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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Guys turned off by good night?      Home login  
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 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 1
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Guys turned off by good night? Page 1 of 1    
What would you think if you're out with your friend, her boyfriend and his brother.
Later you go back to the appartment of the brother with the 3 of them. Your friend and her boyfriend go to bed...you hit it off with the brother talking til 11am!

You arrange a second date about 2 weeks later as you're both busy but there's fairly frequents texts in between and a few phonecalls.

First date is great, same as last time and you end up sleeping together. Many texts and calls again and some days later you organise a second date. Where you go to the movies and end up staying back again. All seems very nice.

2 weeks on and there's still no next date, no phone call and the texts are not as frequent. You were supposed to meet up at the weekend but he had to call it off to help his mum with redecorating her house (I actually know he has been helping for sure, the whole family has including my friend).

I was really really getting to like him and I feel like here I go again! :( Can't help but feel dissapointed..I don't get the impression the interest is there anymore? I'm not sure whether to send a message now asking did he have a good weekend ie keep the contact going or just leave him be and see if he gets back to me...

I'm wondering why this has happened?
Are guys turned off by women who are too easy to hop into the bed? If I really like someone...

Also wondering could it be related to a message that came up on my phone on the second date..it was a another guy asking me out on a date. I was very embarressed by this as I like this guy..and I think maybe it showed...however the rest of the evening seemed to be fine.
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 2
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Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 5:40:27 AM
I really appreciate the responses. My backround is somewhat liberal and so whilst I don't sleep around and am very commited to any relationship, if I like someone personally I don't see a need to wait if we're both enjoying ourselves...

I'm wondering should I rethink this and deliberately keep a guy waiting for ages, play some game (i hate games) in order to change this...as obviously it's very hurtfull.

I dated a guy a few years ago for 2 months who I was really beginning to develop feelings for...Same story there...and we also ended up having some fun in the park at night so to speak...as 1-we had no where else to go and 2-I am up for a bit of fun why not...
To this day the fact that he just turned cold on me and when confronted told me "he was afraid of commitment" which was bs as there was no way in hell I was showing any desire for too much commitment at that stage...To this day that hurts and I wonder about it...Was he turned off because he felt I was too easy? Is that what drove him away?

Would realy appreciate your advice.

With this guy i don't think he's waiting for me to call him..I made a joke in a message to him that I hoped my reference to him in his cycle shorts didn't scare him away (there was an ongoing joke about this between us) and he replied "god no" that this thing for his mum had been looming...

Really sorry if I'm making this rambly...I just feel like yet again I'm hearing xyz but my instincts are telling me otherwise...ie I feel like this guy is losing interest and I growing sick and tired of this crap :(
 jlizzy
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 3
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Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 5:46:56 AM
CC77 interesting responses.

1- I didn't answer any call to this other guy. I wouldn't do that. But a text message came in on my phone from another guy asking me out on a date...so if this guy I'm dating looked he would have seen a guys name on my phone and a message "are you free tonight?"

2-BURNING BURNING QUESTION....I do not ever ever rip my clothes off for a man no matter how much I like him SO if it's the other guy who makes all the moves, I put my hand on his hand to stop him and he continues and eventually I go with it because I am also enjoying this..do the same "rules" you just mentioned apply? Am i to be considered one who might go behind a guys back etc etc?

I could understand if i was the one quick to rip the clothes off that's one thing but I hate this hypocrisy that women are easy and blah blah blah when it's the men that get the ball rolling....what about the men....?
 Tiffany T
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 4
Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:35:37 AM
to op, im sorry this happened to you.

some of the men who answered you on here seem like great guys, but cc77 was the one who let you know how it really is

many men, not all, say that they dont want games but they really do. they want to pass judgement on a woman for sleeping with them quickly but will readily admit that they will take the piece of a*ss and move on. a man like that is nothing but a whore. a woman who sleeps with a guy she is interested in and still wants to know him is honest with him and herself and the guy did't deserve it.

they call the woman a whore if she sleeps with him but fail to call themselves the same thing. that type of guy wants a woman who is a sex slave in the bedroom and he gets upset when she trys to have any conversations with him that would be real. a man like that says that he wants a long term relationship but he really just wants a sex slave.

keep looking, some men arent like that
 wildone2228
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 5
Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:03:57 AM
ok, so basically i'll fill it out for you the best i can. Men in general are hipocrites, i'm not going to lie. I dont generall see a relationship going the distance if the woman jumps right into bed with me. I'm not saying i'll refuse, by all means i'll probably enjoy it a lot. However if a girl takes too long to sleep with me i might loose interest and think, well maybe shes a prude. Thats why i'll tell you that you did nothing wrong. All guys are different, and there isnt one answer for all of men. I mean can you honestly say that all women are the same? I'm assuming no. Now for the text thing, if he is still interested he'll get back to you, even if hes bussy, he'll have time to text or call if he really wants, it takes what 20 seconds. If he doesnt, let him go, theres more fish in the sea, and well you probably diserved better. And for some future advice if you are going to jump a guys bones, try to hold off till the second or third base, that way you'll know hes interested in you and not just another notch in his bed post. And you'll probably have more respect from the guy, not to mention the build up of sexual anticipation, and gain of knowledge about the two of you is that much better. But then again dont hold out just cause of a rule, if it happens it happens, but theres no real advice anyone on here can tell you. Its all up to you what you do with it, and follow your head not your heart on this one, a lot of times people make rash descions cause they trust their emotions, which just blind your vision of the real situation at hand.


scott
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 6
Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:16:06 AM
“Are guys turned off by women who are too easy to hop into the bed?”

I am turned off by them in most cases. It is the biggest part of the reasons I don’t even date anymore.

Too many gals screwing too many guys in the name of being ......... “sexually liberated”.

I was married most of my life and came out to this .......... what ever it is ......... what ever “freedom” it is called.

How in the heck could a guy ever feel desirable (special) when he knows - the guy before him and the guy after him gets the very same treatment.
 Tiffany T
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 7
Guys turned off by good night?
Posted: 8/26/2007 11:43:04 AM

How in the heck could a guy ever feel desirable (special) when he knows - the guy before him and the guy after him gets the very same treatment.


who the heck says that it is every guy before you and every guy after you just because somehow a lady found YOU something she was warm enough to sleep with on a first date. thinking it is every guy before and after you is just a man mirroring his own patterns and behaviors on the woman. accept it, you might just have been special. also accept the fact that women JUST LIKE MEN arent virgins for very long.

accept it also that men say they dont want games and prefer honesty but they really cant handle it. a woman has to play the coy game of "waiting" till a later date just to show that she isnt a whore. but a man is supposed to be able to go ahead and sleep with this woman who is offering it up on a first date and not be considered a whore.

men are saying that they will start thinking later that youve been that way with a lot of guys. hell, do you not think that the woman is thinking the same thing. from what some of you are saying is "hey, i'm not gonna turn it down but that doesn't make me a whore, just you." give me a break.

even if the lady has slept with a couple of guys on a first date how does that make her any different than those of you who are saying you wouldnt pass up the offer but would not want her long term? even if she has slept with a couple of guys what bout that means that you arent special to her. do you not trust that what YOU are doing is special. do you think that the only way she will think YOU are special is if she has been denied others? perfect your skill not only sexually but your personality. sometimes it is the great rapport you shared that makes it special not just because you waited until the 5th date to screw.
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