured by the heart, not the body. Sex? Yep, yep, yep. Me too.
 FeelingFine2010
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 114
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 1:05:32 AM
I did not read any of the replies...

Anyway, yes, my significant weight gain has greatly affected my social and sexual lives. I don't like to go out very often anymore due to being embarrassed about my appearance due to being overweight. Unfortunately, that leads to more eating...

I haven't had sex in years now (since I started gaining weight, in fact), so yes, it does affect my sex life greatly. I feel I am not desirable enough. Even if someone says I am, I still feel very ashamed of my size and appearance. I don't care how much someone is turned on by my flab: if I think I look bad, I won't be partaking. I have turned down many offers...LOL. Heck, I don't even have enough energy to be a good sex partner, honestly. This is a personal preference and decision. I won't be comfortable sharing my body with someone else until I am comfortable with my appearance and weight. At this point, I am considering life-long celibacy, but I would like to take control to lose this weight for a variety of reasons, not just appearances.
 danishbleu1
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 123
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 11:37:21 AM
I think we as women, always want to be sexy, but yes, having a little bit of Tummy Weight does make us a little apprehensive about taking off our clothes.

If the evening has gone well and there is chemistry between the two of you, then it should not matter about what one looks like...you have already attracted the man enough for him to want to have sex with you....soooo lighten up....enjoy.

Besides, most men have a BELLY anyway...they just think that they look sexy.

Go for it, and enjoy.
 squirterforyou
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 125
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:00:44 PM
Nope...... I am not concerned in the least. Those who want to be with me are prepared for my size, and I am quite past the point of being too concerned of what I look like naked. Those concerns I left behind years ago.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 128
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:42:52 PM
I am so embarassed, but I think most women are right?
 just4fun!
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 130
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:52:11 PM
Well, to start off, I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who's affraid to go all the way with a new friend. I've been married for 25 years, recently divorced and now looking. I have found several guys I'm interrested in, met 5 or 6 and loved what we've done together, but they allways want to go back to my place or go camping or wherever and "see where it goes."
Well, I know where it will go, and that's what scares me. I want sex too, it's been 8 months for me, but after having kids, and aging a bit, and what gravity has done to me, I'm embarrassed to take my clothes off. They allways say things like "I think you're sexy, and I like curves, and don't worry about it, just have fun" but I feel extremely self conscious about my body.
So my question is...how many guys out there really don't care if you're packing a few extra pounds, or some extra baggage? If they say they like you for who you are, do they mean it or do they just want to get laid, and then you'll never see them again?
I'm seriously thinking about a tummy tuck and boob job in a few months, but am I being stupid? should I really just make them take me as I am?



I feel like a misfit toy!
 just4fun!
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 131
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:05:30 PM
well sweetie if you ever want the details of what its like to be coming out of a long marriage and looking at finding a new lover... ask me, I'll tell you. I'm so ready to jump in with both feet, but I'm also petrified of things like pregnancy at 42! STD's and whatever else has been invented in the past 25 years while I've been locked in a cave!

 lovinglife369
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:36:09 PM
I have read the posts and think everyone has a good point and yes, all of us women, whether we are 25 or 65 are self-concious about our bodies. But I do think that you have to be happy with who you are and what you look like. It has taken me a long time to get to this point (and I'm still not 100% happy w/myself) but the gals that said if a guy is with you and talking with you and sees you with clothes on must have an idea of what is underneath! And the gals that said most of the guys aren't "Matthew McConahay (sp)" are right! Most of the guys aren't perfect either! So, just enjoy!

 susieq2007
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 140
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:07:15 PM
I am big. Big big big. I mean, yeah, I could be bigger. Anyone can always be bigger and I could also be a LOT smaller. So I am very self-conscious about my size because I know a lot of men are VERY put off by it.

The first time my new guy and I did anything (a night of unbridled passion! woo hoo!) I wasn't too inhibited about my body (I don't know WHY though! ACK!), but then he was pulling the sheet off of me. I kept pulling it back on and I said, "I don't want you to see me!"

He then said the sweetest thing: "Honey, I done seen everything there is to see!"

And yet, he was still there with me... And he still IS...

If I lost weight, I could do more positions but other than that....???

My last bf wanted me to do this crazy position that he had seen in a porn movie. Sorry, buddy. I don't weigh 70 pounds.
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 157
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/2/2007 5:36:54 AM
A woman who is 220 is better toward a man then a woman who is 150 . A). the woman with more weight THINK us men will only love them IF , they sleep with us . NOT so . we want a woman who can be herself . be thin , fat, ugly , drop dead gorguis . as one said "it's in the beholder "
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 163
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:59:05 AM
If a man is having sex with a woman, that he is willing to overlook any physical 'flaws' a woman might have. Sometimes it's not the physical 'flaws' that can be a turn off, it's the attitude that some women have that is a turn off. Constantly whining about stretch marks, excessive fat, a big nose etc is annoying to a lot of men.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Weight and Sex