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Show ALL Forums  > Poems And Quotes  > Add a poem or review one.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 1
Add a poem or review one.Page 1 of 1    
I thought it would be nice to have a place for anyone to come, add a poem, review others poetry and just get to meet some of us that enjoy poetry.
I would assume reviewing them could be done in the thread or by contacting the user with a note. I guess it's really up to the person who wrote the poem to put in their preferred method for reviews. I myself don't mind a review in a public forum but some writers may be more sensitive and may just want you to send them a note directly. Maybe some reviewers aren't keen on having their thoughts challenged by anyone other than the author so I think this would be most beneficial.
Here goes the first of what I hope to be many poems.


Aging love

All these year's I've been with you
Living our lives under these skies so blue.
Each day I awaken to the wondrous sight
Of you, the woman I lay with each night.
Tears and smiles we have shared through
The time we've been together. It is true
That my eyes have wandered from time to time.
Yet no one else can make me feel so sublime.
Your smiles, your laughs and your tears.
The times you've helped me with my fears.
The way we hold each other close day or night.
The feeling, when I'm with you, that all will turn out right.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 2
IFONLY WE BELIEVE..
Posted: 8/17/2007 12:13:24 AM
Dimila,
I'd have contacted you via a note but it seems I'm too young to do so.
First off, thank you for sharing and I would love to hear your thoughts on mine.
Wow, Both works are good in their own right. I'm a big fan of rhyming poems but they were both very good.
I don't review this like an editor, I just go from the gut and what the work does to me. I don't mean to offend in anything I say it's just my feelings and thoughts on the work based on my life experiences and I truly did enjoy them both. That said off I go to ramble about the works.
First work; IF ONLY WE BELIEVE
It makes me kind of sad reading it. Brings out feelings of doubt within me but the last line brings it all together. I'm not sure if it has the uplifting feelings I would like from a work that ends this way. I think it would be more powerful to make it more personal to the reader.
Take the line
"To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us, when it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again"
as an example would have more impact to me if it read
"To believe is to find our strength and courage when it is time to pick up our shattered pieces and begin again"
Maybe it's the words you chose within each line and maybe it's just me at this stage in my life. I did enjoy it.

Second work; THE HEART
Great work. It pulls at my feelings. Makes me remember the sadness of a lost love. The loneliness and yearning associated with the last line seals it. Leaves me wanting to know what happens next in your life (the life of the author). Remarkable work. Engaging and full of feeling. Well done. I enjoyed this one more but both were very good.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 3
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 8/17/2007 12:18:46 AM
My heart goes out to you

My heart goes out to you,
By your side this whole day through.
I can't think about any other
I would want by my side and as a lover.
No way to explain how you've touched me dear.
My desire is that you are happy and without fear.
For this day is ours and nothing earthly can compare
To the feelings that together we share.
For you are the woman which I desire
You are the one I want to hold each day
You are the one who brings me tranquility
For your love is at times warm, others hot like fire.
And when we share time, it's never repeated the same way
And still, I do not see, what it is, that you see, in me.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 4
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:50:09 PM
Well done.
Since you feel that way I guess it's best I stop commenting and just stick to adding poems.



Hello

Hello, such a tiny word to deliver.
I miss you. Reflecting makes me quiver.
The emotions running rampant inside of me.
Oh please won't you respond to my plea.
I ask that your feelings be disclosed.
I can not rely on what I have supposed.
I can not discern what exists within your heart.
Is it something in which we can both take part?
For today I find myself lost.
Being away from you brings sorrow.
How doubt looms over my brow
And all this suffering is the cost
Of my today, but what will be mine tomorrow?
My heart is yours for the taking. To this fact, I avow.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 5
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 8/19/2007 1:47:33 AM
Forever lasting rose

Shall I compare thee to a rose?
The flower which in the garden grows.
The petals which I find as enticing
as your lips so soft and inviting.
The beauty of your smile which lights up the room
is unparalleled, not even by a rose in full bloom.
The thorns, to protect itself, the rose will use.
Wit and attitude, you possess, so that none will abuse.
The rose, a wildflower tamed by man.
To tame you, I don't think anyone can.
And now at the end of our little retort,
thinking that this comparison is not much sport.
For the rose has many flaws and withers away in a short time
Yet you will live forever in my heart, and in this rhyme.
 Toonush
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 6
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 9/5/2007 5:24:57 PM
I just found these forums and thought I would add a poem of my own...I do not mind comments on them so go ahead...lol



Have I Ever

Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?

Have I ever told you
that when I watch you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?

Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?

Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
and so I sat and cried?

Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your name
on this cold screen before me,
wishing
I could reach in
and pull you to me?

Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?

Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?

Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?

Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you?
 Toonush
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 7
Add a poem or review one.
Posted: 9/6/2007 9:57:50 AM
nice very nice. do you have anymore?
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