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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > played for a fool ?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 memyselfandi1975
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 4
played for a fool ?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
id say SEE YA!! dont need that drama in your life!
 smartchoice
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 9
played for a fool ?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:10:33 PM
I don't think you are played for a fool. Just maybe thought he was free from his past.
Is he divorced? If not then I think the wife gets the priority. One never knows where it can go. Sounds like they have some stuff to work out and if they do there will be nothing you can do or say to change that. If they can become friends then he can heal the past and move on to a healthy relationship with you. Otherwise I think you just get the baggage and stuff he couldn't work out with her on your plate.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 10
played for a fool ?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:21:32 PM
~OP~ I may have missed something, but I do believe you said ex-gf not ex-wife. I remained friends with my exhusband. That was NO secret to anyone. The men in my life met him, we socialized and likewise, I knew most of the women in his life (I'm sure I couldn't have known them all, it changes rather frequently.) There was no sneaking around ~ we were friends, no need to hide one another.

If he is just "friends" with this ex-gf, there should be no need for privacy. What I would do ~ I'd ask to meet her. Invite her for dinner. If he refuses, won't introduce the two of you, gets defensive, etc., he's not done with her. Friends don't hide friends from those they are dating and they certainly don't hide friends from someone they care deeply for or love. Most couples share friends ~ male and/or female. Something just isn't making sense. He's being awfully sneaky (cell you don't about, private time, etc.) for someone who is merely chatting with a "friend." I'm sorry ~ but for me, he'd be gone. I deserve better. JMO
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 11
played for a fool ?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:23:46 PM
well he may not have realized he wa snot emotiinally over his ex so he didn't necessarily play you for a fool, nut now that you know he is not .....run, run as fast as you can.

my fiance went back to his ex 2 weeks before our wedding
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 12
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played for a fool ?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:29:16 PM
I am a huge believer in being able to maintain opposite sex friendships without them effecting your primary relationship.

However, he is NOT on the up & up here. Having a secret cell phone, requiring privacy... nope, not good. Evasion and secrecy is very destructive. I suspect he still has unfinished business with the ex gf... at the very least he doesn't have the emotional maturity to know how to make someone secure and number one in his life while also maintaining other friendships.

No, you aren't a fool. Nor, from what I read here, do you have trust issues. You've been in a relationship with someone who you are JUST discovering isn't making you the priority you want to be in his life. What you do in the next few weeks will determine if you are a fool or not. Unless he can commit to making you the greatest priority in his life... eh, it isn't much for you to invest your life into, is it?
 LokiGragg
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 31
played for a fool ?
Posted: 9/5/2007 3:37:08 AM
To be "just friends" with an ex is code for "I'm holding onto what little hope of getting back with her I have left." He should be kicked to the curb.
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