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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sex with minors      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 5
Sex with minorsPage 1 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I think it depends on the mentality of the teenager. There are a few out there who are less ignorant than some thirty-year-olds. Eighteen is just a number-- we have to draw the line somehwere or it will get taken too far. That doesn't mean it's some horrendous thing when someone has sex with a consenting seventeen-year-old.
 SAIUN
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 6
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:06:06 AM
Don't forget about the whole emotional maturity thing. There are a lot of guys in their mid twenties who are less mature than a 16 or 17 year old girl. I'd like to use someone other than myself as an example, but since I can't think of any good ones, here we go:

As a 17 year old, I was attracted to other 17 year olds (duh). Having aged over the last two years now to the age of 19, I'm no less attracted to girls that are 17 because of their age. Now you could say I'm an adult that shouldn't be considering minors, but COME ON PEOPLE. What about when I'm 25? If I haven't matured (hypothetically speaking ) then would it still be so bad?

I sound like I'm defending paedophiles now. Trust me, I'm not.
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 7
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 3:14:28 AM
If they can bleed, they can breed. If there's grass on the feild, play ball.

People close their minds when it comes to this whole "Age of Consent" thing. I don't see a problem with it if the younger party wants it.
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 11
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:31:39 AM
The idea of adults having sex with minors speaks to the idea of someone mature having sex with someone immature. We all mature at different times in our lives, often girls mature more quickly than men. However, for the most part, adults that attempt to have a sexual relationship (which is to say a very powerfully intimate emotional and physical relationship) with someone of a lower maturity, which is often the case with people we refer to as "minors", tends to be a user and abuser of the minor.

That's why laws name specific age limits for "legal" adults. Older people that seek this kind of relationship with minors are usually aggressors. They should be shunned by other members of a society that values honesty, innocence and children. But I forget, so many in society these days don't believe in the punishment of an aggressor, which for me seems bizarre!

It's rather telling that the OP uses a term such as "targets" 17 year olds. An aggressor and an abuser tends to target his/her victims also.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 17
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:28:55 AM
When a person arrives at the age of consent then what they do and who they do it with becomes a moot "issue". If they're acting on their own wishes or desires and make a choice to have sex with someone of an age YOU think is inappropriate basically you have no standing in this matter. This isn't dismissing your own outrage or disgust towards the man described here but is this teenage girl co-operating or is she being forced into sexual acts?

Emotional maturity has NEVER kept pace with any ages of consent when we supposedly "allow" younger people to begin participating in society which means taking responsibility for their actions and choices. If this 17 year old girl WANTS to and CHOOSES to have sex with this guy that should be the real deciding factor here. Legislature alone cannot anticipate a persons level of maturity but some laws can be misused under the guise of "protecting our children". Honestly some of the younger men and women I've encountered in various capacities stunned me both ways on this emotional maturity thing. Some were far more advanced into true "adulthood" while others seem to be about 8 or 9 years old at best. Obviously, there are many "adults" who would barely pass for teenagers with their behavior.

This is in NO WAY meant as a slam against your own sexual abuse survivorship but if it's coloring your offense or horror at an age disparity you find disagreeable then you're basically trespassing onto anothers life. I agree that at 17 and 25 these two might seem mismatched; if it's a consensual thing with no manipulation or coercion then no one is "preying" on anyone. What about these older women who seek out much younger men----are they just as "guilty"?

Child abuse in any form should be a capital crime with its attendant harsh penalties---consensual sex between willing people should NOT be this big a deal----the emphasis on CONSENSUAL!!
 SAIUN
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 27
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 7:26:28 AM

I am very black and white on this subject. There is no gray area for me.


So if this is the case, where do you draw the line, and why is the line at that specific point? Extreme circumstances like a 25 year old with a 16 year old is understandable, but what about my previous example? A 19 year old with a 17 year old is an adult with a minor, but is 2 years really that abhorrent?

To me, anyone who is black and white on an issue such as this is making too many assumptions and is judging things using arbitrary figures.
 cute_red_mandy
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 28
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 7:31:07 AM
I've said it before...

When I was 15, I seduced a couple of my boyfriend's fathers, it was entirely my doing, I was pretty well endowed at an early age and I've always known how to seduce a man.

And trust me, the sex was way better too. If the girl makes a concious decision that she wants to be with him, I see no fault in it.
 Tossed_Salad
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 34
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:32:32 AM

I have never wavered. If they want my child then they will wait till my child is 18.


at least as far as you "KNEW".. funny how many parents THINK that; then find out their 13-14 or 15 year old little 'angel' is pregnant..

of course some know how to use birth control better than others, so are never 'found out'..
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 36
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:21:01 AM
SassySky, if the thrill is in the forbidden fruit, then why not take away the "Forbidden" label?

Seems like a lot of people are saying, "I just don't think an adult should have sex with a minor because it's WRONG... And because it disgusts me."

Hey, same reasoning why people think homosexuality is wrong, right?

Honestly, what other reasoning is there? Adults are merely taking advantage of the younger ones? I'm sorry, but last time I checked, many 13-year-boys are taking advantage of girls the same age all of the time as well. If it's a matter of emotional protection, it's not someone's age that's going to make them hurt another.
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 38
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 9:53:23 AM
Yet like I said, minors take advantage of minors all of the time. It's the same deal. You must also think it's wrong for a twenty and thirty-year-old to have sex, no? How about a thirty and forty-year-old?

You're trying to tell me minors haven't been cheated on, so adults shouldn't want them. It actually makes sense to me that males especially would be attracted to younger girls, considering your best eggs are from age 14 to 27. Those are some young girls.
 SAIUN
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 40
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 10:03:40 AM
Have you all forgotten how much drama there is in high-school with so-and-so cheating on so-and-so etc etc? Don't try to tell me young people haven't "experienced" thing like that.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 53
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:09:57 PM
This might fit into this discussion................

Cute Red Mandy says it like no one else so far can---------she made a choice to have sex at an age most still assume, hope or cling to the hope someone that age does NOT have urges they act upon. I find no fault with her actions other than to seduce otherwise involved men but they also had a choice---they simply made the wrong choice because of their involvements!

When I was 17 a woman of 32 seduced me----well she ravished me but that's not pertinent here. I was a bit shocked and surprised--pleasantly so---given how I came to know her initally but still went along anyway. In this particual situation there was much more than plain lust and I never felt any guilt or sense of shame for participating in something that was so great.

When I was about 26 I met a 15 year old young woman who was by far one of the most emotionally mature, sensible, level headed, assertive people I've ever met---age notwithstanding! (She turned 16 during the time I knew her) For what ever reasons she became attracted to and pursued me relentlessly without any reseveration or concern for who knew about her interest. After many hours of conversation with her I realized SHE was the aggressor yet I kept my distance since it crossed my mind "She's ONLY 15/16............". Thing is I was remembering girls I'd know when we were both that age and it took a long time for me to realize she was not them.

Eventually she "won out" and we did enjoy one anothers company for a bit until she moved away. I can't speculate on what "might have been" but I'd love to know how she is these days just to see what that bold, self-assured young woman has become today----I'd bet it's one equally amazing "older woman" now!

The point it the guy in question is NOT violating this 17 year old and even if this age span offends or worries some it doesn't seem that out of place to me. Yes the concern should his intentions and whether he's making a good choice for himself. If he seeks younger women due to inability to form "normal" healthy relationships with people closer to his own age that would be a problem. If he is attracted to her and she to him then I really, really do NOT see how this is such an abomination or crime against all that is holy, decent, respectful or "right".

My experiences say age alone should not be this big a deal. Thanks Cute Red Mandy for your openness and honesty!
 Tossed_Salad
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 54
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/27/2007 5:12:29 PM
He should be in jail..........


ummm..for what, exactly?

she didn't say what 'jurisdiction' this occurred in, but in many (most) that I know of, 17 would be considered legally of age to consent to sex..(unless it was with an 'authority figure', e.g. doctor, teacher, etc.).

as if the jails are not full enough with people there for realtively mickey mouse BS stuff..(possessing a bit of pot, going to a rub n' tug spot - 2 consenting adults)

I wonder what might happen if cops & prosecutors would focus on REAL crimes..like, ya know, murder, rape, assault, grand theft, etc., etc.. instead of the "easy-to-convict" mickey mouse stuff where they don't have to get off their butts and, even, like, ya know.. collect evidence? (just some statutory thing where there are no real 'victims' )
 Tossed_Salad
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 66
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/28/2007 8:30:51 AM

If a guy in his 20's trys that with my daughter I will hang him form his testels untill they fall off


hope you would enjoy your time in prison, then?

in the scenario mentioned she (we were talking about a 17 -year old? not sue about your daughter's age? ) would be having CONSENSUAL sex with a guy who is older but you would MURDER him? (assuming that 'testels' are something like testicles..?) maybe she enjoyed it as much or MORE than he did?

sounds 'reasonable'..

why is it so much better for her to be getting boned by another 17- or 18 -year old anyway?

many parents will still feel 'protective' about their little 'angel' daughters when they are 18 and even 21, but don't know what she is REALLY doing that they don't know about.
(maybe since she was 13 or 14?)

you are quite naive if you think that 15 or 16 or 17 year old girls don't enjoy sex (most of them anyway). not that *I* would have anything to do with them at my current age, but 25 & 17?
 PRINCESSFIFI
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 80
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:44:30 PM
that is bordering on paedophilia imo...whether a 17 yo is mature enough to have sex with a 25 yo is irrelevent, it's illegal and i would seriously question the motives of the 25 yo pursuing someone who is quite cleary a 'taboo' candidate in the eyes of the law...

she may be 'wiser' than another 'girl' the same age and he may sincerely be attracted to that...but the fact remains it is 'illegal' and his wisdom appears to not extend beyond his penis...

seriously these laws exist for a reason and are there to protect 'girls' and 'boys' from possible predators who conciously cross boundries and then glamourize it with words like 'maturity' to justify their 'questionable' behaviour...
 PRINCESSFIFI
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 82
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:57:32 PM
im from australia alex and here the legal age is 18...
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 83
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:36:50 PM
Seems like quite a majority of you are speaking like good little sheep. "It's disgusting because it's illegal!"

I'm sorry, but since when does America have a perfect system? Do you also think it's disgusting to not be forced to pay for medical care?

Take a deep look inside yourself. Why are you really so offended with the thought of a minor willfully having sex with an adult? Some of you are claiming it's because you have children-- you're giving threats of castration and worse; DEATH [A little more disturbing to me than a minor willfully engaging in intercourse with an adult]-- yet you say SEX WITH MINORS is repulsive?

By saying, "If they can bleed, they can breed," I mean that biologically they're meant to be having babies, whether they start mensus at age nine, or sixteen. You cannot argue with mother nature-- regardless of the laws.

Take a look inside of why you find it so repulsive. Is it because it's all you've heard your whole life? Is it because that's how society is making it seem to you?
 Gee_m
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:33:21 PM

...perfectly acceptable for adults (25 years olds) to target minors (17 year olds)...


Why do you assume that they are targeting specifically for a girl who is 16-17 years old?

I'll get back to this in a moment,

first of all, depending on where you live, there is a thing known as age on consent, this is the age at which point a person is considered legally responsible for a large majority of their actions.

it is also a statement to parents that they should back off and let their kids make their own mistakes in life and pay for them, they can offer advices and criticism, but it's time to back the hell away.

Many places had this age set at 16; at 16 a person is old enough to drive, old enough to get arrested, and old enough to choose who they want to spend their days with. it may not be the right choice, but it's theirs.

Back to the topic at hand, if a guy sees a beautiful woman and approaches her, the conversation usually won't revolve around age, it will follow standard flirting operating procedures and age might be talked about somewhere between the first conversation and the time they move in together.

Why, because people grow up differently.

There are times when I have seen an absolutely stunning woman waiting for someone on the corner of the street, only to find out a moment later that who she was waiting for was the rest of her classmates who all look like high schoolers.

The same has happened to women who find a really handsome man only to find out he's not even 18 yet, it happens, people mature differently.

one of my coworkers is 22, he's dating a 30 year old woman, one of her nieces is 16, she is dating a man who is 22.

Did my coworker's girlfriend seek out a guy younger than she was? no, she thought he was cute and funny and the asked each other out.
Did the guy who is dating her niece stalk around her high school asking out every 16-17 year old till one said yes? No, they met in a coffee shop and happened to be reading the same book. They talked, had a lot of similar interests and started dating, he found out 3 months later that she was 16 and will be turning 17 in a few months.

Be careful when you ask loaded questions. your preconceptions of things make it hard for you to see the other possibilities of the world, and so you judge, often poorly the actions that you cannot comprehend due to the preconceptions. this is not aimed at you specifically, it's just a general rule when dealing with life.
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 88
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 12:09:12 AM
So, VioletSky, you wanted to have sex with a man when you were nine? You told him you wanted it? You told him it was okay? Had you started YOUR mensus at nine? I'm sorry, but perhaps you should actually read what I'm saying before trying to argue with it.

Like I said, to minors who consent. There's a difference between having sex and being raped.

Plus, do you think you'd have as big of an issue with it if society didn't make sexual acts seem so dirty? It's a NATURAL thing! WHY make it seem like it's something to be kept private, even? Our society is still drawing alot of it's laws from religion-- something that SHOULD NOT interfere with the morals of the entire country.
 cute_red_mandy
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 98
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:44:06 AM
sunzofman... you are truly an idiot.

Really, make it a personal thing. Who cares, some people are more sexually liberated than others. I'd rather be a slut than a lonely prude any day ***hole.
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 102
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 10:45:36 AM


Umm are you on crack? Where on earth did you see me say I wanted to have sex when I was nine? Perhaps you need to go back to school and learn reading and comprehension.
Pedophilia ephebophilia may be ok in your book, but not in mine.







Violetsky:

Okay, okay, way to make yourself look incredibly dumb-- try to insult someone by telling them they need to learn reading and comprehension, yet COMPLETELY misinterpret the meaning of my post. I ASKED you if you wanted to have sex whe you were nine-- did I SAY you wanted to have sex when you were nine? NO. Not Once. I don't think I'm the one who needs to catch up on comprehension.

I was asking you, because my point is that what happened to you was molestation, possibly even rape, and you DIDN'T consent to it-- making it very wrong. Learn to read, Violetsky.
 Bunnni
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 104
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:03:34 AM
Like I said, if they don't want an older man, or another person of their age, even, touching them, then the person should leave them alone.

Honestly, I haven't had ONE person say why it's so horrible and bizarre. If both parties are okay with it, regardless of age, then I don't see an issue.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 11:41:04 AM
I imagine that many of the young female posters here that had sex with older men very early on figured out the power that their sexuality gives them over males and little else about their sexuality and the emotional aspect of sexuality so that is why they feel that it is OK for adult males and minor girls to be having sex, because at that age they have control over very little else and being able to use that to get what they want is certainly very attractive. But at some point will start to deal with those decisions and start to really understand what it means to have a healthy sexuality.

That I believe is the difference in an adult having sex with a minor. Minors generally are still struggling with their identity and all the confusion that comes with reaching that strange range of years called the teenage years and learning from the mistakes that happen when trying to break away and stand on their own. That is the problem that I have with adults have sex with minors, the majority of these young people are very vulnerable and being exposed to some one who does not always have their best interests at heart is a major issue and if an adult cannot see that this type of behaviour is not in the best interest of the young person then these people are only in it for themselves regardless of what they may profess. And to anyone that says that people have to learn from their mistakes that argument is ludicrous in this instance, dont purposely put people in harms way and then walk away abdicating responsibility to these youngsters.

Dont pee on my leg and tell me its raining.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Gee_m
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 122
view profile
History
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 6:51:48 PM

If you have to ask, don't do it. If you genuinely want a relationship with this person, more power to you, but wait a year. She'll be legal by then.


Thats what you don't seem to understand,

1) sometimes you just cannot know, I've seen women who are 30 and look like 12 year olds while some 16-17 year olds look like they are 25.

Look up a woman named Kitty Jung in the adult entertainment (porn) the woman looks like a damn child yet she is 22, has a kid and has been in porn since 2003.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Jung

when I first fell on one of her scenes I was shocked, thinking someone had sent me child porn, till I looked her up on Google.

2) depending on where you live, if they are 16 they are legal.

In Canada age of consent is 16, at 16 they are considered legal for most things and if they fall in love and pursue a guy who isn't after them just because they are 16 then all the power to them.


as for whoever posted a question about a 6-7 year old consenting to sex with a 17 year old, no, it's not legal/ consent between minors in most countries has to be within a 3-4 year age range and there has to be proof that there was no manipulation or force involved. Otherwise it's considered statutory rape.

--



admit that girls are getting worse.
In britain we have 13 year olds with 2 kids.
Girls as young as 7 are wearing thongs.
Im always seeing 15 year olds flirting with older guys.
Young girls are starting to look older.
They wear more make up, they wear skimpy clothes and they ACT more mature.


By acting more mature, do you mean acting like skanks?


Take a good look at the adults around them... Mommy is trying so hard to look younger with all her makeup, plastic surgery, botox, creams, products, diets and sexy clothes that she probably can't realize the example she is setting for her daughter.

And since aging women are obsessed with youth, the media feeds on it and throws it back in their faces, since they want the cycle to continue they prepare the younger generations for the exact same desires, thus with the influence of wanting to be beautiful like mommy and wanting to be beautiful like all the beautiful women that the media throws at them, the dress the way mom and the media dresses, and act the way mom and the media act.

-

I also love how you only talky about how it's only men who are going after after 16 -17 year old girls, where it's been proven that the opposite occurs just as often, older women "going after" 16-17 year old boys.

please change your prescription glasses and broaden your horizons of the world people, you're just making fools of yourselves.
 PRINCESSFIFI
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 125
Sex with minors
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:09:37 PM
if a man, or woman for that matter sincerely doesn't know how old the person is, thats an innocent mistake, but once they find out the other is a 'minor' and continues seeing them anyway,thats, imo, inappropriate and not only breaking the law but conspiring to sexually deviant behaviour...

i cant believe the ignorance of some people who think a very young girl, eg, 14 who consents to sex with an adult male is responsible for her actions...she is clearly being exploited and violated...

she may know what shes doing on a physical level and even enjoying it, but psychologically there are obviously deeper issues that need to be addressed, she may be the victim of sexual abuse and cant distinguish between 'love' and 'sex' because her 'innocence' has been violated by someone she trusted, so she emulates what she has been taught is appropriate...

what ever the case a young girl hasn't developed a sexual identity strong enough to deal with an adult man...

unfortunately there are men out there who intentionally target 'minors' and prey on their vulnerability...if thats not rape then i dont know what is!!!.....
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